One Night to Risk It All

by Maisey Yates

  “It’s basic human decency,” he said. “Every parent should want to be there for their child. What about you, Rachel? Were your parents there for you?”

  “Yes,” she said. “Always. My father has always been involved in my and my sister’s lives, and when Ajax came... He loves Ajax like a son. And so did my mother.”

  “You said your mother died?”

  “A few years ago. She was ill. That’s one reason I never went on to higher education or anything. I had to help. Leah was young and...and she needed to live her life. My mother wasn’t the easiest person for me to get along with, but she was sick and she needed someone. So I can’t possibly resent that I spent that time with her.” She fiddled with her fork. “But then...well, then Ajax expressed the desire that we might...”

  “Why did you put him off for so long?”

  “I can see now, clear as day, that my saying I wanted to ‘live a little’ first was mainly because I just didn’t feel anything for him. I dated some other men, but didn’t have serious relationships with them because even though I knew Ajax wasn’t putting an exclusive claim on me it felt like I would have been cheating.” And she’d felt far too burned out to go there, but she wasn’t going to bring that up. “And then we made it official and we’ve been engaged for years and...it was comfortable. To wear his ring and go on with life like it hadn’t changed.” She looked into her water glass. “And now everything’s changed.”

  “Well, not everything. You aren’t married.”

  “And I’m not going to be.”

  “Because you don’t trust me?”

  “There’s that, but there’s the fact that this isn’t even close to being about trust. My father has promised ownership of Holt to the daughter who marries first and to the man she marries. He won’t go back on a promise.”

  “Refreshing,” Alex said, a dark light in his blue eyes.

  “Yes, well, you don’t get to benefit from it. Sorry.”

  “Too bad.”

  “I’m exhausted,” she said, standing. “I think dinner wasn’t the best idea. I’m going to my room.”

  “Fine. Shall I have your plate cleared?”

  “Yes,” she said. “And have cookies sent to my room. And decaf coffee. I don’t want to eat healthy.”

  He arched a brow. “You are a rebel, Rachel Holt. How did the media ever paint you as anything else?”

  “Shut up, Alex.” She turned and walked back into the house, stalking to her room. She flung open the door and then slammed it with equal fervor.

  She needed something. She needed...cookies. And to open a window so that she could breathe. She walked over to the other side of the room and flung the curtains open, then shoved the windows wide.

  The breeze coming in off the ocean didn’t help relieve the pressure in her chest. It didn’t help anything.

  She felt like she was going to burst. The pressure behind her eyes was so intense she could barely stand it.

  But there was no release. She had worked so long to keep her emotions, her desires, anything too wild or demonstrative in check, that she couldn’t let it out even now.

  She couldn’t even be herself when she was alone.

  The scary thing was, she was pretty sure the only time she’d been herself for more than a decade was during the night she’d spent in Alex’s arms. Naked in every single way.

  He hadn’t deserved that. It had been a lie for him.

  She took a deep breath, gulping the air down like water. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping for tears, desperate for a crack in the foundations she’d built.

  Nothing came.

  Damn that Alex. She was so angry at him, so hurt by everything he’d done. And still she craved those moments of release, those moments of feeling like she was home in herself, that only he’d ever given her.

  Well, that was too bad. She wasn’t ever going to be back in his arms, ever again.

  So she would just have to deal with that.

  * * *

  He married me, BTW.

  Rachel stared down at the text from her sister, her body numb. She’d married Ajax? Leah had married Ajax?

  When she’d started texting with Leah that morning she hadn’t expected this. Leah had been checking on her, and she could get why, because running off like this was out of character for her, and because, yeah, she had a feeling they knew full well who Alex was.

  But to find out Leah and Ajax had married? She didn’t even know how to process that.

  She got up from her position on the floor and went to her computer, typing in Ajax Kouros as quickly as she could.

  And sure enough.

  Ajax Kouros Weds Replacement Bride

  “Well...wow.”

  She picked up the phone and typed in Holy crap. Just Googled.

  You’re happy? You didn’t love Ajax did you?

  Her sister’s response came quickly. Leave it to Leah to worry about her, even still. Rachel couldn’t imagine her sweet younger sister with Ajax. Hell, she was the one who was worried.

  As for the love part...

  Not like that. Not the kind you need to marry a guy. You know?

  She hit Send. It was a lie of omission in a lot of ways. Because she would have married him. If things hadn’t changed. If not for the baby.

  The baby. All of this kept hitting her in little pieces. She had a feeling if it hit her all at once she would be completely buried by it.

  Do you love Alex?

  Her sister’s message hit her right in the chest. Because it brought her back to that night. To those feelings. Feelings that were so different from anything she’d ever experienced before.

  I need to be with Alex.

  She typed it, but didn’t hit Send right away. It was the truth. She had to figure out how they were going to make this work, what they were going to do.

  She’d stayed up half the night reading, browsing the internet and eating cookies and basically trying to figure out what had gone wrong in her world and how she was going to fix it.

  She knew one thing for sure: That she had to give Alex a chance to be in his child’s life. Beyond that? She had no clue.

  She finished out her conversation with Leah and tossed her phone down onto the bed.

  Oh, great. And there went her line of defense. Her “No, Alex, you villain! I cannot marry you!” was going to be so much weaker now.

  Although, it was nice to know that Holt was secure. That it would still go to Ajax, because even though she hadn’t wanted to marry him, she hadn’t wanted him to lose anything, either.

  But Leah... Oh, she hoped Leah would be happy. That she knew what she was doing. Leah had always been fond of Ajax. They’d always gotten along, but she hadn’t gotten the idea that her sister wanted to marry him.

  Maybe she was wrong. Maybe they were both better at hiding who they were than people realized. Rachel was sure her sister would never believe that she was a bad girl living inside of a good girl, and that both entities had a penchant for cookies. That she’d had a one-night stand on vacation with her fiancé’s enemy. Nope. She was sure no one would guess that.

  There was a knock on the bedroom door, and this one, she guessed, was Alex. Though she was a little shocked the man knew how to observe things like knocking. It was a social nicety she wouldn’t have credited him with.

  “Come in,” she said, straightening and hoping she didn’t look like she’d had an all-night cookie and internet bender, even though she had.

  Alex strode into the room, as usual, his charisma filling up the small space in a way that was shocking.

  “They got married,” he said.

  “So I saw,” she returned, and she was sure they were talking about the same people.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. It was shocking
ly sensitive, all things considered. A lot more sensitive than a man who was just out to use her should ever be.

  “I’m...fine. Worried about Leah. I didn’t want her to...to marry someone she didn’t love for me.”

  “Maybe it wasn’t for you.”

  “Of course it was,” she said.

  “The whole world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”

  “No, I’m well aware of that. I get used a lot. But what I want doesn’t ever seem to be that important.”

  “Are you sorry you aren’t married to him?”

  “Am I sorry that I’m not trapped in a loveless marriage with him?”

  “You could be trapped in one with me,” he said. “It might take your mind off her.”

  “Nice try, but I actually think that I might relish my newfound freedom.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have screwed everything up. When the press find out...well, when the press find out, I’m not going to be their princess anymore. They love me, sure, but they love Ajax and the wayward woman will always be the villain. My father will be so disappointed that I...that I didn’t learn. Leah’s had to marry someone she doesn’t love because of me. I’ve messed up everything. I have...no reason at all, in all the world, to keep doing what’s expected of me. Or rather to start again. I’m ruined,” she said, laughing. “Utterly ruined. And there’s no point even trying to backpedal. To try and legitimize myself by marrying my baby’s father when it won’t change the circumstances. My father can’t pay anyone off and make this go away.”

  “So you’re ready to go and face the press then?”

  “I am absolutely not,” she said. “I...I want you to know that no matter what...whether I was pregnant or not, press or not, whether you had come or not...I wasn’t going to marry him.”

  “Is that the case?” he asked, his voice rough.

  “Yes. I can’t. I...I can’t. But that doesn’t make me brave. I would still be hiding, without the baby. I’m a coward, and I feel totally fragile and I want to hide out for a while and figure out...what all this means. See what...what happens with the pregnancy.”

  “Do you have any reason to believe you’ll miscarry?” he asked. He looked disturbed by the idea, which was strangely touching. It was easy to imagine he was digging in and doing the right thing because of his past experience, but he almost seemed to want the baby. Almost seemed like he would be sorry now if it didn’t happen.

  And she felt a little bit shocked by the revelation that she would be sad if something happened. That she wanted the baby, no matter the circumstances.

  “No. Not any reason beyond statistics. I mean...they happen, don’t they?”

  “I suppose. But it hardly seems right to plan for one.”

  “I’m not. I’m just being cautious.”

  “I have to go back to New York for the work week. I have several clients I need to meet with and it has to be done in person.”

  “Why can’t you Skype them or something?”

  He leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his broad chest. “I’m new in town still. Comparatively. That means I have to play by other people’s rules sometimes.”

  “You must hate that.”

  He smiled that wicked, enticing smile. “I hate rules. But you have to play the game. And the game has been good to me so far. It’s how I’ve earned my money. It’s how a kid from a brothel ended up being a billionaire.”

  “Well, have fun in New York,” she said. She didn’t want to probe deeper. Didn’t want to find out more about him. Didn’t want him to seem so human.

  “You aren’t going to come?”

  “Was I invited?”

  “Of course. You want to stay here then?”

  She did, weirdly. She should go home and face the music. Her father. Everything. But she wasn’t ready for that yet. She wasn’t ready to share her and Alex’s...relationship? Whatever it was, with her family. When she told her family she was pregnant, she would have to confess that she’d had that little indiscretion and she wasn’t ready to tell them yet.

  Wasn’t ready to expose that part of herself, a part she’d only just discovered. A part Alex had uncovered.

  She hadn’t even known she was capable of being swept away on a tide of desire, and she wasn’t really ready to let anyone else in on her revelation.

  “Yes.”

  “By yourself?” he asked.

  “Sounds ideal, actually.”

  He pushed off from the door frame. “Well then, please yourself.”

  “Shall.”

  “I will see you next week.”

  She nodded slowly. “Okay. Next week, then.”

  “Then...then we’ll decide what we’re going to do.”

  She nodded, holding back a groan. She wasn’t ready to decide anything.

  “No guarantees.”

  “People do not tell me no, Rachel. I warn you of that right now.”

  “Funny, I’ve told you no quite a few times.”

  “Yes. But before you said no, you said yes. Pretty emphatically. I’m sure I can get you to say it again.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  HE WAS SO TIRED he wanted to lie down and not get up for three days. But he didn’t want to lie down alone. He wanted to lie down next to Rachel. To pull her curvy body against his and just hold her while he slept.

  That was probably the jet lag talking, but oh, well.

  It was morning on the island, late night in New York. What he had to do was drink an espresso and suck it up. He was young—there were plenty of people his age who partied every night and went to work the next morning.

  For some reason, though, half the time he felt old.

  Maybe it was the strain of being a respectable businessman when he knew that it just wasn’t programmed into him genetically. He would have been better off selling his body for cash or selling other people to turn a profit.

  He shut down that line of thinking and walked into the house.

  He could hear singing. Coming from the kitchen. It was off-key, and it was horrible. Warbling about wanting to make someone feel wanted.

  He followed the noise like a bread crumb trail, and at the end of it was a blonde with her hair piled high on her head in a messy bun, dancing around the room in short pajama shorts with an empty mug in her hand.

  “Good morning,” he said. “Is the coffee made?”

  She stopped then flailed, her arms flung wide. “Ack!”

  “Sorry to interrupt.”

  “You scared me. I didn’t know when you’d be back.”

  “I texted you.” That was how he’d kept in touch with her over the past week. The occasional text just to make sure she was okay. Sometimes she’d even responded without an insult.

  “I hadn’t checked my phone yet.”

  “I’m so disappointed you weren’t waiting for contact from me with bated breath.”

  “Sorry.” She went over to the coffeemaker and set about filling the empty mug.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “It’s for me.”

  He shot her his deadliest look and went to the cabinet and picked out his own mug, then poured himself a cup. “I don’t think you appreciate how much I need the caffeine.”

  “I’m supposed to limit it, but I can’t seem to shake the need for an early morning cup. But the doctor said that was okay.”

  “Doctor?”

  “Yes. I managed to secure myself a covert doctor visit while you were gone.”

  He leaned against the counter. “And?”

  “Knocked up, as we thought.”

  “And?”

  “It’s early. No point doing an ultrasound or anything like that.”

  “But everything is fi
ne. And you can drink a coffee.”

  She curled her fingers like talons around her mug, her eyes glittering evilly. “I can drink a coffee.”

  “Okay. Don’t cut me or anything.”

  “Hiss.”

  “You just said hiss.”

  “Hissing at you would be overdramatic. It was like a pre-hiss. A warning.”

  He looked at her, in her pajamas, her feet bare, toenails bright pink, her hair piled high on her head, and laughed. She was the most absurd little thing he’d ever encountered.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You’re so weird.”

  “I am?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why are you shocked by it?”

  He shrugged. “The press makes you look like some...staid and stable ribbon-cutter.”

  “Ribbon-cutter?”

  “Like you go to openings and stand there and cut the ribbon.”

  “Hmph. That’s your bad for believing the media’s representation of me! They only see a small bit of who I am, and they report on a piece of that. They don’t know me or what I do at home.”

  “Is that their fault or yours?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You’re very guarded, Rachel, and while I have to say you don’t seem to be around me, in general, I think you are. Does anyone know you?”

  Rachel paused with her coffee mug halfway to her lips. She was unhappy because seeing Alex walk into the kitchen had sent her heart way up into her throat, even worse than it had done when he’d sent her text messages during the time he’d been away.

  “Alana probably a little.”

  “Alana?”

  “My friend. The one I was in Corfu with. The one who encouraged me to go and talk to you. She was my maid of honor along with Leah, actually. Well, she would have been had I gone through with the wedding.”

  “And she knows you?”