Let Me Love You (Australian Sports Star Series Book 2)

by Blobel, Iris

  As he followed Britt to the back of the house into the kitchen, he took in the familiar voice, the way she moved, and was surprised how much she reminded him of her brother, Erik.

  “Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?”

  “No thanks, I’ve just had one.”

  Britt turned and nodded. “Well, young man. I have to finish my work in the backyard. Tamara shouldn’t be far away. If you go up these stairs—” She pointed to her left. “Her apartment is on the second floor.”

  He stared at her as if he hadn’t heard her right. Was she really letting him alone in Tamara’s apartment? Erik must’ve put a big word in for him.

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  Oliver walked up the steps to the second floor. There was a little landing in front of the door. He gave the door a little push with his finger and stepped in. Looking around, he admired the small place Tamara had called home for the last few weeks. The nicely sized apartment had well-maintained hardwood floors. The big windows offered great lighting in the living room. At the opposite end of the entrance was a small fireplace, which, with the high ceilings and exposed bricks, gave the place a warm, welcoming atmosphere. He walked towards the sofa and saw a small kitchen on the right, as well as a small bedroom and bathroom next to it.

  Curiosity overcame him, and he stepped into her bedroom. It was decorated in warm colours as well, with a few photos on the wall. When he looked closer, he noticed they were nature shots—really good ones. Oliver recognised Erik, Jenny, and Britt in some of the photos on the chest of drawers, and assumed the man next to Britt to be Tamara’s father. He was surprised, not to see any pictures of Jason. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a frame which lay upside down in the back corner. He picked it up and raised an eyebrow when he saw the person in the picture.

  “Well, whatta you know,” he said to himself.

  A surge of hope rushed through him as he carefully placed the photo back onto the chest of drawers. With a smile, he went back into the lounge room.

  ***

  Tamara stared at the car in front of the house, but didn’t recognise it. She assumed her mother had one of her friends over for afternoon tea. It wasn’t unusual for her friends to drop in for a little chat.

  She walked into the house and threw her bag on the stairs.

  “Hi Mum, I’m home,” she called out and followed the sound of banging pots in the kitchen.

  “Hello darling.” Britt gave her a kiss on the cheek.

  Tamara looked around and took in the mess. There was a pile of vegetables and some meat. “What’s for dinner?”

  “Soup,” her mother replied without giving more details, knowing too well that Tamara wasn’t a big fan of soup. “How was your day?”

  “I picked up a couple of books. That’ll keep me busy for the next few days.” She took some cake before she continued. “By the way, whose car is that outside?”

  Britt slapped herself against the forehead. “Oh my. I almost forgot.” She turned and said, “You’ve got a visitor upstairs?”

  Eyes wide and almost choking on the piece of cake, she mumbled, “What?”

  “A young man from Melbourne,” she explained. “Uncle Eric knows him, that’s why I was happy to let him in. What’s his name again? I swear getting old is no fun.”

  Still stunned, Tamara asked, “You let a stranger in my apartment?” Turning on her heels and without waiting for her mother’s reply, Tamara grabbed her bag and raced upstairs. She took two steps at a time, and by the time she made it to her front door, she was out of breath with her heart racing twice as fast as usual.

  It wasn’t because she was out of shape, but because of who was apparently behind that door—Oliver.

  She opened the door, and there he was sitting on her sofa, eyes closed, and it seemed he was asleep. Not sure whether to cry or laugh, she walked over and gave him a gentle nudge against his leg. His eyes flew open straight away and, unexpectedly, took her by surprise.

  Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he stood.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice sounding shaky even to herself.

  He smiled, and even though she wasn’t sure why, she cursed for reacting to it with tingles down her spine.

  “How are you?” he asked, reaching for her hand, but Tamara stepped back.

  Oliver dropped his gaze down to the floor, and a pang of guilt shot through Tamara.

  “Oliver?” He met her gaze, and she said, “Why are you here?”

  With a casual shrug, he replied, “I need to apologise. I treated you badly after we…after—”

  “You slept with me?” she finished for him.

  Nodding, he moved away and walked over to the window. She watched him and noticed how he still walked with the slightest limp. Her head went dizzy, not able to follow the conflicting instructions from her brain and her heart. Her heart was telling her to walk over and hug him. Yet, her brain had other ideas, telling her the opposite. Stay away and keep cool.

  “I never meant for this to happen, I never meant to hurt you.” He paused to look at her. “The whole thing, you and me—” He shrugged.

  “A fling?” she finished again.

  He shook his head. “Is that what it was for you?”

  Looking away, she took a deep breath. No, it hadn’t, but she needed it to be. He was in Melbourne, her life was in Perth. She was a widow, and although he’d lost someone dear as well, they grieved in different ways. Tamara wanted to change her life, and he needed to find his place again after his knee surgery.

  “Yes, it was,” she said with as much confidence as possible.

  “Bullshit,” he said.

  “Excuse me?”

  Another shrug as he looked away again. Tamara didn’t say anything, assuming he wanted to focus on the conversation again after his outburst.

  “I don’t believe you. For me, being with you is different. For the first time there was more to it than just sex,” he whispered. “For the first time I felt being with a woman.”

  Her heart beat a little faster when he mentioned different, and at times she felt like butterflies turning over in her stomach. Tamara’s anger dissipated, and yearning crept up in her. It would be so easy to walk over to kiss him and forget about what had happened.

  Leaning against the window with both hands, he continued, “And I can’t stop thinking you did too.”

  “Why did you leave?”

  Without looking at her, he replied, “I thought I was ready to begin again, but when you asked me about Erin…it hurt so much…it was like—” Letting out a long sigh, he turned. “I’m so sorry I left you behind that day.”

  “So am I,” she whispered as she sat on the couch. “You’re obviously not as ready as you thought you were.”

  But deep inside, she knew telling him he wasn’t ready for a relationship was only an excuse to take some of the guilt she felt. It’d made her decision to move back easier. She would’ve fallen for Oliver, in fact she already had, and that was exactly what she didn’t need. Her new intent was to move on and change her life. Not change the man she was with.

  When Erik had told her about the petty cash accusation and that the story had been made up by Cindy, Tamara had known that she’d never be happy in the office. Although proven wrong, staff would always remember the issue and it’d always be in the back of their minds. She’d always liked the idea of working with children, and moving back with her parents gave her the financial freedom to change her career without having to worry too much.

  Oliver brought her back from her thoughts. “Why did you run away?”

  What did he say? Run away? He’d been the one who’d run away. “I didn’t,” she exclaimed.

  “You did. You packed up and left.”

  She sighed. Yes she had. But not from him. At least, he was only one small part of the reason.

  “I’m sorry. I had the best intentions to call, but then things happened so fast. The thing with Cindy—” Looking up at him, s
he asked, “You know about that, right?”

  He nodded. “What a lot of crap that was. Why—”

  Tamara held up her hand. “It was a real eye opener. I would’ve always been the one who was accused. I know, they apologised and such, and I believe Cindy’s gone, too, but lying in my bed those few nights, I had a lot of time to think. The end of the lease came up, Mum and Dad agreed for me to move back in. I’m going to study Teaching Children with Special Needs.”

  Oliver raised an eyebrow. “Kids?”

  She chuckled. “You make it sound like a bad disease. I love children.” With a half-hearted shrug she added, “Who knows whether I’ll ever have some of my own.”

  “Not if you’re running away from a relationship.”

  Her chuckle turned into a laugh.

  “Are you scared of another relationship?” he asked.

  “Even if I were, you are, too,” she fired back.

  He stepped closer and cupped her face. “But I’m here now. I’m here to give this a go.”

  She leaned into his warm hand, forgetting for a brief moment how much she’d missed his touch.

  “I can’t—”

  “Let me love you, Tam. Please, let me—”

  Trying hard to hold back the tears, she met his gaze. “My life’s here in Perth.”

  Oliver’s silence nearly broke her heart. As much as she wanted him to leave, deep inside she hoped for something else. Something more. Did she expect him to fight more for her?

  “Yes,” he finally said. “Talking about Erin hurt. I feel like an ass leaving you that day. And I’m truly sorry. If I could change it, I would.”

  His hands fell to his sides as he stepped away from her. “Erin and I had only been together for a few weeks. Nothing serious.” Letting out a long breath, he raked through his hair. “Everyone expected me to grieve. I mean, of course, I felt empty for a long time, but I wasn’t really grieving for her. For Christ’s sake, I didn’t even know her that well. I met her parents for the first time at the funeral, and I didn’t even know she had two sisters. All the while, Mum was struggling in hospital, and I had to hold back feeling guilty for being responsible for that.”

  He shook his head. “Listening to you made me realise what a lie I’d dished out to everyone. I talked to Mum—” He looked up and smiled at her. “She really likes you.”

  A smile tugged at Tamara’s lips. “I enjoyed her company as well that day.”

  “Anyway,” he continued. “I suppose it’s a bit like poetic justice. The whole crap, you know. Now that I can’t play anymore.”

  Everything inside Tamara tightened. She was surprised by his honesty. Not necessarily by his words, but the thought process and the reality, that unlike what she’d believed, he was more prepared for something new than she was.

  She finally moved closer to him and placed a kiss on his lips. Ignoring what she’d figured out, she said, “We both need to find our ways first, before we’re able to start something new, Oliver. You’ll have big task ahead of you, taking on the coaching position at the club.”

  “I’m sure I can easily find something here in Perth.”

  She shook her head. “No. Your life’s in Melbourne.”

  Oliver opened his mouth, but she placed her finger on it. “Please, Oliver. Trust me, it’s better this way.”

  ***

  Oliver stared at her, not wanting to believe the words he was hearing. All he wanted was Tamara. He didn’t need to live in Melbourne. Perth was only a couple of hours away via airplane.

  “Tam?”

  She shook her head, walked into her bedroom, and closed the door behind her.

  Rubbing his face with his hands, he took a deep breath, turned and walked towards the door. Before he left though, he looked back one last time, hoping she’d changed her mind, hoping she’d stand there asking him to stay, but she didn’t. He stared at the closed bedroom door but it remained shut.

  With no choice, and having done everything he could, and having said everything he had to, he left, knowing he was closing the door on something special, and something that could’ve been really good. With his hands still on the door handle, he was tempted to go back and make love to her until she saw that she’d been wrong in asking him to leave. He was so tempted, but in the end accepted and respected her decision that there was no space for him in her life. Slowly, he took one step after the other, still hoping, still listening, but in the end, he had to face the fact that it wouldn’t be, and he left the house and drove back to the hotel.

  He grabbed a beer at the bar and joined a group watching Top Gear before heading upstairs for the night. Tossing and turning, it took him a long time to find sleep, Tamara on his mind.

  ***

  Tamara heard the door close and nausea crept up in her. Leaving Melbourne without saying goodbye to Oliver had been hard, to let him go again even harder. Tears running down her cheeks, she lay on her bed, trying hard not to run after him. She knew the pain inside. It was the pain of losing someone, and although Jason was taken away from her in death, the pain of loss was the same.

  “Darling?”

  Tamara startled and looked up to see her mum. She sat up and wiped her tears, but there was no way one could fool a mother.

  “What have I done?”

  Britt sat next to her and hugged her close, placing a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. Tamara sobbed, her whole body shaking. The simple gesture of Britt’s hand moving up and down Tamara’s back as her mother whispered words of comfort calmed her, and she relaxed.

  “I think it’s time.”

  Tamara looked up at her mother, not understanding the words.

  As Britt cradled her daughter like a little child, she said, “I have no idea how it must feel to lose someone so close, and I’m sure there’s no guideline one can follow, but hiding away—”

  “I’m not hiding,” Tamara protested against her mother’s chest.

  “Of course you are. You moved to Melbourne because Erik was always the one you turned to when you needed a bit of support. As much as one can settle in a few weeks, you did well, and then a nice man comes along and a jealous—”

  Britt mumbled a word Tamara couldn’t understand, so she looked up. “Did you just say bitch?” Tamara asked with a hiccuppy sob.

  “Excuse me? No way would I use that kind of language. But now that you’ve mentioned it, I’d say it describes her perfectly.”

  Tamara let out a little laugh.

  “Mum, this has nothing to do with these two. How can I work in a company that doesn’t trust me?”

  “Poppycock. It has everything to do with it. My girl would have stood hands on hips in front of management and would have told them, in very nice words, of course, to go to hell, and then left.”

  “I did.”

  “No, you didn’t. You simply left, leaving it to Erik to pick up the pieces.” Britt let out a little sigh. “Darling. Your dad and I weren’t happy to see you leave for Melbourne, but we were happy for you to take your life in your own hands again and work hard to move on. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting or leaving behind. You’ll always have Jason with you in your heart, and he will always be part of your life. Moving on means to pick up the pieces and create a new you without him.”

  Tamara sighed.

  “Moving on doesn’t mean moving to Melbourne. Moving on means catching up with old friends, who, by the way, have lost a friend as well. Moving on means, letting people like this handsome fellow who was here before, back into your heart. You get hurt in life, but you get up again. You lose some, and you win some.”

  As Tamara listened to her mother, she wondered how to move on. Jason had been her whole life. They’d met in high school when he’d been teased by other girls because of his braces and pimples on his face. It was Tamara who’d stood up for him. He hadn’t been happy with the fact that a girl had helped him, and he had made sure she’d known. Filled with a combination of anger and hormones, she’d made sure to be overprotective and in his
shadow nonstop, telling everyone what a mama’s boy he’d been. The rumour she’d started about him paying her money to be his bodyguard spread like a fire. And one day he’d stood in front of her door. They’d thrown a barricade of nasty words at each other until exhausted. Britt had placed chocolate cake in front of them afterwards. They’d been inseparable since then, finding their common likes for maths, action flicks, and bike rides. By the time Jason had turned sixteen, the braces were off, and he’d turned into a handsome teenager. Those girls who’d teased him then had now become jealous of Tamara.

  For more than a decade and a half, he’d been part of her life. How could she now move on? How could her heart skip a beat when she looked at Oliver? And how could she enjoy making love to someone other than Jason as much as she had?

  “He isn’t ready,” she replied with all the stubbornness she’d inherited from her father.

  “Oh, that sounds like the pot calling the kettle black. You’re not ready, darling. He did the first step by coming here. Actually, that was the second step. His first step was to ask Erik for your address. That would’ve been scary in itself.”

  Tamara chuckled. Her mother was right. Her uncle could be a little overprotective when it came to his niece.

  “Mum, I don’t know how to move on.”

  “Darling, you need to talk to someone. Not because of Oliver, but because of your friends. Someone to help you walk and talk amongst people without being scared to go home in case somebody might have invaded your privacy again. Someone to help you learn to live on your own, help you move past your fears.”

  She met her mother’s gaze dead on. “I did live on my own in Melbourne.”

  “But you never went out.”

  Tamara remembered the night she’d gone out with the girls from the office. Markus had offered to walk her to her car, but she’d refused, and later she’d sat in front of her house for half an hour to make sure nobody had been in it.

  “I did go out,” she whispered.

  “With the guy from before? What was his name again?”