Outback Heart

by Palmer, Fiona

  Troy blew the whistle, which just about burst her eardrums.

  ‘Righto, you blokes – back in two lines, handballing back and forth,’ he said. He began to walk away and Indi’s shoulders slumped. She was about to sit down when Troy stopped and swung back around to her.

  ‘Okay, I’m not used to having people around and usually I do things on my own. But . . .’ he sighed, glancing away as if he almost couldn’t believe what he was going to say next, ‘I can see you’re not going away. So just stay by my side, speak when spoken to, and we’ll see how this goes.’

  Indi pretended to zip her lips and nodded. His stern face softened and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He headed back to the team.

  Indi was still standing there, doing her happy dance in her mind. Man, he has the most exquisite eyes, she thought. Up close she could see the tiny flecks of gold in his swirling dark chocolate irises. They were so mysterious, as if he were hiding dark secrets. She trembled at the thought. Finally, someone she didn’t know everything about.

  ‘Indi?’

  ‘Huh?’ She shook her head and realised Troy was waiting for her to join him. Crap! Stay by my side – isn’t that what he’d said? She jogged towards him and tried to hide her excitement. Inside her nerves were buzzing like fire ants under her skin. This was going to be the best football season ever.

  Indi pulled Trevor’s washing out of the machine and carried the basket outside to his clothesline. Already a week had passed since she’d officially become Troy’s right-hand woman. She thought there might be more conversation, more interaction, more learning. Hopefully that would come later.

  She started to hang up a large pair of white undies that could have been used to sail a boat. Just as she’d finished hanging up the last item, she collected the dry cotton shirts and underpants from the line. There was no way she was going to get old and wear big undergarments like these. She heard her name called and quickly grabbed the basket, heading back inside.

  ‘I’m here, Trevor. You okay?’ She put the basket on the floor in the small lounge room. The old brown carpet had seen better days. Indi knelt beside Trevor, who sat in his recliner. She put her hand over his frail, knobbly hand as she waited.

  ‘I was just saying, dear, that dinner smells like it might be burning.’ Trevor looked over his glasses at her. Any further down his nose and the large metal frames would fall to the floor.

  ‘I’ll go check.’ She patted Trevor’s hand and headed to his kitchen with its old-fashioned decorations. He’d lived in this house for most of his life. There was history in every corner, on every wall and in every drawer. Indi learnt something new each visit. Trevor was always telling her stories. Last week she’d cleaned out the linen cupboard that the mice had got into and found a collection of old wedding gifts they’d never used. Trev then told her all about their wedding day out on the farm and how fetching Elsie looked in her white lace dress. ‘I felt like the luckiest bloke in the whole world,’ he’d said, with a sparkle of life in his aged eyes.

  The casserole she’d made for Trevor’s dinner was perfect. ‘Here,’ she said, getting the tray table and putting his dinner down on his lap.

  ‘Oh, it looks great. Thanks, Indi.’

  ‘I’ll put the rest in little containers so you’ll have dinner sorted for the next few nights.’

  ‘Are you going to have some, dear?’ he asked in his gravelly voice.

  Trevor was eighty-eight, but still very switched on. Sure, he wandered off from time to time, could be vague on the odd occasion, but he was as tough as they came and there was plenty of fight in him yet. Which was why he refused to move into a nursing home. Hyden was his home. His wife, Elsie, was buried there and their only son was nearby. Indi could understand that he didn’t want to leave. Her mum had hated every minute that she spent in the hospital and longed to be home.

  ‘You cook like your mum, Indi. I miss her,’ he said, his fork hovering above his bowl.

  Indi had begun to fold his washing and paused to smile at him. ‘I do too.’ Every week her mum had dropped in on Trevor, to help him out and to cook him something nice. Even when she was sick she never missed a day. Indi had started going with her, often doing all the tasks while her mum chatted to Trevor. After her mum died, Indi just kept coming. She couldn’t abandon Trev, and now they’d formed an even deeper bond.

  Indi blinked away tears as she watched him eat. He was bald except for the hair sprouting from his ears, and he had a big nose that had hosted a few cancers. She loved him fiercely, as if he were her own grandfather.

  Indi had the washing all neatly folded on the coffee table and then glanced at her watch. ‘Oh, crap.’ She was late for footy training again.

  ‘That should be your catchphrase, Indi,’ Trevor teased.

  ‘I’m sorry, Trev. I’ll just do up the dinners quickly and then head off.’ She bent and kissed his wrinkly cheek. He held her arm.

  ‘You whip those boys into shape, Indi. I want to see them win a few games before I croak it, you hear?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’ She saluted with a smirk.

  When she finally got to the oval she was fifteen minutes late. Troy was on the oval kicking the football with the guys. Her jaw just about dropped as she watched him kick a torpedo straight through the posts. He looked good doing it.

  Troy got the guys to work on handballing and he headed over towards Indi. She could see Troy’s frown from where she stood.

  ‘I know, I’m sorry.’ No point bothering with an excuse, she figured. ‘How are they going?’

  Troy was enchanting as she listened to his husky but sure voice run her through what he had planned for the training session.

  ‘I made up these sheets. Just trying to work out some positions,’ he said, passing them over. He’d been doing his homework, working out the guys’ strengths and weaknesses. She cocked an eyebrow as she studied Troy, realising she’d just found someone who might love footy more than she did.

  ‘What?’ he asked. ‘Too much?’

  She smiled and shook her head. ‘No, it’s not that. I think it’s fantastic that you’re so organised and taking this seriously. We’ve always just bumbled along,’ she said with a shrug.

  ‘So that’s a compliment?’

  ‘Sure is.’ She liked the small smile he gave her; it softened his chiselled features. He looked a lot like Josh Duhamel when she thought about it.

  ‘So how come you don’t play? You kick a mean ball,’ she said, trying to keep the awe from her voice. His smile disappeared. ‘Someone has to coach,’ he said and shrugged. ‘So, this jumper presentation on Saturday – what do I have to do?’ he asked. Again his eyes didn’t stay on her for long. The sudden change in his demeanour and the subject didn’t go unnoticed but she let it slide. ‘Don’t worry – I’ve got Patrick organising the numbers. All you have to do is hand them out. I’ve got a Saints jacket for you too.’‘Thanks, Indi,’ he said before his focus returned to the boys on the field.

  *

  Indi lost track of time as she sat on the sideline watching the team train. The light had faded by the time she felt a tap on her shoulder. ‘Hey, Indi, how’s it going?’ Tegan said.

  Indi hugged her friend. ‘Tegan, hey, mate. What’re you up to?’

  ‘I’m just here to watch Jaffa. He wanted a lift home. He had to drop the tractor in for repairs earlier.’ Tegan’s freckles were hidden beneath make-up.

  The girls had gone to primary school together in Hyden but had been sent to different high schools in the city. The moment Indi had moved back to Hyden to look after her mum, the two girls had bonded again.

  ‘Hi, Troy,’ said Tegan, giving him a wave. ‘We met at the Telecentre a while back,’ said Tegan.

  ‘Hi, Tegan. I remember.’

  Indi watched as Troy smiled at Tegan. Maybe she’d have more of a chance catching Troy’s eyes if she dressed like Tegan? Thank god Tegan was dating Jaffa.

  When the boys spotted Tegan, wolf whistles rang out in the night air
. Jaffa grumbled at them all.

  As the other players started on the next drill, Jaffa stepped towards Tegan and pulled her in for a hug, kissing her lips. ‘Hello, babe. Did you see that last kick? Not bad, hey?’

  ‘Yeah, good one,’ said Tegan, nodding eagerly. Jaffa smiled before sprinting back to the drill.

  ‘You two are so cute together. How long have you guys been together now?’ Indi asked. Jaffa, with his styled hair, sleeve tattoo up his left arm and designer clothes, seemed like the perfect match for Tegan. He’d been working for local farmer Bill Harrington for the last two years and seemed happy in Hyden. He originally came from a town south of the city.

  ‘Just cracked over a year,’ said Tegan.

  ‘Wow. You do make a great couple.’

  Indi felt Tegan stiffen slightly, her head nodding slowly. ‘I guess.’

  Tegan turned and smiled at her. Indi wondered if she’d imagined the pained expression on her best friend’s face.

  ‘I can’t wait for Saturday. Should be a fun night. I have this fab dress you should wear.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know, Teegs.’ She was about to decline when she remembered her earlier thought. ‘Actually, I haven’t got dressed up in ages.’

  ‘Now you’re talking.’

  Indi watched Troy as he chatted to Jasper. The muscles on his arms flexed as he gestured to the other side of the field. A slow burn began in her lower belly. Maybe she should get some lessons on how to flirt, too? Her flirty smiles just didn’t seem to be working.

  Jenny had already let half of the town know that Troy was single. Indi sighed, trying to expel all her crazy thoughts. Time to focus on football.

  9

  2006

  TROY paused and leaned against the wall. Just walking from his room to the boarding house dining area had worn him out. This had been his life for the past few days, confined to his room. He’d been too sick to go to any classes, barely able to get around.

  ‘Troy, you tosser. Come on, we’ll miss out,’ said Freddie, his bright-red hair flopped across his forehead as he stopped beside him.

  Troy shook his head and pushed himself off the wall. ‘I don’t think I can make it.’

  ‘Yeah? You don’t look so flash.’ Freddie sounded concerned. ‘Actually, you’re kinda pale. Maybe you should go back to bed. Didn’t your mum just take you to the doctor?’

  ‘Yeah, she’s been staying in the city while I’ve been sick but they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. She’s booked me in with some other doctor,’ he managed to whisper. Breathing was hard; he felt like he was being suffocated. ‘She’s coming to pick me up just after lunch.’

  ‘Well, you look like shit now and you’ve hardly eaten all week.’

  Troy felt the room start to move. He reached out for Freddie as he fell.

  ‘Troy, are you okay? Troy?’

  Troy felt he was fading. The room was fading. Freddie was fading. Everything was slipping away.

  Somewhere he could hear Freddie calling out for help.

  ‘Troy? Good to see you’re with us. I’m Dr Matthew Brown. Do you know where you are? You’re in hospital. Intensive care. You will be feeling a bit groggy and weak, we’ve given you some sedatives.’

  Troy blinked at the doctor. He was in a bed, hooked up to machines. His body hurt and the room seemed so bright. He could hear a loud thudding, like a heartbeat. He tried to string some words together but nothing happened. His eyes shifted to the person holding his left hand so tightly. His mum was looking down at him with tears in her eyes. What was she doing here?

  ‘It’s okay, Troy. We’re here,’ said his Dad.

  Troy’s eyes scanned across to the other side of his bed. Dad? How come they’re here and not in Geraldton? What’s going on? Am I dying? Am I dead?

  ‘Son, the drugs you’ve been given for the virus weren’t working.’ Troy had never heard his dad so quiet and gently spoken. His face looked more stressed than ever, the lines on his face like furrows in the paddock back home. Thank god Dad’s finished harvest, Troy thought.

  ‘That’s right,’ said the dark-haired doctor. ‘You have Viral Cardiomyopathy. Your heart was weak, very enlarged, and your vital organs were starting to shut down. That’s why you were so unwell. And the reason you couldn’t eat, or didn’t want to, was because your heart was enlarged and pressing on your stomach. You were shutting down there and then.’ The doctor paused to shake his head. ‘We rushed you straight into surgery. We’ve connected a device called an LVAD, a Left Ventricular Assist Device, to your aorta. It’s designed to support your heart.’

  ‘It was a long operation, honey, about eight hours,’ his mum said, giving Troy a weak smile. She looked exhausted, her eyes red and swollen. ‘And you were so sick. All night we were worried but the cardiovascular team brought you through it.’ She squeezed his hand so tightly that it started to hurt. Her dark hair was hanging around her face, messy and unwashed.

  ‘You have a driveline coming out through your abdomen that is connected to the mains power supply at night, and during the day you have a battery pack to keep it going. But we can go over that in detail later, when you’re up to talking and asking questions,’ said the doctor.

  Troy kept staring at the doc’s white shirt and dark pants. Shouldn’t he have a white coat?

  ‘Now, you lost a lot of blood during your operation and we’ve been giving you transfusions,’ added the doctor.

  ‘Son, so many nurses and staff here have donated blood for you. So many,’ Owen cut in. ‘Apparently fresh blood clots easier than stored blood – so, you’re well known around here already, mate.’ His father spoke proudly. His rough hands held Troy’s. It was nice having him so close.

  ‘You contracted an infection underneath where the pump is placed, so we’re giving you high doses of antibiotics.’ Troy was hearing the doctor’s words but still not able to respond. ‘Hopefully in a week you’ll be shifted to the coronary care ward to recuperate.’

  Trish turned to the doctor and then glanced at the big machine in the room. ‘How long does he have to stay connected to the life support machine?’

  ‘We’ll have to play that by ear. Hopefully not too much longer. Look, that’s probably enough for you to take in right now. I’ll pop back later when the sedatives have started wearing off.’ The doctor raised his hand. ‘I’ll see you later, Troy. Just rest.’ With a nod to Troy’s parents, the doctor left the room.

  ‘How are you feeling, darling?’ his mum said as she leaned over him, stroking his face. ‘I’ve brought a pen and some paper, one of your nurses said you could probably write things down later, as it may be easier than talking. I know this must be daunting for you, but you’re going to be just fine.’

  Troy closed his eyes. He was confused and scared but her words were reassuring.

  ‘That’s it, just rest for now.’ His dad’s voice was faint, drowned out by the sounds of the machines in his room. But the loudest noise of all was the whump whump in his chest that wasn’t from his heart.

  Eight days later, Doctor Brown entered Troy’s room in the coronary care ward.

  ‘Hey, doc,’ said Troy. Nurse Niki was checking that his driveline was sterilised before redressing it. She was his favourite nurse. He liked them all but Niki was young, cute and blonde. She was upbeat and full of smiles. She’d tell him jokes or they’d talk about music.

  ‘Troy, you’re looking good today,’ the doctor said. ‘Great to see the artificial heart is working well. Won’t be long and you’ll be heading home.’ Matt leaned over to check the area around the driveline. His eyebrows rose as he smiled and nodded to Niki. ‘Great. Well, I’ll leave you to it. See you, Troy.’

  ‘Bye, doc.’

  Niki finished dressing the area before pulling off her gloves and smiling at Troy. ‘So, I know this girl, Peta, who has asked me if she can come and visit you. She’s a previous patient and she might be able to help you understand what living with the LVAD will involve. She likes to help out around here if she
can. Also she’s cute,’ Niki said with a wink. ‘What do you think? Can I bring her in?’

  Troy shrugged his shoulders. ‘Yeah, okay, I guess.’

  ‘Great, I’ll go let her know she can come up. I think you’ll like her. She’s something special.’ And with a sly smile Niki left.

  Troy sighed. Anyone was better than his mum. She fussed so much. Thank god Dad had gone back to the farm – he’d taken his sister Geraldine so she could go back to school. There was no point them sitting around a hospital room, and it was Gerry’s last year in primary school. It had been really touching to have them all there for him. It was all still a bit new and weird. Trying to sleep with the noise from the LVAD had been difficult, but at least the noise let him know that his heart was pumping and that he was still alive. He’d never forget Freddie’s expression when he first saw Troy lying there in the hospital bed. His face was even paler than usual.

  ‘Far out, Troy. You gave me a heart attack.’

  ‘Yeah, well, I almost lost mine,’ he’d replied and they’d both cracked up laughing.

  ‘So, you need to have this device in until you can get a donor heart, right?’ Freddie asked.

  ‘Yep. I have to wait for the right donor though.’

  ‘Shit, mate. That’s heavy.’ Freddie had run his hand through his thick red hair, a forlorn look on his face. ‘What about sports? Can you still play . . .’ The unspoken word had hung in the air like a thick fog.

  It had been one of the first things Troy had asked when he had come around. Could he still play? He hadn’t liked the reply.

  ‘Ah. I can play sport, just not contact sports.’ Troy watched Freddie waiting for it to register. Freddie looked confused. ‘It means no more football.’

  ‘For real?’ Freddie went silent, trying to process the news. He was the one person who really understood the love Troy had for football. ‘Dude, I’m so sorry. We were going places in footy, mate. You at the Eagles, me at Freo.’