Outback Heart

by Palmer, Fiona

  Tegan raised an eyebrow and made a noise of delight. ‘Well that’s a start. Go you.’

  ‘What’s a start?’ asked Jasper. ‘Do you like Yoda?’ His face contorted.

  ‘Jasper, get a clue,’ said Indi.

  ‘Yeah, Jasper. Gee whiz,’ added Tegan. ‘You know, Jasper isn’t as bad as you make out, Indi. He doesn’t complain as much as you say he does.’ Tegan grinned cheekily.

  Indi nearly spat out her beer. ‘You’re kidding. He’s done nothing but whinge since he came home from the hospital.’

  ‘What do you expect?’ Jasper asked. ‘I’m going insane inside that house, Indi. Oh, and next week you’re taking me to training. No buts.’ Jasper took a swig of his beer and plonked it down hard. He was trying to be serious but it just made Indi giggle.

  ‘I didn’t take you yesterday because you weren’t dressed, you were whining and I was running late already. You wanna come next week, be ready.’ Indi finished her beer and put it on the bar. ‘You’re just pissed off because the team won another game without you.’

  ‘Thanks for the kick in the guts, sis,’ said Jasper as he got up off his stool.

  Tegan shot her a look that said be nice, just like their mother used to.

  ‘Just because you don’t have any annoying brothers,’ Indi said to Tegan. ‘He’s not as sweet as he makes out.’ When she saw the look on Jasper’s face she got up and gave him a hug. ‘But for some reason I love you madly.’

  ‘It’s my good looks and my charm,’ said Jasper as they prepared to move to a table.

  Tegan had their table number in her hand and automatically held Jasper’s crutches out for him. Indi waved to her dad to let him know they were taking their seats.

  ‘I’ll be pissed if we make the finals. Just my luck: we finally have a chance with Yoda at the helm and I’m out.’ Jasper pouted, and Tegan squeezed his shoulder.

  ‘There’s always next year, Jasp.’ Tegan smiled at him and Indi saw Jasper turn to mush. Tegan had that effect on guys. Indi wondered if she could learn it.

  ‘So, will we win against Corrigin tomorrow?’ Tegan asked.

  ‘Anything’s possible,’ replied Indi. She had her fingers crossed already. ‘Have you seen how the crowds are building? Of course not many are following to the away games yet but the home crowds are bigger.’ It was exactly what she’d hoped for: build a team to be proud of and watch the townsfolk flock to the games. Everyone needed something to believe in. Indi believed in this town and the people, she believed in the team and Troy. The moment she met him she knew he’d be a man to change things. She just hadn’t realised he would change her too.

  They were in Corrigin early on game day. The big oval was the first thing they saw as they came around the corner into town. It was just Indi, her dad and Jasper in the car. Maddie was working and Pat had offered to take Troy to the game. Indi was a little disappointed.

  Inside the change room she started rubbing down a few of the guys while others got changed and handballed the footy around. It was loud and smelly, as usual. Patrick, being captain, rounded them up into a group and began shouting out strategies and plays to pump them up. Indi made a quick exit before the testosterone suffocated her.

  ‘So what do you think our odds are for winning today’s game?’ Troy asked as he jogged to her side.

  ‘Pretty good, I reckon. Especially if Pat’s got anything to do with it.’

  Troy smiled at Indi. He is certainly giving them out more freely these days, Indi thought.

  ‘I did it, you know,’ she said, stopping by the edge of the oval.

  ‘Did what?’ Troy tilted his head. His eyes shining with interest.

  ‘Gave up the CWA and the Telecentre jobs.’ She bit her lip. ‘Well, mostly anyway. I’m still around if they need help but I’ve taken a step back from both.’

  Indi had been able to control her feelings around Troy so far, but that look on his face was undoing all her good work. He looked like he was actually proud of her.

  ‘For real? How does it feel?’ he asked.

  ‘Actually, it’s a relief.’ Indi glanced at her feet. ‘And I guess I have you to thank for that,’ she mumbled.

  Troy nudged her arm. ‘Say what? I didn’t quite catch that. You’ll have to speak up,’ he teased.

  ‘I know you bloody well heard me,’ said Indi, putting her hands on her hips. But she repeated it anyway because she liked seeing his cocky smile and the amused glint in his eyes.

  He held her arm, his long fingers curling over her tingling flesh. ‘I’m glad, Indi,’ he said softly. Then he dropped his hand and headed to the edge of the oval near their interchange bench. Indi couldn’t move just yet. She was still waiting for her blood to start pumping again so she could have the use of her limbs. Her eyes were still functioning, glued to Troy’s denim-clad backside and strong thighs.

  Jasper hobbled across to her just as the team ran out from the change rooms. He leaned on his crutches so he could high-five the guys as they ran past. He smiled but as soon as the team was on the field his face sank. ‘Hey, you’ll be back soon enough,’ she said, walking with him to the boundary.

  ‘Yeah, I know. Lucky we have Pat still out there,’ Jasper said, and then smiled weakly.

  Indi agreed. ‘Have you had a good brotherly chat to Pat lately?’ she asked.

  ‘What about?’

  ‘Did he tell you they’re trying to have a baby?’

  Jasper shrugged. ‘No, he hasn’t said a thing. Really? Cool.’

  ‘Don’t tell Dad. Let them surprise him.’

  ‘Righto.’ Jasper was digging a hole into the lawn with the end of his crutch.

  ‘What’s up with you?’ she asked. ‘You’ve got something else on your mind, I can tell.’

  ‘It’s just . . .’ He looked up, his shaggy hair flopping across his forehead. ‘I overheard Jaffa with Tegan earlier.’ Jasper looked uncomfortable as he began digging at the grass again.

  ‘Why? What happened? Is he still being a jerk?’

  Jasper’s head snapped up. ‘What do you mean still?’

  Indi waved him off. ‘It wasn’t much, just that I think she’s been having a few issues with him. Some blokes shoot their mouth off when they get full of grog.’

  ‘Well, he wasn’t drunk this time and I know it wasn’t my place to step in or embarrass Tegan, but he was so wrong. You don’t degrade anyone like that. He was putting her down in front of the guys and treating her like shit. When she tried to defend herself he called her a bitch and told her to pipe down.’ Jasper looked lost for words for a moment. ‘And I thought Jaffa was okay, that Tegan was with the best bloke around here, but now I’m starting to think that with Jaffa it’s all a front.’ Jasper turned to Indi and she noticed fierceness in his eyes. He was really angry. ‘Look, don’t say anything, will you, sis – just in case I got it wrong.’

  ‘But Tegan . . .’

  Jasper held up his hand, cutting her off. ‘She’s with me a lot, I’ll suss it out.’

  Indi pulled a face. She wasn’t sure how subtle Jasper would be. Sure he had a compassionate side, but he was pretty good at putting his foot in it too.

  ‘It’ll be okay. I’ll keep an eye on her,’ Jasper said, trying to reassure her.

  ‘Indi!’ yelled Troy. ‘You gonna help today?’ He motioned for her to join him.

  ‘Coming,’ she replied, but turned back to her brother. She really wanted to know what went down with Tegan and Jaffa; she needed to finish this conversation.

  Jasper motioned for her to move. ‘Go on, I’ve got it. Don’t worry. Run to Yoda,’ said Jasper, with a smirk. Indi would have loved to kick his crutch out from under him but she couldn’t risk him hurting his sore leg so she shot him a glare and flipped him the bird instead.

  ‘Oh, classy,’ Jasper replied as she walked away.

  Indi stood beside Troy. She was close enough to feel the heat radiating from his arms. She wished he’d put a jacket on and hide himself from her. It might also help mask the fresh
, sexy scent that was making it impossible to concentrate.

  She knew Troy wasn’t standing there thinking about her in the same way. He would be fully focused on the football. Maybe she should wear skimpy outfits made of skin-tight black leather? It seemed to work for Gracie.

  ‘What are you thinking about?’ asked Troy. His eyes were piercing, as if trying to read her thoughts. He put a finger to her forehead and wiggled it. ‘You have a little thinking line, right here.’ He smiled and she realised he was teasing her.

  ‘Ha ha,’ she said dryly, but inside she was beaming. She liked this Troy, the one who wasn’t afraid to tease her and have a bit of fun. It wasn’t much but she hoped over time he would let the rest of his guard down. Those mysterious clouds that darkened his moods still remained but maybe one day they’d float away.

  20

  2006

  MRS O’Donnell walked Troy into the hospital. His housemother was all he had at the moment. His parents probably wouldn’t even be at the Geraldton airport yet.

  A nurse was waiting for him. He remembered her face from his last visit but couldn’t quite remember her name. ‘Hi, Troy. Come and we’ll get these tests done.’

  Troy knew this was coming. Peta had told him about it too. There would be another person waiting for a heart, another person who would have been paged, and only one of them would be the lucky recipient. Troy wondered if the other person was there yet. Were they old or young, male or female? Did they have kids? Would their family be here, too, supporting them?

  The nurses were crossmatching blood and tissue samples to see which one of them it would be. There was a fifty-fifty chance Troy would be going back to the boarding house with his own sick heart.

  ‘Troy?’

  He looked up from his chair expecting to see Mrs O’Donnell. She’d stayed while the tests had been done, refusing to leave him alone.

  ‘Peta.’ Troy stood as she ran towards him, her hair flailing behind her. ‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ he said as they wrapped their arms around each other.

  ‘Are you the one? Do you know yet?’

  ‘No, can’t be long though.’

  A shuffle of feet caused them to pull apart, but Peta kept Troy’s hand in hers, clinging on tightly.

  ‘Hi, Helen,’ said Peta, greeting the nurse. ‘Helen was one of my nurses on the transplant team,’ she said as she leaned against Troy.

  ‘Hi Peta. It’s good to see you. Now I’ll be on Troy’s cardiac transplant team too.’ Helen smiled, waiting for the news to sink in.

  Troy felt the world rotate. ‘It’s me?’ he croaked.

  ‘Yes, it’s you. It’s time to get you ready,’ said Helen. She was already wearing scrubs, her hair pulled back into a bun.

  Troy felt Peta hug him again. ‘Good luck. I love you.’

  ‘But my parents?’ There was no way his parents would be here in time to see him. What if he didn’t make it through?

  ‘I’ll be here when they arrive, Troy. It’s okay. You have to go now,’ said Peta. ‘I’ll tell them you love them, okay?’ Peta bit her bottom lip. She was trying so hard not to cry. His strong girl.

  ‘Thank you.’

  Mrs O’Donnell stood up and hugged him too. It was as close to hugging his mum goodbye as he could get and he was surprised at how tightly he clung to her.

  ‘I’ll be here until your parents arrive. Good luck, Troy. We’re all thinking of you.’ Mrs O’Donnell put her hand to her mouth as she tried to remain strong.

  ‘I love you,’ Peta said again as she hugged him one last time. Her fingers caressed his face as she kissed him. He hoped it wasn’t the last time he got to kiss Peta.

  ‘Come on, Troy,’ said Helen, holding out her hand. Troy stepped towards her, Helen’s hand went to his shoulder and together they walked down the corridor. Troy glanced back at Peta as she stood beside Mrs O’Donnell. He smiled. She smiled back – and that was the picture he took with him. He knew he’d come out of this. He had to.

  When Troy finally awoke he was in a glass room. He thought he was dead – everything was so bright and his LVAD had stopped. He started to panic, wondering if the batteries had gone flat, but then a nurse came in, talking to him, checking on him. She was covered head to toe in a gown and gloves. That’s when he knew he was alive, which meant he must be in ICU – which also meant he had a new heart. He wouldn’t hear the LVAD ever again. He wondered what they did with his old sick heart. Was it burnt? It made him wonder whose heart was inside his chest now. The owner’s family was mourning the loss of someone they loved while Troy lived. He lived with that other person’s heart. Troy tried to move his hand, wanting to feel his chest, to feel the heart beating, but he was too weak.

  The nurse noticed his movement, put his chart back and stepped to his side. ‘Yes, it’s working beautifully. After eight hours of surgery, your transplant was successful. The new heart is healthy and started beating just like it should. Your parents got to see you before you were moved into ICU. You’ve been in an induced coma for twenty-four hours.’ She kept talking gently to him, giving him time to process her words. ‘Your mum is just getting prepared for a quick visit. You’re immunosuppressed right now, it’s so your body won’t reject your new heart, and that means limited visitors.’

  He nodded. It wasn’t much but the nurse saw it and smiled. ‘I’ll check how she’s going.’

  Over the next two days, Troy faded in and out of sleep. He had weird dreams and the odd visit from his immediate family. He was dying to see Peta. His mum said she’d been with them the whole time, waiting while he was in theatre and even now she waited at the hospital. He had a lot to thank Peta for.

  On the third day he had a visit from one of the cardiologists who said his new heart was going great. He could finally sit up and talk to Peta.

  ‘Hey, you,’ she said, looking better than ever. ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Better now you’re here,’ he said. He liked the way his words made her melt. ‘You’re a sight for sore eyes.’

  Peta sighed. ‘Yeah, well, now I know what my family went through with me, and I can tell you it totally sucks sitting in that bloody waiting room. Time ticked past so slowly and we just sat there, staring at each other, or the walls, or our feet. Bloody horrible. Think I preferred being operated on.’ Peta reached forward and touched his hand. ‘Don’t worry – they’ve been scrubbed to death. I’m germ free.’

  He grabbed her fingers. ‘I can’t wait till I can get out of this bed and hold you.’ Troy was thinking of much more and as he watched the colour rise in Peta’s cheeks he knew she was thinking the same. ‘I won’t have batteries to manoeuvre around either.’

  ‘I know. But it’s weird, hey. Waking up and not having the sound of the LVAD.’

  ‘Yeah, it’s hard to get used to. I keep panicking about my batteries. Who would have thought I’d miss that sound?’ he said.

  ‘So now you’ll have all the tests and drugs,’ she said with a weak smile. ‘You’ll feel like a druggie popping fourteen pills a day, and then you’ll have to go to the transplant clinic every week for ages.’

  ‘How long is ages?’ Troy asked. He was glad he’d soon be able to play cricket with his mates but weekly clinic visits would be a pain.

  ‘I went every week for about three months and then it goes to monthly. At my first year anniversary it became every six months and next year I’ll only have to go annually. Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘They just do blood tests to check your levels. Especially the immunosuppressant levels to be able to adjust your medication. You’ll have echocardiograms and chest X-rays and ECGs, along with your fitness sessions at the cardio gym.’

  ‘You should be my nurse,’ he said, teasing.

  ‘I’ll take that as a compliment. But you’ll still have to take care around people with any infections or colds because of the immunosuppressants.’

  ‘All this talk is boring. Tell me about something else, something fun.’

  ‘Well, in two weeks, you’ll be let o
ut, so we can go cruising in my hot little Datsun – and I mean hot because the heater is stuck on.’

  Troy laughed, ignoring the ache in his chest. ‘We’ll go to the river, maybe watch some yuppies float around in their big boats. You’ll be back at school before too long, and Freddie will be giving you the shits soon enough.’

  ‘You got that right. Especially now he’s been drafted. What an idiot. Fancy getting picked up by the Eagles when you’re a massive Dockers fan. Serves him right.’ Troy felt envy wash over him. Sure he had a new heart, a new life, but it would never, could never, be his old life. Football was no longer an option. He had to let his dream go. Freddie had said that he was picked by the Eagles just for Troy, that it was fate. Since Troy could no longer live his dream of playing for the Eagles, Freddie was going to live it for him the best he could. Troy would be his inspiration. That had made Troy so incredibly sad and proud all at once. He wondered how long it would take before the pain of not playing football left him. How long till it faded from his mind?

  Peta squeezed his hand, as if sensing where his mind had wandered. He looked up at her. He might not have football but he had Peta. He really was the luckiest guy around.

  21

  TROY couldn’t believe it was the start of July already. It was cold enough. He was rugged up, directing the boys through their drills and envying them. He wouldn’t be cold if he were out running around. They asked him often enough but if he started having a kick it wouldn’t take long before they got carried away and got rough. Then he’d have a hell of a time telling them why he couldn’t play rough. It was better to stand back and stick to the role of coach.

  Troy had been looking at the fixtures and was shocked to realise there were only five games left before the finals. Five! And they only had to win the last few and they could make it into the finals. Normally Troy wouldn’t have found that anything special, but after coming here to Hyden and learning about the losses over the years, feeling the lack of support from the town, he’d come to realise how bloody important it would be. Heck, just to be in the finals for these guys would be huge. He watched them now, working together like a team. He was proud. The team had been so excited by their first win, putting in the extra effort. They all witnessed Spud’s physical transformation but his game had improved dramatically too and this made most of the guys take up extra running. The inspiration grew as their spirits soared.