Wellington Cross (Wellington Cross Series)

by Lane, Cheryl

  He reddened slightly, and then laughed. “All right. You’re right, of course. Thank you.”

  The rest of the week was a busy one, with all the new household members getting used to new duties. Catherine taught school to both Ginny and Sambo in the mornings after breakfast for a couple of hours. She set up a corner of the parlor for this purpose. When I had cleaned the rooms upon my arrival here, I’d found scraps of paper as well as lead pencils, and Catherine had a few books to teach from.

  During these times of teaching, when Lillie Rose was not with me in the mornings, I looked over lists for William and Jonas of things they needed for the field work, and also a list of cooking things Catherine needed or any other household items any of us needed. I organized things and thought of ways to achieve such items, how soon we needed them, and what we would trade the next time we went to the marketplace. Then I worked outside in the gardens and tended the vegetables, grapes, and herbs while it was still reasonably cool – at least, cooler than it would be the whole rest of the day until the sun went down. The mornings would heat up fast, and sweat would be dripping off of me by the time Catherine called everyone in for dinner. I would clean up a bit before Clarissa arrived with Lillie just after dinner. Clarissa would visit for a bit with her sister before heading back to Wellington with Hetty, who had become the housemaid and Clarissa’s personal handmaid.

  I would play with Lillie for a little while, sing songs to her, and play patty-cake and peek-a-boo games. She’d walk around holding onto the furniture while I cleaned various rooms of the manor until it was time for her nap. That’s when we’d go upstairs and get on my bed together where she’d snuggle up as close as she could to me without getting overheated. The heat in the room sometimes was stifling, despite the shade of the tall old oak tree. While she slept, I’d mend clothing or work on knitting an afghan for Lillie for the wintertime. Once, I had to mend my crinoline with blue thread, as I had run out of white thread. I was lucky to be able to find thread at all for the afghan. It was made of sheep’s wool from a local farmer. As soon as the cotton came in over at Wellington, Clarissa promised to give me some after spinning it into thread in order to make blankets.

  Occasionally, I would take Lillie down the gently sloped hill to be refreshed in the river for a spell. I’d strip her down to nothing and let her splash around for a bit, not long enough to get red from the sun, but long enough to get cooled off. I would wade without shoes or stockings, crinoline off, and pinning my dress up to cool off my legs. It was refreshing, and I would tell Lillie stories of playing here with her father and uncle when we were children. Though she was probably too young to understand what I was saying, I still liked talking about those happy times to someone.

  My thoughts never strayed too far from Ethan, much as I tried to guide them elsewhere. He began coming to pick Lillie up in the afternoons, claiming Clarissa and Hetty both needed to stay at the plantation and couldn’t come up and down the road twice a day. Therefore, I saw him every day, just like when Lillie was sick. I was reluctant at first, knowing it would be painful to be so close to him so often, and yet found that I also looked forward to it. He’d come after Lillie and I had our garden tea parties, sitting on a blanket under the big oak tree. Sometimes he would venture upon us while I read stories to her or told her those stories about us when we were kids. The first time he overhead us doing that, I was telling her the story of when I fell out of the tree. I told how her daddy carried me to the house and never left my side until I was able to play with him and Lillie’s uncle again. After I finished telling the story, I was surprised to see Ethan standing close by, wiping his eyes.

  One afternoon when he came to pick Lillie up, he found us up in the unbearably hot attic, a small part of the third floor that Jonas was not using that was used for storage, the same area where I had hidden things under the floorboards during the war. I had found an old trunk of my mother’s things, including a white lacy shawl she had crocheted with a small delicate needle, along with her wedding ring, which was silver with a red ruby, her birthstone. I put the ring on my own finger, first on the left, where a married woman would wear hers – where I had indeed worn the ring that Ethan gave me – but then changed it to my right hand. That was when Ethan crawled into the low-ceiling room and found us. At that moment, Lillie Rose chose to walk her first steps without holding onto anything, and she walked right up to her surprised daddy. Both our jaws dropped, and tears filled our eyes as we witnessed our baby girl taking her first steps.

  Ethan took hold of her and twirled her around the room, and we both cheered and laughed. “Lillie! You took your first steps! You’re walking now!” Ethan exclaimed happily. “Is this her first time?” he asked me.

  “Yes, I’m witnessing her first steps the same as you. Isn’t it wonderful?” I was so glad we were both there to see it happen.

  “Yes, it is.” He put her back on the floor on her feet and we both clapped our hands. This excited her, and she giggled and tried to clap her hands, as well. She was simply adorable.

  “She’s thriving so much since she’s been under your care, Maddie-I mean, Madeline. It truly is amazing.”

  “Thank you for saying so, Ethan. That means a lot to me. And thank you for letting me help take care of her. That means even more to me.”

  “What’s that ring you’re wearing?” he asked, looking at my mother’s ring on my right hand.

  “It’s my mother’s wedding ring. I found it in this trunk, along with this lacy shawl,” I said, picking it up to show it to him. “I’d forgotten that I put them in here after she passed, before the Yankees came back here.”

  “Oh, that’s nice. I…I really wish you could wear the Wellington wedding ring.” I looked deep into his eyes, understanding the meaning behind his words. “I mean, well, anyway…” his voice faltered off, and he looked away from me and ran his hand through his hair. I had given him a hard time about not talking about intimate things, and I supposed he was being considerate at the awkward moment, not wanting to upset me with his words. I appreciated that he was trying to be a gentleman by not being too intimate with me, now that we were no longer married.

  “I know what you mean,” I said, touching his hand and squeezing it for a moment. “I do, too,” I whispered.

  He looked back down at me, still sitting on the floor, and squatted down on my level to plant a soft kiss on the top of my head. I closed my eyes and breathed his essence in deeply. He smelled like pine trees, brine, and sweat, and to me, it smelled wonderful. He stood back up and looked at Lillie again.

  “I hope we find that ring again someday,” I said softly.

  “Me, too.”

  “Could we talk some more downstairs? The heat is sweltering up here, and I’m feeling a little faint.”

  “Of course, let’s get you and Lillie out of here.”

  Ethan carried Lillie downstairs to the main floor, and I followed behind them with the shawl in my hands. Ethan decided he and Lillie should be going anyway, and so I walked them out to the carriage.

  “Feeling better now?” he asked, looking concerned, touching my elbow lightly.

  “Yes, thank you.” He moved his hand away from my elbow. I tried not to show my disappointment.

  “You know, I feel a little better with more people living here with you and Jonas now,” Ethan said while putting Lillie in her carriage seat. “I’m not sure I completely trust William yet, but I still worry about Jeff coming after you.”

  “I do, too, sometimes, but I feel safe here. I’m happy your aunt and cousin are here with me now. I’m no longer the only lady, besides Lillie, of course,” I said, looking at our little girl in the carriage. His eyes looked at her, as well. “Ethan,” I said, touching his arm to get his attention back again. He turned around, and I withdrew my hand, not trusting myself with the feeling I got when we touched. Instead I touched my necklace, the Celtic cross, and looked down at the ground. “I…I still wear the Wellington necklace. Would you like it back?” For Eliza
beth, I thought, though dared not speak aloud.

  “No,” he said, touching my chin, bidding me to look at him. “It belongs with you.” He withdrew his hand. “You will always be considered a Wellington, part of the family. And perhaps someday if Lillie Rose gets married, you may give it to her if you wish.”

  He was so wonderful. Why couldn’t I have him?

  “Do I need to chaperone you two?” Jonas startled us both. He walked up to us, grinning. “Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt. Ethan, Catherine wanted me to give this to you to take to your mother.” He handed Ethan a thick worn Bible. “She said she found some information in it on previous births and deaths and wanted Clarissa to look at it. She left a letter just inside.”

  “All right, I’ll take it to her,” Ethan said, putting the Bible inside the carriage and checking on Lillie.

  Jonas left us, and I struggled to find words. His last words had been that I could keep his family necklace and give it to Lillie when she herself married. I touched the necklace again. “I’ll take good care of this, I promise. I won’t let anyone else have it except for Lillie when she’s ready. I won’t lose it.”

  “Oh, Madeline. I don’t blame you for the loss of the ring. You couldn’t help it. Since Jeff has it, that means he must have stolen it from you. It must have been the day of your accident. Do you remember anything else about that day?”

  “Unfortunately, no.” I still hadn’t been able to remember anything about my accident that caused the memory loss.

  “Please, don’t blame yourself. If anything, it’s my fault…for not taking better care of you. I shouldn’t have let you go into town without a male chaperone. I could have prevented this whole thing.” He looked away, seemingly disgusted with himself.

  I had at one time blamed him for the same thing, but I had recently come to realize that it wasn’t his fault, and I had forgiven myself for thinking that it was. “Ethan,” I said softly, touching his arm again and keeping it there. “Don’t blame yourself for that. You couldn’t know what the future held. You couldn’t keep me locked in the house all day every day in order to protect me, no more than I could have locked you away and prevented you from going to war. It’s not possible to avoid all pain. I certainly don’t blame you. Once I regain my memory about the accident, or we ever find Jefferson again, we’ll figure out what happened, and we’ll get the Wellington ring back.”

  “How did you get to be so smart and so caring?” He smiled, but his smile faded and turned to desire. He looked like he wanted to kiss me, and I wanted to kiss him back, but we abstained. Instead, he took my hand off of his arm and held it.

  I cleared my throat and blinked. “I learned an awful lot from my former husband.”

  Chapter 22

  The Grape Arbor

  I continued to have occasional vomiting in the mornings. I began to wonder if I had an ongoing illness or if something I ate every morning made me sick. By the time I finished my gardening chores, I always felt better, so I didn’t mention it to anyone. I didn’t want Ethan to keep Lillie from me, so I especially didn’t want to mention it to him.

  I began to develop a close friendship with Catherine. She wasn’t too much older than I was, about 8 years. She’d had Ginny when she was 17. She was a lot younger than Clarissa, by about 15 years. We had a lot in common, in that we endured a lot of hardship. She told me all about her struggles since the war, with her husband George dying in the war, trying to raise a child on her own, and trying to keep the plantation running in Bellwood. Her husband’s brother Charles had also died during the war. He’d been much older, and his son, George’s nephew, Charles II, or Charlie, was the one who came to live there with his wife and their baby boy. She’d hated to leave her home, for all the memories she’d shared with George, and yet that was the very reason she needed to get away from it. She couldn’t stop grieving about George because every room she walked into reminded her of something to do with him, something he said or did, places they had been intimate.

  Catherine confided that she liked this plantation very much and was so thankful for us letting her and Ginny come to live on it. “Clarissa had wanted me to come live with her, which I did consider, but when you asked me to come here, I took you up on your offer instead. I felt obligated to you because I had not acted upon my suspicions of seeing you at that party and of not telling anyone, if indeed it had been you. There’s also a lot going on over there at Wellington with Ethan being married to Elizabeth and expecting a child now, and I felt Ginny and I would be an added burden to my sister. Besides, I didn’t want to be too close to my sister, for fear we’d get on each other’s nerves after a while, if you know what I mean.” We both laughed. “I think it’s different for sisters. How is it for you, living with your brother?”

  “Oh, it’s been fine. We get along great. I’d always followed him around when we were children, and while it got on his nerves back then, he’s learned to live with my adoration of him,” I said, laughing again. “I’ve been really thankful for him allowing me to stay here, as well, after I had to leave Wellington.” I re-told her my whole story in more detail about the accident and losing my memory. She did say that Clarissa had told her about it briefly on the day she found me in Chester.

  “We all thought you were dead, Madeline. I’m so glad you’re not. It could’ve been a whole lot worse.”

  I had to agree with her there. The worst, besides death, would have been if I had never gotten my memory back, had never remembered Ethan, and had married Jefferson. I told her how much I enjoyed getting my memory back and falling in love with Ethan all over again, that we had planned to be re-married, and how it all came crumbling down when Elizabeth was found to be with child. “And so I came to live with my brother. It’s been so hard, being apart from Ethan. I love him so.”

  She hugged me and let me cry it out. I hadn’t cried since I first arrived here at my childhood home, since the first week when I’d cried myself to sleep every night. “Seeing him every day is both wonderful and tortuous at the same time. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I don’t think it will ever get easier,” I said between sobs.

  “It will get easier, in time,” Catherine reassured. “I know when George was in the war and away from me and Ginny, I felt a great loss, as well, and wondered if he’d make it back home. You don’t know how I grieved when he didn’t come back.” It was her turn to weep. I pulled out my handkerchief and handed it to her. “And yet time has made the pain lessen. That’s all you need is time,” she said, wiping her tears away with the handkerchief. “I realize Ethan is not dead, but it’s still a great loss for you. I can see how difficult it would be, seeing the person you loved every day but not be able to be with him.”

  I nodded. “You and Jonas have the same misfortune of having lost someone you loved during the war. He fell in love with a nurse during the war, only to find out she was killed when he went back for her after the war was over.”

  “Oh, how terrible,” she commiserated.

  We talked about Ginny and how she was coping with the loss of her father. She was becoming a big help to me by playing with Lillie while I was gardening, since Lillie was becoming more mobile. They would play hide-and-seek behind the bushes, look at ladybugs, try to catch butterflies, and have tea parties. The two of them got along very well. I enjoyed hearing Lillie laugh. Some afternoons, when Jonas had some spare time, he began teaching Ginny how to ride a horse. She was thrilled with that.

  I continued working on my grape vines, training them to trail up and over the poles, the way it used to be. The lilies and roses I planted were beside the grapes, and I found some old bricks to place around them to keep out the weeds. At the herb garden, on the back side of the laundry house, I placed the lavender and sage from Clarissa around the new plantings I had obtained in town. The basil was already getting big and could be smelled long before you reached it, its heady smell wafting in the breeze. The path leading to the grape arbor was lined with short shrubs.

&nb
sp; I asked Jonas and William to make a bench for us to have under the grape arbor so we could have a place to relax in the shade of the grapes, once they got full enough. They made one out of an old broken bench found in the stables. I wanted to recreate what was there before the war changed it all. There had been a bench there before…

  Back when Ethan and I were adolescents, Ethan and I shared our first kiss at this very spot. This was before Hannah’s water escapade that day at his plantation. We were 14 and 17 – Ethan had not yet turned 18 but would soon. He and I had always been close friends, but one sweltering summer day, that all changed. Ethan came over by boat, and since Jonas had gone somewhere with our father, it was just me and Ethan. He wanted to take a swim and started pulling his clothes off, but he was turning into a man – something I had begun to notice a lot at the time – and I was embarrassed to look at his manly body without clothing on. When he was down to his underwear, he tried to coax me to undress and join him by cooling off in the water, but I refused. I was becoming a woman, as well, and I didn’t want him to see me close to naked. We weren’t children anymore.

  “Ethan, I’m 14 now. I’m not allowed to do unladylike things such as that,” I’d said, forcing myself to turn my face away from gazing upon his body.

  “Aw, come on. Since when did you turn into a lady?” he teased. He jumped in the water and got completely wet, head to toe. He disappeared for a moment under the water and then reappeared on the surface and started swimming.

  I watched him swim from where I stood on the rocky shore under the trees, fanning myself like I’d seen my mother and the other ladies do. I held my head high like I was better than him, more mature than him, but still stole glances his way as he floated on his back and gazed up at the blue sky. I envied his carefree amusement.

  “Are you coming? The water is very fine,” he asked in a deep voice. His voice had been progressively deepening for a while, and he sounded like a man as well as looked like one.