Wellington Cross (Wellington Cross Series)

by Lane, Cheryl

  When I felt William kiss the top of my head, I pulled my arms from around him, looked at him briefly, and then sat straight again, looking down towards the dark river in the distance. I didn’t want him to think this hugging was going to become a habit; I simply needed him at the moment. I’d have to make sure it didn’t happen again. I wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

  I wiped my tears. “I’m sorry, forgive me,” I said.

  He withdrew his arm from around my back and produced a handkerchief, which he handed to me. I wiped my tears and blew my nose.

  “He hates me now,” I said.

  “Believe me, he doesn’t hate you. He still loves you and I suspect always will.”

  “He must feel betrayed then.”

  “And probably jealous…similar to how you feel about him living with Elizabeth. You deserve to be happy, Madeline.”

  I regained my composure somewhat and took a deep breath and then let it all out shakily. He was right; I did want happiness, but didn’t know if I would ever have it again.

  “I’m pleased that you decided to marry me,” he said. “When did you make your decision?”

  “When Elizabeth slapped me in front of everyone.” I touched my cheek, remembering the shock of it and the pain. “I knew I had to make a quick decision or things would get most unpleasant in a hurry. I’m sorry to catch you off guard like that.”

  “No apology necessary. I recovered from the shock fairly quickly. I hope you didn’t mind me joining you in the parlor.”

  “Not at all; it was most appropriate. It was comforting to have you there beside me, for I thought I might faint.”

  “I’m glad I could help.” He touched my slapped cheek lightly. “Do you need something for your face?”

  “No, she hurt my pride more than my face, but thank you.”

  “What about something to drink or perhaps your wrap? You left that inside in your haste to follow Ethan.”

  “A hot drink would be nice, and yes, I do feel cold, but I can go inside with you.”

  “Do you feel up to it?” he asked, helping me stand up.

  A sudden wave of dizziness hit me, and I realized that getting upset was upsetting my baby and my body. “No, I don’t, actually,” I told him, grabbing his arm.

  He helped me to sit back down. “Stay here and I’ll go get you some hot tea and your wrap. Do you want to wear my coat in the meantime?” He started pulling off his jacket before I could answer. “Here, put this on. I’ll return shortly.”

  He draped his coat over my shoulders and then went up the hill towards the manor. I felt better with the warmth of his coat, and leaned back to rest against the cold bench. I closed my eyes and tried not to picture Ethan’s shocked face when I had first told everyone in the room that the baby was William’s and that we were betrothed. I’d never seen him look so hurt. I hated myself for hurting him. Would he ever get over it? I opened my eyes and wiped them, trying to erase that memory.

  “Madeline?” It was Hannah and her husband, Henry, coming up the hill towards me. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.” I didn’t know if she had heard I was confined and betrothed, but if she did, she didn’t mention it.

  “It’s a beautiful evening for a stroll, isn’t it?” she asked.

  “Yes…yes, it is,” I agreed. It would be nice if I was only out here for a casual stroll. Hannah and Henry left me then, continuing their leisurely walk up the hill.

  William returned shortly with my mother’s white shawl and a cup of hot tea. I drank it slowly, savoring its warmth. William sat back down beside me.

  “William? Will you and Ethan still be friends after all of this? I had not given that much thought before now. I’d hate for your friendship to be severed.” Could your husband-who-was be friends with your husband-to-be?

  “We’ll probably have to keep our distance for a while, but I think in time, he’ll come around and be friendly again. I hope so, anyway. He couldn’t be so selfish as to not wish you happiness, Madeline. After all, he does have Elizabeth. You deserve to have someone, too.”

  I nodded, thinking about that. Ethan had wished me every happiness, but I doubted he really meant it. Was he really happy, after all, with Elizabeth?

  “In addition, he actually did have relations with Elizabeth, whereas he only thinks you had relations with me, when in fact you didn’t. That has to count for something, help settle your mind a little.”

  That was something I hadn’t thought of before. “Thank you,” I said quietly. “It does.”

  I finished my tea, and we headed back up to the manor. As soon as I came inside, Ginny and a young boy came over to me, bringing Lillie.

  “Lillie! How’s my precious girl?” I handed William my tea cup and took Lillie in my arms and hugged her tightly. She squealed with delight.

  “She wanted to come down and say ‘goodnight’ to you,” Ginny said.

  “Well, I’m glad you found me.” It felt wonderful holding my little girl…Ethan’s little girl…in my arms; it was comforting, even more than William had been. She was part of Ethan, and so I still had a part of him that would always be with me, not only in our Lillie but in the baby I was carrying inside. Instead of thinking of all of this as an inconvenience and a problem, I would forever be grateful for another part of Ethan to hold close to me and to take care of. I only wished I could share it with him instead of lying about it.

  I handed Lillie back to Ginny and looked around. I didn’t see Ethan or Elizabeth anywhere, for which I was glad. I was ready to leave. Before leaving, however, I had to talk with more people who wanted to congratulate me and William, including Clarissa.

  “Is it true, dear? You’re going to marry Mr. Brown?” She looked concerned rather than happy.

  “Yes, it’s true,” I said simply, not wanting to delve into any details. I feared she could see the deception in my eyes, but she gave me a hug and wished me the best. She also went into the study and brought back a wrapped parcel of cotton thread for me to use, which I thanked her for.

  On the carriage ride back to Magnolia Grove, Jonas asked me about the rumors. “Are you two betrothed?” he asked. He and Catherine sat across from William and me.

  “Yes, we are,” I said.

  “Well, let me congratulate you both,” he said, smiling, reaching across to kiss me on the cheek and then to shake William’s hand. “I had no idea you two were keeping such secrets from me. Did you know about this Catherine?” he asked, looking at her.

  “I had talked to Madeline about it, yes,” she said, smiling weakly at me. She was probably wondering when I had made my decision, just as William had wondered.

  “I’m always the last to know. When do you plan to wed?”

  I looked at William uncomfortably, and he responded to the question first. “We have not decided the date as of yet. Whatever suits Madeline is fine with me,” he said diplomatically. I smiled.

  “Well, that’s wonderful news. Perhaps we could have a double wedding in June, hmm?”

  “Uh, no,” I said quickly. “It has to be before March. That’s when the baby is due.”

  “Baby? You’re having another baby, Madeline?”

  Apparently he had not heard that part of the rumor. “Yes, I am.”

  “Oh, my dear….” He pulled both my hands up to his lips and kissed them, as Sambo pulled the carriage into our long drive and stopped the horses at the stables. He jumped out of the carriage and helped me out. “Congratulations, sweetheart,” he said, kissing me on the cheek. His expression was somewhat concerned.

  The next morning, I got up early and went down into the dining room. Jonas was already there alone, reading a newspaper. He poured me a cup of coffee, which he had already made.

  “Madeline, is the baby really William’s?” He’d been around William too much; he was getting bold.

  “Why would you ask that?” I picked up the cup of coffee and tried to act nonchalant.

  “Because I know y
ou and Ethan love each other very much, and I know you stayed over there for a while before coming here. You said the baby was due in March…that would put your date of conception in June – the time you were at Wellington Cross.”

  I had a very astute brother. He had figured out the dates. “Yes, but William also arrived here in June, if you will recall.” I was beating around the bush, not wanting to tell him the truth but also not comfortable with lying to him. Catherine knew the truth; it seemed only appropriate that my brother did, as well, so they wouldn’t have to keep secrets from one another. Perhaps I should tell him.

  “That’s true enough,” he said, “but you two didn’t know each other and barely spoke for the first couple of months he was here. I know you, Madeline. You would not have been intimate with someone you barely knew. And besides that, you have not looked at another man but Ethan since we were kids. It is Ethan’s, isn’t it?” His eyes glared at me.

  I took a deep breath. “Yes, it is. But he can’t know the truth, Jonas, please don’t tell him. William offered to marry me and tell everyone it’s his child, to save Ethan’s reputation. If it were known that I was having Ethan’s child, Ethan would be called a philanderer, and not only that, he would also not be able to live with the guilt of confining me and yet not be able to take care of his baby.”

  “Why don’t you let him decide for himself? He loves you, and even though Elizabeth is also having his child, you two also have Lillie together. That’s two versus one. Don’t you think he might annul his marriage to her and choose you over her if he knew the truth?”

  “I honestly don’t know, but the whole reason he chose Elizabeth over me in the first place was because she was having his child and he wanted to take care of it. He can’t have two wives, Ethan, and he won’t send away that child simply to marry me; he wouldn’t do that.”

  “Then why are you making him abandon his child that you’re carrying?” It was a valid question, one I had not considered. “Do you realize how mad he will be if he were to find out your child is his and that you lied to him?”

  “Yes, I know he would be angry, but he’s angry anyway. There’s no decision that I could make that would make him happy. We didn’t plan for this baby; it just happened.”

  “That’s why the Good Book says it’s better to marry first…before consummating.”

  “Yes, but I was married to him first, Jonas. He was mine first. He was my best friend growing up, I followed him around, and then we fell in love. You said yourself – and rightly so – that I have never looked at another man but him. I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him.” Tears formed and trickled down both my cheeks.

  Jonas stood up and knelt down beside me and took me in his arms. I cried, once more, over the loss of Ethan, my beloved. I’d cried a lot lately and been held by so many people, and yet nothing would take the pain away.

  I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath, and he stayed there beside me. “Madeline, you have to tell him the truth. Don’t let him make another mistake. Don’t decide for him. At least consider it before you start making wedding plans, will you?” I nodded in agreement. “If, however, you do decide to marry William, I will support you and lie for you, and you are welcome to live here with us. This is your home, too.”

  “Thank you, Jonas.” He kissed me on the forehead as Catherine came in serving hot eggs and biscuits.

  After breakfast, I told William in private that I had told Jonas about Ethan being the father – actually that he had guessed it – so that he would not have to pretend in front of him. Therefore, all the adults in this household knew the truth about Ethan being the father of my baby.

  Chapter 29

  A Forgotten Memory

  After the ball, I began to have recurring dreams, and I would wake up to find Catherine hovering over me, saying I was calling out for Ethan again. I’d be drenched with sweat and have a headache. One such morning, a week after the harvest ball, I’d had another dream about Ethan. They were always the same…I was in the garden here at Magnolia Grove with Lillie, playing hide and seek around the grape arbor. My new baby was lying on a blanket in the shade of the arbor, cooing happily. I would look for Ethan, but not be able to find him. I would call out for him, but he never answered. Elizabeth would show up instead, carrying a baby in her arms, and she would take Lillie by the hand and guide her away. Lillie would cry and look back at me. Ethan would then show up and pick up my baby – our baby – from the blanket, look at me, take Lillie’s other hand, and then they would all walk away from me. The baby would start crying. I would scream for Ethan, but he ignored me, while Lillie and the baby still cried. William would then appear and pull my arm away, leading me in the opposite direction, towards the Great House. That’s usually when I woke up, still looking back at Ethan and crying out to him and our two children. This time, however, my dream changed.

  After being pulled away, I turned around and looked into Edward’s eyes instead of William’s. Ethan’s father was dressed in a Union officer’s uniform. The scenery had changed, and we were at Wellington Cross instead of Magnolia Grove. He pulled me by the arm and led me up the hill, into the manor and into his study, where he showed me some papers, which I couldn’t see clearly. He reached into a drawer of his desk and pulled out a gun and pointed it straight at me. I screamed and woke up with a jolt.

  Catherine was sitting beside me, holding my hand. “Another dream about Ethan?” she asked. I nodded. I didn’t want to tell her about the last part of this dream before I figured out what it meant. She wiped my forehead off with a wet cloth, and gave me a glass of water. “Do you need anything else?”

  “No. Thank you, Catherine.”

  “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing, Madeline? It’s not good for the baby or you for you to be so upset that you’re having bad dreams every night.”

  She was right. Even though I had made a decision to marry William, I was not happy about it. “I realize that. If I could change my dreams, I would.”

  “Do you want to talk about them?”

  I took a deep breath and sat up in bed, propping my pillow up against the headboard. “Basically, Lillie and I are playing hide and seek while my new baby plays happily on a blanket. Then Elizabeth comes along, holding a baby, and then Ethan comes along and picks up our new baby – and they both take Lillie and the new baby away from me. Then William appears and leads me away in the other direction. I start screaming for Ethan…because I so desperately don’t want to be separated from him or my babies and I don’t want to go with William. I’m so scared Ethan will take my baby away, and also I honestly don’t know if I can marry William or not.”

  She stroked my arm. “My dear. I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this. You should be happily married and enjoying this new baby’s progress with Ethan. Perhaps you should tell him the truth.”

  She was the second person in this house to tell me that within a week’s time. I supposed if I was so miserable, then perhaps I should tell him. “Perhaps,” I said.

  She left the room, and I began to think about the other part of my dream, the part about Ethan’s father, and I suddenly remembered something that happened before my accident, before the amnesia. I had been in Edward’s study one afternoon after we had married, as Ethan had asked me to retrieve a book for him. He told me the very place it would be, back behind the desk, on a low shelf of the bookcase. As I reached for the book I had been looking for, something caught the corner of my eye, and I turned and saw a cloth of dark blue material hanging out of a small chest beside the desk. It looked like the sleeve of a coat. I lifted the lid to put the sleeve back inside when I was surprised to find a Union Army frock coat with shiny gold buttons. I was astonished. I picked the coat up, and noted that it had double rows of gold buttons and gold epaulettes on the shoulders. It was the frock coat of a Union officer. I wondered why it was in Edward’s office.

  Underneath the coat in the bottom of the chest were papers. I looked at the door t
o make sure no one was close by, and seeing no one, I picked up the papers to see what they were. I was shocked to see Captain Edward Wellington’s name across the top and General Ulysses S. Grant’s name at the bottom. They were dispatch papers, telegraphs and correspondence papers from General Grant to Edward during the war. My mind went crazy with the idea that Edward had been a traitor. I knew I had to tell Ethan. I took one of the papers and placed it inside the book for Ethan, and placed the rest of the papers and frock coat back in the chest. As I stood up to leave the room, I heard hobbling footsteps, and Edward walked through the door.

  “Madeline?” he inquired. “What are you doing in here?”

  “Oh, I was just getting a book for Ethan,” I said nervously, holding up the book, plastering a fake smile.

  “Is that all?” He looked anxious.

  “Yes, sir,” I replied, fleeing the room as quickly as I could.

  Finally, I had a memory from the past that my mind had kept hidden. It was no wonder I felt uneasy around Edward, and that he had acted strangely around me, as well. He must have suspected what I’d found. I would have to talk to Ethan now and tell him about this. I never got a chance to tell him the day I found them, for I had to take the carriage…somewhere. That part was still foggy.

  A few weeks later, we celebrated Thanksgiving Day. During the war, President Abraham Lincoln had declared that Thanksgiving Day would be on the fourth Thursday of the month of November. No one worked that day, and we had a small celebration at Magnolia Grove. I helped Catherine fix oysters that Jonas had gathered by the river, a wild turkey that William had recently shot, along with yams, broccoli, butternut squash, and pumpkin pie.

  We each said something we were thankful for, and when it was my turn, I hesitated. I wanted to say I was grateful for God giving me another child with Ethan, but that wouldn’t have been proper. So I shortened it by saying I was thankful for children, for Lillie and my unborn baby, and for the family I had at the table. Catherine, who sat beside me, squeezed my hand.