I knew it was her that put it somewhere because I’d seen it in her hand earlier that day. When Dad woke up from his sleep around mid-afternoon, Viyza told him that my children had lost the key; therefore she would not be able to lock the front door when he went to the fields that night. She told him she was going to take her sons and stay with her family until I found the key, and then she went off, leaving Dad furious with me and my children for causing her to leave.
With Dad going into an instant rage I frantically searched for the key. I knew it was somewhere upstairs because that’s where I’d seen her with it, and I finally found the key hidden high up in a gap in the kitchen wall, too high to have been put there by a child!
No matter how much I tried to reason with Dad, or tell him that she had done this on purpose, he refused to listen, ending up with him brutally attacking me in front of my terrified children, and his own daughter, who by this time were cowering in the corner of the room.
As I covered myself from his blows I heard Tarek scream, then he launched himself at Dad, waving his arms and kicking out at him while screaming at him to leave his mother alone. Dad immediately turned on Tarek, cursing him for having the nerve to stand up to him, slapping him and grabbing him by the scruff of his neck as he dragged him out of the room.
I ran after Dad and a struggle took place over Tarek, but with all my other children now hanging on to me in fear, Dad managed to win and drag my son downstairs and out onto the street, where he took the key I’d recently found, locking the door behind him from the inside.
Dad and I continued to struggle while he dragged me back upstairs and threw me into the room; we were all sobbing and shaking with fear and I was terrified Dad would attack the rest of my children; he was acting like a caged animal and his rifle was never far away from him. Dad carried on ranting like a madman, screaming at us, telling us if any of us opened the door for Tarek, he would kill us all. Telling me he wasn’t going to the fields that night; he was staying home to make sure my bastard of a son never stepped foot in the village again. As soon as Dad left the room I opened the window and looked outside. Tarek was hiding behind the stable wall. My heart started to slowly break as soon as I heard his voice.
“Mother, are you OK?” he called out quietly.
“Yes, son, we are fine! Quickly, come under the window quickly!” Tears were pouring down my face but I tried to stay calm, I couldn’t believe what was happening or what I was about to ask my ten year old son to do.
I reached down my top; this was where I kept anything I needed to hide from Dad. I pulled out all the coins I had, it wasn’t much at all.
“Listen carefully, I need you to do something very brave, I know you can do it because you are strong, and brave, and you have shown me just how brave you are.” I threw the money out the window.
“Take this money and quickly make your way to the main road, stop the first jeep you see going to Dhamar and find Aunty Yasmin’s house and stay with her, she will look after you, can you do that?” It was as though his answer took forever and I could see Tarek looked worried.
“I can’t leave you alone with him, I will get help and come back for you!” he promised, tears starting to form in his eyes.
“No, no, you stay with your Aunty, I promise I will follow you in a few days, I promise; I just need to get some things ready first, please promise me you will go now and take care of yourself. I love you so much.” At this point I could hear the other children behind me crying out because their brother was leaving and I burst into tears.
“I promise you we will be OK but I need you to do this for me, please!” I begged; tears were pouring from my eyes but I was trying to stay strong. Tarek promised me he would go, and he started picking up the coins, but as I was talking Dad came back into the room, and when he saw me at the window he went crazy!
“Is that that bastard son of yours? Close that window now!” he screamed at me, but defiantly I hung out the window as far as I could.
“Run, as fast as you can, run and don’t stop until you get there, I love you so much my son,” I shouted after him as I watched him run away from the window, and out of my sight.
My heart felt as though it was crumbling into a thousand pieces while Dad tugged at me, pulling me in from the window, and pinning me to the ground with his knees pressed on my chest, all the while cursing my child.
“Who does he think he is? I feed the bastard, take care of him, and he thinks he can just turn on me! He will never enter this village again; I will make sure of that!”
All of a sudden he let go of me and stormed out of the room, and down the stairs. I felt my heart fall into my stomach thinking he was going after my son. I scrambled to my feet and ran behind him, screaming at him to stop, but stopped myself when I realised he had gone next door to my grandparents’ house.
He banged on the door until Farouse looked out the window; she herself had been staying at Granddad’s because of problems in her marriage. Then he started shouting at her that if they allowed my son entry to their home, ever again, there would be consequences. Gran followed Dad back to our house to try and reason with him, and get him to go after Tarek, or at least allow her to send someone after him and return him to her house, stating that he was still a child and shouldn’t be left alone. Dad was having none of it, sticking by his word, that my son was no longer welcome in the village.
I’d spent many years in Yemen, and all through those years I’d had tragic, terrifying, and horrific things happen to me and my sisters, but that night at Dad’s house was by far the worse night of my whole existence.
My heart told me that my son had made it safely to his Auntie’s house. I knew he was strong, brave, clever and determined, but there was that niggling thought in the back of my mind that kept reminding me of the dangers that were in the hills and mountains that led to the main road. Tarek would have to walk many miles through dangerous hills and mountains that hid deadly snakes, scorpions, and spiders!
He had left a few hours before the sun went down, which meant he would be walking in the dark; he had no light, he had no food, or water, and he was alone. Being without my child was something I couldn’t handle, because besides my sister, my children were the only reason I’d put up with years of abuse at the hands of their father, and mine.
If my child had survived his journey, I knew I could never allow what happened this day to ever happen again. I couldn’t allow Dad, or any other human being, take my children away from me. I made up my mind that night that I was going to run away, I just needed to do it safely so not to put my other children a risk.
True to his word, Dad stayed home that night. I didn’t sleep, but neither did he. I could hear him marching up and down the stairs to the roof, and back down to his room. All night I lay awake trying to devise a plan to escape, but as yet I couldn’t think of one. All I needed to do was get to Rada’a, and from there I could get a lift to any city or town, but I couldn’t work out how to get there.
Nobody would give me a lift out of the village without Dad or Granddad’s permission, and if I tried to walk out of the village I would be seen and caught before I ever made it to the road. I would be killed and my children would grow up without a mother. I had no money left and I knew it would be difficult, but I also knew my mind was made up; I was leaving, all I needed now was a safe plan.
As soon as the sun came up I made breakfast, I wasn’t going to give Dad any idea of what I was up to, so I had to try and stick to the routine. Dad had his breakfast and went to sleep and soon after that Viyza returned with her children. She was so smug and happy when she found out Dad had kicked Tarek out.
I decided I couldn’t stay in the house with her and told her I was taking my children and going to stay at my grandparents’ for the day. On any other day I wouldn’t have done that, but my cousin Farouse had been staying with Gran for a few days and today was her last day, so Gran had already asked me to go and have dinner with them.
Gran could see how un
happy I was; if it was just me Dad had beaten she would have stayed quiet, but Gran was sometimes kind to my children and she didn’t like seeing very young children get hurt. While I sat crying with Gran and Farouse they tried to reassure me that Granddad would talk to Dad once he got back from Sanaa and sort things out to get my son back. Granddad was in Sanaa having talks with Farouse’s husband over his treatment of my cousin, collecting money so that Farouse’s husband could have his wife back. I knew by now that my Grandfather wouldn’t care about us.
I didn’t tell them I’d sent my son to my sister’s; as far as they knew Tarek had gone back to his family in his father’s village. I loved Farouse with all my heart but since she got married we had barely seen each other, I think in her whole married life I only ever saw her at certain gatherings, when she was permitted to come. I couldn’t tell her about my plans to take my children and run away.
It was early afternoon when Dad woke up. I was still over Granddad’s house sat with Farouse, Gran and a couple of other female relatives who had come to see Farouse because she was leaving to go back to her husband later that evening. All of a sudden, Izzy came running upstairs with her little brother Nasser who was just over two years old. Nasser was crying and she was scared because, she said, Nasser had been fighting with my sister Ismahan, and Abdulla had gone to tell his mother!
Nasser was still weak, he had been since his accident, and Ismahan was bigger and stronger than he was, but nobody was allowed to touch Viyza’s children, or argue with them, especially when she was sewing. Even though they were just children fighting, and nobody had been hurt, I knew there was going to be trouble. I braced myself for what was to come, but I could never have imagined what was about to happen! Nasser had calmed down very quickly after I kissed and cuddled him, and had started playing again with the children in the room, when suddenly Dad barged into the room; Viyza had woken him up to tell him.
“Where’s that little bastard?” he raged, his eyes searching the room until he spotted Nasser, who looked terrified. “How dare you touch my daughter?” he yelled, heading towards him. I instantly jumped up but couldn’t stop Dad as he lashed out and punched Nasser in his face!
I reached out, grabbed Nasser and managed to stop him from hitting the ground from Dad’s punch, but as I looked back around I saw Dad once again raise his hand to hit Nasser, who was by this time screaming in pain and fear. I could hear the women telling Dad to stop, but by that time something inside me erupted, I was in pure rage, the volcano inside me that I’d tried so hard to keep under control finally erupting. I looked at the face of the monster stood in front of me and I flipped!
Dad had always been a chain smoker, who walked around with a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, and that day was no exception. As Dad tried to reach out to hit my son again I shielded him behind me, and then for the first time in my life, I turned on my father.
With all my strength I grabbed him by the neck and pushed him away from my child, pinning him up against the wall by his neck, with my other hand I flattened the cigarette against his face, and then yanked it from his mouth. While I stared in his face I could see his utter shock and disbelief that I was doing what I was, he was taken by surprise. With gritted teeth, I threatened him.
“Don’t you EVER touch my children again!” But just as I finished my words, Dad punched me full force in my stomach, and as I fell to my knees. I heard my children scream, and when I turned my head, I saw them run towards me.
“Stay back! Get away from me!” I yelled at them, which must have been the first time I’d ever yelled at them like that. Izzy grabbed her siblings and immediately pulled them back as they cried out to me in terror, and then I saw Farouse pull them back to protect them. I could hear Dad cursing and threatening me, telling me he was going to send all my children back to their family, take them away from me! Knowing my children were being kept away from me by Farouse, I was ready to fight. I immediately pulled my flip-flop off my foot, and jumped up.
The worst humiliation for any Arabic man is a shoe in the face, and Dad was about to get mine! I jumped up and slapped him full force across his face with my shoe, then as my children cheered on, I started throwing punches at him, some missing, and some hitting. I’d never been in a fight before, not where I’d fought back like this, and I didn’t know how to fight, but I did remember all of the things that had been done to me in the past, and now I was fighting for my children!
All I could think about was what Dad had done to Tarek the day before, and what he had just done to Nasser.
I knew he was much stronger than I was; however the fact I was fighting back had taken him by surprise! He had become accustomed to me sitting back and taking abuse from him; this was a side neither he, nor anyone else, including myself, had seen before.
I could hear the women screaming in horror, shouting at me to stop what I was doing, but it was a distant sound, there was something else going on in my head, something I could never explain.
Both Dad and I were throwing punches, but I couldn’t feel his, and somehow I managed to grab hold of his collar, then I tugged his head towards me and head-butted him as hard as I could! I don’t know what damage it did to him, but the blow dazed me a little; however I continued to fight. I managing to grab him and wrestle him to the floor where I jumped on him scratching at his face, slapping him, punching him.
I just wanted to hurt him in any way possible; I could see the blood on his face but I didn’t stop. I could feel my heart beating in a very strange way, but again, I didn’t stop. I started screaming at him, telling him how much I hated him, and how I wouldn’t let him hurt my children like he had hurt me and my sisters in the past. Tears rolled down my face as I fought him, not from pain, but from another feeling, a feeling I couldn’t identify with. I could feel someone tugging at me from behind, and then I heard my grandmother’s voice begging me to stop.
“Muna, stop! Stop! That’s enough!” But I didn’t. They couldn’t pull me off him and we kept on fighting. Then Dad managed to put his hands around my neck and started squeezing.
I kept on clawing at his face but his grip got tighter and tighter, and I could feel myself struggling to breathe, but I carried on fighting. It felt as though the fight went on forever, but I refused to stop, until finally, all the women that were in the room dragged me off him.
Gran and Farouse held on tightly to me as I struggled to stand up, still lashing out with my arms, kicking out with my legs that felt like jelly, my heart was pounding.
Dad got up off the floor, blood all over his face; the look of evil in his eyes could not cover the humiliation he had just suffered at the hands of a woman who had dared to fight back! I knew if I ever fought back there would be a heavy price to pay, but Dad’s next words left me numb.
“Today, I’m going to kill you the same way I killed your mother!”
After that he rushed out of the room, but the words he had just threatened me with lingered behind him. For many, many years I’d known my father was capable of nasty, evil things, but the death of my mother was something he had always denied. I stood there in a daze, with what had just taken place between Dad and I, and now his words.
I’d always wondered what happened to my mother, but I’d never known what to believe. I’d thought maybe she did just disappear and run away from Dad. One thing I never believed until this day was that my father murdered her!
I was in a state of shock, a state of disbelief, when all of a sudden Farouse screamed when she saw Dad walked back into the room carrying his rifle aiming it straight at me. It had only been minutes since he left and I was still stood in the middle of the room trying to reassure my children that I was OK. Gran was still shouting at me for what I’d done, cursing me, telling me it was all over for me, telling me I would never be forgiven for attacking my father! When she saw Dad she jumped in front of me, placing herself between me and the gun, and for the first time in my life Gran stood up for me!
“You will have
to kill me first Ali, before you kill her!” she told him, spreading her arms out to protect me.
Dad looked at her as if to warn her to move, but when she refused he yelled at her, “Move! I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger! Now get out of my way!” But again Gran refused, standing her ground.
“Go ahead son, if you want the blood of your mother and daughter on your hands then so be it!” Dad realised she wasn’t moving.
“You foolish woman! You can’t protect her forever, she’s dead! Do you understand me, dead!”
With that he stormed out, leaving a room full of terrified women and children behind, but none of them were as terrified as I was.
Dad didn’t come back that afternoon, and for the rest of the day my children stayed close to me; they were terrified by what had taken place, and cuddled up close to me not wanting to leave my side, and there was no way I was letting them out of my sight!
Gran cursed me constantly all afternoon for what I did to Dad, she told me to thank my lucky stars Granddad was away in Sanaa, because he would have given me a beating too! Farouse was chuffed I’d given Dad what he had coming to him, and wished she could have joined in. She couldn’t stop smiling, and also got a telling off herself for encouraging my bad behaviour! However, everyone was missing the big picture.
A Father's Betrayal Page 36