According to Dad, he had killed my mother, and he was now going to kill me. I for one believed every word he had said! There was no way Dad would let me get away with humiliating him like that in front of all those women; I knew I had to act, and I had to act quickly.
Farouse was leaving to travel back to Sanaa later that afternoon, she told me she would be sure to inform Uncle Ahmed I was in danger, and ask him to come and help me. Although I appreciated her help, I knew I wasn’t going to hang around and wait for anyone to come to my rescue anymore. I asked her if she had any money she could give me, telling her I needed it to send to Tarek because he was all alone. Farouse gave me a little money, it wasn’t much but it would come in handy. Before she left she also went to Dad’s house to get my clothes.
Gran had gone and spoken with Dad beforehand, telling him that I was staying with her for a few days, she told him everyone needed to wait for Granddad to come home and sort out the mess I’d created. To me, this was the perfect opportunity to run away; with Granddad away, and us being away from Dad’s house, it was now or never. Later that evening, once Gran had gone to sleep and left us alone, I gathered my children together.
“Do you all want to go and find your brother, and escape all these horrible people?” I whispered.
“Yeah!” Their eyes lit up as they screeched with joy.
“OK! But you must listen to everything I tell you, everything, or we can’t go, and it’s not going to be easy.”
My children promised to listen and follow my instructions so I told them the plan of escape. They were just as eager as I was to escape the clutches of the monsters that made our lives a living hell! I sat them down and explained to them what was needed for us to escape. We would leave that night, taking the same journey I’d told their older brother to take; we would walk through the same hills and mountains until we came to the road. I told them the journey out of the house and the village would have to be silent, no matter how tired, hungry or thirsty they became, they couldn’t complain or cry.
Izzy would have to help me carry her younger brother if the others got tired so I could carry them. From the road we would make our way to the pick-up stop in Rada’a, where the cars gathered to take people to the towns and cities, where we would attempt to hitch a ride to Dhamar, to my sister’s house. Then, we would pick up Tarek and continue to Sanaa, to the Embassy.
That night I made the children sleep until early morning, when I knew the village would be quiet, and we would at least have a few hours lead before anyone found out we were missing. When the time came to wake them up they were as quiet as mice whilst I put on whatever clothes they could wear; I didn’t want to carry extra luggage unless absolutely necessary. I strapped Nasser tightly to my back before we made our way downstairs, then quietly out of the house, before I pulled the door shut behind us. It was eerily quiet as we quickly made our way out of the village, holding hands and hurrying, but not running, while I constantly checked around to make sure no one was watching us!
Although it was dark, we knew our way out of the village and towards the hills that took the short cut to the road, but once out of the village I couldn’t make out which way to go: I was stuck! It was too dark to see properly, and each hill looked the same, I’d never taken the route before, I’d only ever left the village by jeep on the dirt road!
We quickly made our way towards the dirt road so that we could follow the track that would lead us to the main road. This route would add ages onto our journey, but at least we wouldn’t get lost! We walked for hours, staying way out of sight of any vehicles that would come along the road, but close enough for me to know we were on the right path. I didn’t want us to be seen before we got to Rada’a town, we had a better chance of blending in once in the town, the last thing we needed was someone spotting us leaving a village on foot.
Izzy and I took it in turns carrying Nasser who slept on our backs most of the way; she wanted so much to show me that she was there to help me, but I could see in her eyes how terrified she was. Sadig and Dobia, although tired, didn’t complain, and when Izzy carried Nasser, I would take it in turns to carry them. It was an extremely hard journey, we constantly had to look out for, and dodge, snakes and scorpions, and with every step I took I wondered how or even if, my son had made this journey by himself.
As we walked through the darkness I would catch myself silently searching the bushes and space around us with my eyes, praying to myself, that I wouldn’t come across a body.
We were still walking as the sun came up, and I became nervous that we would get caught, so I took the decision that instead of going to Rada’a town, we would go straight to the main road and try and stop a jeep further up on the main road. We weren’t too far from the road, and my feelings were, if anyone was looking for us, they would go to the pick-up stop in Rada’a.
Just before we got to the road I stopped and put my sharsharf on, and gave the children what food and water we had. We got to the main road early morning, and by that time there were loads of trucks and jeeps already on the road, and luckily for us there were a few parked up. Usually, it would be a male who would approach the jeep to discuss transport, but I had no choice. With my veil down, and my children by my side, I approached a man sat in his jeep.
“Are any of these jeeps going to Dhamar?” I asked, as casually as I could.
Without even looking at me the man pointed to another jeep. “That one.” We hurried over and I approached the man sat behind the wheel.
“Are you going to Dhamar?”
The man turned and looked at us. “How many of you?” he asked.
“Me and four children.” I was nervous, but I tried not to show it in my voice as I waiting for him to ask about my husband, but he didn’t.
“We are leaving now, so climb up!” he ordered, before shouting out to the crowd of men stood at the side of the road.
Not believing our luck I quickly bundled my children into the jeep, completely taking over the back seat as we squeezed together. “Dhamar! Dhamar!” The driver shouted out until the jeep filled up with men. I’d paid the driver what he wanted and we were off to Dhamar; the children slept all the way there, they were exhausted. I kept my veil down throughout the journey so not to attract any attention from the men that filled the back of the jeep, and who I’m sure were wondering why I was travelling alone!
Once in Dhamar we were dropped off in the market; I had no clue where Abdul’s house was, but once I asked a shop keeper he quickly pointed me in the right direction, as Abdul was a well-known government figure. It was midday when we finally arrived at Yas’s door; the children were hot and tired, and they hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since early morning. I banged on the door, half expecting someone from the village to be waiting for us inside!
When Yas’s oldest son Amar opened the door, his eyes lit up, “Mother! Mother! It’s Auntie Muna!” he shouted, running back inside full of excitement, leaving us to follow.
Yas came rushing to the door. “Oh my God! You look knackered! Who did you come with?” she asked, looking behind us, but I ignored her question.
“Please tell me Tarek is here?” I begged, my eyes started to fill up with tears, but just as I finished asking her the question, Tarek came running towards me.
“Mother! You made it!” he squealed in delight, running towards me with his arms open wide. I fell to my knees and held on to my son, we were both crying with joy as I kissed him and thanked God for keeping him safe for me. Those two nights I’d spent away from him, not knowing whether he was dead or alive, wasn’t something I ever wanted to go through again. I knew what I needed to do, what I wanted to do, and now that I’d taken those first steps into securing our freedom, nothing, and nobody, was going to hold me back!
Abdul was at work when we arrived, so while Yas and I fed the children, I quickly brought her up to date on what had happened over the past few days. She was shocked, but proud of me for finally standing up to Dad. She was horrified when I told her of D
ad’s threats towards me!
After we fed the children, she sent her driver to call Abdul home from work, telling him it was urgent, and that she needed him home for family matters, at the same time telling me she needed to speak to me without the children.
Yas then told me of a horrifying confession Dad made to her after he had been released from prison by government troops, just months earlier. While visiting the village Yas had spent time with Dad alone and had had a disturbing conversation with him. He admitted to killing our mother, telling her the gruesome details of what happened that day. She said she was talking to Dad about her visit to England and about her desire to one day return to England forever!
She said Dad was upset with her, and was trying to discourage her, telling her that her place was with her husband in Yemen. He told her that if she continued her quest to return to England she would end up like our mother, dead! When she asked him what he meant by saying that she said he started crying, saying that he had killed her. Yas said after his initial confession of killing her his tone changed, she said he started mumbling a lot, making out it had all been a terrible accident.
He said it was the night before Mum’s birthday and they had been arguing over her birthday plans; he said Mum was holding a knife at the time. He said in the argument there was a struggle, and he ‘accidently’ slit her throat.
He told her after that he panicked and had to get rid of her body, so he cut her up into pieces and rolled her in a carpet to hide her.
He told her the next night while we were in the house he got rid of her body. He sat us down in front of ‘Top of the Pops’ which was a programme we always loved to watch at the time. Her body had been kept somewhere in the house but that night he carried her body out of the house, and later took her to a place he worked part time, called Llanwern Steelworks. There he burnt her body, and then he said he collected her ashes and later buried them into a house wall he was working on, somewhere in south Wales.
Yas said that although she believed part of his story, at the time she didn’t know whether or not to believe everything. She said it was the way he talked. She believed he killed mum, but not the way he said it happened, or that he burnt her.
Dad had just been through months of torture, and his state of mind was fragile. She thought maybe he was just trying to scare her from ever trying to return to England at first, that’s one of the reasons why she didn’t tell me; she also didn’t tell me because she felt I had enough to deal with, and didn’t need any extra pressure, however now she felt it was time I knew.
Although it was a lot to take in, Yas and I finally believed Dad had killed our mother. The story he told about it being an accident was untrue, Dad was a monster; we had all seen how brutal he could be. He did try and kill Amina!
I believed that every horrible thing he could do, he would. After Dad’s attack on my children, and his threat to kill me like he had killed our mother, Yas agreed with me that I could never come face to face with Dad ever again, it was too dangerous! It was time for me to try and seek help from the British Embassy, and she was about to put my case to Abdul.
Abdul arrived back home and was taken straight into a room by Yas while I waited outside. I was anxious, because although I knew Abdul was a good man, I also knew I’d overstepped the boundaries by attacking my father. When I was finally called into the room my whole body was shaking with nerves. I respected Abdul’s opinion, and really needed his help, but I also knew that whatever he said it would make no difference to my decision. I was going, and that was that!
I sat down opposite Abdul. “Let me just start off by saying, I wholly disapprove of your actions in attacking your father, which was wrong and disrespectful! However, I can’t stand by and watch anyone get treated this way, it’s inhumane, and needs to stop right now!” Yas looked at me and smiled.
“He’s going to help you,” she said, looking at him. “Aren’t you?” She was demanding an answer!
Abdul looked reluctant. “As much as I can, and without anybody knowing!” he said with a frown.
“We have to go today; they are most probably already on their way here looking for us,” I said anxiously.
“Calm down!” Abdul said in a stern voice. “Where are you going to go today?” he asked, looking at us both, but he could see the urgency in our faces. “OK but we need to find you a place, give me an hour at least!”
With that Abdul stood up and said he needed to make some calls, he told us he would be back for dinner in an hour. Once he left Yas tried to reassure me everything would be OK, she promised she would never let Dad, or anyone else, ever hurt me again, but I was convinced Dad was about to burst through the door and shoot me!
When Abdul returned he told me he had spoken to his parents in Sanaa, and that they had agreed that from tomorrow, I could stay with them for one night. He said he hadn’t told them the real story, just that I was staying the night and that I would be gone the next day; it was up to me to make sure the children stayed quiet about everything.
He said once I’d been to the Embassy he would arrange further help for me, but until then, I would need to stay the night with them in Dhamar. Just as Abdul left the house, the house phone rang, and their son Amar answered it, I nearly died when he shouted out to his mum that his Granddad Ali was on the other end of the phone!
Yas went to the phone, putting her finger to her mouth to tell all the children to stay quiet, as I ushered them into a room and closed the door behind them. I heard her greet Dad with a joyful voice, pretending all was well, so not to give away that she knew anything was wrong. After a short pause she changed her tone and sounded concerned, telling him she hadn’t heard from us, and asking him what had happened, begging him to inform her as soon as he had any more information.
“I think he bought it!” she said, looking hopeful, once the phone was down. “He didn’t mention the fight, he just said you disappeared for no reason, and he’s worried about you and the children, what an idiot! Making out this was all your fault!” I was worried, if Dad started going around telling people I’d run away for no reason, he would have everyone searching for me!
The next morning the driver was ready and waiting to take us to Sanaa, and the children were happy but anxious about the journey we were about to take. I’d told them the night before how dangerous the whole situation could be.
If we made it to the Embassy, and they agreed to help us, then we would be OK, but if we got caught, then my children may never see me again. The only two who really understood anything were Tarek and Izzy, and they told me they were with me all the way, and would do everything they could to help us escape.
From then onwards Yas and Abdul told me they would not be able to talk openly to me ever again; they told me how to contact them because they would not be able to contact me. I hugged my sister and her children goodbye, and although I didn’t know when, or even if, I would ever see her again, my departure felt different from ever before.
I was scared to death of what I was doing, but for once in my life I felt as though I was doing something right. I was now on the run!
We arrived at Abdul’s family home before lunch and his family were friendly and welcoming; Abdul had told them I was going to my Uncle’s house the next day, so they didn’t ask questions. That day we rested at Abdul’s family home, in the knowledge that Dad would never expect us to be there, and therefore, it would be the last place he would look.
Chapter Twenty Two
Not Without My Children!
I was up bright and early the next morning; I’d washed the children’s clothes the night before and put them out to dry so they had something clean to wear. Yas had given us extra clothes of hers and her children’s, but they were different ages so not much fitted. We hadn’t taken anything from Dad’s house because we couldn’t carry anything, but none of this mattered to us any more, because our lives were about to change.
After the children were fed we said our goodbyes and set off. Abdul’s fa
mily thought we were walking to my uncle’s house, when in fact, we were off to the Embassy! It took us around 20 minutes to walk there. I had Nasser strapped to my back and the other children were helped along by their older siblings.
Although my mind and heart felt strong, my body felt weak. I was petrified of what could happen. My family knew so many people in government who could track us down, and I wasn’t sure if any of them had contacts within the Embassy, but I was sure of one thing: what I was doing was right! I was finally standing up for myself and protecting my children from having to suffer the abuse that my sisters and I had suffered. I was also standing up for my right to return to my country of birth!
When we arrived at the Embassy the workers were starting to arrive, so I stood back and watched, hoping to see Karen walk in. My children stood close to me as the gates opened to allow the workers in, some were Arabic and some English, but Karen wasn’t amongst them.
Once they were all in, the soldiers took their places on either side of the gates to stand guard; it looked like the Embassy was open for the day. I approached a man making his way towards the gates, he looked English, carrying a briefcase as though he was going into work, and with my heart beating so hard against my chest I thought he could hear it, I asked him a question in English.
“Excuse me; do you know a lady called Karen who works here?” He looked at me in a strange way because I was speaking English, and then answered in a polite tone, oblivious to my nerves. “Yes! But she won’t be here yet, however she will be in later.”
As I turned to walk away the sound of another man’s voice turned my legs to jelly. “Muna, is that you?” I felt my children grab onto my sharsharf in fear as I slowly carried on walking off, pretending I couldn’t hear him while my children scuffled along close to me. I felt as though my legs were going to give way, a voice in my head was screaming, “Please God no, no!” Then he spoke again.
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