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Homesteader Blues

Page 7

by Cherime MacFarlane


  What's a new bathroom without new shit? In the last box in the barn, tucked back in a corner behind some old tarps was the last box. A whole new set of towels, washcloths, bathmats and assorted paraphernalia was waiting.

  Told you I paid attention to the house and garden TV stuff. So the whole thing would be color coordinated, and I sure hoped she liked it. I had purchased the mess the last time I went into Anchorage by myself for a load of feed and hid it out.

  The big box store in Anchor town had sets of stuff, and I got double so she wouldn't need to do laundry any more often than normal. I wanted to make her life easier, not harder. The shelves under the counter next to the dryer got all the spares. I hung a big towel rack over the shower door. It had plenty of space to hang wet things, and the kids could reach the last rung with no problems.

  One of those liquid soap dispensers went next to the sink along with a coordinated toothbrush holder. Removing the old one from the back of the sink, I tossed it in the garbage. A soap dish that held a bar of soap on ridges was next. I put my old can of hand cleaner under the sink. There was no need for her to look at that thing anymore.

  The industrial rubber backed rug was right in front of the shower door with a colorful new bath mat on top. I hung up the shower caddy and emptied her shower bag on the counter. Everything in the bag went on the caddy.

  Running a hand over the handheld shower head thing, I thought about rinsing her off while she sat on the bench. I would need to make sure no soap got into any places it shouldn't. Just thinking about all the fun, this shower would be, caused a particular reaction. I had to adjust the crotch of my jeans.

  There was one more little thing that I needed to do. I wanted to put flowers on the counter, but short of driving into Palmer that wasn't happening. I had an alternative. There was a glass jar thing full of shells and colored marbles, and it went on the end of the counter.

  Then I stepped back inside the doorway and inspected the result. I didn't think I'd missed anything. The plate over the four way, ground fault wall plug for her hair dryer, was made of real wood went well with the rest of the stuff.

  Just for fun, I reached out and flushed the toilet once. It made all the right sounds as the water went down through the thing and out to the septic system.

  Stepping out of the bathroom, I closed the door but didn't pull it shut. I was ready.

  I met Tina at the entry. "Got a surprise for you, honey." I had one of her scarves over one shoulder.

  Her lovely head tipped to one side as she tried to peek past me. Tina's light brown ponytail swung past her neck as those blue eyes narrowed. "What have you been up to here, James? I knew you were up to something."

  "You can't see what until you let me put the blindfold on."

  Kyle, my ten-year-old son, was bouncing on his toes trying to see past me. I moved my left leg out and blocked the kids' access. The rug rats would not give this away.

  "Come on Mom! Let Dad do it so we can see!" Kyle tugged on her shirt.

  Tina grinned. "Oh, all right. Let's get this over with."

  Once I had the blindfold secured, I looked at the kids grouped behind her. "Kids, keep your mouths shut. Do not ruin your mom's surprise. Got that?"

  Kyle nodded as did Katia and James junior, the youngest boy. Grabbing Tina by both hands, I tugged her along as I backed to the door to the bathroom. Kyle's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open, I could see he was about to say something.

  "Kyle! Keep those lips buttoned," I growled out.

  His mouth snapped shut, and he nodded in response. I bumped the door with my butt and tugged Tina inside. There were a collective bunch of gasps from the kids. Katia breathed out a "Wow."

  Moving behind Tina, I pulled off the blindfold and waited. There was a moment of shocked silence, and then it started.

  "Oh God! Oh my God!" Her hand went to her mouth, and she doubled over as she looked around. Then Tina bounced over to the sink and ran her hand across the counter top as she continued to mumble "Oh God."

  Jerking open the shower door, she ran one hand down to the knob and turned it on. When the water sprayed out, she pulled back with a yelp. Turning she looked at me and her eyes were full of tears.

  "Oh my God! Water came out of it. Real water."

  Then she spotted the dryer across the room next to the new counter. I hung a closet rod from the ceiling so she could hang stuff right after it came out of the dryer. Reaching up, she gave it a long brush with her fingers.

  From across the room, Tina launched herself at me. Both arms went around my neck and her lips fastened on mine. Stumbling backward, I fell on the toilet seat and hoped it would take both our weight as she wrapped around me.

  "Jimmy! How on earth did you get this done? Where did you get the money for goodness sake?"

  She drew back for a minute and stared at me. "You didn't take out a loan or something?"

  "Nope. It's all paid for, not to worry honey. The whole shebang is all ours, no money lenders involved."

  Her lips were on mine again, and it would be time for that nap real quick. About that time Katia tugged on Tina's T-shirt.

  "Momma, I have to go pee."

  Just like that, the bathroom got broke in. I shooed the boys out and told them to get the suitcases in while Momma and I took a little nap. All the work I'd put in getting the bathroom done had left me exhausted, and I was sure their mom was tired after running them all over the place at the fair.

  As soon as Tina got out of the bathroom, I took her hand and led her into our bedroom. Shutting the door, I pushed her against it as I reached up under her shirt. "How much do you like your new bathroom? It was one hell of a lot of work, and I'm looking for a little payback. What have you got for me, sweet cheeks?"

  With her blue eyes sparkling, my lovely wife tugged her shirt off and pushed up against me. "Get that stuff off, you old dirt farmer and we'll discuss installment payments."

  The bathroom was a hit. There wasn't a doubt about it. I got it right.

  1Thank you for taking the time to read Homesteader Blues. If you enjoyed it, please consider telling your friends or posting a short review. Word of mouth is an author’s best friend and much appreciated.

  Other books by Cherime MacFarlane:

 

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