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Red, White and Liberal

Page 28

by Alan Colmes


  Class warfare isn't always based on money. One influential organization in creating public policy is the conservative Heritage Foundation, replete with its "abstinence guru" Robert Rector, who actually wrote part of the 1996 Welfare Reform Bill. Rector handily created a "sexual pecking order" to help determine who should receive government benefits. "Marriage holds the place of highest regard, followed by virgins until engaged, virgins until they met someone they wanted to marry, virgins until they fell in love, and on down to the bottom." The "bottom" is something Rector refers to as "extremely dysfunctional, extremely destructive bar-hopping with casual partners to whom they have no commitment."

  Can you imagine a government policy that defined the sexual pecking order of men, right down to those who cruise singles bars looking for one-night stands? Only a male-dominated government would have the gumption to categorize women this way, while being oblivious to how it would appear if the roles were reversed.

  The Bush 43 administration came up with the brilliant idea of spending $300 million to encourage single mothers to get married, thereby institutionalizing Rector's sexual pecking order. But as Barbara Ehrenreich points out in "Prodding the Poor to the Altar" in the Progressive, low-income moms are unlikely to marry CEOs or members of conservative think tanks, and they wind up not with someone who brings home the bacon, but rather another mouth to feed. By Ehrenreich's estimates, a woman in such straits would have to marry 2.3 men to lift her out of her circumstances. Wade Horn, a big name in the fatherhood movement in America, wrote a paper in 1997 in which he said the government should "give preference to two-parent married households" when doling out goodies. This ode to the nuclear family earned him a job serving in the Bush 43 White House as the assistant secretary for the Health and Human Services Department under Secretary Tommy Thompson.

  Despite the effort to "end welfare as we know it," families continue to suffer in America. According to Ann Withorn, professor of social policy at University of Massachusetts-Boston and author of For Crying Out Loud: Women's Poverty in the United States, "Welfare rolls dropped by more than half nationally since 1996, but poverty for single mothers is only down 0.7 percent." Reporting on Connecticut's "Jobs First" program on February 20, 2002, the New York Times reported that participating families "remained poor, with low wages and high levels of hardship, like lacking money to buy food."

  Health and Human Services secretary Tommy Thompson came on our show on January 14, 2003, to talk about the Republican effort to reform welfare again. When Republicans say "reform welfare," what they really mean is "end welfare." They crow about how it worked in 1998 (oh, you mean when Clinton was president? No, they say, when Republicans ran Congress), but they refuse to acknowledge that the reason it worked so well was because the Clinton economy was so robust.

  I pointed out to Secretary Thompson that we're no longer in the Clinton economy and that, at least as of his January 2003 appearance on Hannity & Colmes, the Bush 43 numbers were not all that impressive:

  COLMES: All right, you—tougher work requirements as part of this welfare plan. This is at a time when 1,673,000 jobs have been lost since President Bush entered the White House, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Unemployment has jumped 4.2 percent to 6.2 percent, a 42 percent jump. So how appropriate is it if we're talking about more work when there isn't more work available and people are losing their jobs?

  THOMPSON: Well, Alan, basically you know that people need to work. Everybody else has a forty-hour workweek. And under this forty-hour workweek that we are proposing, the individual that's on assistance is getting off assistance, will work for twenty-four hours, and then will have sixteen hours in which they can go to school, go to job training, get some job improvement so they can get some advancement. I think it's a very laudable program and it's very compassionate.

  COLMES: But there aren't those jobs available. As I just pointed out, people are losing in this administration. Jobs have been lost, over a million jobs.

  As Secretary Thompson and I were having this conversation forty-three states were operating in the red, and the Republican plan didn't increase the $17 billion the states were getting in block grants, or the $4.8 billion for child care.

  Conservatives position their welfare policies as being helpful to the less fortunate, but what the statistics don't show is those who have given up, who are no longer eligible for help, or who are marginalized by a system in which they have no clout and no options. For a country that brags about its wealth and its might, this is a mean outcome.

  P.S. You are Ugly Too!

  Much of what I say truly upsets conservatives. It's never my goal to annoy, but the truth is, if you really are passionate about what you believe, your views are going to rub some people the wrong way. E-mail gives my viewers and listeners an opportunity to respond candidly and immediately. It gives some the mistaken notion that there is license to behave in ways they never would in person. I hope. The ability to communicate our immediate thoughts is unbuffered by the time it takes to stuff a piece of paper in an envelope, address and stamp it, and go to a mailbox; and it's aided by the false sense of anonymity that electronic communication provides. I've included some of my most entertaining and provocative exchanges throughout this book. Here are a few more:

  From: Galloway

  Sent: Saturday, September 28,2002 3:57 AM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: You owe me a TV

  Dear Mr. Colmes:

  You owe me a 27-inch Sony TV. Let me explain why... I watch and listen Mr. Hannity but when it Colmes to you Mr. Colmes, I press my "MUTE" button ... because ... my blood starts boiling by listening your left-wing comments. I went... to get a cup of coffee and I forgot to press the mute button.You start with your left wing, liberal, and communistic BS. I lost my temper and threw my mug toward the TV. Sadly, it was a direct hit and the TV blew up. I would like you to pay for my TV, Sir. It was your fault...

  Sincerely,

  Galloway

  Fredericksburg, MD

  Galloway, thank you for hitting the mute button rather than the channel selector. That way, I still get ratings credit. Oh, and why not use that good money in your Bush tax rebate check to replace your television? That'll really trickle things down.

  From: Fstnfurious

  Sent: Monday, February 10,2003 6:02 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: RATINGS

  YOU HAVE NOW SURPASSED J.R. EWING AS THE MOST HATED MAN IN AMERICA

  RED, WHITE & LIBERAL 275

  From: Parker

  Sent: Tuesday, January 15,2002 9:56 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: (no subject)

  Alan, I am sorry to say but sometimes I think you are gay the way you defend those people.

  From: Colmes

  Sent: Tuesday,January 15,2002 10:15 PM

  To: Parker

  Subject: RE: (no subject)

  and when I stand up for women's rights, do you think I'm a woman?

  From: Ravi

  Sent: Friday,June 13,2000 10:04 PM

  To: colmes@foxnews.com

  Subject: Plethora of Nonsense

  Dear Mister Alan Colmes:

  How in the world can you stand to have a right hand, right ear, right eye, right foot, right side of your body, since everything abou you is so left?

  yours truly, Ravi, Butte, MT

  From: PhilB

  Sent: Tuesday, February I 1,2003 10:39 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: Closet Conservative

  Mr. Colmes—

  You are a great actor, but as a Goldwater conservative (are we still allowed to say that?) I think down deep you are really one of us.

  Phil B, Columbia, SC

  From: Lawrence R.

  Sent: Friday, October 11,2002 2:41 AM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: marriage

  Several weeks ago you announced that you were getting married, but I dooooon't recall your ever mentioning his name or how you won him over.You sly
rascal, I'll bet you must have shown him how you could lick your eyebrows.

  Lawrence R.

  From: Colmes

  Sent: Friday, October I 1,2002 1:27 PM

  To: Lawrence R.

  Subject: RE: marriage

  sorry, Larry, I'm already taken.

  From: Donald

  Sent: Monday, October 21,2002 2:59 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: Question

  Hey Alan,

  I watch Hannity & Colmes quite a bit and one question has been nagging me for a very long time. How do you hold up that massive head of yours? Do you work out your neck muscles or something.Your massive NOGGIN dwarfs all other heads on the show. It must weigh at least 60 lbs. I was also curious as to whether or not you served in the Navy. I figured that with a truly expansive skull like that the wind resistance on deck would give an aircraft carrier at least 10 extra knots.

  Thanks a bunch, angel.

  Donald

  Among my favorite give-and-takes are those involving viewers who do a 180 on me and become my friend after the initial vituperative e-mail. Sometimes, all it takes is my acknowledgment for them to soften up.

  From: LB Catering Co.

  Sent: Monday, October 28,2002 9:55 PM

  To: colmes

  Subject: I Can not watch you when I am eating dinner

  Mr. Colmes

  You are so liberal and so disgusting that you make me throw up.

  LOVE,

  Brent

  From: Colmes

  Sent: Monday, October 28,2002 10:16 PM

  To: LB Catering Co.

  Subject: RE: I Can not watch you when I am eating dinner

  Brent,

  If your catering company is any good, your food will overcome your disgust at me.

  Love,

  Alan

  From: LB Catering Co.

  Sent: Monday, October 28,2002 I 1:54 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: RE: I Can not watch you when I am eating dinner

  Mr. Colmes,

  Throwing up or not, I would not miss your show!!

  Love,

  Brent

  This viewer chose to cc me on something he wrote to Sean:

  From: Charles

  Sent: Friday, January 17,2003 12:20 PM

  To: Hannity

  Subject: I Refuse to Purchase or Wear "Hannity & Colmes"

  Gear for a very Good Reason!!

  Hi Sean!

  I'd love to purchase some of those nice polo shirts, but I refuse to wear anything with Alan's name on it!... Alan is a complete joke in my view (and in the view of countless others). He's lucky to have a job there.

  Sincerely,

  Charles

  Springfield, MA

  From: Colmes,

  Sent: Wednesday, January 22, 2003 I 1:26 AM

  To: Charles

  Subject: RE: I Refuse to Purchase or Wear "Hannity & Colmes"

  Gear for a very Good Reason!!

  so, Charles, you won't wear anything with my name on it, but you'll watch our show for Sean's point of view. Do you want to hear only those views you agree with?... Do you disdain all liberals so much that you want nothing to do with them?... Why not buy some H&C gear and put a communist flag by my name? That might help people understand how you feel.

  From: Charles

  Sent: Wednesday, January 22,2003 12:47 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: RE: I Refuse to Purchase orWear"Hannity & Colmes"

  Gear for a very Good Reason!!

  Thanks Alan!

  EXCELLENT IDEA! Yes, I really do believe that the liberals would ruin this country completely if they had their way... I have chosen to break friendship with most of my pathetic liberal friends since 9/11/2001 ... Regardless of all this, I do wish you a happy and healthy new year.

  From: Colmes

  Sent: Wednesday,January 22,2003 12:47 PM

  To: Charles

  Subject: RE: I Refuse to Purchase orWear"Hannity & Colmes"

  Gear for a very Good Reason!!

  ... To hear that you choose friendships based on whether they're liberal is truly sad.

  From: Charles

  Sent: Wednesday, January 22,2003 2:32 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: RE: I Refuse to Purchase or Wear "Hannity & Colmes"

  Gear for a very Good Reason!! (Alan, I apologize for insulting you).

  Alan,

  Let's put on the brakes here! You've got the wrong picture of me ... I did insult you personally, and I now sincerely apologize for that.There is no excuse for my harsh tone ... I'm sure that you are truly a kind and wonderful person ... Most of my liberal friends are history... but not all! I do have liberal friends that I deeply care for... I'm really not a bigot or anything remotely close ... I would gladly risk my life to save your life.Alan Colmes. I'll try to be more polite with my comments in the future___I

  promise!

  She likes me! She really likes me!

  From: Dorrie

  Sent: Thursday, November 21,2002 12:26 PM

  To: colmes

  Subject: mistake

  Dear Mr. Colmes,

  I made a mistake again by watching your show last night.As usual I was upset by some of your kooky stuff but then I really became scared because some of your drivel started to make sense.

  Dorrie

  Wheeling, VW

  From the Oh, that explains it! file:

  From: rstr201

  Sent: Tuesday, January 21,2003 9:39 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: (no subject)

  Alan

  I have put up with your stupidity for years, but you have exceeded my ability to not comment on how outraged you make me feel... I believe that you appear homosexual so maybe that explains it all.

  From: Mr. S.

  Sent: Tuesday, December 10,2002 10:16 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: athiest

  you hate jews, you hate Christians, you love muslims, I dare you to admit on the air that you are an athiest. If you were an honest journelist you would admit that you are an athiest and love to see a birth canal baby die with with a shot of fermaldihide in the brain.Worship your master, SATIN, or dashel or clinton you are a disgrace to all Americans.

  From: Colmes

  Sent: Tuesday, December 10,2002 10:37 PM

  To: Mr. S.

  Subject: RE: athiest

  my master is not Satin, it's Polyester

  From: LSW4

  Sent: Thursday, December 12,2002 9:15 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: (no subject)

  I cannot see how a decent man like Hannity can stand to be in the same room with you without continuously throwing up!

  Your pal

  Thanks for being a pal. Too bad you didn't sign your name so I can know who my friends are.

  From: Pat

  Sent: Friday, March 14, 2003 12:01 PM

  To: Colmes Subject: book?

  Mr. Colmes,

  Are you really writing a book? I will buy your book if funny and up beat...

  P.S. loved you last nite ... Keep talking for us, ok? and I will for sure buy your book, (as know you care about everyone.)

  Pat

  Portland, OR

  Thanks, one sold!

  From: Lester

  Sent: Wednesday, December 04, 2002 10:42 AM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: Amazed

  Colmes,

  You are consistently amazing to me!! Something I should have suspected, but didn't. Last night a long shot of your set showed you writing with your LEFT hand. Did that happen naturally or did your brain receive it's instruction from the Daily Worker, the NY Times or the DNC?

  Lester

  Norfolk.VA

  From: Rachel

  Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 2:22 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: Just wondering!

  Mr. Colmes

  ... What I am wondering about, is do you sometimes feel uncomf
ortable having to always be the other side.

  Rachel, Hartford, CT

  From: Colmes

  Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 2:46 PM

  To: Rachel

  Subject: RE: Just wondering!

  ... I'm not on the "other side." Sean is.

  From: Brad

  Sent: Wednesday, November 6, 2002 5:14 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: mid-term elections

  Dear Alan ~You are the main reason this country went Republican.

  Brad, Philadelphia, PA

  Thank you, Guy, for reminding me of one of the greatest titles of any country song ever: "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly." And thanks for imbuing me with far more power than I possess.

  From: Scott

  Sent: Thursday, March 13, 2003 10:06 PM

  To: Colmes

  Subject: Alan Colmes

  Alan, ... You did not make me curse once tonight.There is a god...

 

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