Peacekeepers

by Walter Knight

  The Exalted Ruler showed us various exit points and escape routes. Legionnaires covered the exits, then pumped toxic gases down the tunnels. No one came out. I ordered the fire department to flood the tunnels. Still nothing. Later, we went down to see for ourselves. Some things you just have to do in person. We found arms, supplies, and a freshly dug tunnel leading to the surface. The scorpion terrorists had escaped. Again.

  * * * * *

  Captain Hawn of the USGF SSupport Cruiser P. Paulson called to report spider insurgent activity observed atop Mountain Storm’s hill. “It is the damnedest thing I have ever seen,” explained Captain Hawn. “The Spiders are pouring out of their bunker entrance like a smoked-out anthill. Insurgents are scurrying about the condos in confusion like they are trying to get away from something. Maybe something in their tunnels spooked them? A cave-in, maybe?”

  ‘Can you get a good shot at them?” I asked. “Not while they are in among the condos,” replied Captain Hawn. “If they leave their hill, try to pick a few off,” I ordered. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and get Mountain Storm.”

  * * * * *

  Secret-Sting, having seen the dungeon under Legion Headquarters, was determined to link up with the Legion underground bunkers. It would be a perfect surprise attack from within. They could loot the Legion armory, to boot. It was rumored the so-called peacekeepers had twenty captured nukes hidden down there, in violation of treaty. It was more evidence of Legion treachery. However, as his new tunnel neared completion, half of Secret-Sting’s freedom fighters deserted. They just quit and went home.

  “What is this?” asked Secret-Sting. “We are so close to striking a fatal blow against the Legion, and what happens? Everyone goes home? Cowards!”

  “I do not understand either,” replied Quick-Sting. “Our fighters are not cowards. Their courage has been battle proven. There is something down there. They say the tunnels are haunted. I felt it, too. It was a feeling of being watched from the dark.”

  “Nonsense!” said Secret-Sting, as he checked his weapons and grenades. “I trust what I see, not what I hear. You and I will go down to the tunnels and settle this once and for all! Haunted? Ha! This is lunacy!”

  * * * * *

  Corporal Camacho and Private Knight stood guard outside the armory door. Knight was asleep in his chair again, his head facing way from the surveillance camera. His cheap sci-fi paperback novel dropped to the floor. There was a sound of something being knocked over inside the armory. Knight woke up abruptly. Camacho looked through the small grilled window. Two glowing red eyes stared back.

  Camacho screamed and fell away from the door, falling on his back. He fired his rifle on full automatic into the armory door and at the window. Bullets ricocheted everywhere. It was only luck Private Knight was not killed by errant bullets. Finally Camacho’s rifle went empty.

  “There’s something in there!” he cried. It’s a monster!” “You mean like a ghost?” asked Private Knight. “That’s it,” said Corporal Camacho, crossing himself. “It was like a ghost. Two red eyes! Do you believe in ghosts?” “There’s no such thing,” answered Private Knight. “I don’t believe in ghosts or any of that paranormal stuff.” “I get that a lot,” boomed the Grim Reaper from the armory. “But seeing is believing!” Thanatos poked his head and razor sharp scythe through the iron door. Knight and Camacho dropped their rifles and ran, not looking back until they saw daylight above.

  * * * * *

  Secret-Sting and Quick-Sting broke through the Legion bunker complex. They could hear shooting way off down the tunnel. The sounds of many Legion boots on cement floors echoed through the tunnels.

  “Do you still think the tunnels are haunted?” asked Secret-Sting. “The underground is full of legionnaires. That is what those cowards were afraid of.”

  “It was something else,” advised Quick-Sting. “I felt it right next to me. It’s gone now.”

  “I have not gone anywhere!” announced the Grim Reaper, in a booming voice. “I will always be among you! I have your brother’s head in my collection, and I will have both your heads before I leave Scorpion City!”

  Quick-Sting ran. Secret-Sting stayed. “Can we make a deal?” asked Secret-Sting. “You think you can cheat me? Outsmart me?” asked the Grim Reaper, now showing himself. “Some have tried. None have succeeded.” “What did you say about my brother?” asked Secret-Sting. “You took him?” “You should have run like the others,” said the Grim Reaper, raising his scythe. “Are you bored?” asked Secret-Sting. “Or just amusing yourself scaring the natives? I think you need counseling for your death issues.”

  “I will amuse myself by taking you,” advised the Grim Reaper, coming closer. “Even if you are insane.” “What are you?” asked Secret-Sting. “Why are you humanoid? I don’t believe any of this. You are a fraud!” “I followed humanity across the stars. They have led me to you.” Secret-Sting tossed a grenade he held concealed. The explosion had no affect. Thanatos just laughed. Secret-Sting ran. It would be quite some time before he ventured back to the dark of the underground.

  * * * * *

  Sergeant Green and I listened to Knight and Camacho’s account of why they deserted their post. We checked the video, but saw nothing unusual except Private Knight obviously asleep, and Camacho firing his assault rifle into the door, almost killing Knight in the process. I ordered Lieutenant Perkins and a squad of legionnaires to go downstairs and investigate. Lieutenant Perkins found nothing. As a precaution, I brought the nukes upstairs and had them shuttled to New Phoenix. The haunting of Scorpion City’s underground seemed to stop, for the time being. Nothing was proved, but for days Sergeant Green would greet me in the morning with, “I told you so!”

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  Chapter 15

  I was invited to meet the new Arthropodan Regional Governor Dragon King at the Governor’s Mansion. The spider marine commander for Scorpion Valley made introductions.

  “We have already met,” advised Dragon King.

  “Oh? I would have remembered you,” I said.

  “I was just an old sergeant at the time. Now I am an old politician. You seem to have retained your youth somehow. Only a few gray hairs?”

  I ignored that comment as Dragon King continued, “I was not into monitor dragons like I am now. Breeding dragons was a nice hobby for my retirement. We met at the Joint Dining Hall at the DMZ Village years ago. I remember you introduced the first spider legionnaire, and we all got real upset. So did you, as I recall. You threatened to burn down the DMZ Peace Village. And then you did it. I heard the red glow could be seen from space. Whatever happened to that Green spider you introduced?”

  “Lieutenant Washington has done well for himself rising up through the ranks,” I answered. “He has a big family, with two wives and lots of kids.”

  “I am glad to hear he has kept some Arthropodan traditions, and has not gone completely renegade,” commented Dragon King.

  “We have an insurgency problem on both sides of the border,” I said, getting down to business. “Are we going to be able to work together on that?”

  “Mountain Storm is my problem,” advised Dragon King. “That is why I have a commander of marines at my disposal. You kill your bandits, and I will kill mine. I noticed just last week you are still bombing targets on our side of the border. That has to end. Do you have any idea how much you caused property insurance rates to increase? I have a mob of angry condo owners demonstrating outside my mansion as we speak.”

  “I saw them. I thought they were Teamsters.”

  “That is another problem,” said Dragon King. “Your bombing from space will end. Unlike you, I do not want to risk war because of recklessness.”

  “I have never advocated war except as a means of peace,” I said. “Sometimes I get bad press.”

  “You joke about starting a war?” asked Dragon King. “Do you take your peacekeeping responsibilities seriously, or is this just another assignment? By the way, I love t
hose blue helmets.”

  “I think a select group of elite Arthropodan marines should wear blue helmets, too,” I suggested. “They would look real spiffy, and I could use the help.”

  “No!” said the spider commander, finally joining the conversation. “That would be ill advised.”

  “I will consider it,” said Dragon King. “About your recklessness. You will use restraint from now on along the border. You will take your duties seriously.”

  “I’ve come a long way since we first met at the DMZ village,” I replied, “as have both our cultures. Of course I take my duties seriously. Before, I was just trying to survive the day. I do the best job I can. Sometimes, I am able to do good. What more can anyone ask?”

  “So you can see the big picture now?” asked Dragon King. “You will not engage in your usual impulsive human pestilence adventurism? I want to hear it from your lips.”

  “Mountain Storm will die,” I said, being stubborn. “Whether or not you help me.”

  “Mountain Storm is a militia leader,” advised Dragon King. “Militias are now part of the landscape. Kill Mountain Storm, and a more competent leader emerges. Nothing has been accomplished. I might add that the Empire did not used to tolerate militias. The idea of forming local militias to deal with local safety issues on the Frontier is an idea borrowed from you human pestilence. Now militias have become an established institution. I even have my own militia.”

  “Mountain Storm’s militia is populated with insurgents and terrorists,” I argued. “They keep trying to bomb Walmart. Their terrorism will not be tolerated. I thought you hated Mountain Storm. I know he hates you. Didn’t you sic your pet dragon on him during the election? I saw it on TV. The slow-motion replay was great.”

  “If Mountain Storm needs to be killed, it will be my job to do it,” explained Dragon King. “The militia situation here in Scorpion Valley is still evolving. I expect Mountain Storm’s militia will fade away as its need fades. There would not be a perceived need for a militia if your cannibal scorpions stopped raiding across the border, attacking the oil pipeline and committing murders.”

  “I doubt that,” I said. “His militia will just become your local Mafia.”

  “Military intelligence advises me that already Mountain Storm’s militia is fading,” argued Dragon King. “Recently half his fighters deserted their underground bunker. You did not know that?”

  “No. What happened? A cave-in?”

  “That is not clear,” answered Dragon King. “You have not heard any rumors, or had any unusual reports from the underground?”

  “Humans don’t like digging tunnels like you spiders do. We don’t like the darkness. I try to stay out of the tunnels as much as possible.”

  “I see,” said Dragon King. “Let me know if there are problems in the tunnels.”

  “What are you going to do about Secret-Sting?” asked the spider commander.

  “Killing Secret-Sting is an ongoing project,” I said. “The job of killing him would be easier if I did not have to split my time because you have given sanctuary to Mountain Storm.”

  “Fortunately you and my able military commander already know each other and have a fine working relationship,” said Dragon King, happily. “The two of you should be able to work out the details of maintaining peace along our border.”

  “That at least is true,” I said. “We have not tried to kill each other lately, and he is still on my Christmas card list.”

  “I love that human pestilence holiday,” commented Dragon King. “It is my favorite. We will have our Christmas lights up at the mansion any day now.”

  * * * * *

  The spider border guard crossed the bright painted red line and knocked on Guido’s bullet-proof plate-glass window. Guido looked up and laughed, pointing at the spider marine’s bright blue helmet.

  “Is this your doing?” asked the angry spider guard. “I know it is!”

  “I swear I had nothing to do with it,” replied Guido. “But only because I had not thought of it. You’re looking sharp, bro. You look like a hermit crab wearing a blue bowl.”

  “Now we are both peacekeepers,” sighed the spider guard. “That means by treaty I can come over here anytime I want.”

  “It’s fine by me,” agreed Guido. “Just don’t let the Scorpion National Guard catch you trespassing.”

  “I get a slight pay raise for doing the same job,” commented the spider guard. “How cool is that? Are you taking bets yet on the upcoming basketball season? I know it is early, but there are some really good point spreads out there, and I want to get my bets in before they tighten up.”

  “Basketball season is open for business,” announced Guido. “Bring it on!”

  “Go Lakers!” exclaimed the spider guard. “I am going to make some serious money now!”

  * * * * *

  Lieutenant Perkins and a squad of legionnaires cautiously scouted a scorpion tunnel that breached the bunker under Legion Headquarters. Inexplicably, the scorpion terrorists had not attacked after gaining entry to the Legion underground. Their tunnel seemed abandoned. After a couple of miles, the legionnaires surfaced at Secret-Sting’s mother’s house. She was not happy to see legionnaires coming up through a crawl space under her kitchen sink.

  “Get away, you!” she yelled, brandishing a rolling pin. “Help! Burglars! I’m being robbed! Call the police! Call nine-one-one!”

  Sergeant Wayne put a knife to her throat. “Not another word, or I will cut you,” he threatened. “Understand?”

  “You are the spider thug who murdered my dear Hidden-Sting!” she accused, knocking the knife away. “Now you have come for me!”

  Secret-Sting’s mom threw dirty dishes at Sergeant Wayne. Lieutenant Perkins sprayed her with nerve agent.

  “Is she dead?” asked Corporal Camacho. “Did you just kill the maid?”

  “I don’t know who she is,” replied Lieutenant Perkins. “But don’t worry, she is still alive. Tie her up. She is under arrest for terrorism. She will be interrogated at Legion Headquarters. Search the rest of the house for suspects and weapons!”

  * * * * *

  A bulldozer was brought from the Scorpion City National Guard to flatten Secret-Sting’s mom’s house. She watched from the back on a Legion Armored car as the dozer did its work.

  “I do not know anything about terrorists,” insisted Secret-Sting’s mom.

  “How do you explain the tunnel under your kitchen sink?” asked Lieutenant Perkins. “It leads directly to Legion Headquarters where Secret-Sting planned a terrorist attack!”

  “Oh, that is nonsense,” replied Secret-Sting’s mom. “The boys have always dug under the house. It is what boys do. They mean no harm; they just like to dig. What is the big deal? They’re good boys.”

  “Are you saying you have no knowledge of your sons’ terrorist activities?” asked lieutenant Perkins. “No!” insisted Secret-Sting’s mom. “They are not terrorists! Where am I going to live now?” “In jail,” advised Sergeant Wayne. “That is where you belong for giving birth to vermin.” More irate than ever, Secret-Sting’s mom broke loose and stabbed at Sergeant Wayne with her tail, just missing him with a sting. Sergeant Wayne drew his large jagged combat knife and cut off her stinger with one clean slice.

  “Ouch!” she screamed. “Help! Rape! They are brutalizing me! Help me, please!”

  Scorpion onlookers had gathered to watch the spectacle of the house demolition. Now several scorpions were yelling at the legionnaires. Even the Scorpion National Guard troopers seemed upset.

  “They cut off her tail!” yelled a scorpion onlooker. “That is unbelievable! Did you see that?”

  “Let her go!” shouted another scorpion.

  The crowd pressed forward. The first rock thrown crashed into the armored car windshield. Another rock hit Lieutenant Perkins on the side of his helmet. He went down. A bullet pinged off the armored car. A bottle firebomb exploded against the side of the a
rmored car. Flames mostly spread on the sidewalk. Legionnaires fired shots into the air. The crowd backed off a little. Then a sniper’s bullet hit Corporal Camacho in the chest. Legionnaires fired into the crowd and threw grenades. Sergeant Wayne fired from the machine gun turret. What would be known later as the Scorpion City Riot had just begun.

  * * * * *

  “What in the hell are you doing?” asked General Daly. “Major Desert-Sting of the Scorpion City National Guard says your legionnaires started a riot that won’t stop, and that you invited Arthropodan marines to come across the border and shoot up the town. Is that true?”

  “Those spiders are peacekeepers,” I said. “The peacekeeper thing was your idea.”

  “It wasn’t my idea to put blue helmets on spiders!” shouted General Daly. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  “This isn’t working,” I said. “Our peacekeeping mission is flawed. To have peace you need a winner and a loser. There will be no peace if both sides want to get at each other, and have not yet realized that fighting and war is bad for the tourist industry.”

  “To hell with the tourists,” said General Daly. “Get those spiders back across the border!”

  “The Legion should pull out of the entire Scorpion Valley, and not come back until they build a Marriott Hotel, and the radiation levels go down enough for the buffalo to roam. Do you realize I lost all my hair?”

  “It’s not my fault you forgot to take your anti radiation pills!” said General Daly. “What do buffalo have to do with anything?”