Just Like Yesterday

by Brenda Barrett

  Nick emitted a sigh. "We are cousins, aren't we?"

  "Yup," Hazel said, looking up at him. "I am a 99.9% match to Helen Benedict."

  Curtis folded her hands in his and she clutched his.

  Nick nodded. "Aunt Helen will be over the moon happy to hear this."

  "No, wait," Hazel said, biting her lip. "I am not ready for anybody else to know. I haven't processed this whole thing yet. Give me a couple of days or so."

  "Okay," Nick said, his voice a little deflated. "I wanted to break it to the family as soon as possible but I accept that it is your choice to go at your own pace. May I be the first to say welcome to the family."

  Hazel smiled, her lips barely moving. She was a Benedict! This was super crazy. She followed Nick to the door soon after that. He gave her a spontaneous hug and she hugged him back. When she closed the door tears were in her eyes and she had no recollection of where they came from.

  Curtis was sitting where she left him. He watched her intently.

  "I didn't know that the news would affect me this way," Hazel said, wiping her eyes. She sat down across from him. Even though her mind was in a whirl, she was still super aware of him and she didn't think that she could process anything else tonight.

  He looked at her gravely. "Well, it's one mystery solved for you."

  "Yes." Hazel nodded vigorously. "I don't know what to feel."

  "Then relax," Curtis said soothingly. "You don't have to do anything with the info just yet."

  Hazel sniffed. "Does Sebastian know about me?"

  "Yes." Curtis raised his eyebrows at the abrupt change in conversation.

  "Sorry, I know this may seem as if it is coming from left field but Helen and I have parallel lives." Hazel rubbed her eyes. "She had a child that was taken away from her; I have a child that was taken away from me."

  Curtis winced. "At least you are not using the word stolen as it relates to Sebastian."

  Hazel sighed. "What did you tell Sebastian about me?"

  "That you were young when he was born. Too young to take care of him properly." Curtis shrugged. "I told him that you were able to meet him now and ready to be in his life."

  "Thanks." Hazel sniffed. "I can't imagine what it must be like for Helen to give birth to her baby and then have that child cruelly taken away when she had the resources to take care of her."

  "I imagine this news will take a while for her to digest too…when she hears it." Curtis pulled his phone from his pocket. "Here is the very latest picture of Sebastian, taken just this morning."

  Hazel took the phone from Curtis and stared at the screen. He was standing at a seaside with Keith Decker. They were both in swimming trunks Keith Decker had his hand around him possessively.

  Curtis wasn’t lying, his father was handsome. They both shared the same down-turned, dreamy-eyed look. His father obviously worked out.

  Curtis was looking at her intently when she handed the phone back to him, as if he expected her to do something. She wasn't sure what the air of expectancy was about.

  "Can you send me that picture?" she asked.

  "Sure," he said after a long pause.

  "What is it?" Hazel asked, bewildered at his sudden retreat into silence.

  "I was just thinking about your memory loss and how it is that you can forget Sebastian's biological father so totally. It's amazing."

  "Yeah," Hazel said. "Maybe being with him wasn't a pleasant memory and the memory loss is a blessing."

  Curtis shrugged. "I should leave…let you digest this latest bombshell alone."

  "Wait!" Hazel said anxiously. "What about Sunday? We haven't discussed Sunday."

  "We can go to the beach at Hellshire," Curtis said. "It's nice there. Sebastian loves to swim. You two can get to know each other then."

  "That's two whole days away," Hazel said fretfully. "I wish he was here now in Jamaica."

  "I know." Curtis got up and then pulled her up with him.

  "You take care of yourself, okay?" He kissed her hard on the lips and headed to the door. "I'll call you."

  *****

  Hazel had the hardest time going to sleep after Curtis left. She turned on the night light and stared at the shadows on the ceiling. She thought about Helen. She had never met her. Caitlin and Brigid said she was strange. Her mother was strange. She was saying the word mother.

  She twisted to her side. One minute she had no blood relatives and the next she had a whole slew of them. She tried to bring to mind all of the Benedicts that she had met through the years. She couldn't keep up.

  And then there was Miss Judd. She wanted to know what had been her motives for taking an innocent baby and leaving her at the mercy of strangers.

  She was thinking about that baby abstractly, as if they weren't the same person. She had lived her whole life thinking she was anonymous.

  Now she wasn't.

  What if she hadn't been taken away from Helen? How would she have grown up? Well, she wouldn't have grown up with Casey and Brigid and Caitlin.

  Maybe she would have seen them at one of the family get-togethers that Patricia would take them to, but she certainly wouldn't consider them her sisters. She couldn't imagine life without them. And for one moment she actually found herself thankful that things had worked out the way they had.

  She turned on the side lamp and reached in the drawer for the October edition of Lux Women. Caitlin had featured Helen, an artist despite her challenges. Hazel studied her features.

  Helen was an attractive woman. Her eyes looked sad, though, as if she had experienced a lifetime of pain and was resigned to it. She was aging gracefully, a sprinkling of gray hair to the sides. Her hair was pulled back in a chignon which emphasized her high cheekbones. They looked nothing alike. Not even a bit. God had a real sense of humor, allowing the genes of her son to shout out the Benedict that was in her.

  Sebastian!

  She grabbed the phone and searched for the picture of him with Keith Decker. Oh, how she loved him so much. She looked into his little smiling face. She had to thank God that she had a second chance with him when he was young enough for it to matter. She might have missed the first five years of his life but she wasn't going to miss any more of his growing up while she was alive.

  She clutched the phone to her and then closed her eyes.

  Sleep, where are you?

  *****

  She was at a party…the one for Adele Myers, the model. She knew this because Kenzy had just pointed her out.

  "There she is. Isn't she pretty?"

  Hazel had seen a tall, slim girl in the corner of the room with a guy the size of the Incredible Hulk, his hand thrown over her shoulder.

  "That's the fiancé." Kenzy shuddered. "I don't know what she sees in him. Apart from the money and his lifestyle. But still...he is not pretty."

  "Maybe he is a nice person." Hazel chuckled. "You are so shallow it's starting to worry me."

  The music was loud. Nineties music…Andru Donalds’ Mishale.

  Kenzy didn't hear her last statement and Hazel didn't respond to her prompts to repeat what she said.

  "That's your jam, the dance version!" Kenzy shouted and pulled her to the middle of the dance floor.

  "Let’s dance!" Kenzy moved sinuously to the rhythm. The red dress that she was in revealed more than it concealed.

  Hazel wasn't much better. She was tottering on high heels that felt unfamiliar to her feet. She was so heavily made up that her mascara was weighting down her eyelashes. She could only rock from side to side while Kenzy sang the song at the top of her voice.

  Mishale, oh, what am I supposed to do? Mishale, I'll never get over you.

  A guy came in her field of vision. He grinned at her. He was an older guy, maybe in his thirties. He danced between her and Kenzy. When the song was over he whispered to her.

  "My friends would like to meet you."

  "Me?" Hazel squeaked.

  "Yes." He smiled at her, a friendly smile. "Where do you model for? We want to s
teal you."

  "Wait." Hazel giggled self-consciously. "I am not a model. I am just..."

  "A college student," Kenzy said, insinuating herself between the two of them. "Her name's Michelle."

  "Like the song." The guy grinned. "What's your name?"

  "McKenzie," Kenzy said, grinning. "Which agency are you with?"

  "Fullham," the guy said. "By the way, my name is Gary."

  They walked toward a quiet alcove where some men and one woman were sitting. "Guys, this is Michelle and McKenzie."

  Hazel felt odd now that she hadn't given them her real name. Kenzy always gave her full name when they were out. It was the first time she had made up a name for her, though.

  Kenzy greeted them quite happily and was ready to talk a mile a minute. Hazel just stood there.

  "Wait, here is the boss," one of the guys said eagerly. "Let’s see what he has to say about Michelle."

  Hazel spun around to see the boss and her eyes connected with down-turned, dreamy eyes. He was tall and handsome, with graying sideburns. He looked really urbane and sophisticated and there was a girl on his arm—the party girl, Adele. She was simpering up at him like he was the next best thing to sliced bread. Her fiancé was nowhere in sight.

  He whispered something in her ear and she walked off, eager to do whatever bidding he had suggested.

  "Gary discovered Michelle by accident," one of the guys said eagerly.

  "Ah." The guy came closer, dressed all in black. He held out his hand. “Michelle, my name is Keith Decker. Yes you do have the look. Nice to meet you, Michelle."

  He held her hand a shade too long and then turned to Kenzy, who was all ready to discuss modeling terms before Hazel could confess that she was not Michelle and that she was not interested in modeling.

  *****

  Hazel got up in the morning. Her head was pounding.

  That was a memory!

  That was a memory!

  She could see it in her mind’s eye now. She grabbed the phone and scrolled to the picture blearily. Yes she had met Keith Decker before. Her heart joined her head, both of them pounding in a nauseating rhythm.

  Why hadn't Kenzy told her that she had met Keith Decker before?

  What was going on?

  She felt as if she was on the fringes of a big discovery.

  She staggered to the bathroom, an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had found Keith Decker fascinating; she hadn't been able to take her eyes off him for the remainder of the night.

  That much she remembered. She had developed a crush on him. Kenzy had teased her for the remainder of the evening that she loved older men. Grandpa lover.

  Was he...Did they....

  Was that why he took her son?

  Was that why Curtis had shown her the picture in the first place, to jog her memory? He had looked really strange when he handed her the photo.

  She closed her eyes tightly. She couldn't deal with this now.

  No. Not her.

  She was going to happily continue as if she didn't remember that piece of her past. She was going to let it slide. She didn't want to remember anything else. Her memories could stay where they were if this was what they were going to reveal. She was going to bury her head in the sand.

  She looked in the mirror at her mutinous reflection and winced. What on earth had she done?

  Chapter Nine

  Hazel, her sisters and Patricia met for lunch. She had wanted a place everybody could easily get to, considering that they had to battle lunch time traffic. Caitlin had suggested Mendy's, a restaurant that was right across from her building. It had a VIP section upstairs that was regularly used by business people. It was liberally littered with them when she got there.

  The buzz in the restaurant was almost too loud and she second guessed her choice of venue but it was already done. Brigid and Casey were already there, sitting at a table in the far corner.

  Before she could sit down Brigid declared, "You didn't sleep well last night did you?'

  "No." Hazel shook her head. "It's that obvious, huh?"

  "Yes but only because you are usually flawless and appear well rested. Don't worry about it."

  "Thanks for the compliment, B," Hazel said, sitting down across from them. "I had a pretty horrid night and I had to wake up at the crack of dawn for my decorators."

  "Remodeling huh?" Casey nodded. "That is well overdue. All of that dark furniture and closed windows made the house seem like a bat cave."

  "So what are you guys up to?" Hazel asked. "Update me."

  Brigid rolled her eyes. "Me, nothing interesting. I am barely juggling work and school. I am so waiting for the Christmas vacation."

  Hazel frowned. "Next year, I am bestowing some of my unearned wealth on you. You won't have to do work and school."

  Brigid beamed. "Thank you for thinking of me, sis, but you have to budget that dough wisely. You have a son now and an expensive townhouse to upkeep." She leaned forward and whispered, "And who knows when you will get your inheritance, if you get it."

  "Yes, there is that," Hazel nodded. "So much is going on that I almost forgot about that. Enough about me for now, though." She turned to Casey. "You are glowing. I don't need to know what you have been up to. I saw Luca just the other day and he was glowing too."

  Casey chuckled. "I love being married to him…what can I say? Apart from that, I got a job. I will start back at my old job part time for the new year."

  Hazel nodded. "Staying at home getting to you, huh?"

  "Yup, I realize that I don't like housewifery and the old workplace called just when I was about to climb the walls. Luca agreed that it would be a good distraction."

  "I'll soon follow you. I think I might have too much time on my hands to think." Hazel looked at both of them. "Do you realize that of the four of us, I am the one who has the least ambition? Casey is an accountant, you are becoming a doctor, Caitlin is doing journalism. I finished high school after a pregnancy and got a job with Baron because I was unemployable."

  "You have your chef certificate thingy," Casey pointed out sympathetically. "Not everybody was meant to be doctors and accountants and all of that. I wish I had your skills in the kitchen."

  "And even after all of that, you ended up being the rich lady of the manor," Brigid said dryly. "What brought on this little bout of self pity?"

  Hazel sighed. Trust Brigid to get to the meat of the matter. "I am in a bit of a dilemma."

  "One second, wait a second," Caitlin said, approaching the table with a briefcase and a bunch of magazines clutched under her arms. She sat across from Hazel. "Sorry I am late. Editor’s meeting. What dilemma?"

  "It's okay," Hazel said. "Well, first of all I got back a memory last night. I know it's a memory and not a dream because in the morning I knew it in here." She pointed to her head. "It really happened."

  "Okay," Caitlin said, "what was it?"

  "I think," Hazel cleared her throat, "I am not sure, I had a crush on Keith Decker."

  "Who is Keith Decker, one of Curtis' brothers?" Brigid asked.

  "No. Worse than that," Hazel took Casey's water and sipped it slowly. "It is his father."

  "No." Casey was the first to gasp. "Wow!"

  Hazel told them her memory and then watched as her sisters went through one incredulous expression after another.

  "Could he be Sebastian's father?" Caitlin asked what they were all clearly thinking.

  "I don't know," Hazel groaned. "I was in character that night as college student Michelle Brown. Maybe I went too far. Maybe I had an affair. Maybe... I don't know. Curtis said his father has a wandering eye for young girls.

  "He said his fiancé left him for his father. Maybe I was just as foolish. I can't believe it...I like Curtis. I really like him. Guys, you have no idea how much. How he can even look at me after knowing I was with his father..."

  "I am going to kill Kenzy," Brigid said through gritted teeth. "Next week, Monday, in the middle of class, I am going to rin
g her scrawny neck. She knew this, maybe she even encouraged it, that is why that two-faced...."

  "Wait," Caitlin said before Brigid could plot Kenzy's murder. "I think Kenzy knows something; I've always thought so but I don't think that Hazel would knowingly sleep with a married man and surely Kenzy is not to be blamed for Hazel's actions."

  "Maybe you didn't know that he was married," Casey offered.

  "Maybe..." Hazel said hesitantly. "He certainly wasn't acting it from the little that I can remember."

  "It makes a weird kind of sense," Brigid murmured. "He must have found out who you really are and then probably lied to his wife about you and they both adopted his own child. Sicko. Your amnesia must have worked to his advantage…the slime."

  "I wonder what he told Curtis for him to take Sebastian?" Casey asked softly. "Maybe Curtis doesn't know that he is taking care of his own brother."

  "Or maybe he does," Caitlin said. "You said Curtis' mother had cancer. Maybe Curtis thought the stress of caring for her husband’s bastard child would not help his mother’s recovery, and being the good son that he is, he took the offending baby, no offense to Sebastian, from the scene."

  Hazel hung her head. "And that was why he had me investigated so thoroughly."

  "Yes." Caitlin added, "Maybe but all of this is just speculation that we have just come up with from our fertile imaginations. It might not be that way."

  "I am a bad, bad person," Hazel murmured, a tear making its way down her cheeks.

  "No you are not, honey," Casey said hugging her sideways. "You made some bad decisions."

  "I am a rotten apple. Maybe I inherited it from Miss Judd." Hazel sniffed. "She is my grandmother, after all. If she could take an innocent baby and leave it at the mercy of strangers on a shopping center step, maybe there is evil in my blood."

  "Say that again," Caitlin squealed. "Say that again!"

  "That's why we are having lunch here with Patricia," Hazel said wanly. "I found out last night that I am no longer Jane Doe. I am a Benedict. Yay, me."