Just Like Yesterday

by Brenda Barrett

  Curtis wheeled the boat out onto the placid water. She could still see the Kingston Harbor in the distance, with all of its lights playing with the glassy dark water in the harbor, and the twinkling lights on the mountains that hovered in the background. It looked so pretty, almost unreal.

  She stood beside Curtis as he navigated them in the direction of Lime Cay.

  "So what happened next?" she asked, linking her hand with his as he steered the boat toward the cay. She could feel his muscles bunch and swell under her fingers and for a moment she felt a sense of familiarity, as if she had stood here with him before.

  He continued speaking and Hazel lost the feeling.

  "Well, the years passed and the father tried his utmost best to work Mildred into the ground. He gave her to one of his slave studs to mate. He wanted her to be as broken down and ugly as possible so that when his sons came back they would not want her.

  "In the interim, she lost a leg, she was scarred by a bush fire and she had two children by one of the slave studs. The father sold the children. When Rich and Lando came back they were shocked at her condition. Gone was the beautiful sheen of youth and promise; in her stead was an ordinary oldish-looking, rundown slave girl.

  "Rich recoiled at what had happened to Mildred. Where there was love, or what he thought was love, it unfolded into a curious revulsion. He chastised himself for contemplating loving that woman, that thing, but Lando... He didn't see her scars or her one leg or the heaviness of her body or the fact that she was a slave. He saw the woman that he had loved, that he had been destined to love, and he chose her."

  "Oh my," Hazel gasped and held his hand. "That's so sweet. I mean really sweet. So they lived happily ever after?"

  "As best as you can live happily ever after in a time of slavery." Curtis looked at her. "They lived together on a modest plot of land in the same area. He was shunned by his people and he changed his name to his mother’s maiden name at his father's request. They didn't want him to taint the Tulsa family heritage anymore. Mildred loved him and bore him two sons; one of them was my great grandpa."

  "For real!" Hazel said, her eyes shining. "Are you serious?"

  "Yes. It was a true story." Curtis laughed at her expression. "The moral of the story is, even though the name Decker was acquired by my ancestor, there is still a curse on the men in my family. We seem to love only one woman, no matter what. We think about her all the time, even with years between us or events between us."

  Hazel swallowed.

  "Does that clear up whatever it is you are thinking about me?" Curtis held her around her waist and pulled her closer. "I love you with no conditions."

  Hazel snuggled against him and listened to the sea slap against the side of the boat and felt the cool wind against her cheeks, waiting for him to say more, but he just held her tighter.

  "I love you too, Curtis, even though I can't remember our history."

  He sighed. "Good. So can I invite you to my parents for Christmas dinner? Everybody is coming over and they know that you and I have reconnected."

  Hazel recoiled. "But I..."

  "No buts," Curtis said. "You are my Mildred and I want you with me this holiday."

  Chapter Twenty

  It was two days to Christmas and the Decker family get-together and Hazel was wondering why she had agreed to go. She was so restless about the whole situation that she called her sisters for counsel. She called Caitlin first but she was busy preparing a party for her magazine staff. Plus, she was mad at Brigid for stealing her thunder by marrying before her and on a beach.

  "Now, I have to wait on her to come back from her honeymoon to get married. That's in the new year," Caitlin said after unburdening herself on Hazel. "Isn't that unfair?"

  "Well," Hazel murmured, "you could get married without her."

  Caitlin gasped. "And not have one of my sisters at my wedding? The pictures would be all wrong. Are you smoking crack?"

  "No, I might be an adulteress, a teenage-pregnant high school dropout but I would never smoke crack," Hazel muttered. "I have issues too. I am invited to the Deckers for Christmas Day."

  "Cool." Caitlin cut in before she could continue. "Todd and I will be going to his parents’ place. It's good that you are spending time with Curtis."

  Hazel groaned. "You don't understand."

  "I have to go Hazel," Caitlin cut her off before she could complain further. "I have a situation."

  Hazel sat down on the bed, an unhappy slouch to her shoulders. She dialed Casey's number and was greeted chirpily.

  "Casey Lawson."

  "Casey Lawson," Hazel smiled, "can you talk?"

  "Ever since they fixed my larynx," was the cheeky reply. "What's up?"

  "Curtis invited me to his parent's house for Christmas! I don't think I should go. I mean, it's crazy. I'd have to face his father and his mother. Sebastian will be there. It would be like a messed up all in the family kind of situation."

  "Ah," Casey murmured, "sounds messy."

  "Yes. Gosh," Hazel groaned. "Help me."

  "What you need to do," Casey said, "is to face the music. Just go. You can't remember a thing. If Curtis is inviting you that means he is fine with the situation. Though I have no idea how he could be. It's really messed up. You need some germs."

  "What?" Hazel asked, puzzled

  "Yes, like the flu or something, and then lie low. Go visit a hospital in the out-patient wing and sit near a stuffy-nosed, sneezing, really sick person and inhale their air like you are thirsty. The flu is going around this holiday season; you're sure to find someone with it."

  Hazel shuddered, imagining the scenario. "No thanks."

  "That's all I got," Casey said, "but if you do decide to go remember this...you are twenty-two. Nearly six years ago you made some decisions that may not have been the best but you are nothing like that girl now. You have grown, you have matured, you are responsible. You are god fearing, you love people, you love your son. You are a better Hazel than you were."

  Hazel cleared her throat. "You think so?"

  "Oh yes," Casey said feelingly. "I grew up with you. I love you like crazy and I know you are not perfect, but you are a very good person. You always end up doing the right thing. I might not know what you got up to that summer and you might not know either, but I am confident that however your situation played out you did the right thing in the end."

  Hazel gasped. "How can you say that? I was probably dating both Keith and Curtis."

  "I know you," Casey said, "and it just doesn't sound like you. And even if you did date a married guy and had his baby and then dated his young handsome son on the side... It happened, and you'll have to live with it for the rest of your life especially if Sebastian is in your life. So you might as well deal with it now. Go to the party; stop the fear."

  "What will you be doing?" Hazel said, chewing over what Casey had said to her.

  "The Lawsons are having a whole day thing too," Casey said, "I am going to that."

  "We might never share the holidays again," Hazel whispered, "everybody with their own family."

  "Rubbish," Casey chuckled. "We can plan something for next year—the four of us and our husbands."

  "You foresee me being married by next year?" Hazel clutched the phone tighter. Of course she wanted that, she wanted to be a family with Curtis and Sebastian with all her heart.

  "Of course," Casey said. "Curtis deliberately seeks you out and is willing to share your son. Curtis hangs out with you, Curtis takes you to dinner, Curtis wants you to be with him. I think it is a foregone conclusion."

  *****

  And that was the foremost thought in Hazel's head when she hung up the phone. Curtis wants you to be with him. He had told her that he loved her despite whatever it was that she had done.

  She was his Mildred.

  Hazel got up with new purpose; she needed to go to that party. Curtis told her that story about Mildred because he wanted her to be confident and secure in his love.

 
She owed Helen a visit, and then maybe she would chance the busy shopping malls and find herself a new dress, but first she would stop by Helen’s. She needed to spend some time with her and let her know that she wouldn't be around for the Benedict family dinner. Helen had a strange calming effect on her.

  When Hazel drove up to the Benedict mansion and went around to Helen's section she found her gardening. She had no idea that Helen had any other interests but her art.

  Helen was in a broad hat and gardening gloves. She hugged Hazel as soon as she neared her; her face was glowing.

  "I am feeling really good," Helen gushed. "The doctors changed my medication and the doses. I feel clearer than I have been in years."

  Hazel smiled at her. "That is good to know."

  "So how are you?" Helen asked. "You look troubled."

  "I was," Hazel said, "but not anymore, not really."

  Helen nodded. "Gardening is therapeutic, but not as good as art. It will clear your remaining cobwebs and of course we can talk."

  Hazel looked down at herself. Her jeans and t-shirt could get dirty; both of them could be washed. She grabbed a garden glove from a basket that Helen indicated and both of them worked in companionable silence as she worked to get the remaining cobwebs from her mind.

  *****

  Christmas day arrived with a brief shower of rain in the morning. Curtis and Sebastian came over to her place quite early. She had barely gotten out of bed before the doorbell rang.

  She opened the door and grinned at them.

  "Hello, my handsome men."

  Sebastian hugged her tightly and then headed off into the direction of the kitchen.

  "I haven't prepared anything yet," Hazel called after him. He didn't slow down as he headed for the refrigerator as if he was starving.

  She looked at Curtis, who was still standing in the doorway, his hands in his pants pockets. His shirt was unbuttoned just the two top buttons but it gave a hint of the strong column of his throat.

  He waited for her to meet his eyes and when she did she felt a heady sense of electricity pass between them.

  "Good morning." His mouth curled in a smile and she smiled back at him.

  "Good morning."

  He stepped over the threshold of the door and closed the door behind him. When he spun around she was still frozen to the same spot.

  All of yesterday she had thought up some very creative arguments for not having to go to this Christmas brunch with the Decker clan. But now words failed her. She didn't know who moved first. He gathered her into his arms and inhaled her hair deeply.

  "You smell like your favorite green apple shampoo."

  "I am not going to ask how you know that." Hazel sighed in his neck. "Do I have to go?"

  "Yes," Curtis whispered, "you do. Sebastian is looking forward to it."

  "Why can't we just drop him off and then come back here?"

  Curtis chuckled. "Because it wouldn't be right; they are my family too and they'll be yours in a couple of weeks."

  "What?" Hazel whispered, "is there a proposal somewhere in there?"

  Curtis smiled at her. "Yes, Hazel. Will you marry me and bear my burdens?"

  Hazel chuckled. "I saw that cartoon too. I am not sure that I should marry you without knowing all the facts first."

  Curtis kissed her hard and then released her. "Fact one, we love each other."

  "We do." Hazel trailed behind him as they headed to the kitchen.

  "Fact two," Curtis said, "there is this little guy here who is drinking your orange juice straight from the carton. He needs both of us in his life."

  Sebastian gulped the juice and then whined. "It's almost done, Dad. I didn't think it would make sense to get a cup."

  "Fact three." Curtis sent her a hot look. "I want more than one kid. Maybe we can try for one that doesn't look so much like a Benedict."

  Hazel sat down on a kitchen stool and laughed. "Really, now?"

  "Yes," Curtis nodded, "the sooner the better."

  *****

  The Christmas party was at the Deckers’ residence in Stony Hill, a few minutes’ drive up into the hills from where Rizzle was. The farther they climbed the cooler it got and Hazel was glad for the thick black shawl that she had thought to carry. Even with the car window half cracked and the weak sunlight hitting her in the face she figured that her shawl would be inadequate once they reached Villa Caelum.

  When they drove through the thick wrought iron gate Hazel's first reaction was a strange sense of déjà vu.

  "I have been here before!" She looked at Curtis. "Haven't I?"

  "Yes," Curtis nodded, "and you asked me what Caelum meant."

  "So I came with you," Hazel breathed a sigh of relief, "not with Keith Decker? What does Caelum mean?"

  Curtis grinned. "You know when you remember you are going to have this information twice?"

  Hazel grinned. "Okay, fine. I can live with that."

  "Caelum means heaven or sky and since the house is perched on the top of the hill, my mother thought that it was so close to the sky so they called it Villa Caelum."

  It appeared around a bend in the driveway, a sprawling single story dwelling with chimneys.

  "Are you kidding me?" Hazel laughed when she got out of the car. "Chimneys in Jamaica?"

  "It gets mighty cold up here," Curtis laughed. "Truth is, I have never seen them use it."

  Sebastian hopped out of the car and ran inside, calling at the top of his voice, "Grandma! Grandpa!"

  Curtis held her hand in his tightly. "It will be a fun time, you'll see."

  And it was. The awkwardness she thought would be present when she entered the busy household was not there. Oliver, the oldest son, was there. He was in the process of bench pressing a squealing Sebastian when they entered what Hazel could only describe as a great room. It had high ceilings, all done in some type of varnished wood.

  When he saw Curtis he put down Sebastian and headed for him.

  "Don't think I can’t bench press you too." Oliver's face was wreathed in smiles.

  Curtis took a step back "I don't doubt it, Major Decker. Good to see you, man."

  Oliver grabbed him in a tight hug and slapped his back. He then turned to Hazel and pumped her hand firmly.

  "The famous Hazel. Glad you stopped by."

  Brent, the second brother, came behind him and the friendly greetings were repeated. Brent's wife, Amy, who was at the piano playing, got up and greeted Hazel. She was a plump girl with a lovely smile. Hazel immediately warmed to her.

  "I am playing requests. I am tired of playing Oliver's pop songs." Amy grinned at her. "Do you have any?"

  Hazel nodded. "Always on My Mind."

  She glanced at Curtis, who winked at her.

  "That's a good one," Amy said and then headed to the piano again. "Sebastian, your cousins are in the nursery."

  Sebastian didn’t have to be told twice. He headed off to the nursery, quite confident as to where it was.

  And then there was Wendy. She greeted Hazel with a gracious hug. She was dressed in a green dress and red accessories and she smelled like the warm vanilla scent from the Bath and Body Works line of personal care products. Hazel recognized the scent because she loved it too.

  Wendy stepped back quickly. She was taller than Hazel had anticipated and slim. She had her hair cut low and dyed in a reddish brown color.

  "Welcome, Hazel," she said, smiling. "I am very grateful that you could join us for the holiday."

  "Where's Dad?" Curtis asked.

  "In his study." Wendy waved her hand toward the passageway. "He has some ridiculous bet with Oliver about some past fishing event and the proof is in a picture he cannot find."

  Curtis nodded. "Oh, the Blue Marlin. It was 190 lbs."

  Oliver clapped his hands. "I told him. He is insisting that it was 250 lbs."

  "The 250 pounder was Joe's fish," Brent piped in. "Dad is losing his memory."

  The conversation moved to fishing and Hazel sat down and listen
ed, soaking up the family atmosphere while looking at the brothers. Curtis and Brent were more alike than Oliver; Oliver resembled his mom with her wide cheekbones and generous mouth.

  When Oliver started on his army stories, Amy stopped playing and drifted nearer. They listened in awe to some of his hair-raising stories and then Keith Decker came from the office, a pair of glasses on his nose bridge, and a picture in his hand.

  "I knew it." He waved the picture. "This is the proof!"

  He looked the same as he did a couple of years ago. Maybe a little more gray on his sideburns but he was still fit looking, not a wrinkle in sight. How old was he now? Fifty-six? Hazel waited to see if she felt anything. No crush, nothing. How could she have felt that way about him when Curtis was in the same room?

  Not even the glimmer of a feeling was in her for Keith Decker now. And she had been intimate with him? The thought made her nauseous.

  He saw her and smiled widely. "Hazel, glad you could make it. Curtis said he wasn't sure that you would come by."

  Hazel smiled, her facial muscles not quite obeying her, but she did her best.

  How could he just stand there and pretend that he wasn't Sebastian’s father? And how could they all be so relaxed? What kind of weird family are they?

  She lost her feeling of well being as soon as he entered the room. She was never a good actress and she never really got back that feeling that she could endure through the rest of the party without feeling like a stupid cow. Neither did her mood improve when Sebastian and his cousins, Yanique and Reece, joined them for the delicious seven =-course meal.

  She tried to avoid looking at Keith Decker. He had no such problems with her though. The man kept trying to drag her into whatever conversation he had going. He was treating her as if she was some sort of old friend.

  She declined to join in a game of World Domination and instantly regretted it when Wendy declined as well and came and sat beside her.