Hell On An Angel (Fated Love Book 2)

by Lauren Firminger

  Finally, Michael broke the silence. “Maddie, I know why you came here to see me, but I just can’t give you the answers you want. I’m sorry.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks and frowned. “Why not? You told Hannah if I came to you, you’d tell me.”

  “I know I did, but the longer I thought about it, the more I decided that you should just leave the past where it is.” He looked over at Tim when he said that, and it took everything I had not to do something I would regret later.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean, Michael?!” asked Tim.

  “It means, Timothy, that if Maddie had a brain, then she’d put as much distance between you and your family as she could and leave you in the past where you belong!”

  Tim took a step toward him and I put myself between them.

  “You have no right to comment on what you know nothing of! You have never had a relationship, or been in love, so don’t stand there and pretend you know anything about it!”

  “Hard to find someone who will put up with the baggage your niece brings to your life. You were the ultimate cock block, Maddison.”

  I blinked and felt Tim pull me against him. “What did you just say to me?”

  “I only have one regret in my life, and that was not letting Hannah be your legal guardian. My stupid brother made me promise if anything ever happened to him, I would take care of you.”

  I shook my head, dumbfounded. Did he really just say that, or was that my imagination? I could feel myself shaking - or maybe it was Tim - from anger, and all I could do was blink.

  “I thought for sure I could get you hospitalized after Tim was taken away, but no. Jasmine and her saint of a mother had to come to your rescue and pick up the pieces of poor, pathetic Maddison all over again. Me, I was tired of picking up those pieces. I am now. I won’t tell you why I sent your letters back so you can get on with this train wreck.” He pointed between me and Tim and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

  “Go to hell!” I pulled away from Tim and ran. I ran away from the man who had been a second father to me. The man who had just shattered everything I had ever believed in. The man who had just hurt me worse than anyone in my life. I heard Tim call out to me, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be near that man. I needed to get away. I didn’t care about the burn in my chest as I pushed myself faster. I didn’t care that everyone around me was giving me strange looks as I ran past with tears streaming down my face. I just wanted to pain to stop. I needed the pain to stop. My heart was hurting so fucking bad right now. How could he say those things to me? Where had all that anger come from? Was I really that bad of a child that he now hated me?

  I didn’t slow down when I got back to the hotel. I ran for the stairs and took them two at a time. Reaching our floor, struggling to breathe through the exhaustion and the tears, I pulled the door open and walked down the hall to our room. Unlocking the door, I let myself in and moved to the bathroom where I shut and locked the door behind me. I needed a release. I needed to stop the pain the only way I knew how. I needed to forget tonight ever happened. God, I hoped Tim forgave me for this. I moved to my makeup bag and took out the razor I had. I took the blade from it and after wiping the tears away with my hand, I moved to sit on the floor. Closing my eyes, I pressed the blade to my skin and moved the blade towards me. It stung, but it was a good sting. I moved the blade to my other hand and pressed it into my skin and slid the blade towards me.

  Dropping the blade down beside me, I closed my eyes as I tried to bleed out the pain.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Ghost

  After leaving Michael with a piece of my mind, I ran after Maddie. She needed me right now. I got back to the hotel and took the elevator up to our floor. Normally, I would have opted for the stairs, but I needed to get up there quick. I opened the door to our room and looked around for Maddie. “Baby?” I frowned when she didn’t answer. Taking out my phone and finding her number, I tried to call her.

  When I heard her phone ringing in the bathroom, I moved to the door. “Maddie?” I tried to turn the handle. I didn’t have a good feeling right now. “Maddison!?” Still no answer. I moved away from the door and using all the force I could, I shouldered the door open. My eyes fell to the floor and saw Maddie sitting there, her blood dripping from her arms. I cursed. I cursed Michael for hurting her, I cursed myself for not running after her, I cursed her for doing this to herself and letting that asshole win. I cursed Jasmine for not telling me this bit of information about her. For her to do this, it wouldn’t have been her first time.

  Moving to scoop her up, I sat her on the counter and cupped her cheeks. “Maddie, baby, can you open your eyes for me?” they fluttered, but nothing. I pressed my fingers to her pulse. It was there, but it was slow. I took my phone and dialed 000 and put it on speaker while I grabbed some towels and pressed them against her wrists. I had to try and stop the bleeding somehow. When I finally got someone on the phone, I shouted, “I need an ambulance at Room 69, Floor 4, 123 George Street, Sydney. My girl has cut her wrists and is bleeding really badly! I am trying to stop the bleeding, but she is unresponsive. I need someone here now!”

  “I need you to calm down for me, sir, we have an ambulance on its way to your location. Has she tried to take anything?”

  “Not that I know of, I got back to our room and found her like this.”

  “How deep are the cuts?”

  I pulled one of the towels away and tried to clean away the blood long enough to try and see how far down it went. “I don’t think she has hit a vein, but the blood isn’t slowing down.” I heard Maddie groan and try to move. “Shh, baby, it’s okay. I have an ambulance on the way. You’re gonna be okay. I promise, baby.”

  The minutes felt like hours while I waited for the ambulance to show up. I stayed on the phone while I held the towels to her wrists when I finally heard the door. Seeing the ambos coming in, I sighed with relief. I moved out of the way so that they could work on her but stayed close. God, I hope I wasn’t too late. I picked up my phone and slipped it back in my pocket as they got Maddie ready to move. They were worried that she may have done more damage than I thought. I followed them out and ran to get the elevator and held the doors open for them. Moving in and moving to the top of her head, I ran my fingers through her hair. I knew I needed to call Hannah and Jasmine but I needed to know that she was okay before I could think about anything else. We stepped out of the elevator once we reached the bottom. Once they got her loaded into the back of the ambulance, I climbed in and they got on the road.

  The medic sitting in back checked on her bandages and she was still bleeding quite badly. “What have you done, baby...” I rested my forehead against her and closed my eyes as I tried to stop the tears that were now blurring my vision. I couldn’t lose her. I just got her back. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end, we were supposed to grow old together somewhere surrounded by our children and grandchildren. Not like this. Not because of some asshole who didn’t give a crap about her.

  We arrived at the hospital not long after making the call and they got her into emergency. I watched them wheel her away and rubbed my hand over my chest and said a silent prayer that she would be okay. Selfish maybe but I really needed my Snowflake to be okay. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Hell, even when we were old and grey I wouldn’t be ready to say goodbye. I want our end to be like that couple in the movie, The Notebook that she had made me watch once.

  A nurse came over to me, “We are doing everything we can for your, wife.” I just nodded and didn’t correct her. I would need to be family or next of kin to find out any information. Right now, I was all she had. This was just cementing my decision though. As soon as the doctor gave her the all clear, I was taking her back home to the states. She needed a change of scenery and I needed to put as much distance between her and that asshole as I could get.

  The minutes ticked on by as I paced the waiting room for an update. I had no idea what was tak
ing so long. Or was it only taking a long time because I was so anxious? I wasn’t entirely sure. Deciding I couldn’t just wait for news, I had to get some answers from Jasmine. Taking my phone from my pocket I pulled her number up and tapped my finger on her name and waited for her to answer, rubbing my hand over the back of my neck.

  “Hey, how’d it go? Get any answers from Michael?” asked Jasmine when she answered.

  “Jasmine, when did the cutting start?”

  “What?” she asked.

  “You heard me, when did Maddie start cutting herself?”

  “Uh… are you really sure you are prepared for that answer?”

  “Yeah, well, a fucking heads up would have been nice when I asked about how bad things had gotten, Jasmine!”

  “Tim, what’s happened?”

  “What do you think’s happened Jasmine?”

  “Tim, talk to me. I have no idea what’s going on here. You’re scaring me!”

  I let out a breath and moved to front doors of the hospital and stepped out into the night air. “She’s in hospital. I have no idea what’s going on. I got back to the hotel room and saw her blood soaked arms and tried to stop the bleeding but it wouldn’t stop. They think she has hit a vein in her arm. Why didn’t you tell me it had gotten that bad Jasmine?! I need to know that kinda shit!” My hand clenched into a fist and I really badly wanted to go and track Michael down. I shouldn’t be mad at Jasmine. This was Michael’s fault.

  Jasmine sighed in my ear, “It started as a release. When the doctor diagnosed her with depression, it was after we found out about the cutting. She would never cut her arms though; it was always somewhere we couldn’t see it. I caught her one day. She wanted to bleed out the pain. It was her way of letting everything out without actually talking about it. She wouldn’t cry either. All the pressure would build up so that was how she let it all out… But Tim? What happened? I thought you were supposed to be meeting with Michael?”

  “Yeah well Michael happened, didn’t he! He told Maddie that she was never gonna get the answers that she wanted. He went on to tell her that he should've let Hannah be her legal guardian. She was his biggest regret, and that she was the reason he was single. No one wanted him with the baggage of a niece who was damaged goods. I should have run after her when she took off. I gave Michael a piece of my mind then went to get her. I should have gone back earlier. I could have gotten to her in time. I should have been there to stop her! I can’t lose her Jazzy, I just can’t.”

  “She’ll be okay. She is tough...”

  “I hope you’re right Jazzy. I really fucking do.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Maddie

  It was a strange feeling, hearing voices around me but not being able to open my eyes. Is this what it felt like right before you died? I could hear the pain in Tim’s voice when he was calling for help. I want to tell him how sorry I was, but I just couldn’t open my eyes when he asked me too. I tried for him. I really did. Then I thought of all the pain that Michael caused me when he’d said those things too me. I didn’t want to open my eyes and be back in that place. I should never have gone back. I should have just been happy with having Tim back in my life and stayed where I was.

  When I heard new voices and no trace of Tim, I knew it must be coming to the end. Until, I heard his voice again. I felt his touch against my skin. I could hear him begging me to open my eyes, so for him, I tried one more time.

  My eyes managed to open this time, but I quickly closed them again because of the bright lights. I tried to lift my arms but they were so heavy. “Tim?” I whispered his name and squeezed the hand that was in mine. I opened my eyes again and hoped that my eyes adjusted to the light quickly. I shouldn’t have worried though. As soon as my eyes opened, Tim’s hand was resting against my cheek and he was kissing me softly.

  “You ever do that to me again, Maddison Lee, and I swear to all that is holy, you will be in big trouble.” He told me. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and tried to blink them back. I hadn’t meant to hurt him. I just wanted to stop the pain, is all. Would he ever understand that? No one else seemed too. I rested my head against Tim’s and closed my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  He shifted me a little, laid down in the bed and wrapped his arms around me. I nuzzled into his neck and just let his arms comfort me. “I’m sorry I let you down, Maddie. I should have been there for you, but I wasn’t. I am so sorry, Snowflake. I really really am.” I swallowed and gave myself a minute to try and keep the tears away long enough to get out this next sentence.

  I opened my eyes and looked into his, “You did not let me down. You saved me, and I will forever be grateful for that. I shouldn’t have turned to cutting. I thought I was past that. I am so sorry you had to find me like that. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you. I just… I just wanted to bleed out the pain. After you left, I didn’t know how to deal with that pain. Losing dad was one thing. I cried when we lost him and couldn’t stop, but after I would cry, I would feel a little better. After you left, I couldn’t cry. I wanted to more than anything, so that I could feel something, but I just couldn’t. So one day while everyone was gone, I went into the bathroom and got a razor blade; it all went downhill from there. I did it almost every day until Jasmine played hooky from school and came over. She caught me and told Hannah and Michael. They made me see a doctor and start to get help for my depression. Apparently to them, my way of coping was sick and they just couldn’t see my side of it. I’m sorry I kept this from you. I really am. If I thought that was going to happen, then I never would have agreed to go and see him. That was the last thing I ever thought I would hear from him.” I let out a sigh and slumped against him.

  “I get it, Snowflake, I really do; or well I am trying to, but please, please don’t ever do that again. I am very selfish and want to keep you all for myself. I am not ashamed to admit that. I lost you once and I just can’t lose you again. I love you. I hope that one day we can grow old together and die side by side in bed just like this. Just like a Nicholas Sparks movie. That can’t happen without you though.”

  I couldn’t help the smile as Tim brought up Nicholas Sparks movies. I remember the bitching he did when I made him watch ‘The Notebook’ with me. He did it, and God, did I love him for that. I made him a compromise though. If he watched one of my chick flicks, then I would watch one of his action movies. I picked The Notebook and he picked Transformers. I never confessed to him that I preferred his movie to mine.

  “If I remember correctly, I had to sit through you drooling over Megan Fox in Transformers, mister.”

  He chuckled and poked my side. “You did. I’ll give you that. You know she has nothing on you though, Snowflake.”

  I opened my eyes and raised a brow and he just winked at me. “You are such a liar Hayes, but I love you.”

  He kissed my nose. “I love you too Lee. Till the sun burns out.”

  I moved my hand to brush my fingers down his cheek and along his jaw.

  Before either of us could say anything the door to my room opened and the doctor came in. At least I think it was my doctor. I don’t know, I was quite out of it. “Ah, she’s awake. Your husband was quite worried about you.”

  I turned to look at Tim and mouthed “Husband?” with a raised brow. He just nodded and I knew. To get any information on me, he would have to be family or next of kin. I would have to fix that so that he was.

  “I will have to make that up to him.”

  The doctor nodded and took a seat. “Maddison, do you understand what happened tonight?”

  I nodded softly and stayed quiet. “Do you have a history of mental illness?”

  I nodded again and hid my face in Tim’s neck. “I was diagnosed with depression at the age of eighteen.”

  The doctor wrote down some notes and spoke again. “How did you manage it?”

  I frowned, keeping my face hidden in Tim’s neck. I tried to relax as he rubbed my back. “I was on antidepressants until I was taken off th
em a few years ago.”

  “Do you speak to anyone?”

  I sighed. “I see a therapist once a week, except when I feel the need to increase it.”

  “Do you think you should have increased it before now?”

  It was then that I couldn’t take it anymore. I sat up. “No, because up until a couple of hours ago everything was fine. Hearing that you are your Uncle’s biggest regret and that he wished he’d given you up kinda takes its toll on you.” He wrote some more notes and I really wished I could have smacked him.

  “Okay, you did some damage to one of your wrists. We managed to stop the bleeding but you lost a lot of blood.” I slumped back against Tim and laid my head against his shoulder. “Before I can release you, you’ll need to speak to one of the psychologist here. Then, report back in a fortnight. From there we'll check to make sure you are attending your assigned appointments.” I swallowed hard and nodded.

  “Uh, Doctor, that won’t be possible.” The doctor raised his brow and so did I.

  “And why not, Mr. Hayes?”

  “Because I’m taking my wife back to the U.S. with me. We leave the second she is discharged. I can arrange for a referral from my Army psychologist so that Maddison is seeing someone, if that is what it’s going to take to take her home. I can’t have her here anymore. It’s not safe for her here. She will be on the first plane out of here.”

  The doctor turned and looked at me and asked, “Is that what you want, Maddison? Change can be tough on a person.”

  I took Tim’s hand in mine. “I have never been more sure that I have wanted anything in my life.” I linked my fingers with his and turned to kiss his jaw.

  “Alright, I will organize for our onsite psychologist to come and see you. If she deems you okay, I will sign off on letting you out, but you have to make an appointment when you get back to the States as soon as possible. I will give you a referral from us.”