“How do you know you want me, Seth? You barely know anything about me.”
“A man knows, Allyson. What I see in you is a pure heart that has been tainted somehow. I don’t know how you got yourself in the situation you are in, but I would be willing to bet that right now, in this very moment, if you could turn back the hands of time, you would. You are more than what you give yourself credit for. So you should not be asking how I know I want you. You should be perpetually rehearsing in your mind all the wonderful reasons any man would.”
Was this guy some type of angel? Truly, he was too good to be true. No man had ever challenged me to think of myself in such a way. Most men were attracted to my outward beauty, and in turn I was attracted to their status. If they had money, they had me. But now I was inclined to believe that none of that truly mattered if you had love—and God.
“You are right. I should.”
“If you decide to never see me again, I want you to remember you are worth more than any amount of money that any man could ever give you. You are worth more than rubies or any other precious stone. You are worth more than a black card, red bottoms, or any designer shoe or dress. You are worth more than a quick lay. You are beautiful. You are wondrously made. I want you to believe that and know that. I want you to keep saying that until it becomes a part of you. Do you hear what I am saying to you?”
“Yes,” I said through tears.
He moved over closer to me and used his thumb to wipe my tears as they fell.
“You are too pretty to cry. You are too special to hurt.”
I leaned my head into his chest and cried like a baby. A part of me felt really bad for crying, because this night should have been about him, but his words were an emotional sedative. They soothed me.
“Thank you,” I finally managed to get out.
He lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. “Tell me . . . what are you dreams?”
“I don’t really have any. I thought the sum of life was not struggling financially, making sure my mother was not struggling, shopping, enjoying friends, and supporting whatever dream or goal my husband had.”
He shook his head in disagreement. “Nothing about what you said is a dream.” He leaned into the arm of the love seat and pulled me back against him. “You told me that once you wanted to be a nurse. Why have you not pursued that?”
“What is the salary of a nurse?”
“It varies depending on what type of nurse you become.”
“I can guarantee you that whatever the salary is, it is not enough to support the lifestyle I have and am accustomed to having.”
“That may be true. But you cannot put a price tag on a dream. A dream is worth going after even if it pays nothing.”
“No one can survive off of a dream.”
“I beg to differ. I survive off mine every single day. Carson Land was a childhood dream. I grew up in the country and decided I wanted to die in the country. People thought I was crazy building Carson Land back out here in the middle of nowhere. They said people would not come all the way out here to do business with me. They said I would never make enough money to maintain this place. They said all sorts of things. And I have consistently proved them wrong. This property makes money while I sleep. If I never worked another day of my life in the medical field, I could still maintain my lifestyle.”
“So why do you work in the medical field if you don’t have to?”
“Because it is not about what I have to do. I love what I do. Becoming a doctor was something else I dreamt of as a child. Truthfully, if I had died today, I would have died almost empty. I have done pretty much everything I ever wanted to do. I have accomplished most of what I wanted to accomplish.”
“What’s left?”
“Finding a woman to share it with. Do you think I enjoy living alone on hundreds of acres of land, in a twentysomething-thousand-square-foot house? Not at all. What good is any of this if I go to bed every night by myself?”
“If you think that’s bad, try going to bed with someone every night and still be alone.”
“You don’t have to. Life is too short to be unhappy.”
“Yeah, but I am comfortable. At least with my situation I know what I am getting—what I am guaranteed. My worst fear is being broke and destitute and unable to take care of my mother. I feel like my mother has had a hard enough life as it is, and the way she struggled to take care of me when my father left is something I will never forget. I remember all too well the sacrifices she made to make sure I had not only what I needed, but most things I wanted. Thus, I make no decisions about my life that do not include the consideration of my mother. I would never admit that to her, but pretty much all my decisions in my adult life has been based on her.”
“You must be an unbelievably sad woman.”
I leaned up and faced him. “What do you mean? I am not the happiest person, but I am not that sad, either. You make me sound like a charity case.”
“You don’t know how to make decisions for yourself. You have no idea what Allyson likes. You are so accustomed to catering to other people and what they want of you and from you. Can you imagine what it would be like to make selfish decisions for just one week?”
“No.”
“You should try it. For one week only, you should make all decisions based on what Allyson wants to do. Don’t worry about your husband, your mother, no one. Just you.”
“I would not even know where to start.”
“Don’t complicate it. It’s really simple. All you have to do is quit thinking of anyone but yourself. That does not make you a selfish person. It just means you know how to make sure you are happy while you are making others happy.”
“I hear you.”
“I want you to do more than hear me. I want you to do it.”
“I will try.” I lay back against him. He had argued a good case and had an excellent point.
“Good enough.” He played in my hair as we sat in silence.
“Seth, I am coming up to go over a few things with you for tomorrow,” Melanie said. I looked on the wall near the edge of the balcony and spotted the intercom. I shook my head, because I knew it was probably driving her insane to have to sit and wonder what he and I were doing.
Seth didn’t move. Instead, he continued our conversation as if she had never said anything. “What time do you want to go home in the morning?”
“I need to be home no later than ten. The thing is . . . how am I going to get there? My car is still at the hotel.”
“I already worked that out. I am going to have the chopper fly you into Charlie Brown Airport in Atlanta, and a car will be waiting on you there to take you to the St. Regis to get your car.”
“Seth, are you sure you want to go through all of that? I can always call someone to come and pick me up.”
“I am sure, and this is the end of this discussion. I will have Jeff, my pilot, be ready to pull up around eight.”
I had dated my share of wealthy men, but none of them had flown me anywhere on their private jet. Seth was really one of a kind.
“Yes, sir.”
“Girl, you better be careful with that kind of talk. That ‘yes, sir’ business will have me reneging on everything I said earlier about respecting you as a married woman. I am just a man, you know.”
“Really? I thought you were a superhero, because you sure have rescued me.”
Without even turning to look at him, I knew he was smiling. Good. I was glad to be able to make him smile after such a horrific day.
“Seth, did you hear me? I am getting ready to come up. Is that okay?” Melanie said, slicing into the romantic moment. What could she have to tell him that was so pressing?
“Let me go and see what she wants,” he said as he rose up. “Otherwise, she will just keep on.”
“Okay. I will go into the guest room so you two can have some privacy.”
“You don’t have to do that. Whatever she has to say, she can say in front of you.”
/> “But . . .”
“Allyson . . . not up for discussion,” he said authoritatively yet lovingly.
He pushed the intercom button to speak back to her. “Melanie, you can come up. I’ll unlock the elevator.”
“Unlock the elevator?” I asked.
“Yes. Every night when I come to bed, I stop the elevator from coming to the third floor.”
“What happens if someone needs to get to you?”
“Well, of course, there’s the stairs, but they hardly ever get used.”
“Gotcha.”
He unlocked the elevator, and in what seemed like seconds, Melanie was there. When she saw me, the muscles in her face tightened.
“Allyson, I didn’t think you were still up. Can’t sleep?”
“We were talking,” Seth answered for me. “What is so urgent that you had to talk to me right now?”
“Well,” she said, looking at me, “since the press conference is scheduled for really early in the morning, I wanted to discuss with you some notes our attorney sent over.”
Seth rubbed his hand over his head. “Are you serious? You came up here to go over some notes with me? After the kind of day I had, you want to further remind me of it by talking about some notes, Melanie? Really?”
Tears formed in her eyes, and panic swept across her face. “Seth, I am so sorry. I don’t know what has gotten into me. I seem to have been screwing up all evening. Maybe the stress of this day has gotten to me more than I knew. I was so worried about you—scared that something had happened to you. Since I was on vacation for the past few days, I did not know you had left town and had gone to Atlanta. When I first got the news that the clinic had been bombed, my world stopped rotating. For a minute I could not breathe.” She touched his arm. “Seth, I thought you were dead, and all I could think about were the things I wished I could have said to you.”
“That is really sweet, Melanie, and I really appreciate you being so concerned. I know you care deeply for me, and that is why I trust you.”
Ms. Todd’s words rang in my ears. I could see right through Melanie’s semi-declaration of love. I got the strangest feeling about her.
Melanie went on. “I am glad you are able to recognize and appreciate my efforts to do all I can for you, Mama Todd, and Carson Land. You guys are my life, and I haven’t the slightest idea what I would do without you.”
“Well, we feel the same way about you, Melanie. We are very blessed to have you.”
“Really? You mean that, Seth? Because I would go through anything and take down anybody to make sure that we hold on to our bond.”
“I know. But as for tonight, I just want to relax. I have no interest in rehearsing what is to be done tomorrow or rehashing what has gone on today. The only thing I do want you working on in the morning is arranging flowers to be sent to the families of my entire staff. I want you to find out if their families have insurance to give them a proper burial. If not, I want Carson Land to cover all their expenses. Additionally, I want a trust fund initiated in the names of each of their kids, and I want to donate all the money they will need in order to go to a college of their choice.”
“That is such a nice thing to do. That is why I . . .” She hesitated, refraining from completing her sentence. She was about to declare her love fully but remembered I was in the room. “Okay, I will get on this first thing in the morning. The press conference will begin promptly at eight o’clock. I will get up with the roosters, so if you think of anything else you would like for me to do, just let me know.”
“Thank you again, Melanie, for all your hard work and dedication to me and my family.” He leaned in and gave her a hug.
You would have thought she had reverted to being a high school teenager again with a crush on the most popular guy on the football team. I studied her. She was a pretty woman. She was not too tall in stature and had a shape like a video vixen. She had every right to be confident.
“You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that.”
“Great. Have a good night, Mel.”
Showing all her pearly whites, she turned and got back into the elevator. “I’ll see you in the morning. Sleep well,” she said as the door to the elevator closed.
“Well, that was interesting. Her declaring her love for you, and you declaring your appreciation for her. How sweet,” I commented.
A part of me felt a little jealous, but I knew I had no right to feel that way. I had grown accustomed to being the object of his affection, and hearing him speak fondly to another woman made me feel some type of way.
“You have no reason to feel jealous.” He had read my mind. “I said what needed to be said to get her to leave. She had no reason whatsoever for coming up here, other than to spy on us. I may pretend to be stupid, but I am far from it. So, even though I meant all that I said, I knew it was important that she hear the words now so she could relax.”
“So, for clarification, you said what you thought she wanted to hear at the moment so you could get her to go away?”
“Yep. That about sums it up.”
I turned and walked toward the bed. He was just like all the rest. I had to face it. I needed to face it. All men were pretty much the same. They were charming players, and all of them played a game of some sort. They might play on different courts, or even in different games, but they were still game players.
“You should not have played on that girl’s emotions like that. I truly believe she is in love with you, and you really need to be careful how you treat her. You know, women are extremely sensitive when it comes to the men they love. There is nothing we would not do.”
“What are you saying?”
“Nothing, other than for you to be careful and choose your words wisely. Women are capable of fixating on all kinds of things in their minds. Make sure you do not lead her on or give her reason to believe that the two of you can be more than you are. I had a talk with her earlier today, and she really believes she is going to be your wife one day.”
“So you were serious earlier, when you said that? She said that? Please tell me you are joking,” he said in disbelief.
“I vacillated with telling you, but yes, she said that and a whole lot more.”
“Wow. But I have never given her any reason to believe that,” he said. “I can understand someone having a crush on a person, but to create a false reality in your mind . . . that’s going a bit far.”
“Oh, I totally agree. Just be mindful that you refrain from feeding into her illusion. It could be the breeding ground for trouble.”
“I doubt that,” he said and laughed. “Whatever she feels, I am sure she will get over it once she realizes there is no chance on this side of Heaven that we will be together like that.”
“I pray so,” I said, but I had a feeling she was not the type of woman to take no for an answer without putting up a fight first.
In the pit of my stomach was a feeling.
And it was not a good one.
Chapter Seventeen
It was the most difficult thing I recall ever having to do. As the chopper left the ground, I felt as if I was leaving a part of me behind.
We had all gotten up at five, and at six, we had enjoyed a wonderful breakfast buffet with everything imaginable on it. The morning had got even better when Ms. Todd imparted more words of wisdom to me. But nothing could top the moment when Seth and I hopped on a golf cart, and he took me on a short tour of Carson Land.
We rode over the rolling hills, allowing the early morning mist to kiss our faces. The cool air filled our lungs as we went from one acre to another. We soon stopped to talk to the people who bred and fed the horses and the ones who took care of the cows. Seth called this part of the property Louvell’s,as it was named after his grandfather who had a passion for beautiful horses. I watched the meticulous care the staff was giving the horses, and I developed a new fascination for them. I made Seth promise to give me horse riding lessons if I ever came back to visit.
We continued on a little farther and stopped to chat with the staff who took care of the smaller animals—the roosters, chickens, and ducks. But it was not until we headed over to what was referred to as the Willie Jo Gardens (named after Ms. Todd) that his eyes began to light up. The garden was breathtaking. In one section, there were rows and rows of beautiful cabbage, tomatoes, collard greens, corn, and peppers. In another section, there were rows of strawberries, watermelon, and cantaloupe. I even saw grapevines and peach, plum, and apple trees. In the back were pecan trees. It was like a farmers’ market. The only thing he did not raise on his land was fish. It was remarkable. I would have never known that such an operation could generate so much revenue. My appreciation for Seth multiplied. That he not only had a vision of that magnitude but was also able to bring it to pass was altogether attractive and admirable.
If the morning was any indication of how the rest of the day would go, I was looking forward to it. As I rode in the chopper, I felt like a celebrity. The ivory leather seats against the hardwood panels were magnificent. Everything about this chopper screamed plush and luxury. I settled into my seat, closed my eyes, leaned my head back, and took in the moment as my chariot carried me home.
Because the night had run late and the morning had begun early, I found myself drifting off to sleep. However, no sooner had I traveled to the third realm of sleep than we landed.
“Ms. Allyson, it has been a pleasure transporting you to your destination today,” Jeff, the pilot, said. “Dr. Carson asked me to give you this.” He handed me an envelope.
I took the envelope from him and said, “Thank you.”
He helped me out of the chopper and walked me over to the waiting town car.
“Louie will transport you to the St. Regis to retrieve your car. Again, it has been a pleasure serving you. Have a good day,” he said, then turned to walk back to the chopper.
I got into the car and pulled my phone out of my purse just as it started to ring.
“Hello?”
“Thank God you answered the phone!” Byran exclaimed.
The panic in his voice instantly made me nervous. “Byran, is everything all right?” I asked hesitantly.
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