Walter pulled Lynne aside for them to pass without a word. Lynne was shocked and dismayed. It would be impossible to stop Walter talking about this, and if he did, George Dexter had a few more revelations up his sleeve. Now she would definitely have to leave. It was the only way.
They drove on in silence after she had pleaded with him to remain silent. Then, as they were within a few minutes of her aunt’s home she asked him to take her back. ‘I’ll go in and explain to her that I’ll come soon, but something’s happened and I can’t stay.’
‘You won’t persuade me to keep quiet this time,’ he said grimly. ‘He doesn’t deserve our silence after what he did.’ She saw the tight expression on his face and felt afraid.
The following morning, she wrote a note, telling Walter that if he said nothing she would come home, but if he started another round of his fight with George Dexter she would not. She picked up the case which was still packed for her visit and reached for her handbag. Dammit, she must have left it in Walter’s car with her warm coat. Now what was she going to do?
After a few minutes, during which she took cash from the various insurance books and the payments for the milkman and the baker, making a neat list of what she had done, she left the house. Walter could send her handbag on at a later date, there was no worry about that, but she had to leave today. He had to find her gone and know she meant it. There was no time to lose if she were to stop him threatening George and starting the worse scenario she could imagine.
A taxi took her to the village of Glyndwr and she knocked on the door of Church Cottage.
‘William,’ she said when he opened the door to her, ‘I’ve never once asked you for anything, but now I need some money to go away for a while.’
Without a word he went inside, leaving her standing there and came back with an envelope containing several one pound and ten shilling notes. ‘This is all I have,’ he said, handing it to her.
She took three pounds and handed the rest back to him. Then she went to the bus stop without looking back.
William turned to his wife and said sadly, ‘You know all this means we have to move again?’
Six
Leo looked at his mother and tried to tell her what was on his mind, but she smiled up at him, so trustingly he found it hard. How could he tell her he wanted to go away, stay in Cwm Derw for a week or two to keep an eye on the distressed Meriel? He had never left his mother before, not since his father and brother had died during the war. His three sisters had all left and were busy with their own lives and he had kept to the silent promise he’d made to stay and look after her, make sure she was never so lonely the memories would slide back and torment her.
She had never been in the house alone overnight and he knew the prospect frightened her. The time for her to cope with it had been immediately after his father’s death while she was coping with so much more but his concern was too great and now it was too late and he felt committed to being there for her.
To stay with her hadn’t been a difficult decision to make at the time. He hadn’t imagined how things would change. Now his feelings for Meriel made his chosen responsibility less easy to accept. Now he wanted to share his love and caring with Meriel. At present Meriel needed him more than his mother. How could he explain that?
‘Is something worrying you, Leo?’ she asked when he moved away from her and sat near the fire, his hand smoothing the lower part of his face, which she recognized as a symptom of anxiety.
‘Mam, how would you feel about my going away for a few days? You could invite Mabel Lyddiat to stay.’
There was a sharp intake of breath before she replied. ‘A holiday with friends?’
‘No, it’s Meriel. You know she’s found out she was adopted? It’s upset her quite a bit and she needs someone to talk to, someone whom she knows and trusts. I think I’m the right person.’
‘That’s a kind thought, Leo. She’d appreciate that, you could stay in Cwm Derw and take over while she has a break? Perhaps I could come with you? There’s bound to be a guest house near the office. You know the business and she would trust you to look after it. There’s nothing better than a few days away from routine when there’s a problem to sort.’
‘No, that wouldn’t be a good idea. Better to stay and face things.’
‘Yes, dear, you go and help her, stay a while.’
‘You wouldn’t mind?’ Her voice had risen slightly and he stared at her, seeing the fear she was trying to hide, knowing she was unable to face the silence of the empty house with its memories and ghosts. ‘No, Mam, on second thoughts I needn’t stay. Perhaps I’ll just go down each day and give her a chance to rest and think.’
‘Whatever you think best, Leo.’ He noticed the slight change as her voice slid back down to normal. ‘Whatever happens you must remind her of how much Lynne and Walter love her. That’s what makes or breaks a family. Love is the heart of a home, we all know that.’
‘I – I’m fond of Meriel. Very fond,’ he said, glancing at her.
She met his gaze and smiled. ‘Nothing would make me happier than knowing you had someone to love and care for. Meriel would be a perfect choice.’
‘Oh, there’s nothing like that, I just want to look after her while she copes with all this. She and I have never been more than friends.’
‘The best possible start, Leo. The perfect basis for love to grow.’ She hesitated a moment then said brightly, ‘I’ll be all right if you want to stay with her, she’s the one who’s important at the moment, I can understand that.’
He left the room, filled with embarrassment, and regret for saying too much. How could he even think Meriel would consider him as anything other than her father’s employee? There was the age difference for one thing, and the fact that familiarity had certainly bred indifference. The recent affection and closeness was nothing more than her appreciation of his help. If she thought of him at all it was as a kindly older brother.
The garden was looking good, he thought as he cut off the heads of a few dead pansies and pulled up the sad remnants of forgotten wallflowers, grown tall, hidden behind the rainwater butt. He wondered whether he could persuade Meriel to come and see the newly planted geraniums and petunias and admire the blossom-filled rowan, that gave height to the small plot. If he invited Lucy as well, perhaps he could talk to them, manage to persuade them to call and see Lynne and Walter, begin to ease away the pain. What a pity he had spoken of her to his mother, now she would be smiling at them in that special way and making everyone feel ill at ease.
When he reached the office he found Walter in a terrible state, walking up and down, making phone calls and slamming the receiver back into its rest with more and more fury. Leo said nothing for a while but as the calls came to an end he asked, ‘What’s happened, is Mrs Evans all right?’
‘How would I know‘? She went off yesterday and I’ve no idea where she’s gone.’ The man sank into a chair and hid his face with his hands.
Leo made tea and handed him a cup. ‘Tell me who you’ve tried and we’ll try to add to the list. Later I’ll try them. Perhaps she’ll speak to me.’
‘Why you and not me?’ Walter sounded belligerent but Leo was unperturbed.
‘Because for some reason you know and I don’t, it’s probably you she’s running away from, not me. Right?’
‘She blames herself for this trouble with Meriel.’
‘Look, Mr Evans, I don’t want to know the ins and outs of it, but let me help. Give me a list of the places you think she might be – all of them, including those you have tried. Think back on old friends, there are sure to be some you’ve missed.’ He had a thought. ‘Have you told Meriel her mother’s gone away?’
‘No, I don’t think she’ll care at the moment.’
‘Then I’ll call her.’ He looked at Walter for permission and, accepting the nod as agreement, dialled the office of Evans and Calloway.
Lucy answered.
‘Meriel isn’t here at the moment. I’l
l tell her you’ve called but I can’t promise she’ll ring back,’ she said doubtfully.
‘Tell her I’m on my way. No, tell her I’ll meet you both for lunch. Tell her I insist, will you?’ he asked, crossing his fingers with the optimism of a child. ‘Tell her it’s very important.’
For the next couple of hours he and Walter dealt methodically with the business calls, and going through the list of plans for that day regarding on-going purchases and sales. The few calls in the search for Lynne had resulted in no news. With a heavy heart Walter closed the office an hour after Leo left to meet Meriel, wishing he had gone with him.
Leo’s heart was racing as he parked the car near Meriel and Lucy’s office and he was afraid to look through the window to see whether both girls were there. Why had he dared to insist on Meriel being there?
He opened the door and saw a couple sitting on the customer side of the desk being attended by Lucy. Meriel was rearranging notices in the window and he was relieved when she smiled, put down what she was doing and came over to greet him.
He waited until the clients had gone then said simply, ‘Meriel, your mother has left home and your father is frantic. He has no idea where she can be. Can you offer any suggestions as to where she might be?’
‘Gone, without telling him where? Mam wouldn’t do that. Something awful must have happened.’
‘No, she packed her case and left. There’s been no accident or anything like that.’
‘But why has she gone?’
With a grim smile to take the sting out of his words he said, ‘You aren’t the only one affected by George’s announcement, remember. Your parents are devastated. You are their life and they’re terrified they’re going to lose you.’
‘They shouldn’t have lied.’ Meriel tried to revive her anger but the thought of her mother disappearing from her life softened the words into a whisper.
‘Let’s go and find some food,’ Leo said, putting an arm around her shoulders. ‘You and Lucy. Perhaps we’ll come up with the solution. She has to be with someone you know. I can’t imagine she’d go to strangers, can you?’
Lucy was reluctant to join them, but they both insisted and they went to the Ship and Compass and ordered sandwiches, none of them wanting anything more. Leo took out the list he had made of the people Walter had tried and who denied having seen Lynne. ‘It doesn’t mean she isn’t in any of these places, mind. It’s likely she has asked them to say nothing. But,’ he stated at Meriel, ‘if you tried, I don’t think she’d refuse to speak to you. So let’s go through the list and I’d like you to go back to the office and phone the most likely.’
Meriel smiled then, amused at the way Leo had taken charge. Impulsively she hugged him.
‘Yes, Boss,’ she said, taking up a sandwich and biting enthusiastically. With difficulty she added, ‘When I’ve finished this though. I’ve just realized I’m starving.’
Leo smiled, enjoying his new role as adviser. To Lucy, he said, ‘Will you manage if I take Meriel off while we find out where her mother is staying?’
‘Of course I will. Gosh, this is like living through a mystery film. Meriel is Celia Johnson, you are a very handsome Trevor Howard and me, well, I’m the retired nanny who follows you around and makes sure you eat regular meals, all your greens, and drink lots of milk.’
They all laughed and soon afterwards left to return to the office. The official lunch hour was not over, so while it was unlikely they’d be disturbed, Meriel started making calls. After four failures, she found her mother. Auntie Gladys didn’t have a telephone but her neighbour did and when Meriel rang she went at once to fetch her. Without any warning, Meriel found herself talking to her mother.
Both women were crying too much to make sense at first and Leo put a pencil in Meriel’s hand and urged her to write down the name and address. While they were still talking he went outside and from the red call box, phoned Walter to tell him where Lynne had been found.
Stubbornly, the anger still present, Meriel refused to close the office before five thirty as she had two appointments to keep and a message to this effect was sent to Walter. So it was after seven o’clock when the car carrying Meriel and Leo, followed by another driven by Walter, arrived at Auntie Gladys’s house.
It was Lynne who opened the door and ran to Meriel. She was clearly not expecting Walter and hesitated like a animal about to take flight. He held out his arms and said, ‘Lynne, my love, come home.’
In the moment that followed, Meriel felt superfluous but once the couple had hugged, arms came out to envelope her in the love that bound them.
Guessing he might be needed, but staying back almost out of sight, Leo waited until they separated and began to enter the house, then he stepped forward and offered to drive Meriel back to Cwm Derw later that evening. In her euphoric state, wildly happy to be reunited with her parents, Meriel hugged him and thanked him for what he had done to help. He held her for longer than the moment justified and knew the incident would remain with him for ever. A reminder of the love that could never be.
It wasn’t as easy as Meriel expected to persuade Lynne to return. Leaving her parents to talk, Meriel walked in the garden and talked to the lady she called Auntie Gladys, convinced a solution would be reached. When she went back inside it was clear that this was not the case. Lynne was adamantly refusing to go back home. She couldn’t understand why Lynne had left nor why it was so difficult for her father to persuade her to return. Gladys was tight-lipped, insisting the disagreement was between Lynne and Walter and concerned no one else.
Meriel wasn’t convinced. ‘All this must be a result of George Dexter telling me they’re not my real parents, so it has to be my concern. But I don’t understand why Mam insists the blame lies with her?’
Gladys smiled, patted her hand and said nothing.
Leo drove home after promising to return for Meriel at ten o’clock. His mother had prepared a meal of fish, chips and tomatoes and he ate without tasting any of it.
‘Is Meriel all right?’ his mother asked as she cleared the dishes. ‘Will you still need to go down to Cwm Derw?’
‘I think she’s forgiven her parents for not telling her, but she still needs some help.’ This wasn’t really true but he couldn’t give up the possibility of spending a little time with her. ‘I’ll go tomorrow, just for a few days.’
‘I’ll pack your case. Just a day or so, is it?’
‘Probably.’ He didn’t think he could justify staying for more than a couple of days. Meriel didn’t need him and Walter did. After such a distressing time, Meriel wasn’t the only one who needed a break. He guessed that if Walter had persuaded Lynne to go back with him, they would go away for the weekend to reassure each other everything was back to normal. ‘I have to be back for the weekend,’ he told his mother, and saw the smile of satisfaction she couldn’t hide. ‘I’ll arrange to telephone the corner shop with any news, they won’t mind passing on a message.’
‘Stop fussing, dear, just go.’ She laughed. ‘I’m not a child.’
‘Will you ask your friend Mabel Lyddiat to come and stay with you?’
‘She’ll be busy,’ she replied, waving the idea aside. ‘But talking about breaks, have you thought about where we’ll go this summer? I know we’ve been there quite a few times but I do like West Wales. Aberaeron, or perhaps Aberdovey, we can drive up into the mountains, it’s so beautiful.’
‘Wouldn’t you like to go with one of your friends for a change? A coach trip maybe? I’ll treat you both, how’s that? You’ll enjoy meeting new people. Tell you what,’ he went on when there was no reply, ‘tomorrow I’ll see what I can find out and you talk to Mrs Lyddiat and see what she thinks.’
‘I don’t think so, dear. I couldn’t share a bedroom with Mabel.’
‘That isn’t a problem, we’ll book two singles the same as when you and I go.’ Avoiding looking at her, he hummed cheerfully and went to deal with some household accounts on the pretext of being busy, until it was t
ime to go and meet Meriel.
The euphoria Meriel felt at finding her mother swiftly faded; the urgency of her parents’ discussion, huddled together excluding her, was a reminder of how she had been deceived and reinforced her belief that there were other secrets untold, and she sat as far away from her parents as possible in the small room in the cottage where her ‘Auntie’ Gladys lived. A friend of her parents since before she had been born, Gladys had been an unofficial auntie to Meriel all of her life. Now she felt distrustful towards her as well as her parents. Their conversation made it clear she had also known and said nothing. Somehow the secret was worse than the knowledge.
She felt let down by those she loved and wondered if she would ever feel confident again. Those who knew about her adoption would have discussed it while she was blissfully ignorant, as a baby, a child and as a grown woman. The thought made her feel naked and exposed.
The revelation about her adoption had been a shock but she had the feeling there was more to come. Why was her mother finding it so difficult to go back with her father? What was she blaming herself for? Her mind was tumbling with possibilities, all of which she discarded as being too fantastic. It was a relief when Leo arrived and she could leave. She was more demonstrative than usual, thankful for his reassuring presence, grateful for having him as a loving, trusted friend. She hugged him some more when he spoke to her parents and reminded them that home was the place where they could spend time and talk things through and finally persuaded Lynne to go back with Walter.
She didn’t say much on the way back to Badgers Brook, the confusion of relief and the remnants of hurt and anger bubbling up into a stew of restlessness.
‘Are you all right?’ Leo asked, as he pulled up in the lane.
‘I don’t know how I feel,’ she said and moved towards him as he put an arm around her and held her close.
After a few blissful moments he opened the car door. ‘Come on, let’s get you inside.’ He jumped out and went around to open her door. Offering a hand to help her out he continued to hold hers until the narrowness of the path made it impossible. The door opened as soon as Meriel handed Leo the key and Lucy asked at once, ‘Your mam, is she all right?’
The Heart of the Home Page 13