The Heart of the Home

by The Heart of the Home (retail) (epub)

  Connie and Geoff joined them. They sat inside for a while, talking to Meriel’s parents, then, having opened up the food they had brought, they went into the garden. There seemed to Connie’s sharp eye a definite division, with neighbours on one side of an invisible line and Lynne, Walter, Leo and his mother on the other. Connie insisted they stood up and moved their chairs so the group sat closer together and the two parties mixed. People stayed long after dark, the thought of work the following day forgotten. The blending of the disparate factions had eased the way to more relaxed conversations.

  Lucy took out her wind-up gramophone and she and Gerald danced. Kitty and Stella dragged their unwilling husbands up to join in, but there was something in Meriel’s expression that prevented Leo asking her to partner him.

  *

  In the lane, Teifion listened to the murmur of conversation and the occasional burst of laughter and felt utterly lonely. Since his father had learned of Frieda’s double life he had felt even less welcome in the house where he’d lived most of his life. The strain was palpable, an awareness of invisible anger that bounced from wall to wall.

  He knew he should leave home but didn’t know how. He’d been used to going in and having meals put in front of him, opening a drawer to find the clothes he needed; crisp and ready to wear. How would he achieve all that if he left? Would he find a landlady willing to do everything for him as his mother, then Frieda, had done? How much would it cost? Where would he earn the money if he left his father’s business?

  He moved into the shadow of the trees when he heard someone coming out of Badgers Brook, chattering loudly. From the excited way they were talking it was clear they had enjoyed their evening. Envy churned his stomach. When had it all gone so wrong for him? He turned before they reached the lane and walked swiftly away.

  ‘Wasn’t that Teifion Dexter?’ Bob asked, staring after the hurrying figure.

  ‘I think it was. I wonder what he’s been doing around here?’ Kitty hurried towards their house, she wasn’t particularly interested in the man.

  ‘I’ve seen him standing looking into the window of Meriel and Lucy’s office a few times. Got a crush on one of them, d’you think?’

  ‘Poor dab if he has. There’s no love lost between George Dexter and Meriel’s family.’

  Bob took Kitty in his arms. ‘Love has a way, my dear.’ He waltzed them the rest of the way home.

  *

  Leo tried several times to talk to Meriel, but every time he got close she moved away, seeing someone needing an offer of food or another drink. She wasn’t going to forgive him easily. On one occasion he stepped outside and walked up the lane, to where the sound of voices and music had faded. He was angry with George Dexter for revealing the truth and wondered if there was any hope of things going back to how they were. There was a car parked beyond Walter’s Hillman and he looked at the number curiously. He wasn’t certain, but thought it belonged to Teifion Dexter. What was he doing around here? He waited a while, but no one came and he returned to the party. The clock told him he’d been out in the lane for more than an hour. Not even his mother had noticed his absence, he thought gloomily.

  *

  Betty Connors was enjoying the evening. Running a public house meant she had little time for socializing, and few friends thought to arrange such things on a Sunday, the only day she was free. She had a few part-timers to help in the bar but no one on whom to rely if she wanted more than a few hours off. Once she’d had her brother Ed to help, but he had married Elsie Clements and they were busy running their small guest house near the post office.

  ‘Can’t you find someone to take Ed’s place?’ Lucy asked her when she explained.

  ‘A girl called Daphne Boyd stayed for a while but she went back home and she’s now planning to leave for France with one of the twins from Treweather’s farm. Finding someone suitable isn’t easy. Besides the long hours and heavy work, they’d have to forgo many of their other interests. The Ship and Compass opens at the same time as most other activities.’

  ‘D’you ever think of selling up and doing something else?’

  ‘No, it’s all I know.’

  ‘I once thought I’d never do anything but hairdressing but look at me now, working as an estate agent, having a share of the business. Who’d have believed that?’

  ‘I’m thrilled for you, Lucy, you’ve found your niche, haven’t you? I found mine years ago, when I was still in my pram. Ed and I were brought up in the pub run by our parents, it’s all we’ve ever known. I’m content there but sometimes I wish I could find a reliable assistant. Not for exotic holidays, but so I can have the occasional day off.’

  Lucy looked around the garden at their assorted friends. ‘Meriel and I will keep an eye open for possibilities as we go about our business. We meet a lot of people.’

  ‘Someone as bright and capable as you would suit me perfectly,’ Betty said with a laugh. ‘With outsized muscles of course!’

  People began to move inside as nightfall brought a chill to the air and one or two more prepared to leave. Lynne and Walter wanted to stay until the last, but it was late and there was no sign of a general exodus so they collected their coats and gathered up their now empty plates and said their goodbyes. Walter went to kiss Meriel, but she managed to put someone in the way and they both left with a continued sense of isolation. The moment of relief when he had found Lynne safe and brought her home had been short-lived. Since then they had hardly spoken to their daughter, who had refused every attempt to meet them. Even this invitation had come from Lucy and not Meriel.

  At the door Leo reminded Meriel that if she or Lucy needed anything she had only to let him know.

  ‘There’s really no need. The business is fine. We know what we’re doing. You don’t have to come and comfort me any more either. I’m over the shock of your dishonesty,’ she said firmly. ‘I was never likely to collapse like some Victorian lady with vapours because of your deceit. Thank you for helping, even if we didn’t need it.’

  ‘Dishonesty and deceit? Is that how you see it? Isn’t that distorting the facts? I gave your father a promise not to mention it. Dishonesty would be reneging on that, surely?’

  ‘I don’t want to argue and spoil a pleasant evening. You’d better go, your mother is by Dadda’s car waiting patiently for you, she’ll be getting cold. Thanks for helping, but we don’t need anyone, we’re fine, just Lucy and me.’

  He didn’t try to persuade her. How could he tell her the visits were the high spot of his days?

  They said little as Walter drove home. Leo’s mother, relaxed by several port wines, was fast asleep before they had driven a mile, and Leo was slouched in a corner of the back seat enveloped in gloom. They had set off with hope of at least a softening of the edges of their problems but nothing had been achieved except a reminder of how badly Meriel had been hurt.

  The following day Leo did go to Cwm Derw. Walter had given him some magazines as an excuse to call. If she wouldn’t see Lynne or himself, sending Leo was the next best thing.

  The car he had seen the night before was parked outside George Dexter’s office and Teifion was just getting out. He called to him and Teifion approached.

  ‘What were you doing outside Meriel’s house last night?’

  From Teifion’s expression he was about to deny it but he changed his mind and instead said. ‘I went for a walk. I often do. I heard the sound of voices and wondered who was there. That’s all.‘

  ‘You weren’t there to cause trouble?’

  ‘Come on, what d’you think I am? A kid who’d smash windows or kick milk bottles over?’

  ‘I’ve felt like that myself, at times,’ Leo admitted and Teifion stared at him, a half grin on his face.

  ‘You have? What have you got in your life that would make you think such childish thoughts?’

  ‘Just don’t do anything to hurt Meriel or Lucy, that’s all.’ A sudden turn and he was striding away. What was the matter with him that he could even
hint at his unhappiness to a man like Teifion Dexter?

  Teifion stared after him, his mouth slightly agape. When things aren’t going well, it’s always a surprise to learn of others in similar straits. Lucy walked past a few minutes later and he was still standing staring across the road.

  ‘Frightened of the traffic, are you? Waiting for someone to help you across?’

  ‘Oh – hello, Lucy. No, I’ve had a surprise, that’s all.’ He turned to walk with her and said, ‘D’you know, I don’t want to cross the road because I don’t want to go through the door of that office. I hate it. I’ve always hated it. And if you tell my father I’ll kill you.’ He was smiling at her and at the same time wondering why he had suddenly spoken his most private thoughts aloud, and to Lucy Calloway.

  ‘Tell him yourself and find work you do enjoy.’

  ‘If only I could.’ He straightened up as though shaking himself out of the mood.

  ‘You can and you should. Look at the long years ahead of you stuck in a job you hate. Can you face that?’

  ‘Ignore me, I’m talking nonsense. Forget what I said, I’ve had a bad start to the day, that’s all it is.’

  ‘Betty Connors wants an assistant at the Ship and Compass,’ she said cheekily.

  ‘Me, work in a pub? You must think I’m crazy, give up a place in my father’s business to be a pot man? Good morning, Miss Calloway.’

  She laughed out loud as he scuttled away as though in fear of his life.

  Seven

  The man they knew as Harry Power, who worked for Mr Lewin at Bracken Court, often passed the office. He rarely called in but always waved and occasionally came close to the door and gave them a wide-eyed cheeky wink. When he did call he usually begged a cup of tea and produced a few cakes bought from the local bakery. He came one morning, chatted amiably, asked how they were getting on. He flirted a little, seemed interested in the business, about which he seemed well informed, but after he’d gone both girls admitted that he gave nothing in return.

  ‘He has the amazing skill of turning all of our questions into comments that don’t need a reply. I wonder what he really wants?’ Lucy mused. ‘D’you think someone has sent him to spy on us?’

  ‘Mr George Dexter?’ Meriel added ominously.

  ‘Or Gerald trying to work out how much we’re earning!’

  ‘Or,’ Meriel added lightly, ‘perhaps he’s my long lost brother searching for clues about my mysterious beginnings.’ She laughed, but the humour was dark.

  She couldn’t forget there were people out there who were her family; a mother and father, aunts, uncles, cousins maybe, and even stepbrothers or sisters. She often sat and wondered about them, thinking they might be searching for her, wishing there was a way she could reach out and help. At times she imagined them so strongly she expected the next day to be the one on which she met them all.

  ‘When are you going to forgive your mam and dad?’ Lucy asked a few days later as they opened the office door after lunch. ‘You can’t continue like this for ever. They love you, and you love and need them.’

  ‘I can’t stop thinking about my adoption, blaming them for their deceit. I don’t know who I am and that’s the worse part, not knowing where I came from or what sort of family. I could belong to criminals, or violent, quarrelsome work-shy hooligans.’

  Lucy began to laugh. ‘Look in the mirror and tell me, what do you see?’ She opened her handbag and thrust a small mirror towards her friend. ‘Whoever they were you can’t honestly believe they were anything but decent people.’

  ‘If I’d been brought up by my real family I’d be someone different though, whatever their circumstances. You must agree with that.’

  ‘Maybe, but you’d still be beautiful, capable, businesslike, kind and loving.’

  ‘Thanks, I know you’re trying to help but the truth is, I won’t accept what happened until I know why. I need to know where I belong, why I was given away like an unwanted puppy. And all that’s on a different level to my hurt at not being told. I have to see the people who gave me away, understand why they didn’t want me.’

  ‘My guess is that your mother was a young girl, unmarried and being offered no support from her parents. Mine wouldn’t have helped me, I know that for certain, although I think yours would have supported you whatever you did.’

  ‘I don’t intend to try them on that!’

  ‘I almost did last night. Gerald is pretty insistent and I was strongly tempted.’

  ‘You didn’t, though?’ Meriel looked alarmed.

  ‘Not this time,’ Lucy replied, adding hurriedly, ‘Now, let’s look at the diary. I have to talk to the town hall about a lane at the back of the house in Short Street, there’s an agreement that no gate will open into it as it’s used by dustcarts and coalmen and they don’t want any hazards blocking their way. Our prospective purchasers have a car and want to make an access. What are the chances, d’you think?’

  ‘Nil minus! But go and try.’

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Manning the office and making a few phone calls to hurry up the solicitor. Mark Lacy is very thorough but I wish he’d move a bit faster.’

  When Lucy had gone, Meriel sat day-dreaming for a long time, trying to put faces to the family who hadn’t wanted her. Was she like them? Did they have mannerisms she would recognize as her own? If she only knew who they were she might find some peace.

  The tracks would have been carefully concealed so where could she begin to search? They were unlikely to live in this area. Surely for secrecy the child would be sent to grow up far away from any chance meeting? So her mother could be anywhere, even abroad, people travelled to foreign countries with greater ease these days. The distance between them could be a bus ride or hundreds of miles.

  What she also had to consider was that, if her mother had been very young and unsupported, she would have made a new life for herself and wouldn’t welcome a secret from her past bursting in and ruining everything. Was that something she could risk? She felt tears squeeze through her eyelids. A dirty secret, was that all she was?

  ‘You look serious,’ Leo said as he entered. ‘Is it anything I can help you with?’

  ‘Why have you come?’ she asked ungraciously. ‘Lucy and I manage very well without Dadda sending you to hold our hands.’

  ‘He’s concerned about you. You can understand that, can’t you? He’s afraid you’ll refuse to talk to him, so he sends me. I have no choice but to do as he asks.’ His tone echoed her own and at once she was ashamed.

  ‘I’m sorry. But you and he both lied and I don’t appreciate you trying to make up for that by offering help I don’t need.’

  ‘I don’t need to apologize for what I did.’

  ‘Then why come?’

  ‘It’s called keeping contact,’ he replied, coming to sit on her desk. ‘And if there’s another way I can help then you only have to ask.’

  ‘Find my real parents.’

  ‘You know that’s impossible.’

  ‘Teifion at least tried!’

  ‘How?’ He frowned. ‘I wouldn’t know where to start.’

  She turned in her chair to face him. ‘We sold a house for someone who was moving to Glyndwr village. William Roberts-Price and family. I don’t know why, but Teifion found out they had lost a child – not that it had died, but it had been “lost” – he put two and two together and made a big mistake. He took me there to face them with the suspicion I was their daughter and they were horrified. Poor man, he was so upset, and his wife soothed him and led him indoors like a child. They live in the church cottage and they seem to be very religious.’

  ‘Surely he didn’t expect it to be that easy? Many families have lost a child, so what made him think the child hadn’t died of illness or accident?’

  Meriel shrugged. ‘I don’t know, just that odd sounding word. A lost child implied something different from a child who had died, that’s all. But at least he tried.’

  ‘The law uses secrec
y to protect mother and child for a good reason. Learning who she is and why she gave you up could be devastating. For the mother who probably has a family ignorant of what happened it could be destructive, surely you can see the reason for secrecy?’

  ‘Of course I understand that. I’m not stupid!’ she retorted loudly.

  ‘Then let it lie and thank your stars you belong to Lynne and Walter Evans.’

  ‘I do know how lucky I am! I had a wonderful childhood and nothing that I learn will take that away from me!’

  ‘Good.’ Their voices had become sharp and they glared at each other like two warring cats.

  ‘I’m going out, I want to see someone.’

  ‘Right. I’ll stay till you get back.’ Still speaking as though at the edge of quarrelling, she went out.

  He looked through the diary and began noting phone numbers and addresses of people who had made enquiries about properties they hadn’t bought, knowing that if another came in they would probably be interested in seeing it. He wrote several letters, deciphering Lucy’s scrawl and typing efficiently on the office machine. When she returned an hour later Meriel was grateful for his help to bring them up to date. She knew she had been lax of late and it was Lucy who was doing most of the work. She was also comforted by his presence, although, she wasn’t yet ready to forgive him and let him know how much she needed him in her life. That emotional see-saw was still confusing her.

  At four fifteen he looked out of the window. ‘Here’s Lucy back and she looks pleased about something.’

  Bursting through the door, breathless with excitement, Lucy said, ‘I’ve battled and won! Permission is granted for a double gate into the lane but apart from the few moments necessary to get a car in or out it must be closed at all times and, if it causes a hazard the householders might be fined.’