John Simpson

by Def Con One (lit)

  “Why is that, do you think, Sergeant?” I asked.

  “Well, stereotypes for one thing. You know that Bronze Star and Silver Star you just won? In their views a gay man would never be able to win a medal for bravery. They are products of their own era and they believe gays are cowards. They also believe you’ll be busy sucking cock in the foxhole instead of killing the enemy. If they had the slightest idea about both you guys, they wouldn’t give you a break for anything.”

  “And how would they explain away our new medals?” Todd asked.

  “They would say it was either a fluke that you got them, or that gays higher up were making sure you fellows got your share of glory. It’s a damn shame they’re so blind. I predict it’s only a matter of a couple more years, and you all will be able to serve openly and there won’t be anything they can do about it. In fact, it will create an exodus of senior enlisted types into retirement as a result. Frankly, I’m not too sure that isn’t a blessing in disguise. I’ve never had any problems from you two. I wish I could say that about all my men. You show up for duty on time, your uniforms are together, and you do your job. What more can I ask as a flight sergeant?”

  “We are here to do a job like everyone else. On down time, the other guys go out and socialize and have fun. We don’t have the same ability to socialize with other gay men. The fact that Todd and I met each other is really something that surprised us both since neither had thought it would happen.”

  “Well, just do your jobs and you’ll never have a problem out of me. But if this crisis blows over and we don’t end up as minute particles, make sure you keep your relationship top secret. You live off base normally, right?”

  “Yep, have for a couple months now. Once we can get out of the barracks, we’ll move back to our place.”

  “Good, much better that way. Okay, I’m going to do a check of the three gates. By the way, make an entry into the shift report that Claymore volunteered to assist with desk duties since he still cannot go on normal patrol.”

  Chapter 10

  The shift had ended and we repeated our routine with the hospital and back to the barracks. This time we headed to the television room to catch up on the news and find out if we were closer to war or moving away from it. We weren’t the only ones. Most of the night shift were fixated on the CNN morning news hour.

  The Soviets were still rattling their sabers at the U.S. in an attempt to keep us from launching at the rebel base. They reported that they had troops moving into the area and that an all-out assault would take place as soon as the troops were in position. As the Soviet television commentator rattled on, a friend of mine who worked in the missile division came in and sat down next to me. After watching for a few moments, he leaned over and whispered quietly to me.

  “I just found out Warren will be the base that launches the single missile to take out the rebel base. That makes it a certainty that we will be heavily targeted when they respond to the attack. But keep it quiet as I’m not sure if they are going to tell everyone or not.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Fred.”

  “Can you take a walk with me for a moment?”

  “Sure. Where to? We’re really not supposed to be out walking around, as you know, unless we’re on duty.”

  “How about your room?”

  “Okay. Let’s go.”

  I leaned over to tell Todd that I was going back to the room for a minute as Fred wanted to talk to me. As we walked, I noticed Fred seemed stressed out even more than the rest of us. I wasn’t too good at counseling and if that’s what he needed, he should go to the chaplain or someone at the hospital.

  We went into my room and sat down. “So, what’s up, Fred? You look like shit.”

  “Well, Bryce, it’s pretty probable that we’re all gonna be blown to hell within a matter of hours and so I thought I would tell you something before that happens. You know, kinda like there’s nothing to lose.”

  “Okay. What is it?” I asked with a chuckle as I felt he was being a bit dramatic.

  “Look, I like you a lot, Bryce; I have since you first arrived on base. Can you deal with me liking you, or does it freak you out?”

  “Why would our being friends freak me out, Fred?”

  “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. I really like you, Bryce, and I want to show you how much.”

  “What, you want to buy me something or what?” I asked, getting a little nervous.

  “No, I wanna blow you. I’m gay and I want to have sex with you before we all die.”

  “Oh. Okay, I see what you mean. Well, I’m very flattered, Fred, but I’m afraid that’s not gonna be possible. We can still remain friends, but it has to be platonic.”

  “So, you’re not gay then?”

  I didn’t know quite how to respond to that question. I didn’t want to lie to him but I also remembered what Sergeant Gray had told Todd and me at the desk. “Fred, I don’t want to get into all that. Look, just please accept that nothing sexual is possible between us and just enjoy our friendship. I’m not going to rat you out, or dump you as a friend, so don’t worry about that.”

  “I didn’t think I would get lucky for once, but I had to try. Do you hate me?”

  “No, I don’t hate you at all. I’m sorry that I can’t give you what you want. Be careful in looking for another guy to hook up with. Don’t get yourself turned in to OSI or you’ll end up under investigation.”

  He got up and shook my hand and left the room rather dejectedly. I felt so sorry for him; I knew it was difficult to be gay and have to be in the closet with the knowledge that you might not ever find a partner. He was a friend, but now I did have a partner that I had to remain true to. I loved Todd. I debated on whether or not to even tell him about the conversation with Fred.

  When I returned to the television dayroom, everyone was pretty much in the same spots they had been in when I had left. Todd looked at me and smiled and turned back to the television. The big discussion among the talking heads was that there were only thirteen hours left until the deadline set by Congress passed. As I looked at the clock, I realized I would be on duty as desk sergeant when the launching of the solo missile was to take place. In fact, everything that could evolve would occur on my very next shift. My blood ran cold at the thought of dying in just a few hours’ time.

  “Todd, I’m going to bed. If all hell is gonna break loose tonight, I might as well be awake to enjoy it!”

  As I stripped off my clothes and climbed into bed, Todd entered the room. “I figured I would join you since this may be our last time in bed together.”

  I watched him slowly remove his clothes and found myself becoming aroused. When he dropped his uniform pants, he was naked. He didn’t bother to wear any underwear, which I thought must have been very uncomfortable with the size of his endowment. He took the sling off, which he wasn’t supposed to do until another twenty-four hours had passed, and slipped under the sheets with me. I was now fully erect and wanting to make love.

  As Todd smiled at me, my hand wandered over his body and down to his dick. There I found his sleeping anaconda and began to massage it. Slowly he became fully erect and I began to jerk him up and down after kicking the sheet off us. It was difficult to maneuver in the bunk bed we shared, as it was only meant to hold one guy. I had to be careful not to put any strain on his shoulder area by moving him around a lot, so I gingerly slid down between his legs.

  “Make it slow and easy, will you, doll face?” he asked. I once again began the daunting task of giving oral sex to the man I loved, which normally would be a simple matter. With Todd, of course, it was work. After I began to go down on him, I heard a groan that I took for pleasure but quickly learned was one of pain. I stopped what I was doing and looked up.

  “What is it? Are you in pain?”

  “Yeah, damn it. When you started sucking, my body tensed up from the pleasure, and that pulled on the muscles in my shoulder and chest. I think no matter how you do it, the same thing is going
to happen. I don’t think I could take an orgasm either. I’m sorry, Todd. I know how much you enjoy working on Mr. Happy down there.”

  I laughed out loud at his use of one of his pet names for his dick. Here he was lying with a throbbing erection and no way to relieve him of the condition. I frowned, patted his dick, and slid back onto my side next to him.

  “I’m sorry I can’t give you the pleasure you deserve. But it’s more important for you not to be in pain or break open the stitches because of our fooling around. That would be hard to explain at the hospital.”

  It was Todd’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, I don’t think they would be ready for that explanation. Okay; I can give you a hand, though. Interested?”

  “No. If you can’t get off, then I don’t want to. This crisis will end, and we will have a million chances to give each other pleasure. Let’s just go to sleep now. We don’t know what tonight is going to bring.”

  What’s wrong with me?, I asked myself. That’s twice in the space of an hour I’d turned down sex. I had no intention of making that a habit!

  Even as tired as we were, we ended up waking early and got out of bed just after 1500 hours. We threw on some civvies and went down to the television room to see the latest news. As usual, the room was crowded, but we managed to find two seats together.

  The television was tuned in to CNN and we listened as the talking head droned on about the approaching deadline.

  “Soviet troops continue their assault on the rebel missile base known as Pinsk South. The fighting has been raging for over five hours now, with both sides apparently sustaining heavy casualties. All this is going on as Washington monitors the situation with an eye to the approaching deadline, which is just a little over four hours from now. The question of the hour is: Will the United States carry out its threat to launch a missile to take out the rebel base if it remains in their hands at zero hour, even while the Soviets are engaged in battle to retake the base?”

  “We couldn’t be stupid enough to launch a missile at that base while they’re actually trying to retake it, could we?” I asked Todd.

  “I would tend to think we would let them handle it at this point. There’s no need to start World War Three as long as they are dealing with the crisis. But, who knows. We’re on duty in a little less than two hours. We should start getting ready and then go eat.”

  After eating and as we approached the armory on foot, Todd said, “If we don’t make it to sunrise, I want you to know that I’ve been very happy with you over these weeks we’ve been together as a couple. You’re a unique man who is very sweet, sexy, smart, and who obviously has good taste in men.”

  I had to laugh at the last part of his statement. “Well, Todd, you already know how I feel about you. We have to hope that there will be many more tomorrows and that we will have a chance to plan out our lives and look to the future.”

  I checked my sidearm out of the armory, and we headed over to the base police station. Sergeant Gray was waiting on us, but I noticed that none of the married guys were present for guard mount. We were the last to arrive and I took my place in line as Todd sat down in the other room.

  “Okay, now that everyone is here, let’s begin. This is going to be a very tense shift. As you know, the deadline is drawing near for us to launch a missile to take out the rebel base in the Soviet Union. We don’t know what effect the attack on the base by Soviet forces will have on the deadline. Personally, I hope we let them do everything they can to take that base out of action. For this shift, everything is the same as last night. Callahan, you have the desk; the rest of you will have gate duty as you did last night. I will be the only patrol out as we are concentrating on the gates, and the married guys are off with their families. If we need them, they will respond within five minutes to the armory. As soon as we know anything about the Soviet situation, I will have Callahan let all gates and units know. You men who are covering Gates Two and Three: Stay in your patrol cars in case you are needed for something. Make sure the chains are secured on both gates at the beginning of your shift. And stay awake; it may be a long night!”

  With that, everyone scattered for their assigned posts. I relieved the day-shift sergeant and took over the desk. I quickly started my shift report, hoping that it would not be the last time I did so. Todd put on fresh coffee and we settled into our chairs, waiting for the phone to light up from the Wing Command Post. That was the way I would learn of any significant event.

  “I guess, Todd, we’ll be here if we have a mutual launch when the shit hits the fan. The post orders call for me to transfer calls to the basement and take a portable radio with me and transfer operations downstairs. I’m not sure what good that will do us, but that’s what the procedures direct.”

  “Should I go down now and unlock the room and turn on lights and equipment in case we get the word to do so?”

  “Good idea. We have no prisoners in the cell block so there is no reason not to have the room activated and the door left open.”

  As I watched Todd leave the secured area of the desk and head down the hallway to the door that led to the basement, a tear welled up in my eye. I had come to love this man so much and to have the very strong chance of losing him this very night was almost more than my emotional state could deal with. It just wasn’t fair.

  I had calls from all three gates telling me everything was secured at the start of the shift, which was routine. I noted this fact in my report. Todd rejoined me a moment later and announced that the emergency desk operation was ready to go active. I pulled down the SOP book for operating under those conditions to have it ready to go quickly with us. I also pulled out our hidden weapons to go as well. That was all we would need to take with us, as most everything else was already down in the alternate desk location.

  The deadline passed without the phone ringing and we began to relax somewhat. I started to receive calls from the direct lines at the three gates asking me if I had heard anything, to which I replied that I hadn’t. As I took another sip of my coffee, the phone rang again, and I cursed the gate guards for being bothersome. When I leaned forward to get the phone, I saw that it was the Wing Command Post. With my heart in my throat I answered.

  “Callahan.”

  “Callahan, this is Wing Command Post. We have been notified that a missile has been launched from the rebel base in the Soviet Union. It launched approximately four minutes ago and is a little over eight thousand miles away. Trajectory cannot be determined. Suggest you transfer your operation to alternate desk area.”

  The line went dead as the officer had hung up. I jumped up and quickly grabbed the radio mic and announced, “Base police desk transferring to alternate post location.” This notified Sergeant Gray and any unit monitoring my radio frequency that we were at war.

  “Todd, grab that stuff and let’s get downstairs ASAP.”

  As we ran down the hallway toward the door to the basement, Todd asked if we had multiple incoming missiles. I told him what the Command Post had told me and we practically jumped down the staircase to the bottom floor of the building and ran into the alternate desk location, which was in the northeast corner of the building. We set up the few remaining things to be done just in time for the phone to begin ringing. It was the gates all calling in at one time. They had been told at guard mount that I would keep them posted.

  One by one I relayed to them what I had been told. Sergeant Gray called in from his house and advised that he stopped in to be with his wife for a moment and asked to be briefed. I relayed to him what Command Post said, and he thanked me and said he would be back on the road in five minutes.

  I next phoned the squadron commander and informed him of the message from Command Post. He thanked me, and the call was terminated. The only thing I had to do now was wait for an update from the Command Post. I knew that NORAD was tracking the Soviet missile and would be able to project an impact point fairly quickly based on trajectory.

  The phone rang again. It was the Command Post and I
answered the phone with great dread. “Callahan, Command Post. We have launched one of our missiles to take out the Pinsk South missile base. This is probably the beginning of the end.” The line went dead.

  I turned to Todd and kissed him quickly and told him what the Command Post had said. I dialed up Sergeant Gray at his residence and notified him of the latest news. He advised me he would say goodbye to his wife and was en route back to my location. I picked up my direct lines to the main gate and advised them of what I had been told. I didn’t want to put it out over the air, so I did not advise the guys at Gates Two and Three, who remained in their patrol cars.

  Todd moved over next to me and put his arm around me and we sat there in silence. We would be able to hear anyone coming down the stairs so that we could separate before we were seen. I leaned into Todd and kissed him again and began to tear up once more. This time Todd, my big, strong macho man, did likewise.

  “Well, so much for making long-term plans for Italy, my love,” said Todd with a frown.

  “Well, if it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. The one thing that comforts me is that you are here with me and no matter what happens we will either live together, or die together. Fucking politicians!”

  We heard Sergeant Gray arrive and start down the staircase. Todd and I separated and got ourselves back together again quickly. The sergeant walked into the office and just looked at us for a moment.

  “Callahan, you might be the luckiest man on duty. At least you’ve got the one you love with you. What have you told the other men?”

  “I advised the main gate by landline of what’s going on, but not the other two gates. I didn’t know if you wanted me to put out on the airwaves that we have launched a missile.”

  “Fuck, I don’t know what to do at this point. It’s not like this has ever been covered in training before! Tell you what. Have them go into the gatehouse at Two and Three and call in here. When they call, brief them. Better do it now.”