Sweetest Little Sin

by Christine Wells

  The skivvies would already be up, sweeping hearths and laying out fires. She needed to be quick. A bribe in hand, she approached the door, but she didn’t need to part with her money this time. The hall boy slept curled up in the deep armchair by the heavy front door.

  She let herself out, winced at the slight creak of the hinge. She whipped a glance at the hall boy, but he didn’t rouse save for a childish snuffle. Closing the door behind her, Louisa secured her mask, then hurried toward Russell Street.

  Her heart beat a frantic tattoo in her chest, and the wet soaked through her thin slippers to chill her feet. Her breath came in sobs. She must know if he was alive and well. She’d forgive him anything, everything, if only he still lived.

  Louisa blinked hard, barely seeing where she went through the blur in her eyes. She had the impression of passing traffic even at this early hour, the odd cart rumbling along with deliveries or a cook’s maid on her way to market. But Jardine’s house was only around the corner. Surely, luck would favor her if she was quick.

  Too distraught to think of a stealthy approach, Louisa scurried up the front steps and rapped a sharp summons on the door with the brass knocker. Despite the early hour, the door opened instantly. Jardine’s butler, Emerson, looked down at her without apparent surprise. As if masked incognitas visited his master at cockcrow every other day of the week.

  Perhaps they did.

  She forced down a spurt of unreasonable jealousy and demanded the man’s master.

  Emerson bowed and conducted her to a sitting room, a darkly opulent parlor filled with crimson velvet and mahogany. “I shall inquire.”

  Louisa sagged, light-headed with relief. Surely Emerson would have told her if Jardine was dead, or ill, or injured? She drew a deep, shuddery breath. Even contemplated slipping away, now that she’d received the information she sought.

  But leaving when she was so close to him would be like changing the course of the planets around the sun. Impossible.

  She perched on the edge of a plushly decadent chaise longue, then she stood and paced as she waited. Why was she always waiting for him?

  After a long interval, the click of boots on wood made her head jerk up.

  Jardine slouched in the doorway, looking every inch the dissolute aristocrat.

  Hair black as night sprang back from the suspicion of a widow’s peak at his brow. He wore it longer than when she’d seen him last, and it was tied carelessly in a short queue. His skin was dead white, his eyes like gleaming jet under those devilishly drawn brows. He had thick, long lashes, high, slashing cheekbones, and lips that turned down sulkily at the corners when he wasn’t curling them into a sneer.

  Such unearthly, satanic beauty. Simply looking at him made Louisa’s heart stumble and kick and race.

  In truth, he belonged to another age, when men dressed in satins and silks and fought duels and damned everyone’s eyes as they did. He had all the sleek, lethal elegance of a jungle cat, the stinging sharpness of a rapier’s blade.

  It never ceased to awe and frighten her that she, plain Louisa Brooke, had somehow caught his interest.

  The visceral thrill of seeing him again held her silent, breathless.

  And then he opened his mouth.

  “WHAT the Devil are you doing here?” Jardine leaned against the doorjamb, felt himself slip a bit, and jerked upright. The woman before him ripped off her mask, but he didn’t need to see her face to know who it was.

  That mouth. He’d know that mouth anywhere.

  “Dammit, Louisa. Get out.” His speech slurred only slightly. Though he tried to enunciate the words, his tongue remained damnably heavy and slow. He hoped to God the foul concoction Emerson had given him would work its magic soon so he could think.

  The startlingly blue eyes blazed. “You are drunk! I don’t believe it.”

  “Drunk,” he muttered. He’d give a lot to exchange the agony of last night for an evening carousing with the brandy bottle. But it was a good explanation for the state she found him in—worse for wear, muzzy with the opiate they’d given him to numb the pain, trembling like a jelly.

  Drunk? Yes, it would serve.

  He forced his head to nod in agreement. “Three sheets to the wind, m’dear.”

  Damned if the look on her face wouldn’t terrify a man into sobriety, if drunkenness had been what ailed him. Curling his lips into a faint, mocking smile, he watched her beneath half-lowered lids. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

  “You . . .” The tip of her tongue touched her upper lip, before her teeth clamped on it. She threw her shoulders back. “You forgot my birthday.”

  “Ah.” He held up a hand that felt like it weighed a ton. “Now that’s where you’re wrong. I did remember. Just before I dropped off to sleep, I knew there was something . . .”

  She gasped, every muscle in her body stiffening in outrage.

  To an outsider, her reaction might seem out of proportion to the event. But it wasn’t about the birthday. This wasn’t the kind of feminine tantrum that one soothed with easy words and hot kisses. He knew that.

  He knew her.

  And he knew he risked losing her. Risked everything he had on this one, last throw of the dice.

  A searing tide of remorse and impotent fury surged through his aching body, enlivening torn muscles, clearing the fog from his brain. His gaze focused on Louisa’s untouched features, her skin, pale and flawless as cream, and his hands curled into fists.

  If wounding Louisa made her keep her distance, it was worth it. Even though that flare of pain in her eyes seared him like a brand.

  “Jardine! Are you listening to what I’m saying to you?”

  There was a catch in the stoical Louisa’s voice that struck him to the soul. No, he hadn’t been listening, but he guessed what she’d said.

  The need to hold her was an ache in his gut, but instead of taking her in his arms, he gave her his best attempt at a careless shrug. He must enrage her, make her leave him without a backward glance, but he mustn’t overdo it. She was smart as a whip and she knew him too well. This would have to be the performance of a lifetime.

  He flicked his hand carelessly. “Yes, yes, it was your birthday. I forgot. I apologize. Females set such store by things like that, don’t they?”

  The murderous look that fell over her features told him his offhanded apology had the desired effect. Her eyes shot lightning bolts, her cheeks flushed, the lines of her body tightened until they trembled. “They do, do they? You utter blackguard, Jardine!”

  She launched into an impassioned diatribe, but the effect her fury had on him was the opposite of chastening. Despite his manifold aches, his body roused at the sight of her, standing there tearing strips off him like some avenging Norse goddess.

  She wasn’t a beauty, his Louisa. She was tall and lean and strong with small, firm breasts that fitted snugly into a man’s hands. Her jaw was a little too decided, her nose boldly defined, her straight, black brows an odd contrast with the cold flaxen tone of her hair.

  But one look in those fierce warrior-woman eyes and he’d been bowled over, knocked for six. As he hadn’t recovered in the many years since, it didn’t look like he ever would.

  And that mouth. A ripple of lust eddied through him at the thought of Louisa’s mouth.

  In her lips, she was all woman—contours and soft, ripe sweetness. And she was talking in that low, husky tone again, saying a lot of things about the future, about commitment, about fairy tales and impossible dreams. All he wanted to do was take her to bed, drink from those lips while he made love to her slowly, sink into the blaze of her, burn to ashes in her arms.

  He’d missed the chance for such lengthy exploration last night. And now . . . Well, now, she would hate him for what he was going to do to her. What he must do.

  At last, he cut through her angry speech.

  “Louisa, why are you here? We had an agreement.”

  “Why do you think I wore this stupid mask?” she flashed. “I thought so
mething had happened to you. I thought you were injured or . . . or dead.” Her voice scraped on the last word. He struggled to ignore it.

  “Well, I’m not.”

  At the flippant rejoinder, she visibly ground her teeth. “More’s the pity,” she muttered.

  He knew she didn’t mean it, but something in his chest gave a painful twist.

  “What would you do if you were free of me?” he said. “Marry one of those vultures you have buzzing around you?” It hadn’t escaped him that since her brother had settled a large dowry on the girl, Louisa had become quite the matrimonial prize.

  Quietly, she said, “I am nine-and-twenty, Jardine.” “Really?” he drawled. “I’d forgotten.” He strolled toward her, suppressing a wince at the pain of every movement. He tamped down the panic, choked off the urge to tell her the truth.

  He knew to a minute how old she was. He thought of the night he’d planned for her birthday, the heady anticipation that had made him a trifle less careful than usual, an easy target for the abduction and mild torture that followed.

  The real torture of knowing she waited for him last night, yet he couldn’t go to her.

  He reached out and took her chin in his hand, tilting her head so the weak morning sunlight illuminated her remarkable features. Her face was all planes and angles—except for that most sensual pair of lips. So tempting to take that mouth, to lose himself in her, forget what he’d sworn to do.

  But if she felt secure enough, safe enough to come here in this reckless fashion, what were the odds she wouldn’t make another slip? How could he trust her to stay away from him unless he made it impossible for her to return?

  “You have been a lovely diversion, Louisa.” Disregarding her cry of fury, he went on. “You were never anything more to me, you know. And now, I find that I’ve tired of our little game of cat and mouse.”

  Softly, he said, “The time has come for us to part.”

  LOUISA jerked back as if his touch burned her, hurt and confusion jumbling her thoughts.

  Was this his way of punishing her? What had she done to deserve such treatment? “You always had a strange sense of humor, Jardine.” Her throat felt dry, dusty as an unswept hearth. She licked her lips. “It’s not a very funny jest.”

  His gaze fell on her mouth. Then he shrugged, hateful in his careless elegance. “Not a jest at all. I find myself . . . at a crossroads, shall we say? And at this juncture, my dear, our ways must diverge.”

  He opened the door and flourished a bow, clearly expecting her to precede him through the doorway, out of his house, out of his life.

  The realization that he was in earnest crashed through her, blinding her, clutching at her breath. Louisa closed her eyes, braced herself, but the pain didn’t come. A cold, numbing wash of unreality slid over her body and mind. It must be a dream. That would make sense. This was too bizarre to be real.

  But when she opened her eyes, he still stood there holding the door handle, waiting. As if he expected her to slip away meekly, as if they were nothing to one another, as if the past had never happened.

  Just look at him, her inner self said. How could you believe he’d ever want you? Plain, dull, spinsterish Louisa Brooke.

  Jardine could have any woman for the asking. It was an embarrassment, the way ladies of the highest breeding threw themselves at him.

  Louisa’s heart stamped like a spoiled child, cried that he had wanted her once. He had!

  She might not be his equal in looks and social status, but Jardine had made promises to her. He had committed himself.

  Perhaps he’d regretted it later, but no one had held a gun to his head all those years ago. Just because she felt inadequate, undeserving, didn’t mean she needed to accept her congé and scuttle back to her hole like a frightened mouse. He’d made promises and he’d broken them.

  She summoned all her strength to stop her voice shaking. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

  “What?”

  Furious, defiant, she lifted her chin, stared straight into those brimstone eyes.

  “You utter scoundrel, Jardine. I am your wife.”

  Three

  SILENCE spun between them, and it seemed to Louisa that her heart cringed and cowered, withered just a little, while she waited for his answer.

  When Jardine spoke, he seemed to choose his words carefully. “You would be wise to forget that circumstance, Louisa.”

  “Strangely, it is not the sort of thing one forgets.”

  His lips twisted into a smile that mocked her cruelly. “I will try my utmost to do so, I assure you.”

  The blow almost felled her spirit entirely. But she couldn’t bear to become pitiable in his eyes.

  From somewhere, she managed to dredge up a thin thread of pride. “You have denied our connection and I have borne it for years. I kept this marriage a secret because I didn’t wish to suffer the humiliation of an abandoned bride and I knew my brother would hunt you down and kill you if he heard how you used me.”

  She paused, ignoring the insolent lift of an eyebrow that disputed Max’s ability to carry out such a plan. “But that is over now.”

  She drew herself up so straight that she might shatter from the tension in her spine. “I want a family of my own, Jardine. Acknowledge me as your wife, give me a child, and I will agree to live separately from you.”

  “And if I don’t agree to this?”

  What then? she wondered. Remain in this shadowy state for the rest of her life? Divorce was out of the question.

  Abruptly, he said, “Is there someone else, Louisa?”

  Louisa nearly slapped his face. “No!” How could he ask that?

  At her answer, his body relaxed a little. But he remained implacable, his voice taking a harsh note. “Understand this, my dear: You and I never married.”

  She fell back apace. “What? What are you saying?”

  “There is no evidence of our marriage in existence. Even if you told the world you are my wife, you could never prove it.”

  “But . . .” Inside, she was falling, flailing as if she’d toppled from a cliff. “All these years? Are you saying the ceremony was a sham?”

  He seemed to take more interest in inspecting his fingernails than in their conversation. “Oh no, the wedding was real enough. But you’ll never be able to prove it occurred.”

  “Never? But the parish register . . .”

  He spread his hands. “Regrettably, the register was lost in a fire.”

  “The vicar who married us . . .”

  “I believe he moved to America upon receiving an inheritance.”

  “You paid him to go, you mean.” She sucked in a breath. “But there were witnesses. My maid and your valet.”

  “My valet will deny the marriage ever took place. And who will believe your maid, even if you can find her after all this time?”

  Sally had been offered a better position and taken it. Louisa wondered now if Jardine had engineered that defection. He must have, the swine!

  But name-calling brought no relief from the corrosive disillusionment that ate at her heart. Clearly, she’d been wrong about many, many things.

  She struggled to catch her breath, turned away to hide the pain. Shaking with the need to dam the sobs that flooded her chest, she bent to pick up her mask and her cloak.

  He didn’t offer to assist her, so she shrouded herself in the voluminous blue domino, tied the strings, and quickly secured her mask. Thus disguised, Louisa raised her gaze to Jardine’s face. He swayed slightly, white to the lips.

  Anger shot through her despair. Charming! He looked like he might cast up his accounts any minute. Now that would be a perfectly styled finis to their . . . entanglement.

  But his eyes . . . Did she imagine a look in them so lonely and lost that her heart squeezed with helpless pity? Despite her crushing disappointment, she had a fierce urge to stay and take care of him, to smooth a gentle hand over his brow.

  How could she even consider it? How could she have s
o little pride? Repressing the sudden impulse, she headed toward the door where he stood, her gaze lowered so as not to meet his eyes. Her farewell was a soft choke in her throat.

  “Let my man drive you home,” said Jardine, halting her. “He’ll take a roundabout way, just in case.”

  Nodding her acquiescence, she wondered vaguely that he could think of such minor details as her physical safety when her world had fallen apart.

  Louisa paused, drew her underlip between her teeth, then let it go. “Jardine—”

  She looked up to see his gaze fixed on her mouth. His dark eyes had the Devil in them, hot with intent. He gripped her chin between his long fingers to hold her steady.

  Faint inner warnings told her to pull away. It was undignified to crave his kiss when he’d dismissed her so cruelly.

  But she stood willing, yearning to have his lips on hers one last time, whatever the cost to her pride. His head dipped lower, his hair falling forward over his brow. She tensed, then softened, her lips ripening with longing for the kind of ravishment his darkened expression promised. If only she could make him want her again.

  He was so close, his warm breath caressed her sensitive skin until it tingled. Everything inside her opened, pulsed, rushed with heat and powerful excitement. She didn’t want to move or make a sound in case she broke the spell. But she couldn’t control her ragged breathing or the small sob that caught in her throat as he hesitated that short distance from her mouth.

  At the sound, he blinked, as if he were the prince of a fairy tale suddenly waking from enchantment. Long black lashes swept downward over the dark heat of his eyes and his sensual mouth curved into a sneer. At her or at himself, she didn’t know. He drew back, letting cool air rush between them.

  “Jardine?”

  “Go, Louisa.” His harsh voice ripped her in two. “Get out.”