God's Gift

by Dee Henderson

  She accepted them, touched by the thought and the attention he had paid to the detail. Every color of a rainbow was present. “They are lovely, James.”

  “They are flowers whose beauty will eventually fade, your beauty won’t.”

  Flowers she had expected…the compliment she had not. “James…”

  He grinned. “It took two days to come up with the line, but I haven’t had much practice in the last six years. My delivery still needs a little practice.”

  She leaned against the doorjamb, grinned. “Oh, I don’t know. You did pretty well.”

  He reached out and touched her hand. “Go find a vase for the flowers and let’s get this night underway.”

  She joined him a few moments later, carrying a lace wrap should the night turn cool.

  He locked the front door for her.

  Rae walked with him down the drive, liking the attention as his hand touched the small of her back, the fact he matched his pace to hers. “Can I ask one question, if I then promise to drop the subject for the night?”

  He opened the car door for her, smiled. “Somehow I think I would prefer to have you ask it now, than have this question in your mind for the evening,” he replied. He walked around the car, slipped behind the wheel, turned the key in the ignition. When the car was running, he rested his hands across the steering wheel and turned toward her. “What’s your question, Rae?”

  “How bad is the pain today?”

  He nodded, conceding it was a good question. “On a scale of one to ten, one being so bad I don’t want to move, ten being I no longer notice any symptoms, today is about a six.”

  He pulled out of the drive and headed toward the restaurant. “Can I ask one question, if I promise to stay off the subject for the rest of the evening?”

  Rae hesitated before nodding. “I suppose fair says you get at least one.”

  He chuckled. “Tell me about work.”

  “That’s a complex question. Anything specific you would like to know?” she asked, looking at him. She saw him nod.

  “Do you still like your job?”

  Rae leaned her head back against the headrest. “I love the challenge. I love the fact I am good at turning data into a concrete conclusion. There are times I even think I may learn to like the trading. But I hate the hours. There has been no time for the book lately, and I really hate that.”

  “Tonight is taking time away that you could be using to write.”

  Rae was grateful that he understood the cost she had paid when she said yes. “Yes. But I don’t regret my choice.”

  “I’ll make the night worth it.”

  Rae smiled. “It already is.”

  They arrived at the restaurant.

  Rae took her time looking over the menu. “Do you think baked trout would be safe?”

  He grinned. “I would say that is a good choice.”

  Rae liked the evening with him, sharing a meal. He told her stories about Africa, stories from the days working with Kevin building their business. He made her laugh and it made the stress of the workday fade.

  They lingered at the restaurant for almost two hours, enjoying the chance to talk together. When James finally suggested they should consider leaving, she agreed, knowing she needed to call it a night before it got much later, but regretting the ending of a wonderful evening.

  “Would you like to see someplace special?” James asked her as she fastened her seat belt.

  She looked over at him, surprised. “Sure.”

  He nodded. “It’s not far.”

  He took them to an established neighborhood a couple miles from her own home, where the trees were ancient and the houses set back on large plots of land. He drew to a stop in front of a two-story house, put the car in park.

  Rae looked around with interest.

  “My new place,” James said quietly.

  She turned to look at him. “Really?” He had bought a house? She looked back at the place. He had bought a place. A deep spot of uncertainty inside her dissolved. She had been afraid he might end up settling in a different city, with a different job. He had bought a house. This was good.

  He smiled at her surprise. “Come on, I’ll show it to you,” he offered, turning off the engine.

  Rae slipped out of the car.

  It was a beautiful home. James had arranged to have the key and he opened the front door for her, gave her a guided tour, pointing out the structural changes he planned to make. Rae wandered around behind him, enjoying listening to James in his element, the house having replaced his discouragement with something positive.

  They walked back to the car, James quiet and Rae enjoying the beautiful night.

  It was eleven o’clock when James escorted her up the walk to her own front door. “I’m sorry I made it such a late night for you.”

  Rae leaned against the doorpost, not entirely ready to say good-night yet. “I’m not. I had a good time, James.”

  He rocked back on his heels, smiling. “So did I. Would you like to do it again?”

  Rae considered the offer. “Would you like to come over for a movie Thursday night?”

  He smiled at her. “You go to sleep with a movie.”

  “Only with guys I like.”

  He grinned. “What do you say I pick out the movie?”

  “I like this plan.”

  “Say eight o’clock again? I’ll bring dinner?”

  “Deal.” She smiled and reached forward, touched his hand. “Thank you, James.”

  His hand turned over and gently grasped hers. “Have a good night, Rae.”

  Chapter Eight

  The ground was soft; it had rained during the night. Rae’s heels sank into the grass as she crossed the landscaped grounds.

  “Hi, Leo.” She carefully settled on the bench near his headstone. “I’ve missed you.”

  It was a weekday morning, at an hour she should have been at the office. Instead she was at a cemetery, her beeper on, her cellular phone in her purse, trying to shake off the effects of a rough night of no sleep.

  “I’m scared, Leo, and I don’t know why.”

  The dreams had been nice, at first. She had been with James, she had been happy, she had been in the house she had visited, but the dreams had always ended with her being abandoned.

  She sighed, and looked over the grounds, looked up at the beautiful sky. There were no answers to find here. She had thought the dreams reflected what she was still feeling from Leo’s death, but she had been wrong. It was peaceful here today; there was sadness, but the grief was gone.

  The grief had moved on without her realizing it.

  The trip here had been worth that much at least. It was an hour’s drive. She rarely came, instinctively knowing it was better to let the memories fade.

  The troubled sleep did not originate from here.

  The car ride back to the office was made with her thoughts deep in options. To think ahead for months at a time, to consider options, was part of both her personality and her training. She had some serious issues to resolve.

  She was dating James. It had been one date so far, but he was buying a house nearby. Lace had read him right, he was not a man to date casually. The next several months were going to see a relationship being developed. Did she want that?

  Yes. She had made that decision the night she had agreed to the first date.

  A relationship meant time.

  She still had a book to write. That book mattered to her, more than any of her friends understood.

  No matter which way she laid out her schedule, she simply did not have enough time to do her job, write a book, and get to know James. Something simply had to give.

  The job.

  She had to find a partner. She had to. It was that, or sell the business.

  James was early.

  Rae descended the steps quickly, paused at the bottom of the stairs, took a few deep breaths, trying to make her anticipation less obvious. She flipped the locks on the door.

&n
bsp; “Hi.” She was past the point of being nervous. She had missed him.

  “Hi, lady.”

  His smile made her feel so good inside.

  She held the door for him as he had his hands full. Something smelled wonderful.

  “Mom was making Italian, so I brought us homemade ravioli.”

  Rae settled her hand on his arm and liked the strength she felt. She looked into the sack. “Cheesecake?”

  “Homemade, too.”

  “You can bring dinner over whenever you would like.”

  He laughed. “Come on, let’s eat while it’s still hot.”

  Rae had struggled with how to set the table. She had wanted it to look nice, but not overly romantic. It was dinner and a movie. She had compromised with elegant place mats and her bouquet of flowers as the centerpiece.

  James unpacked the sack. Salad, strawberries, ravioli, homemade rolls, cheesecake.

  James told her about progress on the house purchase as they ate, and Rae told him about her day, glossing over the stress. It was a comfortable conversation, but it was impersonal, leaving Rae feeling slightly discontent.

  They moved to the living room after dinner, James taking the remaining strawberries with them.

  Rae hesitated for a moment, then chose the couch, pushing the coffee table out with her foot so she could sink down in the cushions and use the table as a footrest. “What movie did you end up choosing?”

  He slipped it into the VCR, and used the remote to click on the television, set the volume. “An old one. A mushy one.”

  She blinked, surprised. “You got a mushy movie?”

  He chuckled at her expression, nudged her over to free a pillow, sat down beside her. “It’s a date, Rae. Mushy is good planning on my part.”

  “If it had not been a date?”

  He stretched his legs out and grinned. “A Western, definitely.”

  Rae leaned against his shoulder. “I like Westerns, too,” she whispered.

  “Do you?”

  “Anything but horror,” she confirmed.

  His hand gently brushed through her hair. She loved being this close to him, able to see the expression in his eyes, feel his chest rise and fall under her hand. The movie came on, interrupting the moment. She didn’t move away; instead, settled against him. His arm slipped around her. His hand captured hers.

  It was a love story.

  Partway through the movie, Rae shifted to rest her head against his chest, snuggle her hands against his shirt, relax further as she watched, captivated by the story.

  James’s hand gently stroked her hair.

  It was a movie that required a box of tissues.

  She was crying toward the end but had no desire to disturb the pleasure of the moment with James. She was supremely comfortable, tucked in his arms.

  James grabbed the tissue box and gently wiped her wet cheeks.

  When it was over, she dropped her head down against his chest, hiding her face. “Next time, don’t get a mushy movie. I look awful when I cry,” she said, laughing, as she tried to wipe away the damage.

  James settled her against him. He studied her face seriously, smiled gently. “I think you look okay to me.”

  “You’re being kind.”

  His hands brushed her cheeks dry. “No, I’m not,” he said simply.

  Rae eased her hands to his shoulders. “James.”

  “Hmm?” He drew her closer.

  “Isn’t this going pretty fast for a second date?”

  “I’ve wanted to kiss you for about twelve weeks now, it feels kind of slow to me,” he replied with a slow smile.

  She blushed softly. “Really?”

  He grinned. “Quit fishing for a compliment.”

  If she leaned forward even a little, they would be kissing. She wanted to kiss him too much to let herself do it.

  She dropped her gaze. She wasn’t used to this emotion.

  “We need to take a walk,” James said abruptly.

  It took Rae a few moments to remember how to breathe again. He got up and held out his hand and she had to shake her head a couple of times to clear it before she could focus on his hand and accept it.

  She steadied herself with a hand braced against his forearm. “A walk is a real good idea. Where are my shoes?”

  Having him tie her tennis shoe laces helped break some of the tension inside her, the cool air outside helped finish the task.

  James put his arm around her shoulders as they began walking down the block. Rae took advantage of the opportunity to tuck herself as close to him as she could get.

  “It would have been quite a kiss,” she offered, teasing softly.

  He laughed. “Oh yeah, it would have been quite a kiss.”

  She wanted this relationship to progress. The realization made her shiver. Her mind was thinking marriage and children. It was too much transition. Fifteen weeks ago she had been grieving over Leo, thinking her life was over, and now she was at this point with another man.

  She eased slightly away from him. “It’s been almost two years since I kissed a guy.”

  “Try six years since I really kissed a lady,” James replied. He let her ease away, but kept hold of her hand. “I think we would be wise to avoid the situation for a while.”

  They walked together in silence. Rae felt herself begin to relax again. Nothing had changed, not really. They were dating. They were both going to have to decide how serious they wanted the relationship to be, where it was heading, how fast it was going to move. It was good to know the potential for a lot more than just friendship was there.

  “Rae?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Can I ask you a tough question?”

  She turned and looked up at him, saw how serious he was. “Sure.”

  “Were you and Leo planning to have kids?”

  Rae felt the wistfulness well back inside. “Yes,” she whispered, looking out at the night. “At least three. He liked the idea of a big family.”

  James squeezed her hand. “I didn’t mean to touch a raw memory.”

  “That’s okay. We were planning it all, the house, the kids, the dog.”

  He tucked his arm around her again, pulling her close. “Tell me to butt out if you don’t want to talk about this.”

  She nodded. “What do you want to know?”

  “Has the anger faded?”

  “At Leo?”

  “And God.”

  Rae considered it as they walked. “Mostly. It’s just a profound sense of disappointment that lingers now, that the dreams and plans ended so abruptly. How are you doing with losing Africa?”

  “Resigned. There’s nothing short of a miracle cure that can bring it back.”

  The silence stretched between them. Rae wished they were further along in the relationship so that she didn’t feel so…awkward. She wanted to know what he thought about getting married, having kids…not necessarily with her, but in general, she told herself as she bit her bottom lip.

  “What?” He sounded amused.

  She looked up at him, this man she had dreamed about, had decided to let past her reserves to say yes to a date, to say yes to possibly a lot more. He was smiling at her.

  “What question is circling around in that mind of yours, wanting to be asked?”

  She blushed.

  His expression grew serious and gentle. He brushed her cheek with a finger. “It’s okay. Ask.”

  “Did you buy that house planning to have children?”

  “Four,” he replied, smiling. “At least two adopted. I’ve got a wallet full of snapshots of children, I want a few of my own to add to the collection.”

  “Four.”

  James tugged her hair lightly. “My wife will have a little say, of course.”

  “That’s kind of necessary,” Rae reminded him, grinning. So what if it was only a second date? Nothing had been conventional in her life or in their relationship to this point. She might as well ask the questions she would like to have answers to. �
�What’s your ideal honeymoon?”

  Her question amused him. “That’s a tough one.” He thought for a moment. “Three weeks. Somewhere with a private beach, a lot of sun. Maybe Maui.”

  “Wedding?”

  “Big.”

  “Ten-year anniversary gift?”

  “Rae…”

  “I’m curious.”

  “My wife would learn to play golf.”

  It was such a specific answer that Rae couldn’t help but laugh. “You play?”

  “Not yet. If I get married, I figure I’ll learn.”

  “No more questions?” James asked after a moment.

  “No.”

  He tugged her to a stop. They were in the shadows of a tall oak, moonlight flickering between the leaves. “Then I have a question for you.”

  Rae looked up at him.

  “Can I kiss you?” he asked, seriously.

  There was nothing she would like more. “I’m not so sure it would be a good idea,” she found herself replying.

  He linked his arms around her, bringing her close. “Just one kiss?”

  She reluctantly nodded. She wanted to kiss him, to find out if it would be as special as she imagined it might be. She eased herself forward, her arms resting on his shoulders.

  The kiss was gentle, soft, careful. It made her more vulnerable than she had been in two years. She was letting him inside her heart. It made her tremble under his hands.

  He broke the kiss off before it could progress. “Kissing is going to be a problem.”

  “We could not do it again,” she felt honor bound to offer. She was still trying to sort out the emotions, how much she had enjoyed that kiss.

  He hugged her.

  “Rationing. One kiss per date. We might survive.”

  She leaned against him and returned the hug. “Come over tomorrow.”

  They both laughed.

  “Come on, lady. It’s late. You’ve got to go to work in a few hours. It’s time I took you home.”

  Rae reluctantly let him start them walking again. After they reached her town house, it took only a couple of minutes for the movie to be rewound, the dishes from dinner to be repacked.

  Rae stood in the doorway after James stepped out onto the porch, the sack balanced in his hand.