Beyond Grace's Rainbow: HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance

by Carmel Harrington

  Fr O’Hara looked like he’d been slapped when she said that.

  ‘So, I want you to be tested and if you are a match, you can be an anonymous donor. I’ll talk to Dr Kennedy to make sure he doesn’t let Grace know who the donor is,’ Catherine said.

  ‘Why are you so sure I’ll be a match?’ he asked in a small voice.

  ‘I’m not sure. But I’m desperate. I lost thirty two years of my daughter’s life because of you. I’ve only just found her and I cannot lose her a second time,’ Catherine finished on a sob.

  Tom stood up, ‘Right the lady has made her position clear. We’ve already set up the meeting with Dr Kennedy in Dublin for Monday morning. Here are the details. Don’t have me come back here to get you Fr O’Hara. Because next time, I promise you I won’t be asking so nicely or so quietly,’ Tom finished.

  Fr O’Hara paused before finally conceding, ‘I’ll be there.’

  Getting up and walking to the door, Catherine finished by saying to the priest firmly, ‘Do this for your daughter, but also do this for yourself. Then maybe there’s a small chance you can save your own soul. Because from where I’m standing, there’s only one place you are going and that’s straight to hell.’

  Chapter Forty Five

  Abby was a bag of nerves. Shay had finally called her and he was on his way to her apartment for a chat. Judging by the tone of his voice, it wasn’t going to be a happy chat either. She was running through all sorts of scenarios in her head as to why he had pulled back so much on their relationship in the past week. Had she done something wrong? But she was really stumped. They seemed to get on so well and were having a fantastic time, right up until last week, when he fell off the face of the planet. She’d been so upset over the weekend, despite being in Tom and Gerry’s house. She was worried sick about Grace and felt very selfish that she was also feeling sorry for herself. For once, she thought she had her own special someone to share the worry with. But again she was on her own.

  Earlier that morning while eating breakfast with Gerry, he had surmised, ‘No word?’

  ‘Nothing. He didn’t call once all weekend. But I’m getting worried now Gerry, what if there’s something wrong with him?’ Abby asked worriedly.

  ‘That did occur to me, darling. It’s all very strange. What did you say on your last message?’

  ‘Just that I was worried sick about him. That I’d appreciate a phone call just to let me know that he was okay. I also said to him that I was a big girl and if he didn’t want to see me anymore that was fine. He should just tell me,’ Abby said.

  ‘Good girl,’ Gerry had responded. ‘Right, let’s give him a couple of hours to reply. Darling, I think this is the first time in my life that I’ve ever seen you off your food!’ he’d added in amazement as she picked at her breakfast. Abby never stopped eating. Things must be bad.

  ‘I haven’t eaten anything for days,’ Abby said with a sigh. ‘I’ve no appetite.’

  Gerry just couldn’t work out what was going on. How a guy could be so obviously in love with Abby one minute, and then disappear off the face of the earth the next. It didn’t make sense. ‘Right. I’ve an idea,’ Gerry said. ‘This not knowing is ridiculous. I’m going to call him on my mobile right now. He doesn’t have my number, so hopefully he’ll answer. We’ll know if he’s dodging your calls then. And also we can reassure ourselves that he’s not lying at the bottom of the stairs with a broken neck.’ Seeing the look of terror on Abby’s face, he had said, ‘Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s fine. Gerry thought to himself that if Shay weren’t lying at the foot of the stairs with a broken neck, he’d soon have one by the time he’d finish wringing it. He dialled the number and within a few rings Shay answered.

  ‘Hi, Shay speaking,’ Shay said in a remarkably healthy sounding voice.

  ‘Hi yourself, Shay. It’s Gerry here, Abby’s friend,’ Gerry had replied.

  ‘Oh hi, Gerry. Everything okay?’ Shay had asked in a slightly worried voice.

  ‘Everything’s just fine now that I know you haven’t been abducted by aliens, darling. Abby has been very worried, as you seem to have vanished into thin air,’ Gerry said sarcastically.

  ‘Sorry to have caused any worry,’ Shay had said. ‘I’ve just been very busy with work.’ He did sound sorry.

  Gerry had responded, ‘I said it would be something like that. I said that there was no way Shay was the kind of guy to just blank his girlfriend for no good reason. I mean if you had decided you no longer wanted to date Abby, you would just say so.’

  ‘Gerry, I’m going to call Abby shortly,’ Shay had replied after a long pause.

  ‘Glad to hear it, darling,’ Gerry had answered and then hung up.

  True to his word, Shay rang shortly afterwards and now Abby was waiting for him to arrive. The doorbell to her apartment buzzed. Checking her reflection one more time, Abby walked to the door to let Shay in. She noticed he didn’t lean in for a kiss as was normal for them whenever they met, just nodded at her.

  ‘No Gerry?’ he asked, looking around the room.

  ‘No, just me, Shay. Are you okay? I’ve been worried about you,’ Abby said.

  Shay ran his hands through his hair and started pacing around the small living room. Eventually he sat down and said to Abby, ‘I’m sorry I worried you. I really didn’t want to do that.’

  Abby breathed a sigh of relief. At least he was sorry to have worried her. For a moment she had thought he was going to pretend that it was normal behaviour to just disappear for no reason.

  ‘But you are right, I have been avoiding you. And I’m sorry about that too. I should have just told you that there was something bothering me,’ Shay continued, looking a bit sheepishly at Abby.

  ‘What is it, Shay? You can tell me,’ Abby replied softly. She smiled at Shay to encourage him to open up to her.

  ‘It’s all going a bit too fast for me,’ Shay replied. ‘One minute we were having so much fun, enjoying getting to know each other and the next minute it was so…..’ he stopped the sentence without finishing it.

  ‘It was so what?’ Abby asked.

  ‘It was so intense, Abby,’ Shay said. ‘It’s all this stuff with Grace. It’s very hard to deal with.’

  Abby actually felt her mouth fall open, ‘You’re calling Grace’s relapse “stuff”?’ She was getting angry now.

  Shay reddened. ‘That came out wrong. I am just so sorry that Grace is ill again. I really like the girl. I like all your friends. But this past few weeks since Grace got ill I’ve felt like I’m in the way. When you all get together you are a force to be reckoned with. I’m like an outsider.’

  ‘I’m so sorry you feel that way,’ Abby said genuinely. ‘I know that none of my friends would ever intentionally want to make you feel like an outsider. And I certainly wouldn’t.’

  ‘I know that,’ Shay said, smiling at her. ‘You are just the nicest girl I’ve ever met.’

  ‘So where does that leave us?’ Abby asked quietly. ‘Because if you are asking me to choose between you and my friends you will be disappointed.’

  ‘Oh God no, I told you I like your friends, honestly. I just feel like maybe with everything that’s going on right now we should just give each other some space, Abby?’ Shay answered. ‘You have to admit that things have got really serious really quickly. Maybe we should slow things down.’

  Abby felt like Shay had slapped her. She was so hurt that he wanted them to take a break. She’d been on ‘breaks’ before with ex-boyfriends and in her experience, once you mentioned that word, it was game over. She started to get angry. She had given this relationship her everything, her heart, her love. She truly believed that Shay felt the same. But all along he was obviously feeling trapped. She felt really stupid too. Only a month ago she was in Donegal on Grace’s hen and they were teasing her about getting engaged.

  ‘What was the past six months about Shay?’ Abby asked. ‘You told me you loved me.’

  ‘I do love you,’ Shay answered. ‘But maybe we
can just slow things down.’

  Abby had heard enough. ‘Sure we can slow things down. We can just call it quits now. That slow enough for you?’

  ‘I didn’t mean that!’ Shay said, looking worried.

  ‘Oh I know what you meant alright. You are just too chicken to say it now. Well I’m not. It’s over.’

  Shay jumped up and said, ‘Abby wait.’

  She walked to the front door and turned to Shay and said, ‘No, I won’t wait. I’ve waited long enough. I want a long-term relationship. I want marriage. I want children. I want love. I really thought that there was a strong possibility all of that would be with you. But what I don’t want is a man that can’t cope with “intense” moments in life. Nor can I be with a man who obviously has commitment issues. I’m too old and too busy to deal with your bullshit. It’s over.’ She stormed out of the front door, slamming it hard for effect, and was halfway down Castle Avenue before she realised that she’d actually stormed out of her own house, not his! Not to mention the fact that she’d left without a coat or her handbag. Shit, she thought. Well there was no way she was going back now and knocking on the door of her own house. She made her way to Tom and Gerry’s, hoping they were in; they had a spare key to her house.

  Tom opened the door and took one look at Abby and shouted to Gerry, ‘Abby’s here, Gerry. You better get out the brandy.’ He pulled her into his arms and gave her a huge hug.

  Gerry was in the hall in seconds, pulling her to him for a hug too. He said to Tom, ‘Make them doubles.’

  Pouring three glasses, Tom passed the drinks out. ‘You’ve caught up with Shay so?’ Tom said gently. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to work out that it didn’t go well.

  ‘It’s over,’ Abby said. She quickly recounted their conversation.

  ‘Oh Abby,’ Gerry said to his friend. ‘I’m so sorry to hear this. He has no idea that he’s just let the most amazing person slip through his fingers.’

  ‘I really thought he was going to propose,’ Abby told the boys quietly. ‘When all along he was just waiting to dump me. How did I get it so wrong?’ She started to cry quietly.

  ‘Oh my darling,’ Gerry ran to comfort her, tears in his eyes too. He couldn’t bear to see her upset. ‘He’s a monster. And you didn’t get it wrong. He fooled us all, didn’t he Tom?’

  ‘Absolutely. I thought he was the real deal,’ Tom confirmed. ‘But he didn’t actually dump you though? Unless I’m missing something?’

  ‘No he didn’t actually dump me, Tom,’ Abby confirmed. ‘But it was only a matter of time. He wanted a “break”, to slow things down. That’s just an excuse to use before you get the Dear John letter!’

  ‘Maybe,’ Tom concurred. ‘Must be difficult all the same for someone new to come into our little gang.’

  Gerry and Abby looked up at him, surprised.

  ‘I couldn’t have been more welcoming,’ Gerry declared dramatically.

  ‘Yes, true Gerry. We were all welcoming. But think about it. We’ve all so much history together; sure we finish each other’s sentences sometimes. And all the stuff with Grace. We’re all crying and devastated by it all. In all honesty, he doesn’t know her that well. So it must be very intimidating.’

  ‘I suppose….’ Gerry said.

  Abby was biting her lip thinking over what Tom had said. ‘Do you think I was too hard on him?’ she whispered, starting to doubt herself.

  ‘No, of course not,’ Tom said quickly. ‘He’s behaved like a right eejit this past week. But that doesn’t change the fact that up to now we all thought he was a lovely guy. Maybe he still is a lovely guy, he just got scared.’

  ‘And I told him it was over!’ Abby said, crying again.

  ‘Think we might need another bottle, darling,’ Gerry said to Tom as he topped up Abby’s glass. Then the doorbell went and they all jumped at the sound. Tom went out to answer it, and standing there looking very worried was the man himself, Shay.

  ‘Tom is Abby here by any chance?’ he asked.

  ‘She is, Shay,’ Tom replied, not budging.

  ‘Can I see her?’ Shay asked.

  ‘Why?’ Tom asked him suspiciously. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘Well she left without even her house keys,’ Shay said, holding them up. ‘I was worried she’d be locked out.’

  Tom snatched them from his hands. ‘I’ll go check and see if she wants to see you.’ He closed the door in Shay’s face. No harm in making him sweat a bit. He had made Abby cry after all. When he went into the living room he started to laugh as he witnessed Gerry quickly trying to wipe away the mascara from under Abby’s eyes.

  ‘Give me a minute while I try to sort this out,’ Gerry said to Tom dramatically.

  ‘I take it you heard that was Shay?’ Tom replied dryly. ‘Do you want to see him Abby?’

  ‘Of course she wants to see him!’ Gerry whispered in a loud voice. ‘There, you’ll have to do. A bit pale, but you will go running out of your house with no make-up bag!’ he moaned.

  ‘I’ll go get him,’ Tom said, walking to the door. ‘Come on in. She’ll see you.’

  Gerry quickly whispered to Abby, ‘Listen to me, let him do the talking. If he wants you, he’ll make sure you know that. Don’t put words into his mouth. You need to know that he really wants to be with you.’

  Abby nodded solemnly, ‘I promise.’

  Shay looked very nervous as he walked into the living room. ‘Can I speak to you Abby, on our own?’

  ‘Yes,’ Tom said at the exact same time as Gerry said ‘No.’

  Abby almost giggled, but instead turned to Gerry, ‘Thank you for everything, but I’ve got this.’

  Before he could complain, Tom grabbed Gerry’s arm and steered him to the kitchen.

  Abby sat down and said nothing. She looked at Shay and waited for him to speak.

  ‘Abby everything has gone wrong. I’ve really made a mess of it all,’ Shay said sheepishly.

  Abby simply acknowledged this with a nod. She mentally zipped her mouth shut, exactly as Gerry had told her to.

  ‘I never wanted to break up with you for good. I just thought we could have a break for a few nights,’ he continued. ‘I got scared, Abby,’ Shay said quietly. He looked at her and thought she would never say something. He was terrified he was losing her. ‘Abby, I love you. And it was only when you slammed the door to your apartment that I realised just how much. In that moment I realised that I had literally let you walk out of my life. Abby, please don’t let this be the end. Don’t let me being a complete gobshite this past week ruin what we’ve had for the past six months,’ he begged.

  ‘You have been very careless with your love for me, Shay,’ Abby said to him. ‘How do I know that you won’t be so careless again?’

  ‘Abby I am certain I will mess up every now and then. But I am also certain that I love you. I want to make this relationship work. I want us to have a future together. I don’t want to lose you. Please let me make it up to you.’

  Abby almost ran into his arms at this, but there was one more thing bothering her. ‘What about all the stuff going on with Grace? It’s not going away, Shay. She’s sick and I’m going to be there for her. I’m going to get upset at times and I need someone by my side that is not going to bail at the first sign of trouble.’

  ‘I know,’ Shay replied. ‘I’ve let you down. It won’t happen again. Let me be there for you. And all your friends. I really like them, honestly.’

  ‘We like you too, darling,’ a voice shouted from outside the door. This was followed by Tom’s voice shouting, ‘Get away from there.’

  Abby and Shay giggled at Gerry’s interruption. It was the perfect tension breaker. Shay walked over to Abby, ‘I truly am sorry, Abby.’ He looked so sincere.

  ‘I’m sorry too, if I’ve made you feel left out these past few weeks.’

  And then he leaned in and kissed her long and hard.

  Chapter Forty Six

  Catherine and Liam were waiting in Dr Kennedy’s offic
e. He was due any minute and they would find out if Grace had found her donor following Fr O’Hara’s test.

  ‘I feel sick,’ Liam said.

  Catherine knew how he felt. She hadn’t slept much since her meeting with Fr O’Hara. She’d been terrified he wouldn’t turn up for the test, but then when he did, a new fear was keeping her awake. What if he wasn’t a suitable donor?

  ‘She’s getting worse,’ Liam said simply.

  Catherine grabbed Liam’s hand and squeezed it. She knew that Liam was right.

  ‘She’s not sleeping at night. She has terrible dreams,’ Liam went on. He’d spent the last couple of nights in the hospital with Grace, as Catherine was back staying with them in Swords. ‘Sometimes I can’t stand being in that bloody hospital room anymore and I have to get out. But I’m only home for ten minutes and I can’t stand not being with Grace. It’s just so hard watching her in pain.’

  Catherine understood only too well what Liam was saying. Over the past week, Grace seemed to shrink in size. She’d lost so much weight; it looked like you could break her if you hugged her too tightly. She was covered in bruises and Catherine knew that she was in pain a lot of the time.

  ‘Where’s Dr Kennedy?’ Liam said impatiently. Then with that, the receptionist told them the doctor was ready for them. Liam and Catherine walked into his office.

  ‘Please take a seat,’ he told them both. ‘Right, as you can imagine, this is quite unorthodox,’ Dr Kennedy started. ‘Talking to you both, without Grace present.’

  ‘We have our reasons Dr Kennedy,’ Catherine said.

  He nodded in response. ‘Right, well as you know, Fr O’Hara came forward on Friday to check whether or not he is a suitable donor. What we are looking for is a donor who matches Grace’s HLA antigens, of which there are six main ones.’

  Liam was holding his breath, waiting for the doctor to get to the point.