‘You know me. Always the drama queen,’ Grace answered. ‘Do me a favour. Don’t call the child Grace if it’s a girl. I’d hate to be named after a dead person. Don’t put that on her!’
‘It could be a boy!’ Tara said.
‘Oh it’s a girl, you mark my words,’ Grace said smiling. ‘A beautiful, glorious baby girl.’
Tara tried to smile through her tears. ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to cope without you,’ she told Grace.
‘Yes you will. You’ll be a great Mommy and you’ll be an amazing Daddy, Sean,’ she said turning to him.
Sean walked over to Grace and held her hand gently. ‘These Boots are Made for Walking,’ he sang softly.
She smiled remembering the night she had sung that. A lifetime ago. ‘Thank you, Sean,’ she whispered to him. ‘For everything.’
Tom and Gerry walked in together, followed by Abby and Shay.
‘Come here, Abby.’ Grace held her arms out. ‘Be happy, princess. I’ll be watching.’ She smiled at Shay.
‘I love you, Grace,’ Abby whispered.
‘I know pet and I you,’ Grace replied.
Gerry and Tom walked over then.
‘Any movie quotes for me now?’ Grace asked Gerry gently. He couldn’t answer just shook his head gently. ‘Come here,’ she said to Gerry. ‘I’ve got one for you.’ Leaning into his ear, she whispered to him, ‘“I’m gonna miss you the most, scarecrow.”’ It was from The Wizard of Oz. It always was her favourite childhood movie.
Gerry strangled back his sobs, determined to be strong for his beloved Grace. ‘I love you darling,’ he whispered back, smiling at his best friend through his tears.
‘And I you. You two are the best couple I know,’ Grace said to them both. ‘Don’t let anyone ever tell you any different. A proper love story.’
Tom leaned in and kissed Grace. ‘I’ll look after Liam, Grace. Don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll all take care of them.’
‘I’m not worrying about a thing, Tom,’ Grace smiled at him. She closed her eyes. She knew she was loved. Wasn’t that the greatest blessing of all? She opened her eyes and looked around the room, Catherine, Noel, Tara, Sean, Gerry, Tom and Abby. All watching her with tears flowing down their cheeks, but with utmost love in their eyes.
‘Lie with me,’ she whispered to Liam. He climbed on the bed and pulled her into his arms.
‘Close your eyes and go to sleep babe,’ he said quietly. ‘Dream of that rainbow’s end, my love.’
So she did.
Chapter Fifty One
It was drizzling rain on the morning of the funeral. A damp, grey mist hung over the cold March day. Somehow it seemed apt. It was certainly how a lot of people felt as they made their way to Grace’s funeral. The church was packed and there wasn’t a single person who didn’t feel moved at the sight of Liam, holding Jack’s hand tightly, sitting at the top of the church, both with their heads hanging low. Fr Benedict was saying the funeral mass. He couldn’t believe that he had to bury the woman he’d only married to Liam a few short months ago. Liam couldn’t have got this far without his help. Between him and his mother, they had made all the arrangements.
Sitting beside Jack and Liam was Catherine and Noel and behind were all of their friends. They hadn’t left Liam’s side since Grace died. He knew they were terrified he’d go for a drink. Liam on the other hand, knew without a doubt, that he wasn’t even tempted to have one. He was all Jack had now and he wasn’t going to let him down. Not for a bloody drink.
The service went by and then it was time for Liam to make his eulogy. He knew he could have asked Tom or Sean to do this and they would have done an amazing job. But he wanted to do it himself. He wanted to honour Grace and he was determined to do it without any hysterical breaking down. He walked to the front of the altar and took a moment to compose himself, glancing at Grace’s coffin. It was surreal to think that his wife, his lover, his best friend was in there.
Looking at his son for a second, he took a deep breath and began his eulogy, his love letter to Grace, ‘Hi everyone. I’d like to say a few words on behalf of Jack and myself. Grace, my wife, was an extraordinary person and although her time here has been short, she has lived an extraordinary life. For those of you that were lucky enough to have known her, you’ll already know that fact. Grace was one of those rare people on this earth who are both beautiful inside and out. Just being in Grace’s company would make you want to be a better person. I know this to be true because she had that effect on me.’
He looked at his friends and saw the recognition in their eyes as he spoke. Taking a deep breath, he continued, ‘The happiest day of my life was the day that Grace and I married. I thought I would burst with happiness. How did I manage to gain the love of such an amazing person? I often pinch myself, thinking that I must have dreamed the past twelve months. But then I look at our son Jack and realise it was all true. I look at him and I see so much of Grace in him. He has her sweet nature, her sense of humour, her wit, her creative side, her love. Grace loved you so much Jacky. You were her world. And you are my world, buddy.’
Jack looked up at his Daddy. He couldn’t quite understand what was going on. His Mommy was in heaven with his Nana and Granddad, Daddy had told him. Did that mean he’d never see her again? Everyone was crying all the time and they seemed to cry more when they saw him. He was sad too. He wanted his Mommy so much. But somehow or other, he realised that this wasn’t going to happen.
Smiling at his son, Liam continued, ‘Seeing Grace with Jack was incredible. There was tenderness between them that I was in awe of. I will make sure Jack remembers that feeling for the rest of my life. For me and Jack, for Catherine and for each of Grace’s friends, we are all struggling to come to terms with our loss. We want to rant and rave at the injustice of it all. But we have to hold on to our memories of Grace tightly now. I know that I will never forget her and somehow I don’t think any of you will either. Grace had an impact on so many of our lives.’
Liam paused, closing his eyes. In that moment, flashes of his life with Grace flew by. He opened his eyes, looking at Jack for strength. ‘At our wedding, I told Grace that the best was yet to come,’ Liam whispered. He looked down at his family and friends briefly, shaking his head slightly. He wanted to scream at the congregation that he had got it so wrong. How could the best be yet to come without Grace by his side? But then he looked at Jack and knew that he couldn’t do that. He had to be strong, for his son’s sake. ‘This is not the end. Grace is still with us and will always be here. She’s right here,’ Liam pointed to his heart. ‘And when it’s my time to go, I know she’ll be waiting with open arms to meet me.’
Liam walked down to his seat and scooped his son into his arms. Tom clasped his shoulder reassuringly. He could hear the sobs of everybody as they wept for the injustice of it all. Liam stood up as Tom, Gerry, Sean, Martin and Noel got up to act as pallbearers. He walked to Grace’s coffin and touched it lightly, then walked back to his seat and picked Jack up, holding him close. He just needed to get through the burial now. Jack was sobbing, his little body shaking. Maybe it was the wrong choice bringing him here today. He’d spoken to a counsellor at the hospital about it and they recommended that Jack be here. Give him a chance to start the grieving process. He’d discussed it with his friends and in the end nobody could come up with an answer. Jack himself made the decision when he insisted that he be allowed to go.
Twenty minutes later, Grace’s coffin was lowered into the ground, beside her beloved Mam and Dad. Each of Grace’s loved ones had a single white rose. Tara and Sean walked over together, holding hands. They threw their roses on to the coffin. Gerry and Tom followed, throwing their roses in too, as did Abby. Catherine and Noel then did the same. Lastly Liam walked over with Jack in his arms.
‘Time to say goodbye to Mommy, sweetie-pie,’ Liam told Jack, using Grace’s term of endearment. He threw his rose onto the coffin. ‘Give Mommy your rose, buddy,’ he coaxed.
Jack
was shaking, he was crying so much. He threw his rose in, then sobbed, ‘I want my Mommy. I want my Mommy, Daddy.’ The sound of his little voice was too much for everyone to bear.
What can you say to a four year old? Liam didn’t have an answer. ‘I know buddy. I know you do.’
After the burial, the group walked away from the graveside, Jack in Liam’s arms.
Suddenly Jack squealed, pointing to the sky, ‘Daddy, look!’
Liam looked up and couldn’t believe his eyes. Breaking into a smile, Liam kissed his son on his head, ‘See Mommy’s thinking of you. She’s right here with us, just like she said she would be.’ The gang of friends looked up to where Jack was pointing excitedly, and there, against the dark, grey sky, was a bright glorious rainbow.
Epilogue
Five months had passed since Grace had died. And once again the gang of friends were gathered in a waiting room; Tom, Gerry, Abby, Shay, Liam and Jack. But this time the waiting room was filled with laughter and the buzz of several conversations as everyone sat waiting for news on the special delivery. Tara had gone into labour earlier that morning. Without having planned it, one by one each of the friends had decided to go to the maternity hospital to await the announcement. Sean had been in and out a few times, with updates for them all, the last time telling them with great excitement that they were finally moving to the delivery suite!
Finally the door burst open and Sean was standing there with a huge smile on his face as tears flowed down his cheeks. ‘I’m a Daddy!’
They all jumped up and down, screaming and hugging each other. Jack laughing at his mad aunts and uncles as they got so excited. This was great fun.
‘Boy or girl?’ Abby screamed at him above the noise.
‘It’s a girl, a beautiful, glorious baby girl.’
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First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2013
Copyright © Carmel Harrington 2013
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Beyond Grace's Rainbow: HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance Page 30