The Truth About Fairy Tales

by Annie Walker

  “I am—we are. Jackson has been my miracle. He’s changed me, made me see things that I’d never considered before. I would never have come here today without him, mom. I owe him so much.”

  “Me, too.” She hugged me close. “Me, too, my darling daughter.”

  That was how Jackson and Fred found us. Two grown women crying and hugging each other like little children.

  The second Fred came into the room there was no doubt in my mind how much he loved my mother or how she felt about him. It was right there in both their eyes for the whole world to see.

  “Fred, this is my beautiful baby girl, Maggie.” My mother practically beamed at me.

  I took the hand that Fred offered and looked into those clear honest eyes of his and said, “Actually, it’s Mary Margaret. I’d just forgotten how much I’ve always loved that name, mom. How special I felt when you called me that. Like the most important kid in the world.

  I figured Fred had to be a good ten years older than my mother, with a head full of graying brown hair. He stood tall, straight, and reliable like any pastor should. I could see him in the pulpit each Sunday preaching the word of God and meaning every single word of it.

  I hated to leave my mother that day. It was as if after finding her again, I was afraid this would all turn out to be nothing more than a dream for me. That I’d wake up that frightened little girl again, secretly wishing for her mother.

  “You’ll come have dinner with us tomorrow won’t you, Mary Margaret? Please say yes, Jackson? And then maybe you’ll come to church on Sunday and listen to Fred speak? We’d be so happy to have you. You could stay here if you like? We have a little guest room. It’s nothing fancy, but we’d loved to have you two.”

  Jackson turned to me wanting only to make me happy and I smiled at him. “I’d love to,” I said as much to him as to my mother.

  “Good, I was hoping you’d say that” he turned to my mom to give her a hug. “Looks like its all set.”

  “You sure you don’t want to stay here tonight?” she asked me tentatively, but I shook my head.

  “No, I have a closet full of presents to open tonight. And I can’t wait to see what all I got.”

  Jackson looked at me without a clue as to what I was talking about and I only shook my head. I’d explain it all to him later. M mother understood. She smiled and kissed me and nodded. Yeah, she understood.

  I was so excited that night that I think I could have floated all the way to my grandmother’s house. Poor Jackson was finding it hard to watch the road ahead because I kept kissing and hugging him. I don’t think he really minded too much.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I kept repeating that sentiment over and over. H smiled that little smile of his.

  “Does this mean I’m forgiven for plotting against you?”

  “I would forgive you just about anything right now, Mr. Riley.”

  He was thrilled. “So are you going to tell me what all this gift thing is about, little bit?”

  “No, but I will show you.” And I did. When we got back to Gran’s place, I took him to the hall closet down from my grandmother’s room. It was filled with presents.

  “These are all gifts from my mom and later from mom and Fred. I think there’s about fifteen years worth of gifts in here. You want to help me open them?”

  It was his turn to be amazed. “Okay, hold up, first let me make some coffee and then let’s see if we can put them in some sort of order. But you, Miss Monroe are going to have to open them all by yourself. After all, they’re your presents.”

  I sat on the floor of my grandmother’s living room, waiting very impatiently for Jackson to bring me coffee.

  My grandmother, bless her heart had put dates on every single one of those gifts. I believe that somewhere in the back of her mind she always believed this day would come. I’d open them just the way that she believed that I would.

  “Okay, little bit, this one says: Maggie’s tenth Christmas, I thought you were still with your mom at that time?”

  “No, that must have been right after mom came home and tried to convince me to come live with her again.” I ripped open the package to find exactly what I’d wished for that year. I’d been heavy into Barbies at that time. The little lady in my hands had been the latest and coolest Barbie. I remember how disappointed I’d been to get another type of doll from Gran. Now I understood.

  “You have no idea how much I prayed Santa would bring me this doll that year. And I’d thought, well, that Gran just hadn’t understood enough to convey all that to Santa.”

  By the time I'd opened the very last package, there were piles of wrapping paper strewn all around the living room, representative of just about every single special occasion from Christmas to my birthday to graduation. All the way from the ten-year-old little girl Barbie doll to the earrings for my law school graduation just recently. I knew I could never bring myself to get rid of any of them. I’d cherish them all for the rest of my life because each one of them would always remind me of the precious gift that Jackson had given back to me. The return of my mother and the good things about her that I’d buried beneath the pain and resentment.

  After we’d gathered up all the paper and ribbons and tossed them in the trash, we sat on the floor in front of my gifts and I realized for the first time just what a terrible thing I’d done by not giving my mother a chance to redeem herself. How difficult that must have been for Jackson to witness.

  “How do you put up with me?” I asked him, feeling like I could cry at any moment in spite of the fact that I’d been doing nothing but for most of the day. This guy knew all of my strange ways and he’d accepted every last one of them without question.

  He’d made all the adjustments in his life for me and never once had I told him how much I appreciated any of those things in him. I owed him so much, but mostly I owed him for helping me make sense of my life, even when I thought I had all the answers. Now, I realized just how wrong I’d been.

  “I think you know the answer to that already, don’t you, little bit? I love you. I’d do anything for you. And it’s not putting up with you. I love every little strange thing about you because that’s what made you who you are. You aren’t like any other woman I’ve ever met before. I love everything about you”

  “I don’t deserve you, Jackson. How can I ever make it up to you?” I turned to touch his face and saw only love and maybe a little bit of tender amusement in his eyes.

  “I think you know the answer to that one as well. You can marry me.”

  He picked me up and carried me to my little girl bed in my old room. That night there was so much tenderness in him that it took my breath away. This guy loved me—really deep down to the soul loved me. If I’d ever had any doubts about that love, today had settled all of them once and for all.

  And that night, another miracle happened. I never had another nightmare after that day.

  Developing a healthy relationship with my mother would take a whole lot of time and patience on both our parts. I knew one day it would mean the world to the both of us. But only in time. For now, I was just happy to have found her again and happy to spend time with her.

  Jackson and I spent the next evening with my mother and Fred. I was surprised and a little overwhelmed that she’d actually remembered my favorite meal growing up. Back when it was just the two of us living in that tiny little one bedroom apartment, before the drugs and men had put a wedge between us.

  My mother made me Sloppy Joes. Oh, not the kind you get out of a mix or any jar. No, mom made her recipe all from scratch. I’d never had Sloppy Joes after I’d left her because I couldn’t. Tonight they’d never tasted better.

  “You remembered? I can’t believe you remembered this was one of my favorites!” I gave her a hug before answering the question in Jackson’s puzzled expression.

  “I loved mom’s Sloppy Joes when I was little. You’ve never tasted any better.”

  He looked at them as if he wasn’t qu
ite sure what they were. “I’ve never tasted any so I’m not going to be the best judge of that.”

  “You’ve never had Sloppy Joes before? You are such a rich guy. Well, you’re in for a treat. These are the best in the world. Trust me, I should know.”

  And they were. My mother hadn’t lost her touch. But as far as Jackson was concerned they could have been terrible for all he knew, he would never have said differently. He was just happy to have me smiling.

  My mother and I stayed up late that night talking and catching up on all the years we’d missed apart. I hated to go to sleep, because we were leaving right after church the next day.

  The little church in which Fred preached each week was out in the country, just off the main highway. It was small—there were barely fifty people attending, but it was easy to see that everyone in the congregation loved both Fred and my mother and seemed to know all about me.

  I believe seeing me there with my mother was like a miracle for many of them. It was clear that they all knew of my mother’s past life and about me. It was obvious that I’d been on the receiving end of many of their prayers for a long time now.

  It was hard saying goodbye to my mom that day, but I made her and Fred promise to come visit us in Austin and I told her we’d come back after Gran returned from her honeymoon and spend more time.

  “You know, here I was feeling so proud of myself that I got you and your mother together after all these years and now I see I didn’t really have anything to do with it.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked Jackson. "You had everything to do with it.”

  “Are you kidding? With all those prayers from the church members? No way, I didn’t do a thing.”

  I had to smile at the innocent way he’d accepted my beliefs into his life as well. “Well, maybe you were the instrument used to answer those prayers. You ever think about that?”

  I could see from his expression that he was a little in awe of that thought. “The instrument of prayer, huh? I like it. I think I like being an instrument of prayer, little bit. Makes me feel good.”

  That along with his expression had me laughing from sheer happiness. “Well, you may be the instrument of prayer in this case, but you, Jackson Riley, are my answer to prayer all the time.”

  I think that made him even happier.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Back home, both of our lives took on a frantic pace again. The cases given to me were almost impossible to live through at times. I think finding my mother again helped and I was trying to develop a thicker skin as Jessie suggested, even though it was hard for the newer softer Maggie to consider.

  I spoke to my mom almost every single week. She told me that she’d talked to Gran on several occasions and of course, my grandmother was thrilled, but I suspected she already knew what was happening. I knew that she and Jackson talked quite often on their own. He called her just about as often as I did so I had a feeling none of this was coming as a surprise to her.

  Jackson hadn’t mentioned getting married since that one night in Santa Anna, but I knew he was waiting for me to settle it in my mind and I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for.

  I’d started working longer hours, coming home and all but collapsing in his arms each night. I was feeling crappy and sick, but I didn’t understand why. I didn’t have a cold, but I felt exhausted and blah most of the time. I figured I was just overdoing it with the new job and the long hours, not to mention the excitement of having my mother back in my life.

  Even through all of my newfound security, I still couldn’t quite convince myself to let go of that old fear of the past. I was almost certain something was waiting to take it all away.

  Genna was getting so close to her due date that it was a struggle for her to meet us for lunch anymore. Serena and I had started picking up take out and meeting her at her house for our weekly lunch dates.

  We both knew Genna was excited about the baby, but she was anxious as well. I think she just wanted it all to be over with.

  Jessie had asked me to help her with one of her cases, mostly doing research. I was to be second chair to her. This was the hardest case to date. I think even the seasoned Jessie was finding it hard to stomach it. For me, it was an all too familiar scenario.

  Our client was the aunt of a little girl who had been left all but abandoned by both her parents. They were addicts and given to going off for days on end, leaving the little girl alone. At first, I told Jessie I couldn’t do it. Too much of the case reminded me of my own life. That little girl was me, all the way down to the age. All I wanted to do was take her home with me.

  Jessie hadn’t backed down and hadn’t allowed me the luxury of running away. So, I did the only thing left for me to do. I threw myself into gathering all the evidence we would need to win this case for the little girl’s aunt.

  Each afternoon when I left the office, I would spend half the trip home crying. I hated the parents for being so selfish that they would put the little girl’s life in danger.

  Jessie was certain that she could win the case. One afternoon, as we sat together going over the final details in the conference room the day before the trial was scheduled to begin I felt the first cramp hit low in my abdomen that told me something was terribly wrong with me.

  It sliced though my body, doubling me over in pain. It was then that I noticed the blood, but I didn’t have time to even consider what might be wrong before another pain greater than the other brought tears to my eyes and had me screaming out and reaching for Jessie’s arm to clench in my pain.

  “Maggie? Oh, my God, what is it?”

  “Jessie…Jessie, I’m bleeding. I think I need to go to the hospital.”

  That was the last real thing I remembered before waking up in the hospital. I’d lost consciousness soon after. I didn’t really remember anything of the ride to the hospital, only being conscious in bits and pieces of conversation and unfamiliar faces around me trying to soothe away my fears.

  When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed with Jackson holding my hand and Jessie and Rich standing close by. I learned that I’d had a miscarriage. I hadn’t even known I was pregnant.

  Doctor Miranda Raymond who had been my physician for years, responded to the ER doctor’s page. She’d waited with Jackson until I was conscious to tell me the news.

  Jackson held my hand while Miranda told me that there wasn’t any known cause for the miscarriage. In other words, I hadn’t done anything to provoke it. She told us that sometimes it was just the body’s own way of letting you know something was wrong with the pregnancy.

  After Jessie and Rich left us alone I asked the question that was most on my mind.

  “Will I be able to have more children?”

  “Maggie, you are a healthy young woman. I don’t see any reason to doubt that you will be able to carry another baby to full term.” There was just a little bit of hesitancy in her voice that told me there was always the chance of another miscarriage.

  “You’re not telling me everything are you, Miranda?”

  “I am. There’s always a small chance that this could happen again, but I don’t see that in your history. When you’re ready to have children, we’ll worry about it more.”

  In my mind, I knew she was telling me I was healthy and should not have a problem conceiving, but me being the frightened little girl that I still was saw that small chance of disaster and focused on it.

  Miranda released me later that evening, after keeping a close watch on me for a while and Jackson drove me home. It was the longest trip I could ever remember taking. It seemed like it took hours.

  We walked into the house and our little dog came hobbling out to greet us, but not even Sidney could ease my sadness at that moment.

  “I’m going to take a bath,” I told Jackson without looking at him. I really just needed to be alone to collect my scattered emotions and I believe he understood all of that. Jackson knew me so well.

  I sat in the warm tub, but I couldn’t cry. I w
anted to cry for the child that we’d lost today, but I was just too stunned. I hadn’t even known that I was pregnant. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

  “Hey, you’ve been in here an awful long time? Maggie, you’re shivering.” Jackson came in, holding a towel for me. He gathered me in its warmth and dried my chilled skin before picking me up in his arms and carrying me to the bedroom.

  “You want to rest for a while?” he asked me, but I only shook my head. I didn’t want to be alone.

  “No, no, I don’t.”

  “Then come downstairs. I made a fire for you.” I dressed in drab gray sweats that matched my mood and wished that I could cry at just how thoughtful he was being to me. It was still warm in Austin, but he’d made a fire and turned the AC up just because he knew how much I loved them.

  I sat in front of it staring into its depths while Jackson poured me a glass of wine.

  “I didn’t know. How could I not know I was pregnant? I mean you’re supposed to feel something, aren’t you?”

  I turned to look at him and saw the tenderness that was always there when he looked at me. He touched my hair, his hand, warm and strong, lingered there.

  “Not always…it was too soon, little bit. I’m sorry, I know you’re hurting.”

  There was just a small catch to his voice, but it was enough to make me look at him more closely.

  “What about you? Are you hurting? Did you want this baby, too?” I saw it in his eyes—those beautiful blue eyes—long before he could speak the words.

  “Yes…I never realized it until today. Until…” Until I’d lost the baby.

  “Oh, Jackson, I’m so sorry. I’ve only been thinking about me. I never considered you might be hurting as well. I’m so sorry.” He gathered me close and we held each other for a long time that night, each comforting the other.

  “We’ve never talked about children before. Do you want more children?”

  His smile reached out to me, even though I still leaned against his chest. “Only with you, little bit. I’ve never really thought about things like marriage and babies before I met you. I want them all with you.”