Of Sea and Cloud

by Jon Keller

  He followed Jonah into the house. Charlotte and Celeste were at the table.

  Jonah avoided their eyes.

  Celeste got up and poured a cup of coffee for Bill. How are you, Bill?

  I’m good.

  You don’t look like you feel very good.

  I don’t feel good. No. I ain’t good.

  Are you okay? You and Osmond sold some lobsters out of the pound, didn’t you?

  Yeah. Ten thousand pounds this morning.

  It must have been hard there without having your father with you.

  Bill concentrated on the tabletop as he sipped his coffee.

  We got leftover waffles if you’re hungry, Bill.

  Sure, said Bill. He looked defeated and repeated himself. Sure.

  Celeste gave him a plate with waffles. She stood behind him and put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed the muscle. How’s Erma Lee faring? Is she at home?

  She’s good, Celeste. Thanks for asking. Bill lifted his fork but didn’t touch the waffles. He held the fork in front of himself as if examining its tines for trueness.

  They heard a truck park and soon Virgil ambled down the hall and into the kitchen with Chowder following him. Captain Bill. You eating my waffles?

  I guess I am, Virgil.

  Good, said Virgil. Celeste still had her hand on Bill’s shoulder and Virgil put his hand on the other shoulder and squeezed. A big happy family right here. He went to the cupboard and took out a bottle of coffee brandy and filled a glass with ice and poured the brandy. Celeste watched as he sloshed some milk into it.

  Goddamn it, Virgil, she said.

  Virgil didn’t respond. He took a sip and put the drink in front of Bill. He mixed another drink and put it in front of Jonah then lit a cigarette. Jonah took a swallow and bent and lifted Chowder onto his lap and the dog licked at Jonah’s mouth and ears.

  Bill said, We found the old man today.

  You found the old man, Virgil said and grunted and his big cheeks shook.

  Celeste stared at her husband.

  Yeah, Bill said. He held his drink with both hands as if the cold liquid would warm his fingers. On the third tow the drag come up with his skull in it.

  The room dropped silent.

  You found your father’s skull? Charlotte said.

  Bill nodded. Third tow.

  How’d you know it was his?

  Bill blinked several times. His gold tooth is how. But you could tell anyway.

  Celeste stared at Virgil. Her face drained and when Virgil saw this he crossed the room and took her in his arms. His cheek brushed her cheek. Then his voice thick and warm as blood shot down her ear and she was the only one to hear him say please trust me. His voice was honest and urgent and his thumbs brushed her cheekbones and pressed the soft pockets of skin below her eyelids and she gave him a slight nod but said, We need to call the police.

  He kissed her forehead and said, No. Not yet.

  Virgil went to the cupboard and took out a third and fourth glass and mixed two drinks. He put one in front of Charlotte. He leaned against the counter with one palm down. He exhaled for a long time and when he spoke he spoke slow. Tell me, what’d Osmond do?

  What’d he do? Bill said. He threw the skull over the dam into the harbor is what he did. Hell if I ever expected that. Threw it half a mile near and told me to keep it quiet. He don’t want cops and such down there and I don’t blame him for that.

  He threw the skull. Virgil swirled the ice around his glass and sipped it and wiped the brandy and milk from his mustache. Good.

  Good? Bill said. How’s that good? How’n hell’d the old man get in there unless someone put him in there? He didn’t go and jump in the pound and his boat somehow run itself half to France. It don’t make a goddamn bit of sense.

  Most likely not, Captain, said Virgil. Where’s Erma Lee at?

  She’s home or over to her cousin’s or something. I don’t know. Why?

  Just wondering.

  I’m heading there now, said Bill. I’m getting my dive suit on and I’m going in that fucking pound and I’m seeing what I find and I’m bringing the Highliner with me too, whether he likes it or not.

  Jonah looked around the room. He heard his brother and Virgil talking but the voices sounded like they came through intercoms. He held Chowder with both arms and the dog licked at his mouth and he didn’t stop her and he didn’t stop the image of his father’s skeleton from occupying his mind. Other thoughts drifted by and he saw himself getting in his truck and driving through some desert landscape or shutting himself up at the camp for a very long time. Then he saw himself holding Julius by the throat.

  One second, Virgil said. Tell me about Jason Jackson, Captain.

  Jason? What the fuck for? Enough with the fucking questions, Virgil. I don’t know nothing you don’t know. I met his driver Daniel. They said Jason’s over in godfuck Japan then he’s going to Hawaii and then Osmond’s visiting him is all I heard today. I asked Osmond if it was pound business but he said it was his business and his alone. Now I got to go.

  Virgil dropped silent. His cheeks hung and his eyelids drooped.

  Virgil? said Bill.

  I’m thinking—Did he mention Benji?

  No.

  Okay, said Virgil. You go ahead and dive on him then. That’ll work fine.

  Work fine? Celeste said. She held her hands up at the sides of her head as if she would pull her own hair out. Her voice was angry and frantic. I’ve heard enough. This is absolutely ridiculous. It’s frightening. I’m going to call the police and I don’t give a shit what else.

  She stepped to the wall and took the phone from the hook but before she could dial Virgil was at her side clicking the phone off with his finger. When he spoke his voice was kind and it was understanding. Celeste, he said. Think about this. If you call the police they are going to drain that pound out. It will be a total loss. Those lobsters in there were paid for on credit and Bill and Jonah and Osmond owe on them. And there’s the mortgage on the pound itself. There’s just no possible way to drain that pound and have these boys not go absolutely bankrupt. If it was just Osmond, that would be fine by me. But Bill and Jonah have a stake in this. If they lose those lobsters that are in there right now, the pound will be sold. They will lose everything they have. Houses and boats and all of it. Period. Maybe the buyer will use it as a lobster pound but chances are that we’ll see a summer home put right there. Is that what we want? Is that what Nic would want?

  Celeste’s face quivered. Her eyes darted around as if she couldn’t focus.

  Bill rounded the table and put his hand on her shoulder. I know it, Celeste. I want to call them as bad as you, believe me. It’s my dad in there. But Virgil’s right. There just ain’t no way.

  Celeste still held the phone in her fist and Virgil still held his finger over the button. She turned and looked to Jonah as if to plead her case to him. She saw on his face that he agreed with Virgil and Bill. She slowly hung up. Again Virgil took her in his arms but she held her hands out to the side and would not touch him.

  When he released her she said, Why not have police divers, then? If Bill can dive in there, the police could too.

  Jonah spoke up. They’re right, Celeste. The cops won’t be happy with just diving. One thing will lead to another. I agree with them.

  Virgil gazed at Jonah and they locked eyes and Virgil nodded once to him.

  Bill said, Good then. I’m gone.

  Jonah stood up to go.

  Can I come? said Charlotte.

  No, said Celeste. No you don’t. You stay here.

  It’s fine, Mom, Charlotte said. I want to go.

  And see Nicolas’s dead body or skeleton or whatever they find? I don’t think so.

  I can go, Charlotte said.

  Celeste turned the faucet on and held her hand under the stream until the water came hot. Do whatever you want, she said and squeezed dish soap into the sink. All of you. Just do whatever the fuck you want. I’ll make your fuc
king dinner.

  • • •

  Jonah and Charlotte waited in the truck outside Bill’s house. Jonah felt his leg and hip against hers and he suddenly forgot all else and remembered a moment months ago when all was good and she’d climbed into his bed with only her thin yellow underwear on. How dark her summertime skin had been and how bright the yellow was against the skin. He forced himself to look out the window but all he saw was yellow fabric and smooth skin and all he felt was the heat of her hip against his.

  Snow covered the roofs and yards of the dozen or so farmhouses around them. Everything was quiet except for an urchin dragger idling in the harbor. He glanced at Charlotte and her lips were crimped tight and she looked as furious as she had the night before.

  Are you okay? he asked. His voice was quiet. Did something happen last night?

  No, she said. I’m fine. Just leave me alone about it. Please.

  • • •

  Minutes later. Bill turned the truck around and began toward the pound.

  You think someone killed your father, Bill? Erma Lee said as they drove. She sat wedged between Jonah and the door.

  I don’t know.

  Jonah didn’t say anything for a while and he thought about the things Virgil had told him then said, Seems a bit like it. I mean, how the fuck else would he end up in there?

  Yeah, Erma Lee said. What do you think, Bill?

  I don’t know.

  That’s what makes sense though, Erma Lee said. Don’t it?

  I just flat out don’t know. For fuckachrist’s sake. I don’t know. Now everyone shut up. Please.

  Jesus fucking Christ, Jonah said. He shifted his legs and hips and tried to make more room but all four of them were stuffed across the bench seat. All he could smell was Erma Lee’s perfume and all he could see was Charlotte’s angry face. The windshield felt too close as if gradually descending. His skin was tight and itching and sweating and trees blinked by one by one. He felt near panic. He fought the urge to elbow his way out of the moving truck and dive into a snow bank. He wrapped his fingers around themselves and drove his feet into the floor panel and sighed.

  Charlotte looked over at him with disapproval and disgust and said, God.

  It felt like it took an hour to reach the pound. Bill backed the truck up to the building and parked. He left the engine running and no one moved. Then Jonah said, Open the goddamned doors someone.

  Erma Lee got out and Jonah piled out next and he walked over the snow bank and down the rocks to the water and he splashed his face and looked out over the harbor mouth. He breathed in and out several times. The names Osmond Randolph and Jason Jackson and Julius Wesley surged and confusion spread like sea foam in his head. He bent and splashed his face once more. He tasted the saltwater on his lips. It seemed that everything Virgil had said was true and every reason he could now think of to not call the police seemed petty and trite but even so he’d rather shoot Osmond himself and go to prison himself than be the one to make the call.

  When he turned around he saw Charlotte standing on the bank above him. Her hands were locked at her waist and she lifted them toward Jonah in a gesture which he could not interpret. Virgil had arrived and she got in the truck with him. He had a cigarette going and he lifted his glass and drank.

  Jonah crouched on the rocks and put his head in his hands. He spat salty white spittle onto the rocks. He pinched his eyes closed and said, Fucking Julius Wesley.

  He climbed the bank and helped Bill pull his tank and weight belt on. Bill slipped into the water and fitted his mask over his face. Snow ringed the pound above the high water mark. He tested his air then dipped beneath the water and Jonah and Erma Lee watched his silhouette move like a bird through the water. They lost sight of him but followed his air bubble trail as he circled then he stood and said, I can’t see shit. We got her all mudded up from dragging and them bugs are right riled. Give me that light.

  Jonah fished Bill’s dive light out of the bag and handed it to Bill. The tide poured out through the dam.

  Tides going fast, Jonah said.

  Bill glanced at the dam and nodded. He squeezed the dive light trigger and looked at the beam and pulled his mask down and dipped into the water.

  After twenty minutes he came up with two leg bones. The bones were clean and beige like the skull and Bill said, She’s clearing up some now.

  He went back under and Jonah didn’t touch the bones but stared at them and after another ten minutes Bill found the pelvis and torso. Erma Lee climbed up the ladder and walked past Charlotte and Virgil and disappeared down the road without looking back.

  Bill stopped when he had what he figured to be his father’s entire skeleton except for the skull. He pulled the weight belt and tank off and handed them to Jonah and pulled himself up onto the float.

  This ain’t right, he said.

  Them lobsters you sold are half the old man, huh, said Jonah. He felt seasick but kept talking. Someone’s gonna find a finger in their goddamned tomalley. That’d be enough reason for them to drain her out right there. Lobsters eating people ain’t exactly appetizing.

  Bill’s eyeballs were big and round without his glasses on. That ain’t exactly what I was thinking weren’t right. He took a moment to breathe then said, You think we should call the cops, Jonah? Just let them drain her out? The gulls didn’t drop him in here.

  I know that. But what’n hell the cops going to do?

  I don’t know. Whatever cops do. Look for a weapon.

  They already looked at his boat with a fucking magnifying lens.

  We could call the FBI, Bill said.

  Yeah, and like you said, they’ll drain this whole thing and we’ll be fucked. You want to lose your boat? You want to lose this pound?

  I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore.

  See what Virgil says.

  Virgil’s right ignorant drunk. He couldn’t pull a sick whore off a pisspot.

  Might be, said Jonah. Hell, I don’t know.

  Bill loaded his dive gear into the bed of his truck. Jonah stayed on the float. Their father’s bones were piled on the wooden deck. Jonah stared at the bones and had a hard time understanding that the dismembered skeleton was his father and not some coyote-ravaged deer carcass.

  When Bill returned he said, What’d you want to do with him, Jonah?

  Jonah thought for a few seconds. Put him in his coffin? Next to Mom?

  We ain’t digging up a grave.

  I guess not. I don’t know, Jonah said and as he gazed at the bones the fact that this was his father suddenly penetrated and he fell to his knees and vomited.

  Are you okay, Jonah? Virgil said. He stood behind Bill with a glass in his hand and a cigarette burning. Charlotte was still in the truck.

  Yeah, said Jonah. He wiped at his lips and nostrils and tears flooded from his eyes. His entire head throbbed. Just puking.

  Let’s get him in a tote or something, Captain. Jonah, are you sure you’re okay?

  Yeah. I’m fine.

  This is hard stuff, I know, and I’m sorry for that. You two shouldn’t have to go through this. But someone needs to come back at low water tonight and see if that skull’s out there somewhere and I’m too old and fat and crippled to get over those rocks. We’ll take Nic offshore tomorrow and give him a proper burial.

  I can do it, said Jonah and hacked and spat and stifled a sob. I can do it, he said again. He thought for a few seconds before continuing. But you really think he was killed, Virgil?

  Bill pulled on a pair of blue rubber gloves and waited for Virgil’s response.

  Virgil swished his drink in his mouth and swallowed and his voice turned angry. What in the clamfuck sort of question is that? Why don’t you tell me all the ways you think he might not of been killed?

  I don’t know.

  Virgil breathed in and out. He closed his eyes then opened them and his voice was once more gentle when he spoke. Neither do I, he said. Neither do I.

  I don’t get it. Jonah blew h
is nose into the water then leaned down and sucked a mouthful of water and gargled the salt and spat it out. You think it’s like you said, Virgil? With Japan and Jason Jackson and Osmond?

  What’s that? Bill said.

  Nothing, Virgil said.

  Nothing what? What’s Jason Jackson and Japan got to do with anything?

  Nothing, Virgil said again.

  Fine then, Bill said as he put the bones into two fish trays. He moved slowly and the bones thudded against the hard plastic.

  Virgil shook his head at Jonah then walked away.

  Fuck you, Jonah whispered to the spot Virgil had occupied. He watched the empty doorway. Bill stood next to him. What’s Virgil talking about, Jonah? Jason Jackson?

  I don’t know. He had some bullshit notion that Osmond done it.

  I’d say bullshit is right. I’m more concerned for Virgil than Osmond anyhow, Bill said. He’s drunk as hell lately. He ain’t well.

  I know it. I know it.

  Bill and Jonah each carried a fish tray full of bones to the truck and as they crossed the driveway Jonah saw Charlotte in Virgil’s truck watching him. She looked angry but she made no sign that she saw him and he didn’t care at all.

  • • •

  That evening Jonah drove to the pound. He sat in his truck watching dusk settle as the tide receded and the last light flushed like dying embers over the rock and sand and seaweed. Even inside the cab he could feel the air turning colder. He smelled the saltwater and he watched the western sky. He closed his eyes and listened to the gentle work of waves on the shoreline. The methodic beat brought to mind the image of the pound as a heart only now his mind allowed the image to sculpt itself into a body that surrounded the heart. The body was neither man nor beast but a living coastline of rock and water and sky and Jonah saw himself and his brother and the memory of their father stuck within that cold flesh.

  He made his way down the riprap and rockweed slope then over a patchwork of sand and boulders. A tongue of water poured out of the sluiceway in the center of the dam and ran in a small river into the harbor. The earth spun and darkness approached and far out at sea the tide shifted beneath the moon. Jonah waded across the tidal river and walked aimlessly among the rocks in search of his father’s skull. He felt stuck within that body he’d imagined and it was solid and it was real. Every few minutes he’d look up at the line of sea and remind himself that he was actually out there on the rocks searching for a lost part of his father.