The Midwife's New-Found...

by Fiona McArthur

  Misty's stomach took a dive. She'd almost convinced herself Ben would stay at the upmarket guest house on the lake but, of course, he was staying here! Murphy's law. She plastered a smile on her face. 'Dr Moore. Yes, I've met him.'

  'He says you've more than met him,' Ned said archly, and Misty felt her face flame. Surely not.

  'You're blushing, missy.' Ned chuckled. 'No need to be embarrassed about saving someone's life.'

  Misty only just stopped herself from saying, Oh, that. Instead, she looked away at the distant hospital and said, 'I don't like to think about it, that's all.'

  'Fair enough.' Ned nodded sagely. 'So we've a couple of new boarders.'

  'A couple?' Misty stopped as she reached for the screen door handle.

  'The new doctor and his daughter. Didn't you know about her?' Ned returned to his carving. 'About sixteen, lots of attitude and pregnant. Reminds me of my son when he was a teen and his girlfriend was pregnant. We fell out when he went into the army.'

  Ned had a son? More importantly, Ben had a daughter and she was pregnant. Here was a whole world she didn't know about. The teenage daughter of the man whose life she'd saved and whose arms she'd slept in.

  Ben wasn't here to see her at all. Just the place she'd told him about. Cold disappointment settled on her stomach.

  That put a whole new slant on things and, really, it gave her the excuse she'd needed to shut down that attraction she'd been fighting this morning.

  She thought about it some more. So despite the fact he'd infuriated her with his closed mind in the birth centre he'd actually come to take advantage of it.

  Knowing that still didn't make it any easier. How was she going to face Ben's daughter when she had problems facing Ben? She sighed and opened the door. With her chin up, she guessed. That was all she could do.

  Ben's entry into her life had certainly provided a whole host of new situations to cringe about, not least that she'd assumed he'd felt the same attraction she had.

  She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened one to peer at Ned. 'Are they both here now?'

  'Aye.' Ned nodded sagely as he whittled at his wombat's legs. 'The wee one is in the kitchen with Louisa and Ben.'

  * * *

  The 'wee one' was almost six feet tall and towered over Misty when she went in to meet her. Misty didn't look at Ben. She couldn't.

  'Ah, here's Misty,' Louisa said placidly. 'This is Tammy, Dr Moore's daughter, and you've met Ben.'

  The first thing about Tammy, apart from her height, was her magnificent blue eyes, just like Ben's. She needed to stop thinking about Ben's eyes. She concentrated on the daughter she hadn't known about and her mouth followed her brain, unfortunately.

  'Hello, there, Tammy. You have your father's eyes.'

  The girl tugged at the hem of the bulky sweater, unusual in the Queensland heat and obviously worn to disguise her pregnancy. She sniffed. 'He's not my real father, just my stepfather.'

  Ben said, 'Tammy!' and Misty opened and shut her mouth but before she or Ben could think of anything to say, dear, sweet, unflappable Louisa had the situation under control.

  'Put down your tail, young woman,' Louisa said calmly. 'Misty is the person you'll be needing in a while when that babe of yours comes along.'

  Misty smiled at Louisa for bringing the whole situation back onto even ground. Then she smiled at Tammy again. 'You'll be fine. Welcome anyway, Tammy. I hope you'll settle in easily here.'

  She glanced at Ben, who was clearly unhappy with his 'daughter', and she began to wonder at their relationship before she stopped herself.

  It was all too complicated and none of her business. Instead, she stepped across to hug Louisa. 'And how are you?'

  Louisa patted her arm. 'I'm fine. You know I love guests. Now, you scoot along and get changed and Tammy can set the table while you're gone. Ben will pour a glass of wine for you on the back veranda.'

  Louisa knew how to organise people. That was one of the first things Misty had discovered when she'd moved into the residence and one of the most endearing.

  She scooted and while she showered and changed she remembered the look of hurt on Ben's face at Tammy's disclosure. More things she didn't understand about Ben and maybe more reasons why she should tell herself she'd done the right thing a month ago.

  Tammy was Ben's stepdaughter. So who had been looking after her while Ben had lived at his beach house? It had been hard to discern just how pregnant Tammy was, with the sweater she'd been wearing, so that gave no clues on how long they were staying.

  Ben's house hadn't shown touches of a young girl, except suddenly Misty remembered the shells on the bathroom mirror, and nodded to herself.

  There was no doubt Tammy's pregnancy was the real reason for Ben coming there.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THE sun was setting below the mountains behind the lake when Misty stepped out onto the back veranda.

  She'd grown to love the view across the lake. The trees around the shore were reflected in the stillness of the water so they looked twice as tall as they were mirrored.

  Tiny canoes and kayaks zigzagged across the water, disturbing flocks of waterbirds.

  Every afternoon at sunset a new array of colours would transform the sky.

  Ben was seated on the swing chair, swaying back and forwards as if unable to keep still, and he stood up as she closed the door behind her.

  The lake faded into the distance and suddenly all she could see was him.

  Big, dark, brooding. And not here at Lyrebird Lake for her at all.

  His gaze drifted appreciatively over her T-shirt and jeans and something she'd randomly chosen was suddenly a satisfying choice. Funny how an attractive man could make you feel that way just by looking at you, she thought wryly.

  Then he stood up, tall and magnetic in front of her. 'Here. Have this seat.

  'The view's very pleasant,' he said, but the glint in his eye suggested he wasn't talking about the lake, and she felt that warmth of pleasure again. She really had to stop reacting to him.

  'Thank you.' She sat down against her better judgement, it would have been churlish to refuse, but she unobtrusively crossed her fingers that he wouldn't end up hip to hip with her because she didn't think she could cope with that much proximity.

  She knew where proximity with Ben could lead. 'The lake is lovely, isn't it?' How long could they chat about nothing before one of them fell asleep? she mockingly asked herself.

  Thankfully he didn't sit next to her on the swing, but he was still too close when he pulled the chair up next to her and sat down.

  'Different from the ocean,' Ben said in the same vein, but he was looking at her.

  Ben tired of scenery talk first. 'I've thought about you a lot, Misty.'

  She mentally sniffed. Ah, Ben, have you? I find that hard to believe. You haven't rung, you obviously figured out where to find me, and it's been a month. But she didn't say any of it.

  She should have but instead she looked away from him to the colours in the sky. He wasn't there for her. 'How? You don't know anything about me.'

  'I'd like to think that isn't true.'

  If he'd stretched out his hand he could have put his fingers over hers. He didn't, but just the thought of that possible contact had her sliding her hand unobtrusively under the back of her leg and out of reach.

  Ben saw, grimaced, didn't comment, and went on softly, 'Actually, I think we learnt a lot about each other in a very short time. It's the present that's important.'

  Well, she certainly had some blanks in his past. 'Do you have any more children?' she asked dryly.

  As soon as the words left her mouth she felt ashamed. It really was none of her business. She'd been a stranger and he hadn't needed to tell her anything.

  He handed her the wine and she knew she wouldn't drink it because if she couldn't keep control of her mouth without alcohol, the last thing she needed was to blurt out something she'd really regret.

  'Thank you,' she said, and rested t
he glass on the table beside her. Frustratingly, she couldn't help it that her fingers shook.

  Of course he didn't miss it. The way he was looking at her he wouldn't miss anything. 'What's wrong?'

  'Nothing.' She looked away and then back at him. 'Though it is a little embarrassing to be talking to you here.'

  He raised his eyebrows. 'Why? I thought we communicated very well the first time we met.'

  She looked away and her voice dropped. 'We didn't communicate, Ben, we kissed, and if I hadn't left when I did we would have slept together in the other sense of the word.'

  'But you did leave and still you made a big impact on me. That's why I'm here, Misty. But the last thing I want is to embarrass you.'

  She wanted to ask, Is that the first or the second reason you're here, Ben? But she hoped she wasn't so pathetically needy.

  Instead, she said brightly, 'So how long are you staying? It's certainly good timing for Andy and Montana.'

  Ben sighed at her change of tack and she cringed a little at her own cowardice because he'd been brave to talk of the attraction between them, so why couldn't she be?

  To make it worse, he allowed himself to be diverted and contrarily she didn't want that either.

  He answered her second comment first. 'It's good timing for Tammy, too. Her school has suspended her and Bridget's mother disowned her when she found out she was pregnant. I've wanted to get Tammy away from both for a while now.'

  She was glad she could be of some use, she thought, forcing herself to be realistic. 'So you think Lyrebird Lake will be good for your stepdaughter?'

  'I do. But I should say I refuse to call Tammy my stepdaughter because until my wife's death I'd never suspected she wasn't my own.'

  Misty's voice softened. Poor Ben. 'That must have been a shock.'

  He shrugged but couldn't quite hide the impact it had on him. 'It took away any chance of my input over her life in her grandmother's care. All I can hope is that Tammy does understand that I still love her as my daughter. She's been mine since she was born. First steps, first words, first day at school—you can't erase parenting with a DNA test result.'

  Ben stood up as if he didn't know what he could do. 'Lyrebird Lake can't be bad.' He turned to face her. 'Andy told me there's another young woman a little older than Tammy, with a two-year-old, who runs a young mums' class. I heard you were involved in that, too.'

  'That's right.' He'd done his homework, Misty had to admit. 'Emma is great. I'd be happy to introduce the two girls if they agree. Emma's started uni part time to be a midwife.'

  They were talking about something that had nothing to do with the issues between them and it was her fault. She'd changed the subject when she'd thought he would persist about the last time they'd met.

  She wondered what she did want from this man she had nothing in common with except chemistry. What was realistic?

  'So how long are you staying, Ben?' That was what she wanted to know. Needed to know. To work out how she was going to approach managing the way this man made her feel.

  Ben gazed out over the lake. 'I expect to stay at the very least a month, with an option to extend after that. Tammy's baby is due in four weeks.'

  A month or more. Her stomach fluttered with the news. How was she going to cope with that?

  'Only a month to go,' she said with a bright smile plastered on her face. 'Same time as Montana? Goodness.' She sounded like a simpleton but Misty's mind spun with times and dates. 'Tammy's that close? I could hardly tell she was pregnant.'

  Misty took a sip of the wine because she couldn't possibly get more addlebrained. Luckily Ben was thinking about his daughter and not the ditsy redhead opposite him.

  'It's not a big baby,' Ben went on, oblivious to Misty's squirming. 'She hides her bump in those heavy jumpers no matter what the weather and hasn't been eating well.'

  Misty could see his concern and gratefully she allowed herself to be drawn away from her own worries. 'Queensland's heat will make camouflage a bit trickier. I think the sooner we get her and Emma together the better.'

  She thought back to his reactions this morning in the unit. 'So how do you feel about having your step-grandchild born in a birth centre?'

  He looked away to the view and she wondered why. 'You said it was the best,' he said. 'That's why we're here.'

  He managed to hide what he was thinking much more successfully than she could. 'Lyrebird Lake is the best,' she agreed, 'but you haven't answered my question.'

  He smiled ruefully. 'How do I feel?' He shrugged. 'I'm worried.'

  Ah. No surprise there. 'Why?'

  'Mainly because I fear she won't be able to cope with the pain of contractions, not having the option of an epidural or strong drugs, and I won't be able to help her once she's in labour in this environment.'

  At least he was being honest, Misty acknowledged that, but he just didn't get it. It wasn't his fault. It was his training in the big hospital system. 'She could transfer out. But is she the one that won't cope or is it you, Ben?'

  He shrugged, and she could see he wasn't willing to go there. 'It's not just the labour. I'm worried that she'll get sick, worried that she'll get postnatal depression because her mother did, with tragic consequences. Tammy is high risk.'

  Ben definitely had demons and she couldn't fix them.

  'All women are at risk, Ben, and maybe there is more risk for Tammy, but that can be monitored. Physically she's a normal teenager. Younger women than Tammy have been having babies in other cultures since the beginning of time.'

  'But not my daughter.' The anguish was real in his voice and she wanted to hug him and tell him Tammy would be OK. Tammy's mother's history of depression was a real concern, of course. But birth outside the medical model was something her brother, Andy, had had to come to grips with for Montana, and Ben needed to as well.

  She didn't know what she could say to help him. 'I'm sure you said you wrote a book on postnatal depression, that makes you an expert, so you should have that covered. Tell me, Ben, are there any good feelings about this pregnancy in your head?'

  He frowned. 'Of course there are—or will be when she's safely delivered.'

  She'd known it. Misty smiled at Ben. 'She won't be "delivered" if she has her baby here, Ben. She'll give birth and we'll support her.' Misty couldn't help rubbing it in and reluctantly he smiled.

  'OK.' He held up his hands in surrender. 'Women-centred care—non-intervention, not "delivery". I can feel the grey hairs already. And that's not counting trying to be a parent to a teenage girl I really do need help with.'

  That was what he wanted from her. That was all. To help him, short term, to parent his teenage daughter and be there when she gave birth. It wasn't an onerous thought but it stung a little when it came with his connection to her.

  Misty sighed and wispy dreams of Ben being irresistibly attracted to her dissolved into vapour. 'I understand a little of what she's feeling, Ben. My mother died when I was young and as a teen I was angry. That's when a young woman needs her mother—and again when she's pregnant. I understand her mother may not be alive but Tammy has you. She's not alone. Just like I have Andy, and now Montana.'

  Ben searched her face as if to see if she really believed what she'd said. 'So you're saying I've done the right thing, bringing her here.'

  Of course he had. Her issues with him being here were her own problem. 'I'm saying you're not alone in dealing with this if you don't want to be. You'll both be fine because the support network is here.'

  She needed to get over feeling bitter that Ben hadn't followed her after all. He'd decided his daughter could benefit from the service Misty had told him about. That was a good thing.

  She'd make a real effort to help Tammy settle because that was why Ben was there and she needed to accept that as soon as possible before she said or did something rash.

  Then Ben blew all her good sense out of the water.

  'I do feel good about being here.' His crooked smile tugged at her and she fe
lt as if the air on the veranda had suddenly been sucked away to leave her gasping.

  'I see they rent canoes on the lake,' he mused. 'Any chance you'll come for a paddle with me tomorrow afternoon and show me the sights?'

  No. None. She shook her head. 'What about Tammy?'

  'I asked her.' He grinned at Misty like a mischievous boy and she found herself returning the smile. 'She told me she was too fat and to take a jump.'

  Ben's glance passed over her in the way men seemed to learn from birth. It really wasn't fair, and the effect he had on her brought back all the weaknesses she'd tried to deny at the beach. This was not a good idea.

  'Come with me,' he said. 'It'll be fun.'

  What mischief could they get up to in a canoe? Misty told herself, and then the picture of herself in Ben's arms as they drifted past the tree-lined banks left her in no doubt that mischief could be had.

  Misty fought valiantly and unsuccessfully not to blush. She stood up and went to the rail to at least hide the evidence.

  'We'll see. It depends on what time I get off work.'

  'And on the weather, and that all the boats aren't rented out, and that neither of us breaks a leg.' Ben teased as he came to stand beside her. 'Are you frightened of me, Misty?'

  Misty turned to face him and she searched his strong features for the understanding he'd surprised her with before. 'No, Ben. Of me,' she said very quietly. He smiled at her. There it was. Understanding.

  'Well, you should be.'

  * * *

  The next afternoon the sun shone warmly through the few scattered clouds in an otherwise blue Queensland sky and the lake looked extremely inviting to Ben as he walked beside Misty down to the boatshed. And not just the lake looked inviting.

  'This is the first time I've been off work in the last month,' Misty mused.

  'The babies understand you need to play sometimes. And the shed had plenty of boats.' Ben grinned down at the woman walking beside him and congratulated himself on a great idea. 'It's not even raining.'

  'Meaning?' Misty looked up at him and he resisted the urge to drop a kiss on her lips. She really should be more wary of him than of herself. She had disgustingly strong willpower.