The Opposite of Wild

by Kylie Gilmore

  Liz smiled. She’d let this one go.

  Chapter Eight

  The rest of the week with Maggie went smoothly. She had a hangover and had sworn off alcohol. They’d gone back to convertible drives for excitement and fun. Best of all, Liz hadn’t run into Ryan. She couldn’t quite believe it, though she had made sure they were home earlier this Thursday to avoid him on his weekly grocery run. She hadn’t needed to call him, and her stress level had gone to zero.

  And now it was Friday movie night with Daisy. Her sister had worked an earlier shift today at Garner’s, so they had some sister bonding time.

  The doorbell rang. She peeked through the peephole. Ryan holding her paycheck! She’d told him to mail the check!

  She opened the door and stepped outside, shutting it behind her. Daisy was in the living room setting up the movie, and she didn’t want her to witness any embarrassing Ryan incident.

  He handed her the check. “Not going to let me in?”

  “I’m having a movie night with Daisy.”

  “You know I’ve met Daisy before. She was only a grade behind me.”

  “Thank you for the check.”

  He put a hand on the doorframe above her head and leaned close. “Gran says she’s having fun with you.” His silky voice sent shivers through her.

  “Yes,” she breathed. He was so close she could see the golden flecks in his hazel eyes framed by those long lashes.

  He grinned. “So you do know how to have fun.”

  She stiffened at his teasing tone, whirled around, and grabbed the doorknob. He placed a hand over hers on the knob. She looked at his large hand covering her smaller one, and her heart seemed to stop and lurch painfully forward. “I’m not a puzzle,” she told him quietly. “I’m not fire and ice. You just don’t know me.”

  “I think I do.”

  She could feel the heat of his body on her back. If she turned around, she’d be in his arms.

  “If you hand-deliver my next paycheck”—she scrambled to think of a suitable threat—“I’ll-I’ll—”

  “You’ll what?” His breath was hot on her ear.

  “I’ll dump ice on you!” She slipped inside and shut the door. Again she heard his low laugh as he walked away. She wanted to rip open the door and yell at him some more, but stopped herself because she didn’t want Daisy to see the insanity he provoked in her.

  “Who was that?” Daisy asked.

  “Ryan just dropped off my paycheck,” Liz said, heading straight to the kitchen for the movie snacks. She needed to give her cheeks a chance to lose their permanent blush from whenever Ryan was around. She did some deep breathing until she felt calm again. At least one thing was going well—she and Daisy had gotten used to living together over these last two weeks. As soon as the movie was over, she’d enter her paycheck into QuickBooks and they could see how much of a dent they’d made into Daisy’s debt so far.

  “I made some guacamole to go with the chips and salsa,” she called to Daisy. “Do you want anything else?” Daisy’s appetite was never-ending now that she was eating for two.

  “That’s plenty, thanks,” Daisy said.

  Daisy had picked a comedy, Bridesmaids. Her pregnancy had made her too sensitive to the high-octane scenes of her usual thrillers and horror flicks. It was a relief for Liz. Daisy’s type of movie would’ve kept her up all night. She loved romantic comedies and relationshipy dramas.

  Liz carried in the healthy snacks—she’d even bought the baked tortilla chips—then went back for their water and napkins. Finally, she settled on the sofa next to her sister and smiled. “Ready.”

  Daisy hit play on the remote. Liz munched on chips and guacamole while the opening credits scrolled down the screen.

  “Mmm, you should try some of this guacamole,” Liz said. “Avocados have folic acid, which is good for the baby’s nervous system and brain, plus vitamin B6, which is also good for their brain and tissue growth.” She’d read about it in the What to Expect When You’re Expecting book that had become her baby bible. Daisy had yet to crack open any of the pregnancy, birth, or child development books Liz had picked up at Book It for her.

  Daisy nodded absently and watched the screen, looking serious as Kristen Wiig did her best to escape what looked like a regular booty call with some dignity. Liz laughed as she got caught on top of the locked gate that now swung open.

  She glanced over at Daisy, who still hadn’t cracked a smile or touched any food. “Is something wrong?”

  Daisy hit pause and stared straight ahead. “I’m going to New Mexico on Sunday.”

  Liz dropped the chip in her hand as a terrible, sinking feeling washed over her. Daisy was a runner. She always had been, at the first sign of trouble. Like when she’d dropped out of college after one bad grade in precalculus and disappeared to a kibbutz in Israel for two years. And they weren’t even Jewish. Or the time she’d told off her boss at the pet grooming salon, lost her job, took off for who knew where, and showed up six months later, broke and begging her parents for her old waitress job back. But Daisy was going to be a mother. She’d said she was turning over a new leaf. Surely, she’d put the baby first.

  “For how long?” Liz asked, fighting the panic. She didn’t want to lose this baby and her chance to be an aunt/second mother. She considered herself just as important a caregiver as Daisy would be. She’d pick up the slack for her flighty sister, so together the baby would have complete devoted care.

  Daisy shrugged. “We’ll see. My friend Meena loves it out there. She sent me pictures. So much rugged beauty and she says the people are really laid-back and relaxed. Not like here.”

  “But we have our birth class on Monday!” Liz cried. “And all those prenatal visits. I wanted to go with you, too.”

  “I know, but they have doctors in New Mexico,” Daisy said, rubbing a hand protectively over her baby bump. “Besides, it’s a little tight here. I’ve taken over your bedroom. You shouldn’t have to sleep on the sofa.”

  “But I don’t mind!” Liz felt tears threaten, and she forced them back. “I just want what’s best for you and the baby. You could stay with Mom and Dad if you want more room.”

  “I think it’s best if I stand on my own two feet. You know what I mean? I can’t always come crawling home for help. Besides, Meena’s going to get me a job at Tranquility. It’s this fancy resort and spa where she works. Kind of New Agey.” Daisy twirled her long, blond hair around a finger. “She’s a masseuse, you know. They always need people at the front desk, so I’m going to try it.”

  New Age resort. These were Daisy’s kind of people.

  “But what about the money?” Liz asked. “Where will you and the baby live?”

  “I’ll pay off the debt eventually. Meena’s roommate moved out last month, so she has an extra bedroom. She said I can stay with her, and she’s being really cool about letting me pay whatever rent I can afford. And, after the baby comes, I might take some classes at the massage school where Meena went. I could become a masseuse!” She smiled, delighted with the idea. “It could be my first real career.”

  Liz’s stomach clenched. Daisy was leaving with her nephew, and she’d never see them. She was making a whole new life thousands of miles away from home and family and everything that mattered.

  “Please don’t be mad,” Daisy said, her eyes beseeching. Unlike her own, Daisy’s eyes were dry, at peace with her latest decision. “I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time. This just feels right. And we’ll be in touch. Long distance isn’t as hard as it used to be. We can call, email, text, whatever.”

  Liz fought back tears and tried to think of something supportive to say. “I’ll miss you,” she choked out.

  “Awww!” Daisy’s eyes misted up too. “Now you’re going to make me cry. Promise me you’ll visit. You’d love it. And it’s warm. You can come out to escape the long, dreary winter here. Maybe come out for baby’s first Christmas?”

  “I will absolutely be there for his first Christmas. And
I want to hear the minute you go into labor.” Liz took a deep, calming breath. “Daisy?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You never told me who the father is,” she said softly.

  Daisy stiffened. “Why, so you can go after him for child support? You know, I didn’t want to say anything, Liz, because I know you mean well, but this is part of the problem! You’re trying to take over my life!”

  It felt like a slap. Liz had bent over backwards to help, and Daisy thought she was part of the problem? She blinked rapidly and hugged herself.

  “I’m sorry, Liz,” Daisy said, putting an arm around her. “It’s just I need to do things my way. It’s my life.”

  It’s also the baby’s life. Liz simply nodded. “Did you tell Mom and Dad?”

  “Not yet.” Daisy grabbed a handful of baked chips and pushed off the sofa. “That’s my next stop. Wish me luck.”

  Liz sank into the cushions, suddenly exhausted. “Good luck.”

  The door shut behind Daisy, and Liz sat there for a moment, her mind numb with pain. Then she stood, headed for the kitchen, and started cleaning. She emptied all the cabinets and washed the liners. She reorganized her small pantry alphabetically by type of food. It was the only way she could think of to avoid falling apart. She stopped her frenzy of cleaning briefly to leave a message with Rachel that she needed to talk. She knew it’d have to wait for morning because Rachel was at her usual Friday night family Shabbat dinner. She turned to the refrigerator and started emptying.

  Just as she finished cleaning the refrigerator, Daisy burst through the front door with a tear-streaked face and went straight to the bedroom. Liz followed her, opening the door without knocking—way beyond politeness at this point. “What’s wrong?”

  “Mom and Dad said I have to stop running from my problems,” Daisy said, her mouth twisting in her misery. Finally someone calls her on it. “But I’m not! For once I’m just doing what’s best for me and the baby. You understand, right, Liz? I have to do this.”

  And though she knew her parents were right, though she didn’t understand, Liz held her tongue. Because of the baby. Nothing was going to keep her from a close relationship with the baby, not even her sister.

  “You always have to do what’s right for you and the baby,” Liz said. “That I understand.”

  Daisy took that to be a measure of support. “Thanks, Liz,” she said, grabbing a tissue off the nightstand.

  “I’m always here for you,” Liz said. “Get your rest. It’s very important for the baby.” Then she quietly shut the door, returned to the kitchen, and scrubbed the floor until it was spotless.

  ~ ~ ~

  Liz stood on Rachel’s doorstep the next morning. Rachel took one look at her and immediately asked, “What’d Daisy do this time?”

  “I just said I needed to talk,” Liz protested. “I didn’t say it was Daisy.” She followed Rachel into her apartment above Book It and joined her on the dark green chenille sofa.

  Rachel’s eyes widened. “Did something happen with Ryan?”

  “No!” Her shoulders slumped. “You’re right,” she admitted. “It’s Daisy.”

  “I knew it. What happened?”

  “She’s moving to New Mexico, like tomorrow. Just up and moving in with a friend out there. Says she’s going to work at a New Age spa.”

  Rachel tilted her head, considering. “I gotta say it suits her.”

  “Exactly! And now I’ll only see the baby once or twice a year. I’m going to miss everything. We were supposed to raise him together. I had everything planned out.”

  Rachel was quiet a moment. “Maybe this won’t be all bad,” she said gently.

  She stared at Rachel. “How? How is this not bad?”

  “You’ll be single again. No strings. No responsibilities.”

  “The important thing here is the baby. I want strings!”

  Rachel pushed a silver bowl of dark chocolate Hershey Kisses a little closer to Liz.

  Liz plunged her hand in the bowl, grabbing a handful. She unwrapped one and popped it in her mouth. “Maybe I should move with them.”

  Rachel eyed her sympathetically. “Did Daisy ask you to do that?”

  “No, but…” She trailed off, clutching the Kisses in her hand. Realization hit painfully clear. Daisy wasn’t just looking for a fresh start. She was trying to get away from her. Daisy’s words ran through her mind: You’re trying to take over my life! Liz thought she’d done everything right, and yet, a baby was still so far out of reach. “She said she wanted to stand on her own two feet.”

  Rachel put a hand on Liz’s arm. “So let her.”

  “But what if she fails? There’s a child at stake here.”

  “I’m sure if there’s a problem, you’ll be the first to hear about it.” She tapped Liz’s hand. “Loosen your grip, you’re gonna have a puddle of melted chocolate in your hand in a minute.”

  Liz opened her hand, where five crinkled Kisses sat. “Do you have the bag for these? I need to see the nutrition label.”

  “No, and I’m not digging through the trash. Nutrition is zero, comfort is one hundred percent.”

  Liz dropped the Kisses on the table and hugged her friend. “So are you.”

  “Look, we’re both single now,” Rachel said. “I’m ready, and it’s past time for you. Let’s take the next step. We’ll dive into the deep end together. Okay, chicken?”

  It was an old refrain between the two of them. Rachel called her chicken when she thought Liz was holding back, not being brave enough to go for it. Which, of course, wasn’t true. She wanted to be a teacher, and she was. She called Rachel egg for being such an egghead, so wrapped up in her own brainiac thoughts that she missed the details of real life. Like the fact that she could wear mismatched socks, even mismatched shoes, and never notice.

  Still, the deep end?

  “You mean Internet dating?” Liz asked with horror.

  Rachel laughed. “You should see the look on your face. No, I mean it’s time to get laid.”

  “Rachel! I can’t just hook up with some random guy.”

  “How about a guy who takes his time, knows his way around a woman’s hot zones, and presses all your buttons. Orgasm city.”

  Liz’s face heated up. “Where do you find a guy like that?”

  “We’ll put it out to the Universe.” She pulled Liz to the front window in her tiny dining area and opened it. “Universe, we’d like to get laid with Mr. Slow and Thorough!” she hollered out the window to Main Street.

  An elderly man walking his dachshund looked up, startled.

  “Oops! Not you!” Rachel said, slamming the window.

  “He’d probably be slow,” Liz quipped.

  They collapsed in giggles.

  “See,” Rachel managed to say in between fits of laughter, “it’s not that hard to snag a man.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Liz tied on a red Garner’s Sports Bar & Grill apron later that night, joining her parents at their concession stand at Clover Park’s annual Fourth of July fireworks at the high school’s football stadium. Her father was grilling burgers, hot dogs, and veggie burgers while her mother helped with drinks and sides. Liz took the orders and helped out wherever else they needed her. Keeping busy helped keep her mind off her sister leaving. Daisy was sitting in the bleachers with some old friends from high school, enjoying her last night in town.

  Rachel and her older sister Sarah were next in line, along with Sarah’s three kids: David, Leah, and Olivia. The kids were two, four, and six years old, with David being the oldest.

  “Hello, everyone,” Liz said with a smile.

  Rachel and Sarah smiled back.

  “Hello,” David piped up. “We’d like three juice boxes, please.” He was a pint-size adult and liked to feel he was in charge.

  Liz fetched some juice boxes. “Here you go.” He promptly gave two to his sisters, who were holding hands.

  “They’re growing like weeds,” Liz told Sarah.

  “Tell
me about it.” Sarah laughed. “And we’ve got another one on the way.”

  Liz’s eyes were immediately drawn to Sarah’s stomach, but no sign of it yet.

  “It’s early days,” Sarah said.

  “Congratulations,” Liz said, a pang of loss going through her again, knowing Daisy was taking the baby away from her tomorrow.

  She took their orders, and they stepped to the side to the pick-up area.

  “Come find us,” Rachel called. “We’re right at the fifty-yard line.”

  “I will.” Liz watched as Sarah bought three glow necklaces and put one over little two-year-old Olivia’s head. The girl beamed with pride, and Liz smiled wistfully.

  “Four hot dogs with the works,” a familiar voice said.

  Liz snapped her attention back to the line and jolted with surprise. “Maggie, you came!” She reached across the counter to hug her. Ryan and Shane stood by her side. Unlike his brothers, Shane had red hair and blue eyes, a callback from some Irish ancestor. He was tall and solid, like Ryan, but with a softness about him—soft eyes, gentle expression, soft belly.

  “Hi, Shane,” Liz said warmly. “Ryan,” she said in as normal a voice as she could manage given his eyes bored into hers and his gray T-shirt stretched across his chest and biceps, blatantly advertising that he worked out. Her throat went dry.

  “Hey, Liz,” Shane said. “Happy Fourth.”

  “Liz,” Ryan said in a deep, husky voice that sent shivers through her.

  “I haven’t been here in years,” Maggie said, smiling and waving to Liz’s parents working in the back. “How’re ya, Clive? Heather? Business good?”

  “We’re good, Mrs. O’Hare,” Heather said with a smile. “What handsome grandsons you have.”

  “Don’t I know it!” Maggie said.

  “Business is good,” Clive called, pointing with his spatula. “Check out the line.”

  Maggie looked behind her. “Geez, they must have seen me and all gotten in line. I’m very influential that way.”

  Clive chuckled and turned back to the grill.

  “So what changed your mind about coming here this year?” Liz asked.

  “I said the hell with being tired,” Maggie proclaimed. “I’m staying up for fireworks. And the boys agreed to take me.”