Don’t Close Your Eyes

by Ali Parker

“Yep. I love you,” I whispered, unable to hold the words back any longer.

  I wasn’t sure that now was the right time to say them. Maybe I should wait until I wasn’t basking in the afterglow of sex. But just because I felt so good right now, so contented and so languid, it didn’t mean that they would be a lie as soon as the feelings wore off. I would still love him tomorrow, next week, maybe for the rest of my life.

  It was something I’d spent the night at the hospital thinking about. Why was it that I couldn’t seem to keep away from Luke? It was initially just physical attraction. But at some point, some point early on even, it had become something much more than that. It had never been just about fucking. Not for either of us. Despite what we had tried to tell ourselves.

  No, I loved him. I couldn’t stay away from him because he was the first person I had ever had this depth of feeling for.

  And I knew that loving him came with its own set of complications. He was busy here with the farm. And I was going to be busy for a little while sorting things out with our own farm. Dad wouldn’t be able to take care of things on his own for a while, if he ever got back to it. I was going to have to look after things in the meantime, and probably hire a little bit of extra help. I’d need to figure out how to pay for that extra help, as well as figuring out how we were going to pay for the expensive surgery that Dad just had.

  I rubbed at my temples, feeling a headache coming on.

  “Hey,” Luke said, giving me a little shake. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop.”

  I grinned at him. “Like it’s that simple,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “It is,” Luke said, stubbornly. “I love you too by the way.” He paused, bringing my hand toward his mouth and kissing my wrist lightly, just at the pulse point. “Everything is going to be okay.”

  “I hope so,” I sighed. I nuzzled against his chest. “It’s just, everything with my dad.”

  “Everything is going to be okay,” Luke repeated. “You said the surgery went really well, right? I don’t think you’d be here if you thought there were going to be any issues.”

  “No, I stayed until I was sure he was going to be okay,” I said. “Until Dr. Lawrence kicked me out of there, actually. But there are more complications than his health. I’m going to be busy around the farm, trying to keep things afloat until he’s ready to take over again.”

  “I wish I could help,” Luke said. “Maybe some of my guys could.”

  I shook my head. “I know you guys are already stretched pretty thin over here,” I said. “I could never ask you to do that. Although I do appreciate the thought,” I sighed. “I just have to get it all figured out. It’s going to be busy. And if I’m busy and you’re busy, I’m afraid we’re not going to have much time for one another.”

  “We will,” Luke said firmly. “We’ll make time.”

  “How do you know that?” I asked.

  “Because I love you,” Luke said simply. “If I have to scale back on my responsibilities here to make sure that I get time to see you, then that’s what I’m going to do.” He shrugged, “Most of our planting stuff is done by now anyway. We’ve at least got all the plans for it. Once everything is in the ground, my time will open up. There’ll still be all the animals to deal with, and I’m sure you’ve got the same sorts of things going on over at your farm, but we’ll figure it out. I promise you.”

  I smiled up at him. “Good,” I said. Then, I shook my head. “But that’s not the only worry. What if Dad never really comes around to this?”

  “Do you really think he’s going to tell you to stay away from me?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. “He’s the one who told you to come over here, right?”

  “Yeah, he told me to make things right with you,” Brea said. “But what if when he sees us together, he thinks that, I don’t know, that I should be with someone else?”

  “Then I’ll just have to prove to him that I’m right for you,” Luke said, winking at me. He kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I promise.”

  I let out a noisy breath. “Okay,” I said. I smiled up at him. “You’re a good guy,” I told him.

  “I try my best,” Luke said, and I had to laugh.

  “You do a pretty good job of it.”

  Luke kissed me again, this kiss sweet and soft. “You should get some sleep,” he said, when he pulled away. “You look pretty worn out.”

  “Stay with me?” I asked, my arms automatically tightening around him.

  “Of course,” Luke murmured, curling his body around mine. “I love you,” he said one more time, just as I drifted off to sleep.

  31

  Luke

  One month later

  I looked at myself in the mirror, still trying to decide if the tie was too much. I wanted to look good. I wanted to look like the kind of guy that a man would be happy his daughter was dating. I wanted to look like I was trying.

  Even though I knew that Brea’s father had nothing against the way that I dressed or what I did with my life. It had never been about that.

  Brea’s dad had been out of the hospital for a couple weeks now, but we’d wanted to give him plenty of recovery time before Brea brought me over to his place for that dinner we’d scheduled weeks before. I was still worried that seeing me would give him another episode, but Brea assured me, with a smile on her face, that he was doing fine now. That things were better than ever and that he was even getting back to riding.

  There was nothing to be worried about.

  Except that maybe he would throw me out of his house. I didn’t really think that would happen, though. He knew that Brea and I were still dating. In fact, Brea had been staying with me here at my place most nights lately. It meant that she was close enough to her dad’s place in case there were problems, but it also meant that she didn’t have to move right back in with him.

  “I’m just afraid that if I move back in with him, he’ll get used to having me there and I’ll never be able to have a place of my own,” Brea sighed. “And I know that’s a silly thing to say, but I’ve gotten used to my freedom now.”

  I laughed at that. “Yeah, I kind of have the same issue, to be honest,” I told her. “It’s going to be weird when Ted and my parents get back. I’ve been pretty used to having my own place lately.”

  “What’s going on with that anyway?” Brea asked. “Are they headed back soon?”

  “Not just yet,” I said, shaking my head. “Damn honeymoon.”

  “You must miss them,” Brea said. “Especially their work around the farm.”

  “I do,” I said. “But I don’t know, I feel like I really have a handle on things now. I feel like I know what I’m doing, so that makes things a lot better.”

  “Yeah, that’s great,” Brea said.

  I didn’t feel like I had a handle on this dinner, though. Meeting her father. I had met him before, at the hospital, however briefly, but Brea said he had cooled down a lot since then. That he was happy we were together, and that he wasn’t so worried about losing his daughter to a Dawson man.

  But I didn’t know how much of that was just Brea telling me what I wanted to hear. I didn’t think she would lie to me, but she might fudge the truth a bit if she thought it would make me feel a little better about this dinner.

  The tie was too much, I finally decided. It looked like I was trying to be something I wasn’t. At the end of the day, I was just another farmer in Oklahoma who had fallen in love with a girl who was way out of his league.

  I was really glad I had ditched the tie when I got over to the Knight’s place. “We’re barbecuing,” Brea told me, meeting me halfway to the front door. She put her arms around me and gave me a big kiss. “It’s good to see you.”

  I laughed. “You just saw me this morning,” I reminded her.

  “I know, and it feels like a lifetime ago,” Brea said, winking at me.

  I followed her inside and through the house. Her dad was already ou
t on the back porch with the grill going. “Sir,” I said, shaking his hand and holding out the book I had brought for him. I had almost made the mistake of getting him a bottle of whiskey or something like that, until Brea reminded me that he couldn’t drink with the medications that he was taking.

  At the last minute, I’d gone over to the local bookstore and tried to pick something out for him. I wasn’t much of a reader, but I’d managed to find a book that I had read years ago now, one that I thought the other man might like. Whether he was interested or not, I could tell that Brea’s father appreciated the gesture.

  “I’d like to introduce you to Gloria as well,” the man said, gesturing to another woman who was sitting out there on one of the Adirondack chairs.

  “Gloria, it’s nice to meet you,” I said, looking over at Brea in surprise. She hadn’t told me that there would be anyone else there, and I wondered who Gloria was.

  Brea grinned. “Gloria and Dad met while he was in the hospital, and they’ve apparently been mostly inseparable ever since.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “Didn’t I tell you everything was going to work out?” I asked Brea. She laughed as well.

  “I guess you were right about that,” she said, putting an arm around my waist and leaning into me.

  “Luke, I would like to apologize for how I acted when you were at the hospital,” Brea’s dad said, clearing his throat and looking sheepish. “I know you were there to make sure my daughter didn’t have to go through that on her own, and I was terribly rude to you.”

  I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I understand why you were so upset.”

  “Do you?” the other man asked skeptically.

  “Of course I do,” I said, squeezing Brea a little closer. “I just imagine what it would be like to lose Brea.” I smiled down at Brea and she smiled right back at me.

  “You’re not going to lose me,” she promised.

  “Good,” I growled.

  Reaching into my pocket, my fingers rested for a moment against the velvet box. It added to my nervousness that night. I had wondered if maybe I was getting ahead of myself. Maybe I should wait and let her father get used to me first. Let Brea get more used to this.

  But I didn’t want to wait. The idea of possibly losing Brea was one that I couldn’t stand. I knew just how deep my feelings for her ran. And maybe it was too soon to have feelings like that, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted her by my side for the rest of my life. I wanted her to know just how much she meant to me. And there was no better way that I could think to do it then to propose to her right here, tonight, in front of her father.

  I wasn’t suggesting that we needed to get married immediately. I wanted my family to be there when we eventually tied the knot. And she would want to wait until her father was ready to walk her down the aisle. Not only that, but I knew she was still figuring things out with the payments for her father’s surgery. She had managed to raise quite a lot of it. I think she was surprised at how supportive the whole town had been when we’d finally asked them for help. Everyone had chipped in a little something, whatever they could spare.

  Nina had suggested that plan one night when Brea and I had been over at her place for dinner. I smiled, still thinking back to the first night I’d been over there. It hadn’t been quite as nerve-wracking as coming over here for dinner, but it was pretty close. I’d wanted to make a good impression on her. I knew that she was important to Brea. Not that I thought Brea would stop dating me because of something Nina thought about me. But we’d definitely have a serious talk about whatever it was.

  Fortunately, Nina and I had gotten along pretty well from the start. I think even Brea was surprised at how well it had gone. We’d started out talking about how Nina had gotten into dog training, and from there, the conversation just flowed.

  Thinking about the wedding, I wanted that day to be perfect, when we finally got to it. But I couldn’t imagine a more perfect time to propose than tonight, when Brea was here with her family. I’d save that for later in the evening, though.

  Brea went over to help her dad with the grilling, and even though she had said that before, he wouldn’t let her help out at all with the cooking, he stepped aside easily now, looking grateful to get off his feet for a minute while Brea took charge.

  Brea had made sure he kept to the strict diet his doctor had given him. So no alcohol, no meat, and so on. She’d looked up plenty of recipes, trying to make things as easy as possible for her dad to follow. I’d helped her out with some of it, but I had to admit, it was pretty tough coming up with recipes that he could eat.

  Tonight, they were grilling up some sort of white fish and vegetables. It smelled delicious enough that I bet her dad didn’t even remember he was on a special diet. Brea had done an amazing job.

  “What are you thinking?” Brea asked, coming over to sit on the arm of my chair while her dad went back to work by the grill.

  “Just thinking about how wonderful you are,” I told her, and she blushed.

  “Thanks,” she said softly. “You’re not so bad, yourself.”

  “You know, I’ve never seen Brea in love before,” her dad said, glancing over his shoulder at the two of us. “It’s nice to see.”

  “Even if it is a little Romeo and Juliet?” Brea asked, grinning at him.

  Her dad laughed loudly. “It is a little Romeo and Juliet,” he agreed. “But hopefully you don’t think I’m so against it that the two of you feel the need to go out and die for one another.” He shook his head. “I hope you don’t think that I have anything against your family, Luke. Your father is a good man. I’ve just always been a little bitter about the way that things turned out. But as I said to Brea, if I hadn’t met her mother, I would never have had Brea. So I think things turned out the way they were meant to in the end.”

  “She is a good one,” I said, lightly stroking the back of Brea’s neck.

  She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she was amused. “Don’t you two start talking about me like I’m not here,” she warned.

  “I was just about to go get the baby pictures,” her dad teased her.

  “Don’t you dare,” she said, giggling. I watched her as she laughed. She looked so relaxed here. So carefree. I had seen her like that before, when she was with Duck, but she wasn’t usually like that around me, and it had been obvious how stressed she was over the past month since her dad had been in the hospital. It was nice seeing her unwind a little.

  At that point, I could no longer hold back. Spontaneously, I dropped down to one knee next to Brea, pulling the ring out of my pocket. “Brea, I know that we haven’t been dating that long, but I know that I don’t want to live without you ever again,” I told her. “I love you, simply enough, and I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to build a life with you. A life that includes plenty of time over here with your dad, of course.” I gave him a wry look, but he was smiling at the two of us.

  “Oh Luke,” Brea said, her voice hushed.

  “We don’t have to start planning the wedding right away,” I was quick to add. “But I want you to know that I’ll always be there for you. Through thick and thin. Whatever you need, I want you to know that you can count on me.”

  Brea’s eyes were shining, and she seemed lost for words. Finally, she nodded. “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, Luke. Of course.”

  I beamed at her as I took the ring out of the little box and slid it on her finger. I’d picked the thing out carefully, shopping in a store in a different town so that no rumors would get back to her. It was a princess cut diamond, with antique-style etching along the band. And it fit her perfectly.

  Smiling, I got to my feet, pulling her into my arms for a kiss.

  When we pulled apart, Brea was laughing. But then, she looked nervously over at her dad. “Did you know about this?” she asked suspiciously when she saw the way he was smiling at us.

  “I suspected he might do something like that,” her dad said, inclining
his head toward me. “And I would have expected him to ask my permission first.”

  Blushing, I said, “Sorry, sir.” I probably should have asked first, but we hadn’t even been on speaking terms. I hadn’t even officially met him yet, so how was I supposed to ask him about this? Maybe I shouldn’t have been so spontaneous. But I knew that I loved Brea, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life being there for her. Whatever she needed. Just like I’d promised.

  “I’m just glad that Brea has found someone hardworking and intelligent to be with,” her dad said. “You’d better take good care of her. But I hear you’ve been doing a marvelous job with that farm of yours. All on your own, too.”

  “Not all on my own, sir,” I protested. “I have some help there.”

  “Still, managing all of that, especially through planting season and foaling season, isn’t the easiest task,” he said gravely. “You should be very proud of yourself.”

  “Thank you,” I said quietly, feeling a little flush of pride go through me.

  “What are your parents up to these days, anyway? I heard they’re not in town at the moment.”

  “No, it’s just me at the Dawson farm for now,” I admitted. “My parents are off on a road trip around the country. It’s something my mom has always wanted to do, and with her cancer in remission for the time being, they figured now was the time for it. They’re in Washington State at the moment, I think. Or they were last time I heard from them.”

  “Hmm, sounds like a good trip,” Brea’s dad said, his eyes taking on a faraway look, and I wondered if it was the kind of trip that he had once planned on taking with my mother. But then, he smiled over at Gloria. “I never thought about traveling before. Maybe you and I should hit the road. Just on a short trip, though. I don’t need any more excitement in my life.”

  Gloria smiled at him. “That would be fun,” she said. “I have family in Texas we could stay with. They live in the most amazing canyon.”

  The two of them started chatting about the idea. I turned to Brea and kissed her again. “I’m so glad you said yes,” I murmured.