An Improper Christmas

by Amy Rose Bennett

  The meal at the inn was hearty and plentiful too; whilst it wasn’t anywhere near the sort of feast that would have been laid out at Horwood House, it was definitely suitable Christmas fare; a rich venison pie accompanied by buttered carrots and Brussel sprouts was followed by a delicious port wine trifle. And there was claret.

  Perhaps too much claret.

  At least, that’s what Lily thought as Lord Nash handed her back into the carriage an hour later. The warmth humming through her veins surely had everything to do with the two glasses of wine she’d had and nothing to do with being the sole focus of Lord Nash’s dazzling regard during luncheon.

  As she sank into the waiting warmth of blankets and furs, and rested her booted feet on a fresh lot of hot bricks, Lily decided things could be worse. If she’d stayed at Horwood House, she would not have been able to hold her tongue or put on a brave face as Aunt Harriet had demanded of her. As far as Lily was concerned, she never wanted to see Humphrey again.

  Even though anger had begun to replace the hurt in her heart, a tear slid down her cheek at the memory of Humphrey’s callous betrayal. She removed her hat and stabbed it with her hatpin as she laid it on the seat. Were all men really that fickle with their affections and incapable of fidelity as Aunt Harriet had suggested? It was a chilling thought indeed.

  “What is it, Miss Godwin?” Lord Nash asked quietly as the carriage moved off. “Even though it’s none of my business, I hate to see you so disconsolate.”

  Lily wiped away another tear with a gloved finger. She supposed she owed Lord Nash some kind of explanation as to why she’d decided to abscond from Horwood in the early hours of Christmas Day. And perhaps talking about her humiliation and heartbreak would help. But how to begin? She sighed and sat up a little straighter. “This was not how I imagined Christmas would be I suppose.”

  Lord Nash sat up straighter too. In the close confines of the carriage, his knee bumped hers as they hit a rut in the road. “You and Lord Hardwick have had a falling out, haven’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  A look of compassion crossed Lord Nash’s face. “Tell me what happened,” he said gently.

  Lily frowned and fiddled with the tassels of the wool blanket across her lap. How much should she venture? She barely knew this man. Yet he looked genuinely concerned.

  “It’s difficult to talk about,” she admitted, “but I’m no longer betrothed to Lord Hardwick. He ... ” She drew a deep breath to loosen the tightness in her chest. “Last night I caught him. With another ...” She met Lord Nash’s gaze. “With Lady Crawford.”

  Lord Nash shook his head and his mouth flattened into a hard line of disapproval. “What a complete ass.”

  Despite how awkward she felt making such personal disclosures, a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Yes. I think he is too.”

  Nash nodded. “For what it’s worth, I think it’s very brave and wise of you to have broken off your betrothal. I trust you are going to some place safe, where you will have support?”

  “Yes ... My godmother is the Marchioness of Solsbury. She will provide a safe harbor, so to speak.”

  Nash smiled. “Excellent.” He settled back in his seat again and Lily couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t buttoned his black wool greatcoat. It fell open revealing his charcoal-gray tailcoat and navy silk waistcoat—both garments fit him like a glove; not a seam was out of place. In stark contrast, his snow-white silk cravat was in elegant disarray just like his light brown hair.

  As though deliberately courting her gaze, he raked a bare hand through his tousled locks and stretched out a long leg, drawing attention to the length of tight muscle beneath his breeches. The man was lean and athletic. A veritable Corinthian.

  Unlike Humphrey.

  Humphrey was attractive in an austere, mysterious way but aside from a little fencing and horse-riding, he preferred indoor scholarly pursuits. Indeed, he was thin rather than well-muscled. Brooding rather than playful like Lord Nash. She had adored Humphrey’s dark thoughtful gaze and the gift of his smile. But not anymore.

  Not one little bit.

  Perhaps sensing her interest, Lord Nash’s gaze caught hers and she couldn’t look away. A speculative gleam lit his blue eyes and the smile curving his full lips was pure sin. Lily’s pulse quickened and she held her breath as desire bloomed low in her belly. Humphrey had never stirred these sorts of potent feelings inside her, not when he’d courted her, not when he’d proposed, not when he’d first kissed her.

  Not even two nights ago when he’d attempted to bed her.

  But she didn’t want to think about Humphrey right now. Not when Lord Nash’s eyes devoured her. He made her feel wanted. Desired and aroused.

  Definitely aroused.

  A rational part of her brain urged her to say something to weaken the magnetic allure of the man opposite her, but it was Lord Nash who spoke first, his voice a low, seductive purr, stroking over her like a lover’s touch. “I could help you forget all about Lord Hardwick,” he murmured.

  Oh, my word. “What ... what are you suggesting?” Lily whispered. Of course, she knew exactly what Lord Nash meant. She’d be a fool not to recognize the heat in his eyes, the invitation in his voice. Or the answering thrill pulsing through her body, making her nipples tingle and the secret parts between her thighs ache. There was no doubt in her mind whatsoever that he could make her forget all about Humphrey.

  She licked her lips, an action which only sharpened Lord Nash’s gaze.

  His deliciously wicked smile widened and he moved to one side of the bench. “Why don’t you come over here and find out, Miss Godwin,” he said, patting the space beside him. “Or may I call you Lily?”

  Oh, dear Lord. Lord Nash was a libertine with seduction on his mind. She should be outraged or at the very least affronted. She should refuse his improper, nay sinful invitation and issue a stern rebuke at his presumption.

  For most of her life, she’d always taken the path decorum dictated. But not today. Today she felt curious and reckless. Enlivened.

  It was Christmas Day, she’d already farewelled her virtue, so what did she really have to lose?

  Nothing at all.

  “You may call me Lily as long as I may use your first name,” she said at last in a breathy voice. “Joshua, isn’t it?”

  “Of course you may, sweet Lily.”

  Taking a deep breath, Lily pushed aside the blankets and furs and moved to sit beside Lord Nash. Joshua.

  His firm thigh pressed against hers as he turned to study her. This close to him, in the muted gray light of the cabin, Lily could see things she hadn’t noticed before: a rim of navy around his sky-blue eyes, a small patch of stubble along the line of his firm square jaw where the razor had missed; a tiny scar on his cheekbone below his left eye. And he smelled divine; the distinct spice of his cologne, the musk of his skin, beckoned Lily closer. What would he do if she nuzzled the strong column of his neck, loosened the folds of his cravat?

  Desire and anticipation swirled through her, making her giddy. Her breathing was fast and shallow. On an impulse, she reached out and touched his large hand where it lay upon his thigh, curling her gloved fingers around his.

  “You are so lovely,” he breathed. “An angel.” His other hand came up to caress her cheek, his touch warm and whisper-soft. In stark contrast, his gaze burned. “Ever since we met beneath the mistletoe, I’ve been distracted by thoughts of kissing you.”

  “You have?”

  “Oh, yes. And more besides.” His thumb brushed over her bottom lip and his eyes grew darker as they focused on her mouth. “Much more.”

  “I must confess, I have too ... Thought about kissing you.”

  His mouth quirked into a smile. “So you’re a wicked angel then.”

  Lily leaned closer. She couldn’t drag her gaze from his mouth. Her tongue swiped over her lower lip. Her heart raced at a dizzying pace. “It would seem so.”

  Joshua lifted her hand and gently removed her black
kid glove—his white even teeth tugged the fine leather away from each fingertip and after the glove slipped off, he grazed a feather-soft kiss across her knuckles. Even that soft, gentlemanly caress seared her. Sent a dark, hot thrill all the way through her body to her toes. And quite shockingly, to her quim.

  She bit her lip to suppress a moan. Joshua hadn’t even kissed her yet and she was on fire. Never, ever had she experienced sensations like this. How would it feel when he did press his mouth to hers?

  Lily’s other glove quickly followed and then Joshua did something she’d never expected a man to do. He kissed one of her fingertips then drew it into his mouth, lightly laving it with his tongue. Suckling her. A tiny sound somewhere between a gasp and a whimper escaped her. The feeling was decadent. Wicked. Yet, oh so good.

  Joshua’s eyes met hers as he transferred his attention to another finger. Transfixed, her cheeks flaming, Lily pressed her thighs together to try and relieve the heavy ache down there. She was wet. Slick with need. When Joshua released her, hand, he was grinning. “Did you like that?”

  “Mmm-hmm.” It seemed she couldn’t speak, only hum.

  “Good.” Joshua’s gaze drifted across her countenance before settling on her mouth again. His large hands framed her face and as he bent closer, his breath whispered across her lips. “I hope you’ll like this too.”

  Lily closed her eyes as Joshua’s mouth, soft and warm, skimmed over hers. A teasing brush. Then a satiny slide. And at last, a firm, hungry press that was both a demand and an invitation. An insistent, irresistible enticement.

  A promise of pleasure.

  With a moan, she parted her lips and melted against the leather seat, gripping Joshua’s broad shoulders for purchase. The hot velvet rasp of his tongue, sliding against her own, exploring her mouth was both a heady and novel experience; Humphrey had never kissed her like this. So wildly. So wickedly. So thoroughly.

  Her head spinning, her thoughts scattering like whirling snowflakes, Lily completely yielded to the moment, to Joshua’s every demand—every kiss, every caress of his fingers along her jaw, down her neck, over her breasts. Like a virtuoso, he played her and her body sang.

  On a deep groan, he pulled his mouth away, panting. One hand cupped her jaw. “Sweet Jesus, you’re divine.” His blue eyes were heavy-lidded, dazed with desire and Lily felt an odd flare of satisfaction at the realization she had aroused such passion in him. “I want to kiss more of you. Will you let me?”

  “More of me?” It seemed Lord Nash’s kisses had addled her brain too, turning her into an inarticulate henwit.

  “Yes.” He stroked his fingers along the folds of her cravat then down the buttons securing her white cambric shirt. Somehow the buttons of her riding jacket had already come undone. “Your neck. Your breasts ...”

  My breasts? Lily swallowed. Her brain might be shocked but her body certainly wasn’t. As she tried to process Lord Nash’s singular request, her nipples hardened and chafed against her linen chemise and stays. Indeed, they ached as though they already craved his touch.

  “I’ve shocked you,” he said, drawing away a little. “But do not worry. If you are not comfortable—”

  Lily reached for one of his hands and placed it against her breast. His palm was large and warm and her nipple tightened. “No, it’s not that. Only ... I’ve never ... Humphrey never ... Well, he kissed me, but—”

  “You don’t have to say any more. We can stop at kisses.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I’m not being very clear.” She drew a shaky breath and tried again. “What I mean to say is, I do want you to kiss me ... and not just on the mouth.”

  “Ah.” Joshua searched her gaze for a long moment then he smiled. He moved his hand and his thumb drifted over her nipple, brushing back and forth, back and forth. “If you are certain ...”

  “I am.”

  “Well then,” Joshua gently tugged at her cravat until it came undone, “I’m quite happy to oblige.” He slid open one button, then another, parting her cambric shirt, exposing her throat, then her stays and chemise. Could he see how her pulse fluttered in her neck? “I shall do my best to make the experience pleasurable.”

  Leaning forward, he placed his lips against her neck and nuzzled gently. Caught her earlobe between his teeth then soothed it with his lips. When he rained a trail of feverish kisses along her jaw then down her neck, Lily shivered, her skin shimmering with arousal. She’d never dreamed such mundane parts of her person—her jaw, her neck, her ear—could feel such exquisite sensations.

  Lost in a delicious haze, she was barely aware Lord Nash had continued to work her clothes loose until cool air washed over her bare bosom. And then she blushed so hotly, she thought she might combust.

  Joshua, on the other hand, showed no signs of awkwardness. His eyes focused on her naked breasts with an attention that could only be described as avid. He trailed one long finger through the valley between them before circling one puckered nipple with a fingertip, making it tighten all the more.

  “Perfect,” he murmured. “And the precise color I imagined.”

  “You’ve been thinking about the color of my nipples?”

  “Mm-hmm. I thought they’d be the same hue as the blush on a ripe peach and I was right.” He teased the other pebbled peak, circling it with his thumb. “I’ve also been wondering if they’d taste just as sweet.” Before Lily could even think on that, his mouth closed over one of her nipples. Heat blasted through her, setting her alight and she shamelessly arched her back, pressing herself into the warm, moist cavern of his mouth as he caressed her with tongue and lips. Moaning, she speared her fingers into his thick hair. Good Lord. She’d had no idea there was such an art to lovemaking.

  By the time Joshua transferred his attention to her other breast, she was quivering with need, restless for something else. Humphrey had roughly fumbled between her thighs before he’d taken her maidenhead but it hadn’t been pleasant. Despite the fact she’d wanted to please him, she’d felt ashamed and awkward and unready for what he’d done next.

  But now ... now Lily recognized her need to be touched and stroked down there. She ached for it.

  But how could she ask such a thing of Joshua? She was already behaving like a wanton; without conscious thought, she’d parted her legs and had pushed her hips against Joshua’s. He was practically lying atop her, the rigid length of his manhood pressed against her thigh. He was clearly aroused too, however, if she put into words what she craved most, what would he think of her?

  As if he could read her mind, Lily felt Joshua’s fingers slide beneath the wool skirts of her habit. His large hand was hot and heavy on her trembling thigh. And then he lifted his head from her bosom and met her eyes. “How far do you really wish this to go, sweetheart? We can stop whenever you like.”

  * * *

  Joshua studied the beautiful, almost fey creature, in his arms. Her burnished copper locks were a messy halo about her head, her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen and slick from his kisses. And her fine brown eyebrows had dipped into a frown when he’d paused to ask her what she wanted to do.

  Of course, his conscience urged him to bring a halt to this seduction at once. Only a cad would take advantage of Lily’s emotionally vulnerable state. But God help him, with her looking so deliciously disheveled, with her beautiful round breasts bared, his cockstand and balls were demanding more.

  The carriage’s interior might be cold, but he was on fire, burning for Lily. Who’d have thought a young woman—barely out of the schoolroom—could be so passionate? Bloody Hardwick was a fool to have looked elsewhere.

  When Lily didn’t answer him, Joshua removed his hand from beneath her skirts. “I need to know what you want, my sweet,” he prompted gently. She hadn’t pulled away from his intimate touch. If anything, she’d strained toward his questing hand but he needed to make sure.

  Lily inhaled a ragged breath and met his eyes. “I ... At the risk of sounding like a harlot, I do want to go further. Tru
ly I do.”

  Joshua caressed her cheek. “I don’t think you are a harlot. I think you’re beautiful, passionate, and endearingly uninhibited.”

  “Be that as it may, I feel like I need to offer an explanation for my less than ladylike behavior.” She pushed a tangled lock from her eyes and sat up straighter. “You see, Humphrey and I ... Two nights ago, he came to my room, in a fever of need. And because I wanted to please him, and he reasoned we were to be married soon, we tried ... He tried ...” Lily blushed as she said in a rush, “I am no longer a maid but what we did, it wasn’t like this. It was uncomfortable and awkward ... and it hurt.”

  Horror spiked through Joshua. “Dear God. Lord Hardwick didn’t force you, did he?”

  Lily shook her head. “Oh, no. I agreed to everything. It’s just that ... It was all so hurried—Humphrey didn’t kiss me very much or touch me in the intimate way you have—and because of the pain, I stopped him before he got very far. He ... he didn’t finish. And he was upset with me.” She dropped her gaze and fiddled with a button on her still open shirt. “I suppose that might be why he took up with Lady Crawford.”

  Christ, what an unthinking, demanding prick, Hardwick was. And a useless lover. Joshua felt his jaw clench. “You’re former fiancé is a self-centered prat who didn’t recognize the exquisite treasure he had.”

  “You really think that? That I’m exquisite?”

  Joshua lazily trailed his gaze from her pretty face to her equally pretty breasts. “Oh, yes, Miss Godwin. I do indeed.”

  Lily offered him a smile that was equal parts shy and coquettish. “When you look at me like that, when you touch and kiss me, I feel warm and alive. Abuzz. It’s like I’ve drunk the most wonderful champagne. When I was with Humphrey it wasn’t like this at all.” Her voice dropped and he had to lean closer to hear her next words. “You said before that you wanted to make this experience pleasurable. And you have.” She touched his face. “You are. I want to know what pleasure feels like. So if I ever have the chance to marry again, I’ll know how it should be.”