by Kristy Marie
As the movie gets going, I choke it up to Levi just being Levi and settle my mind.
After about a third of the way through the movie, there is movement to my left. I look over and there is a girl trying to get into our row. Kelly and Macy look her up and down. I see the girls roll their eyes and let her through. She gets to me and I haven’t moved my legs yet. For some reason, I just sit there. She gives me this look that says she is going to step on me if I don’t move my legs. Instead of getting into an altercation with her, I let her through. I’m not sure who she is going to see but, knowing them guys, there isn’t any telling. I look back at Kelly and Macy so I don’t look at this chick’s butt until she sits down. They are already back to watching the movie. They don’t care.
When I look to my right, though, my stomach hits the ground. Chick and Zant are in a full-on tonsil hockey match. My eyes fly away from them and land on Levi. He’s looking at me again with the same smirk on his face and after a second of just looking at me, he winks again. My eyes almost bulge out and he settles back in his seat. I look back to Zant and now his hands are all over her back and in her hair.
I can’t watch this. Or listen to it. I tell the girls that I need to go to the bathroom and they let me out. I practically run to the bathroom and throw myself into a stall. I don’t even breath before I start sobbing.
Why am I sobbing?
I know Zant kisses and messes around with girls. He’s been doing it for years. Every girl in our class has kissed him, I think. Except for me, Kelly, and Macy. Well I hope Kelly and Macy haven’t kissed him but, what do I know? He could have been making out with them when I wasn’t around. My sobbing only gets worse at the thoughts of my best friends making out with the only guy that I’ve ever wanted.
The mind plays serious tricks on you when your heart is breaking. Everyone becomes your enemy.
I hear the door open and quickly try to control my sobs. Please don’t be either one of my friends. I really don’t want to talk to them about this. I grab tissue and wipe my face. The person steps into another stall so I breathe a little better. It isn’t Macy or Kelly. The sudden intrusion helped break my crying though.
I can’t go back into the movie. But I’ve got to if I don’t want to have to explain why I couldn’t. I’m not ready to do that now. If ever.
I slowly walk back to the room that our movie is playing in and make my way to my seat.
Oddly enough the chick isn’t there. Zant is sitting alone, with the other two guys, eating his candy and watching the movie. He doesn’t look over at me and everything looks like nothing even happened.
I feel another set of eyes on me and when I shift my gaze, Levi is looking at me again. I quickly look away before he has the chance to wink at me again. What in the world is going on?
After the movie is over, we all get up and make our way outside. I’m in the back of the group while my friends are all chatting about how great the movie was. I feel someone next to me but I don’t look up. I quickly assume it’s another movie goer. Then I’m quickly proven wrong when an arm drapes itself over my shoulders. I look up and I’m face to face with Levi.
“You scared me!” I breath out.
“I’m sorry.” Levi says while still looking at me. His face is somber.
“It’s ok. I should be used to it. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve scared me before.” He usually lights up when he knows he has caught me off guard. He isn’t looking like that right now though.
“Not for that.” He says in a whisper.
I’m confused now. “For what then?”
“For hurting you. I should have known better but I thought you would have reacted different and I’m sorry that I made you cry instead.”
I freeze at his words. What is he talking about? I know what he is talking about but, how does he know what he’s talking about?
I open my mouth to speak and nothing comes out. How does he know? I finally, after looking like a fish out of water, get my voice to work. “Levi, what are you talking about and what have you done?”
Our friends have moved on. I doubt they even know that we have stopped in the lobby of the movie theater.
Levi takes a deep breath and I hold mine. “Micah, Zant and I made a bet. I dared him to kiss another girl in front of you to see if you would lose your mind on either one of them. Zant doesn’t think that you like him, much less love him. We both know he is wrong.” Levi says all of this while looking at the floor. I’m looking at the top of his head trying to absorb his words into my screaming brain. I was set up. I was a bet between two of my best friends. What exactly did they expect me to do.
“What exactly did you expect me to do?” I ask him. I know that I didn’t dispute anything he said. He catches that too and his eyes get a little brighter.
“I don’t really know exactly.” He hesitates before continuing. “I guess I wanted you to come out a little and prove me right, in front of everybody.” He looks down “But I saw you come back with puffy eyes and I knew that I had pushed too hard and mishandled things. I’m sorry Mi. Really sorry.”
I decide to put him out of his misery. “Levi. It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. I know you were messing with me and I don’t expect anything else from you. I know now why you were winking at me. Let me tell you – that freaked me out a little.” I giggle and he lets out a little chuckle. I look around to make sure that we are still alone. I’m going to come clean to Levi but, I don’t want anyone else to know. “I’m not going to push things with Zant. He told me this week that he wants me to go to college and everything like that after graduation. I can’t date him and do that. I don’t know if I want to date him anyway. I don’t ever want to mess up our friendship. If us taking a step forward causes me to lose one of my best friends…” I don’t finish and Levi just pulls me into a great hug of his.
“It’s ok.” He tells me as he smooths my hair out. “I understand and I won’t push him or you anymore. I respect you both and you’re right. Right now, our friendships are everything and enough.”
Levi stops rubbing my hair and has frozen. I look at him but he is staring over my shoulder. I turn my head to see what or who he is looking at and I see a look that quickly sends my nerves to fire mode.
It’s Zant and the look on his face says that he feels cheated.
But why?
Chapter 4
Zant
She talks to angels.
They call her out by her name.
{‘She Talks to Angels’ – Black Crowes}
“Mother fu…” I stop myself as I stomp around and pull at my hair. It’s longer on top than it is on the sides and it’s the perfect length to grab right now. I pull until it feels like I’m going to pull every piece out by the root.
Levi - the back stabbing best friend.
That’s his new name and I don’t want to see his face or hear his voice. I would probably punch him in the jaw if he came close to me right now.
The nerve of that shithead!
I quickly go back to the conversation we had before we picked everyone up to come to the movies. I was over at his house so I rode with him to everyone’s house.
“Man, what are you doing about Micah?”
Ugh. Here we go again.
“I don’t know what you mean dude. We are just friends. Nothing more. I don’t want to be anything more. She is my best friend and I’m not going to risk that.”
“You know she’s going to find someone else. Some jerk off is going to swoop in and carry her off away from us. You’re just going to let that happen.” He looks at me with a serious look on his face. “How can you let that happen to us bro?”
I chuckle at his seriousness. He really thinks that another guy is going to come in and just take Micah away from us and she isn’t going to want to be our friend anymore. He doesn’t really know Micah then.
“Micah isn’t going anywhere Levi. No guy is going to swoop in and take her away like she’s property. Stop freaking ou
t. Be a sophomore. Stop being so serious.”
He just keeps driving and shakes his head. Neither he nor I are getting through to the other obviously.
He perks up after just a couple minutes. “I got an idea.”
Famous last words with Levi.
“What man?”
“Just hear me out. We both want to know how Micah really feels for you so let’s put her to the test. Let’s make a bet.” I don’t like where this is going but, I’m also curious as to how Micah feels so I keep my mouth shut.
“We will find a girl to sit next to you while the movie is playing. You can kiss her a little and see what Micah does. The bet is … what will she do?”
“I bet she does nothing.” I reply quickly. Too quickly because Levi chuckles.
“Ok. I bet she marches to you and ask you what the hell you are doing.” Levi doesn’t know Micah at all.
“What’s the reward?” If I’m doing this bet with him. I want to know that I’m getting something out of it.
“Twenty bucks.” Levi says. Levi always bets twenty bucks and I need twenty bucks. Win. Win.
“Ok. Who picks the girl and what kind of kissing?” I want to know the rules. Levi is a tricky sucker.
“I pick the girl and you kiss her however you want. It just has to be convincing.”
It appears I made a deal with the devil. He just wanted Micah for himself.
When I walked back into the movie theater and saw him wrapped around her, I thought I was seeing things. The love of my life in the arms of my best friend. I froze. When Levi saw me, I saw the guilt in his face. I felt bad for kissing that girl and when Micah walked out of the theater, I quickly pushed the girl back and told her to move. I wasn’t interested. I thought I had won the bet.
I was just screwed over.
I hear soft footsteps behind me and my body tingles. I know it’s Micah. Any time she gets close to me, I feel it. It’s a current that has developed over the years. My body is connected to hers in an electric way.
She stops and I hear her breathing. I’m not.
“Z-Zant?” Micah whispers.
I still my emotions and turn my face into a mask before I turn.
“Yeah? What’s up Mi?” I play it as casual as I can. I can’t let her see me. I can’t let her in. How do I know that she wasn’t into Levi as much as he seems to be into her?
All these years, has she been secretly in love with Levi like I’ve been secretly in love with her?
“I don’t know,” she says. “You looked mad back there for some reason.”
“No, I’m cool.” I tell her as I bite my tongue.
“Ok.” She says. She looks shaken. Like she doesn’t know what to say to me. That’s a first for us.
Chance walks up to us then, oblivious to the tension as he asks us if we are ready to go. We both nod to him and start walking to the car.
When we climb in, everyone is quiet except Kelly and Macy in the back. They are discussing a boy they saw in the theater. I zone out to their chatter. I just want to get home and in my bed. I’m tired of hanging with these people today. I think this may be the worst day of my life.
Saturday morning, I wake up to the sun shining in my face. I cover my eyes with my pillow to block the light. Memories from the night before flood me and I groan. How am I going to face everyone? I’m still pissed and hurting. Ugh. How did this get so dang complicated?
I roll out of bed to get ready for the day. It’s the weekend and I don’t want to be here when dad decides he wants to be inside.
I jump in the shower and quickly wash off before throwing on some jeans and a t-shirt.
As I’m getting ready to walk out my bedroom door I hear him in the kitchen. My blood runs cold. I didn’t beat him out. I quickly scan my room and look out the window. Can I get out of it before he comes this way? I know he is already drunk. He starts drinking on Saturday mornings by six am. I still myself and take a deep breath. I can do this. I can make it out the front door without an altercation or any words. I just need to wait to make sure he’s in his room or passed out somewhere.
A little bit passes and I don’t hear anything. I slowly open my door and look out. I don’t see anything when I look towards the kitchen. I slowly turn my head to look towards his bedroom. Once I get turned straight I feel the punch to my jaw. Damn it. He was standing there waiting. I quickly jump back and slam my bedroom door and lock it. He’s pounding on the door.
“Open up you little shit! This is my house! You won’t lock the doors in my house!” He’s yelling at me and I’m scurrying to the window and trying to get it open. My jaw is throbbing. I know it’s going to be bruised. Again. “You have until I count to three to open this door before I bust it in!”
I finally get the window up and start to climb out. He’s on two when my feet hit the ground. I turn around to close the window and I see the door come into my room. He’s busted it down. I stand there and look at him. As he gets closer to the window, I get farther away from it.
“I’ll see you when you get home tonight. Son.” My spine tingles as I look into his cold black eyes. He is nothing but pure evil now. I turn and run to Micah’s house. That is where I always go.
Davis opens the door right when I step on the porch. “Come in, son.” I walk into his living room as he shuts the door before following me into the room.
“What happen this time, Zant?” Mr. Davis ask me as I sit on the couch. He’s walking towards the kitchen when I speak.
“I don’t know, sir.” I don’t think he heard me as he brings me an ice pack back for my jaw but, I don’t feel much like repeating myself.
Mr. Davis just looks at me for a few minutes before he speaks, “Z, I hate this. I know that he is going to wait up for you tonight and I don’t want you going home.” He scratches at his bald head. “What did y’all have planned for today?”
“Uh. I don’t really know. We didn’t talk much about it last night. If I had to guess, I would say the park.” I speak slowly as to not hurt my face anymore while Mr. Davis nods his head.
I lean back on the couch and close my eyes. The pain is getting to me. This throbbing never gets easier to take. It’s been happening more and more in the last couple of years. He sneak attacks me when I’m least expecting it now. I never have time to defend myself. As bad as it hurts, the anger I feel because of his physical abuse towards me only grows for the man that is supposed to be my father. He’s no father.
I hear a gasp and slowly open my eyes. Micah is standing there with a hand over her mouth and her eyes wide. “Zant,” she says behind her hand, “what happened? Who did this? Never mind. I know who. Why?” The mixed emotions of fear and compassion in her eyes melts my anger towards her a little. I can’t stay mad at her. It’s futile to even act like it. No matter what, I will love her.
“Roy.” I croak out through my dry mouth.
She shakes her head and walks towards me. She grabs the ice pack to pull it off my jaw to get a better look. I just watch her. How did yesterday happen? She’s messing around with the dish towel that is wrapped around the ice pack that Mr. Davis gave me.
“I didn’t even know that girls name last night.” Wait. What? Did I just say that out loud? I quickly close my eyes for a second. When I open them again, she has frozen but she isn’t looking at me. “I’m sorry. That didn’t mean to come out like that.” I rush through to cover up my stupidity.
She ignores my latest statement, “I know. So why did you kiss her?”
“You know? You know what?” I’m confused. How does she know that I didn’t know that girls name? How does she know that she isn’t my new girlfriend or something?
“I’m not stupid Z. Well, maybe I am. But, when I came back and she wasn’t there, I knew something was up. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out something like that? I just want to know why you took Levi’s bet.”
The air leaves the room. She knows about the bet. I’m not breathing and my vision is going blurry. My stomach just dropped
to my feet.
“I can explain Micah.”
“Yeah. Explain. That is what I was asking you to do.” She is looking at me and the look on her face doesn’t say ‘mad’, it says ‘hurt.’
“Um.” I don’t know what to say. I’m a little embarrassed. She knows me. She’s my best friend. She’s mine. Period. And now she knows that I made a bet involving her. I feel like crap and it has nothing to do with my throbbing jaw.
“What did you expect me to do? Did you expect me to jump in between y’all and push y’all apart to confess some undying love to you or something? Did you expect me to be mad? Did you expect me to start sobbing in front of a room full of people because my best friend was playing tonsil hockey with some no name chick in the middle of a movie theater? Explain it to me Zant because I’m confused.” She has her hands on her hips and she looks anything but friendly right now. Now that she has started talking, her look is ‘mad’.
She doesn’t wait for me to respond, she drops the ice pack in my lap and the next thing I hear is the slamming of her bedroom door.
“What was all that yelling about in here?” Mrs. Lucy ask as she makes her way to me to look at my face. Mr. Davis must have gone and told her everything.
“Oh, you know. I ticked off Micah.” I tell her as I look at the ceiling of their home.
“She’s your love Zant. You will make it better.” She pats my shoulder and then walks out the door. How does she know that Micah is my love? I must not be hiding my feelings very well. I just shake my head and place the ice back on my jaw. I’ve got to get the swelling to go down some. I look over and Mrs. Lucy must have put some pain meds and water on the side table while I was talking. I pop the pills in my mouth and down the glass of water. That will help some. I hope.
Chapter 5