Deadly Valentine

by Jenna Harte

  To distract herself, she decided to visit her favorite boutique. Tess had learned to live on less in her modest new life, except when it came to couture undergarments. Her favorites were Carine Gilson, but she could make do with La Perla or Damaris as well. Tess was rarely able to afford her undergarment fetish anymore, but after all the drama and angst of the last 24 hours, just looking at the pretty lace clothing would make her feel better.

  She walked the block and a half to the historic section of downtown Jefferson Tavern to Cezarier's Boutique. She pushed open the door, hearing the familiar bell jingle as she walked in.

  "Ah Tess! Bonjour, bonjour. Vien."

  "Bonjour Cezarier. Comment allez-vous?" The other perk of visiting Cezarier is that Tess could practice the French she learned from the nanny she had until her mother fired her for playing bedroom games with her father.

  "Good, good. I'm so glad you came by. I just got the most beautiful La Perla set in the other day. It made me think of you. And just in time for Valentine's Day, yes?" Cesarier said in her heavy French accent.

  Was it Valentine's day already, Tess wondered. "You know I don't need a man to enjoy your lingerie."

  "Ah, but it's more fun, n'est pas?"

  Tess was about to say she couldn't remember, except the image of Jack's face as he'd sneaked a peek at her getting ready for bed flashed in her mind. Admittedly, she'd liked his reaction. Unfortunately, it appeared that she wouldn't have a Valentine for Valentine's day this year. It was the first year in many that the idea made her sad. But if there was one thing that could make her feel better, it was lingerie shopping.

  "Show me what you have," Tess said.

  Tess had only meant to look, but ultimately walked out with the La Perla set Cezarier showed her. She justified the $400 purchase by reasoning that it was less than half the price of the Carine Gilson set she'd really wanted. Once home, she made herself a frozen diet meal for dinner. After eating, she made a fire and sat in her chaise chair to go through files she'd neglected over the last few days. She'd barely gotten through the second file when there was a knock at the door. It wasn't too late for visitors, but most people called first. To be safe, she peered through the curtains to see who was at her door. The figure was dark, tall, and sad.

  “Jack,” she said opening the door.

  He looked up at her with tired eyes. “I owe you an apology.”

  “For what?” She opened the door wider to invite him in.

  “For last night. I was rude.”

  She waved it off. “It's understandable. You'd just had the rug pulled out from under you.” She closed the door and looked up at him. “I should probably apologize to you for how it all came out.”

  He didn't say anything. She hated how beaten down he looked, but was relieved he was here. That he'd come to her.

  “Would you like a drink?”

  “Sure.”

  “Wine is the strongest I've got.”

  “Wine is fine.”

  She left him in the living area as she went to the kitchen. When she returned he was standing by the fire, his eyes lost in the glowing embers.

  “Thanks,” he said taking the wine from her. He swallowed half the contents and waited as if he expected the wine to sooth some part of him. “When I saw you again at Asa's, I promised myself that this time I'd do everything right. And yet, I've been a complete jerk. Twice.”

  “No you haven't. You were hurt and angry. With good reason.”

  “Not at you.”

  “It doesn't always matter.”

  “I told you to get out.”

  “It wasn't my business. You and Cora needed to talk.”

  “I needed you to stay.” The look in his eyes touched her deep in her soul. He had needed her.“I was too proud to have you watch as my life unraveled. Would you have stayed?”

  She reached out, wanting to touch him, to reassure him. “Yes.”

  Some of the storm in his eyes cleared. He set his glass on the mantel and reached for her, gathering her close and holding on as if she was the only thing keeping him together. “I was afraid you wouldn't let me in the door.”

  “I didn't realize I was that unreasonable.”

  He brought his head up enough to look at her. “I would have deserved it.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “No you wouldn't have. Why don't we sit down and you can tell me what happened. If you want to.”

  Jack picked up the glass and swallowed the last of his wine.

  “Do you want more?”

  “No.” He replaced the glass on the mantel. He took her hand, and pulled her with him as he sat on the couch.

  “Did you and Cora work things out?”

  “It'll be a process.”

  “So...” Tess wasn't sure if she should ask. “Is Delia your mother?”

  He took a deep breath, let it out. “She gave birth to me.”

  “And the Senator?”

  “Cora is convinced of it – that he got Delia pregnant and killed her.”

  “But?”

  “Delia never actually told Cora who the father was.”

  “The story given at the time is that the father was in the military.”

  Jack's head tilted to look at her. “Where did you hear that?”

  “I was at the funeral today and ended up in the kitchen. Agnes and Walter worked with her. They remember her as a sweet but naïve girl. The Senator had made arrangements for her, but she'd quit, wanted to go it alone.”

  “Did they know this guy?”

  “No. In fact, I'm not sure they buy the story they were told.”

  “They think it was the Senator too?” he asked.

  “We didn't get that far. But he was doing a lot for her, considering her position and his.”

  “I heard he'd done things for his staff. He took Walter in as a teenager.”

  “You've done your own investigation.”

  "I want to know what I'm in the middle of."

  "There's one more thing. Asa had cancer. Terminal."

  Jack's eyes widened. "How long did he have?"

  "A few months."

  He let the information soak in. "So either the killer could have waited or Asa's impending death had him making plans the killer didn't want him to implement."

  Tess nodded. "I'm more inclined to believe the latter. It's a desperate person that murders someone in the middle of a dinner party."

  "This just gets crazier and crazier." He let his head fall back on the couch and closed his eyes.

  "Are you alright?"

  "I will be. I'm still having difficulty coping with the idea that I may have Worthington blood flowing in my veins.”

  “Biology doesn't make you who you are.”

  He lifted his head to look at her, this time his eyes showed annoyance. “You think I'm being unreasonable?”

  “Not at all. I think you have every right to be hurt and angry, out of sorts even. But who you are- that's not from your DNA it's from the people who loved you, raised you.”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  Tess gave a short laugh. “I have to, otherwise I'm doomed to end up like my parents and I've fought very hard to be nothing like them.”

  His face dropped. “Christ, I've done it again. I forgot you had the parents from hell. At least I had a great childhood.”

  Tess reached out with her other hand to pat their linked fingers. "It was no picnic, that's for sure. That's how I know breeding, blood, DNA, whatever you want to call it, doesn't determine who we are."

  “Do you know what's really bothering me?”

  “I can only choose one?” she asked.

  She was pleased when his lips twitched upward. “One of several. It's the adoption. It couldn't have been legal, could it? Don't parents have to sign papers agreeing to give their kid for adoption? Delia didn't have a chance, but what about the dad?”

  “I don't know what the adoption laws were back then, but adoption used to be very secretive. Delia was dead and no fat
her is listed on the birth certificate. So if Cora could show she had custody of you, then I imagine that the adoption was legal.”

  “Except that there is a father somewhere.”

  Tess studied Jack, trying to identify the source of his concern. Was he really worried about an uninformed birth father or that the adoption wasn't legal? If it wasn't legal, then technically the parents he'd grown up with were not parents, adoptive or otherwise. She shuttered at the idea of being a child without a family.

  “If Cora doesn't have the adoption papers, we can try to get them although it will be difficult. Adoption records are closed in Virginia. Without some very compelling reason, we may not be able to see them. But Jack,” she lifted their linked hands and pulled them to her heart. “They're just papers. The love you received from your parents is all the validation you need that you were theirs.”

  For the first time since he'd arrived, he looked like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. “I knew I needed you.” He leaned toward her, pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. She could feel the tension slowly dissipate as his lips slid silently, smoothly over hers.

  "I feel like this thing with Asa has hijacked my life," he said when he broke the kiss. "I need a break from it."

  “Do you want to be alone?”

  “No.” he tugged her hand up to his lips, kissed her knuckles. “You're the only light in my life right now.”

  Tess tried to hold back a snort, but wasn't successful. He gave her a questioning look. “Are you going to quote music lyrics to me?” she asked.

  He smiled, and for the first time in what seemed like a long time, it reached all the way to his eyes, to his dimple. “Will it help my chances?”

  “Chocolate is better.”

  “How about if I quote one of those sexy songs on your iPod?”

  Tess felt the blush heat her cheeks.

  “A little sexual healing?” he asked

  “I don't have that song,” she said. “I like Marvin's older stuff better.”

  “Oh right. Tell me, does 'She sure loves to ball' mean what I think it does?”

  “What do you think it means?”

  Jack leaned closer. “Can I show you?”

  God she wanted him to. And what sane woman would turn down Jack Valentine? But at the back of her mind, she still puzzled over why he all of a sudden was so interested in her when he hadn't been before. Even when she'd given him the opportunity.

  “Why me?” she asked.

  “Why you what?”

  “We don't go together. We don't fit.”

  “We don't know that. Yet,” he said with a waggle of his brow.

  “Not like that! Look at us Jack. You're about a foot taller than me and an Adonis and I'm just-"

  He pressed a finger to her lips. "You're smart and beautiful and sexy and I want you. I always have."

  Tess wasn't convinced.

  "Should I remind you that I'm not the only one who wants you? Deputy Dan would love for me to go to jail so he can have you."

  “You had your chance.”

  “I knew it. I knew this was about the night -”

  “I don't want to go into it.” She tried to rise, but he grabbed her by the waist pulling her into his lap.

  “You brought it up. It's time we had it out.”

  “Jack, don't.”

  “Why?”

  “Because... because I was humiliated.”

  His eyes widened. “Humiliated? Tess I would never ... what I did was to avoid that.”

  “It's not your fault. I was the one who threw myself at you. I thought maybe all that flirting ..., but I was wrong. You can't sit here and tell me differently.”

  He gave her a light shake. “I did want you. I hurt with wanting you -”

  “Jack-”

  “Here me out!” He drew in a breath. “Turning you down that night was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. And I nearly gave in, except I wanted.. no, I needed you to want me.”

  “Usually when a woman throws herself at you it means she wants you.” She tried again to disentangle herself from him, but he only tightened his grip.

  “You wanted someone, but it wasn't about me. An hour before you showed up at my place you were still engaged to another man. You were angry and wanted to get back at him for cheating. Or maybe you wanted to bury the pain or feel needed, I don't know. All I know is that it wasn't about me. Your feelings for me didn't match my feelings for you. As much as I wanted you, I wanted that more.”

  He was right, Tess thought. She'd gone to Jack because she knew him, trusted him, and needed someone to tell her she wasn't a loser. She wanted him to take away the pain and humiliation of having been a fool to be engaged to a man who not only cheated, but who preferred men. And in the end, she'd only made it worse for herself. And Jack had made it worse by being honorable.

  “I didn't want to wake up the next morning to face your regret," he continued. "To have you leave or be embarrassed. In the end you left anyway. I tried to contact you, but you just cut me off. Sometimes I think I should have given in. Maybe we'd still be together. Or maybe you would have left. But then I would have known.”

  “Known what?”

  His eyes were penetrating, right to her core. “What it was like to love you.”

  Tess' mouth felt like sandpaper. The way he could look at her, talk to her and make her go all hot and liquid inside.

  He leaned closer. “I'm determined to know this time, Tess.” His words were somewhere between a promise and threat. “Maybe not tonight, but some day.”

  She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. Every nerve in her body was firing. She finally believed in the possibility of spontaneous combustion.

  He continued to watch her as his lips moved millimeter by millimeter closer to hers. “Although tonight seems like a good time,” he said against her lips.

  At the moment it seemed like a good time to her too. This time there was nothing gentle or soothing about the kiss. She gave herself over to it, threading her hands in his hair, pulling him closer, closer. He pushed her back on the couch, moving himself over her. A low growl rumbled in his throat when his body fit against hers. His hand slid under her sweater, light feathery touches that sent ripples of pleasure through her body. Somehow she managed to get the sweater off and his hands rewarded her with their caress,

  Her own hands worked on his shirt, fumbling from button to button. She pushed it aside, splaying her hands on him, over him, feeling the vibration in his chest when he groaned at her touch. “It's so hard,” she murmured her fingers sliding through the hair on his chest.

  “It's not the only thing.” His hand found hers, guided her to him.

  As quick as the passion had sprung, the panic swept through her at the feel of his need. She pushed and flailed to get free of him. He jerked back and she took advantage by rolling out from under him, tumbling onto the floor.

  "Tess?" He reached to help her, but she drew away.

  "I'm alright," she said breathlessly as she righted herself and stood. She picked up her sweater, quickly covering herself as if that would erase what he'd already seen.

  "Did I hurt you?"

  She shook her head and turned away as embarrassment and shame spread.

  "What is it?"

  How could she explain? How could she tell him that his clever hands and lips, the words that drew her in, only served to highlight her inexperience. She was no prude, but neither could she compete with the likes of Ava Dumont and other long legged women he'd been with before.

  “I'm sorry. I don't think I can do this.” She expected to see anger or at least irritation, but his face showed worry.

  “I'm sorry," he said, watching her from his seat on the couch.

  “No. I ... it's not that I don't want to...”

  He waited for her to continue, to give him an explanation, but how could she confess her insecurities?

  “Is this still about what happened before?” he asked.

 
“No. It's more about my still not understanding why you want me. You can have any woman you want.” She chanced a look at him, but then turned away, embarrassed by her foolishness.

  “That's not exactly true.” He went to her then, taking her loosely in his arms. “There's only one woman I want, and that doesn't seem to be going very well. And when I say want, I don't just mean in a sexual sense, although that would be nice.”

  “What if it wasn't?”

  His brows drew together. “What?”

  “What if it wasn't nice?”

  “I don't understand.”

  She sighed. “What if I'm not that good?”

  She saw him bite his lip to keep from laughing. “Don't you laugh at me!”

  “I'm not,” he said as a snicker slipped out. “I'm not. I just... how could you not be good? Don't you see what you do to me?”

  “Brad didn't seem to think I was any good. God I drove him to another man!” She tugged away from, not able to look him in the eyes.

  "That's crazy. It's as crazy as my thinking that being related to the Worthingtons changes who I am," he said. "Brad was gay before he met you. He's always been gay. It was no reflection on you as a woman."

  She knew he was right, but the feelings of inadequacy stayed with her. If she'd been more feminine or sexy it would have been different, which she knew wasn't true and yet it was still there.

  "It's to your credit that he was willing to try to act straight. Not that he should have because no one should have to deny who and what they are. But he cared for you enough that he thought he could pull it off. He wanted to try and pull it off."

  "Just for his parents' money. Not for me."

  Jack studied her for a moment. "He once told me that if you were a man, you'd have been perfect for him. The only thing wrong with you was that you had breasts."

  Tess let out a small laugh.

  "I, on the other hand, love that you have breasts." She allowed him to turn her and take her into his arms. “And as far as your being any good, just holding you, kissing you is far better than I'd ever imagined...and I have a pretty good imagination.”

  “If that's true I will fall short.”