Wolf Bound

by Leisl Leighton

  ‘It’s the same for me.’ He tangled his fingers in the ends of her hair, tugged. ‘Soft. Silky. Not the same as when I felt alive, muted somehow, but it’s real.’

  ‘Why? How. How can you do that? How can I feel you?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ His voice was a low whisper and she almost imagined she could feel the brush of his breath across her skin.

  She stared up at him. If he wasn’t dead and wasn’t a figment of her imagination... ‘You’re a Shade.’

  His expression clouded and his hand dropped from her hair, but the action seemed to catch his attention and he lifted his hand again, stared at it. ‘I had thought maybe that was it, but then …’ He touched her shoulder, slid his hand up to cup the bare skin on her neck. There was the cold sensation, a sensual glide, making her shiver in anticipation. ‘Does that hurt you? Drain you?’

  ‘No.’ Realisation dawned. He could touch her. And it didn’t hurt. Didn’t drain her of witch power or life force. If he was a Shade, that’s what would happen. But if he wasn’t a Shade and he wasn’t a spirit … ‘What are you?’

  ‘I was hoping you would help me find out.’

  She blinked away the sudden rush of moisture that blurred her vision. What the hell was wrong with her? She didn’t cry. Didn’t feel anything so deep as the kind of sadness or longing or grief that would make her cry. She’d had to harden herself against those feelings years before because of her ‘gift’, otherwise they would have destroyed her. ‘I’ve been trying to help you. I’ve been trying to find out about Warlock Lightning and the wounds it creates. And Tricksters, just in case it has something to do with your role in the pack.’

  ‘I know. I’ve been watching you, remember. But there’s so much more going on here than simply that.’ He told her what had happened the night he tried to re-bond with his body. ‘And then the most remarkable thing happened. I found myself talking to …’

  ‘Shit, Adam. You almost died.’ She blew out a breath, her aunt’s words playing in her mind again. She’d left him, his body, and hadn’t looked back because she was afraid of the insanity being near him was bringing on. And her leaving, taking away the only person he could communicate with, had caused him to act in such a rash way, almost killing him. Was this what her aunt meant?

  ‘Shelley?’

  She blinked, shook her head. ‘Thank god Bron realised there was black magic in the wound. You could have died, Adam.’ She wanted to grab him, shake him. ‘You could have died.’

  ‘It’s okay, Kitten. I didn’t die. I’m fine. You can see I’m fine.’

  She nodded. He wasn’t really fine, still being in spirit form, but she knew what he meant. ‘Okay. Okay,’ she said on a shuddering breath. ‘You were saying something about a remarkable thing happening.’

  ‘I was trying to, before you got off topic.’

  She hardly thought him almost dying was off topic, but she forced herself not to respond. ‘Tell me now.’

  ‘So, I ended up in this place that Eloise created and it was the goddess Arianrhod who had brought me there.’ He continued, telling her in detail what had happened. She stood, gaping at him. ‘Shelley? Did you hear what I said?’

  ‘You saw the goddess, Arianrhod?’ she asked as if waking from a dream. ‘And she said we were related?’

  ‘I know. It’s a kicker, right. But somehow, it makes sense. Your powers are different from the other witches that I’ve met.’

  ‘God-touched,’ she whispered. ‘It makes horrible sense.’ His brow rose, questioningly. ‘In the past, it was said that anyone who could see the future in any way, was God-touched. As was anyone who saw death. And being God-touched brought madness with it.’ She laughed, an edge of hysteria to the sound.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘My aunt Lilyanna said we were touched by the Goddess. I had no idea she meant it literally.’ She shook her head, squeezed her hand tight around the car keys and met his gaze. ‘I wonder what the link is?’

  ‘Perhaps it says something in your family grimoire.’

  She rubbed her head. ‘No. I’ve read it back to front.’

  ‘You’ve read it? How? I thought it was with your family.’

  Her mouth quirked. ‘I stole it a while back. I figured I needed it more than they did. I wanted to see if there was anyone with my talent in the past who hadn’t gone insane. But there wasn’t.’ She wrapped her arms around her body. ‘I guess I know why now.’

  ‘It might not happen to you. You’re different from the rest of them.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘Of course it matters.’ He gripped her shoulders. ‘Everything about you matters.’

  She shrugged off his touch. ‘Not at the moment, it doesn’t. What matters is figuring out how to help you and why this has happened. What matters is finding out who this woman is that you need to talk to. My problems will just have to wait.’

  Pain lurched through her head with a sickening thump and she winced.

  ‘It’s getting worse, isn’t it?’

  She nodded carefully.

  ‘Then let’s get in your car and get you home.’ He backed up so she could turn and open the door. By the time she’d lowered herself inside, he was already sitting in the passenger seat beside her.

  She stared, then shook herself and started the car. ‘So, you can slip through walls like a spirit or Shade, but you’re not one. And I can see, hear and talk to you clearly despite all the work I’ve put into my shields that helps me fend off other spirits. All of which means you’re some other kind of thing that we’ve never heard of before.’

  ‘That’s right. I’m a not-shade spirit-thingy.’ He tipped his head to the side. ‘Hey, I like that. A not-shade spirit-thingy. It’s got a ring to it.’

  She snorted, put the car into reverse and backed out. ‘I’m not calling you a “not-shade spirit-thingy”.’

  ‘Spoilsport!’ He stuck his tongue out at her.

  She began to drive carefully through the labyrinthine carpark. ‘You know, going to the other side is supposed to make you more serene. Less of an idiot.’

  ‘You’d think that, wouldn’t you? I’d say it sounds good in theory but doesn’t really work in reality.’

  ‘For you.’

  ‘For any of the spirits you deal with. I wouldn’t say being dead has made Adeline or Harrison more malleable. They seemed pretty full on when they took you over last year.’

  ‘Hmm.’ She didn’t like thinking of those times. It still hurt her head and made her feel sick when she did.

  ‘Besides, I’m not a usual spirit. I’m a not-shade spirit-thingy.’

  ‘Idiot,’ she said as she pulled out into the traffic.

  ‘You love me for it.’

  His words shot through her, a short, sharp jab. A burn. She glanced over at him, but he was staring out the window, oblivious to how his thrown-away words might affect her. So oblivious. Always oblivious. Except for that one moment in the dam the night of the blood moon before she had succumbed to the banshee wail. The night Adam had almost died and Marcus had. The night Cain got away.

  Cain. She gasped. ‘Do you think maybe Cain meant to do this to you? That it’s part of their plan to weaken us?’

  ‘I think maybe he’s just an insane bastard who gets off on killing. Besides, going by what Arianrhod managed to tell me, being what I am now is essential to her plans to fight the Darkness. I don’t think Cain would do anything that might help our cause.’

  ‘No. You’re right. I just wished we knew more. Maybe Eloise has come across something in her studies about the Nexus.’

  ‘We’ll have to ask her.’

  She fell silent, chewing her lip as she thought about everything he’d told her.

  ‘Hey, what are you thinking?’ He reached out, touched her shoulder.

  The ice cold of his touch was muted by her clothing, but still, she felt the aching reality of it. She wanted to lean into his touch, but no good could ever come of giving into that need. Instead, she swa
llowed and said, ‘I’m sorry I ignored you before now. It’s just … I didn’t want to believe you were real, because I thought that meant you were dead. Or were about to be. And I couldn’t stand the thought of that. Not you. Not after all the other losses. It was too much.’

  ‘I get it. All that matters now is that you are seeing me and you’re going to help me.’

  ‘Of course I am.’

  She pulled into the street that led to the packhouse. ‘How do you want me to tell the others?’

  He winced. ‘Could we not tell them yet?’

  She looked at him, surprised. ‘Why not?’ She pulled into the driveway and parked, turned to look at him. His shoulders tensed, his mouth thinning. Was he going to answer her question?

  He let out a loud breath, his eyes glowing in the now dark car. She had no idea what he was thinking but knew whatever it was, those thoughts were deep and personal and very much about protecting the others in the pack.

  ‘I’d just like to know more before we tell them.’

  ‘You don’t want to get their hopes up.’

  ‘Something like that.’ He tipped his head. ‘So, how about it? We keep this just between you and me.’

  She stared at him for long minutes before nodding. ‘Until we learn something more.’ She shook her head. ‘I can’t believe you spoke to a goddess.’ She frowned and stared out the window. ‘You know, I read something the other day that indicated that the gods couldn’t speak to anyone unless they had a certain level of power. I know a Trickster is different from others in the pack, but maybe it’s more of a difference than we ever thought. Maybe the source of your empathy comes from some magical power.’

  ‘Oh, I’m different,’ he snorted, ‘but I don’t think I’m special enough to have power.’

  ‘Stop running yourself down like that.’ She smacked him on the hand. He looked up at her in surprise. ‘The fact you can read the diaries is proof you do have some form of magic inside you most Were don’t. Besides that, I’ll have you know that the Trickster was valued very highly in centuries past. Packs that had Tricksters in each generation always did better than those without.’ She touched his shoulder, met his gaze when he looked at her. ‘You aren’t only for shits and giggles. You’re needed in a much deeper way. It’s not only me saying it. The others can all feel it. You heard River and Bron say as much. And Arianrhod said something similar to you. You’ve been chosen because you are special. We just have to figure out why.’

  ‘Okay.’ He looked down at her hand where it still touched his shoulder.

  She snatched it back. ‘Anyway,’ she coughed, clearing her throat. ‘It’s getting cold in here. We better get inside.’ She hopped out of the car and walked up the path. Adam was at her side before she’d taken a few steps. ‘We should ask Adeline if she knows anything about this woman you’re supposed to go with. She was there that night. If she saw her, she might know who she was. Adeline knows a lot of spirits.’

  ‘I already tried to ask her, but we didn’t get very far.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Communication is tricky. I can’t really talk with the other spirits.’

  She stopped at the front door and dug through her bag to get her house keys. ‘What do you mean? I thought you said you spoke to that woman?’

  ‘I did. But aside from the people who were still alive, she was the only one I could hear. The other spirit voices are brushed away in the wind that’s here all the time. It even makes it hard to hear those who are alive if they aren’t speaking loudly enough.’

  ‘What wind?’

  He stared at her as if she’d said something strange. ‘You have to know about the wind.’

  ‘No. Nobody has ever mentioned it before.’

  ‘Huh.’

  ‘Maybe that’s another clue.’ Although it seemed like a strange one.

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘You can hear me okay though?’

  ‘Yes. You’re the only one I can hear with any clarity aside from the woman and Arianrhod.’ He sighed. ‘So, I hate to ask this, given how I know you feel about using your powers, but until I figure my way around the sound of the wind or that woman comes back, you’re going to have to help me communicate with the others. They might have answers.’

  ‘Yes.’ She swallowed hard against the nausea rising inside and dropped the keys on the ground. ‘Damn it.’ She reached down to pick them up, fumbling them in the door.

  Adam’s hand over hers steadied her shaking. ‘We don’t have to start straight away.’

  ‘Okay.’ She knew it was weak to feel relieved by him giving her a little while, knew she should insist she start questioning spirits straight away, but she couldn’t. She hated engaging with the spirits. They always took so much out of her. It was exhausting. Even with the new multiple-layered shields she’d learned to raise—which she was supposed to be able to lower a few layers so she could communicate but still keep herself protected from them with the inner layers—it was still difficult to be around them. And they were around pretty much all the time now. Always wanting something from her, always bludgeoning her with their need. It was one of the reasons for the increasingly bad headaches. Even with the shields, their need drained her. Since Ostara, it had gotten worse. She thought her head was going to split open earlier. Except …

  She frowned. Touched her temple. The pain had gone. As had all the spirits which constantly followed her around. In fact, they mostly weren’t around when Adam was. Strange. Not that it really mattered why the headache was gone, only that it had. She wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

  She pulled her hand from Adam’s, feeling a little steadier now, and opened the door. Once inside, she dumped her bag on the hallstand and turned to go down the hallway that led to the library.

  ‘Where do you think you’re going?’

  ‘Library.’ She kept walking.

  Adam shook his head. ‘Nuh-uh. Food and bed.’

  ‘But my headache’s gone.’

  ‘You still don’t look well. You’ve been driving yourself too hard.’

  ‘Says who?’

  ‘Says not-dead me.’ He crossed his arms as he appeared in front of her, blocking the doorway of the library. ‘Do I really have to get all alpha male on you?’

  ‘As if you could,’ she scoffed.

  ‘I’ll hide the diaries. You won’t be able to find them.’

  ‘You can’t touch them.’

  ‘Wanna bet? If I can touch you, I’m thinking I can touch anything I want.’

  She glowered at him for a moment, considering pushing past him. But then she’d have to touch him. The urge to do so was too great. She ached every time he touched her, longing, loss and relief intertwined with a bone-deep need that she’d never been able to divorce herself from when it came to him. She couldn’t touch him again or allow him to touch her. Not tonight.

  He simply stood there as if he knew how much she wanted to, arms crossed, a shit-eating grin on his face. She clenched her fists at her side. God, she wanted to smack that grin from his face. Or kiss it away.

  No! No kissing. Definitely no kissing. He wasn’t corporeal. Not that there would be any kissing when he was corporeal. Which he would be, if she could only get to the diaries and start researching.

  As if he could read her mind, his grin widened and he shook his head. ‘Uh-uh-uh. No trying to guilt me into letting you have your way by “but Adam, I’m doing this for you” wheedling. Food. Sleep. In that order.’ He unfolded his arms long enough to point in the direction of the kitchen. ‘Be a good kitty. I thought I might start calling you Goddess, given your relations and all, but I think I still prefer Kitten.’

  Her fists shook at her sides and she growled—actually growled!—at him.

  He simply laughed. ‘You purr nice, Kitten.’

  ‘Argh! You’re a misbegotten, sadistic arsehole, you know that?’

  ‘Sticks and stones, Kitten.’ He mock frowned. ‘Actually, I’m not sure that holds true anymore.
I don’t think sticks and stones could break my bones as I don’t appear to have any.’

  ‘Your body does. Perhaps I should go there now and show you just how much sticks and stones can hurt.’

  He bowed, grin firmly in place. ‘You’re welcome to. After you’ve had something to eat and a good sleep.’

  ‘Argh! You’re so annoying.’ She threw her hands up and headed for the kitchen. Actually, now the headache was gone, she was kind of hungry. So it suited her to go and make herself a sandwich. She’d make herself a sandwich with all Annoying Adam’s favourite ingredients and then she’d enjoy it so much while eating it in front of him, she’d give Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally a run for her money.

  The thought made her smile.

  ‘What are you smiling at, Kitten.’

  ‘Just the thought of a bit of revenge.’

  Chapter 7

  ‘How’s Adam?’

  Bron looked up as Jason came into the room. ‘The same.’ She rubbed her temple. ‘I don’t know what else to do for him.’

  ‘You saved him.’ River’s hand on her shoulder calmed her. She shrugged it off. She didn’t want to be calmed.

  ‘It’s not good enough.’ She stood up, pushed away from the bed, swayed a little.

  ‘Careful.’ River’s hands caught her—they always caught her. ‘You’ve been giving too much of yourself to the healing.’

  ‘It’s not enough. And now I can’t heal him because of the cuff that’s keeping that thing—’ her finger pointed shakily at the black seeping wound in his chest ‘—at bay. I don’t know what else to do.’ Her vision wavered, tears spilling over before she could blink them away.

  ‘Hey, hey.’ Jason was there in front of her, stroking her hair, brushing away the tears as River stood at her back, holding her steady, even when his heart was aching for her. She felt that aching now and she was sorry for it. It made her cry more. Jason gripped her shoulders. ‘You’re asking too much of yourself. More than anyone would ever ask of you.’ He glanced at Adam. His voice dropped. ‘More than Adam ever would.’

  ‘Jason’s right,’ River murmured. ‘If Adam saw you now, he’d be the first one to kick your arse. Then he’d kick mine for letting you do it to yourself. And I’d deserve it. I’ve not been a very good mate.’