Wolf Bound

by Leisl Leighton

‘That’s because of what I’ve read. The histories. It has nothing to do with thinking you weak.’

  His eyes flashed. ‘I’m nothing like those Tricksters from the past. I’ve grown up with extra magic always there. It was new to them and they didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t even know who I was or what I could do and I handled it better than any of them. It was me who kept the pack going when the Curse was enacted. If your histories are correct, then I should have died giving too much of myself when there were so many who needed my energies. But I didn’t. I got stronger.’ He threw his head back and snapped out a laugh. ‘I kept a whole pack from going insane without dying and since then I’ve learned so much more about what I can do from Morghanna; become even stronger. I think I can keep one mate from going insane without turning into insubstantial dust. Don’t you trust me?’

  ‘With my life. It’s your life I don’t trust myself with.’ The words spilled out of her before she had a chance to think about them. She wished she could suck them back in, or find some way to make him forget she’d ever said them. But that was as useless as wishing that Adam would ever placidly do what she wanted.

  ‘That’s the problem, right there.’

  ‘What?’ She tried to act annoyed, as if she had a right to still be angry with him, but it wasn’t working, because everything she’d made herself believe was crumbling around her, making her footing very precarious. She was wobbling. One strong breath and she was going to topple off and into the abyss.

  ‘You know what. You don’t trust yourself. That guff about the Tricksters and how they died by giving too much to their mates was never real.’

  ‘Oh, it was real.’

  ‘For them. But that’s not me.’ He jabbed himself in the chest. ‘And it certainly isn’t you. You’re not anywhere close to going insane.’

  ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about.’

  ‘Don’t I?’ He took a step closer. ‘What am I, Shelley? What is it that I do that nobody else does quite the same way?’

  ‘You’re an empath at heart. One that gives and receives.’

  He pointed his finger at her. ‘Yes. I receive. I can feel other’s emotions. And I’ve got better and better at it, especially now that I know what it is I do. Even without my Trickster body, the human and the wolf hearts of me, I can feel everything.’ He stepped even closer, until he was crowding her back against the window. ‘I can feel you. You love me. That’s there. But you can’t let it out because your fear is so huge, it’s engulfing everything else. Engulfing your ability to be able to see what is right in front of you.’

  ‘And what is that?’ She thrust her chin up, meeting his glare, arms crossed, shoulders tense.

  ‘You are not your aunt. You’re not anyone else in your family. Hell, you’re not like anyone else ever. You are a banshee-medium. And you are so strong. Nobody has ever been stronger.’

  ‘I’m not strong,’ she said, stuttering over the words.

  ‘Oh, but you are, and that’s what you fear the most.’ He cupped her face, gentle but firm. She wanted to move away but couldn’t, his touch fixing her to the spot. ‘It’s that fear that’s scratching away at the edges of your mind. Not insanity. It’s your family who made you think that feeling of power was something to fear, that it was the thing that would drive you insane. But they are wrong. You were made for greater things than they could ever dream, and when you get around to trusting yourself, trusting your power, you’ll see that I’m right. I’ve seen the consequences of you letting your fear overcome everything you are, and believe me, it’s not something any of us want.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  He shook his head. ‘I’m not going into that now other than to say your banshee is not an enemy unless you make it one.’ He dropped his hands, stepped back. ‘When you realise the truth in that, I’ll be there. Waiting. For you. My mate.’

  He turned and walked away, disappearing before he’d even reached the door. The cold of his touch burned into her skin long after he’d gone. Long after she’d closed her mouth and made her mind grind into action.

  He was right. The problem wasn’t him. He was strong. He would survive—he would thrive—mated to her. She knew it deep down. The mating bond would never have come into being if she had been so wrong for him. It was her fear keeping her from him. Fear of her power. Fear of her strength. Fear of reaching for something so incredibly precious and having it snatched away before she could prepare herself for its loss. It was bad enough having the connection with Bron and Skye. Even with them, she’d always tried to keep herself a little apart, to protect herself from the eventual loss of them. She’d been convinced for years that they would leave her, as everyone always did. But they never had; never would. And neither would Adam. She belonged with him. She was so deep in love with him that the fear of losing him had made her push him away. Just like she was pushing away a part of herself that only wanted to be recognised, that only wanted to be accepted.

  She was the banshee-medium. A woman with enough strength to fight back the Darkness and claim everything in life that she ever wanted. Including the man who would wait for her always. Forever.

  ‘Adam!’ She ran after him, out of the room, into the hallway and almost collided with Bron. ‘Shit!’ She jumped sideways and slammed into the wall.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Bron asked as River helped steady her.

  ‘Fine.’ She rubbed at her shoulder. ‘I just got a shock. I didn’t expect you to be there.’

  ‘Obviously. So, where’s the fire?’

  She stared at Bron. ‘What?’

  ‘Ah, I see. Lack of sense of humour. Things must be bad indeed.’

  ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

  Bron shared an amused look with River, lips twitching. ‘Adam. You. The argument we all could hear from outside.’

  ‘You heard us?’

  ‘Well, truth be told, we could only hear you, but there’s only one person you argue with like that, so it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what was going on.’

  ‘Is that why you’re here? Because you heard us shouting?’

  Bron shook her head, chuckling. ‘No. If anything, it was the silence afterwards that caused more worry. I said you were probably just having some really hot make-up sex.’

  ‘And I pointed out that wasn’t possible given he wasn’t in his body.’

  Bron poked her tongue out at River. ‘Spoilsport.’ She gestured her hand at Shelley. ‘You know they did it a few months ago, even though he was in spirit form.’

  ‘Yes, but that was obviously because of something the Goddess did to help create the mating link.’

  Shelley gaped at them. ‘You knew? How come you pretended like you didn’t?’

  ‘Because we were waiting for you to tell us.’

  She almost sounded hurt. ‘I … I …’

  ‘We know,’ Bron said, saving her from her incoherence. ‘We kind of figured you needed to talk to Adam first.’ She peered into the room behind Shelley. ‘Speaking of which, where is he?’

  ‘I’m here.’ Shelley spun around and saw him leaning against the wall, watching her. ‘I never truly left.’

  She closed her eyes as relief washed over her. There was so much she wanted to say. So much she needed to apologise for. Promises that should be made. She opened her mouth to say something to him, but all that came out was, ‘He’s here.’

  ‘Hey! What’s going on up here?’ Skye appeared at the head of the steps, hand cupping her slightly rounded belly, Jason at her side. ‘Morrigan says you have to come now.’

  Shelley swore under her breath. Could she never get a break? Just five minutes to say what needed to be said to Adam? Was that too much to ask?

  ‘Coming.’ Bron hooked her arm through Shelley’s and pulled her along. ‘Whatever it is, it will wait,’ she said softly. ‘He will wait. If you have what I think you have, he will wait for you.’

  ‘I know.’ But that wasn’t the problem. She glanced
behind her. Adam followed, his gaze never leaving her. Hunger, longing, love, understanding, burned in his eyes. The heat of it followed her down the stairs and outside. She wanted to swing around, to ask him to forgive her, to promise him better in the future. But she would have to wait until after.

  After.

  She’d just have to make sure they all made it through tonight so there could be an after.

  The silvery light of the moon bathed the land. She’d never noticed the power in the moon before, but she noticed it now. It tingled over her skin, making her suck in her breath as her own power responded. Could the others feel that too?

  A group of Were, witches and spirits stood inside the clearing they’d prepared with candles and wards earlier that day. The lines they’d drawn with ash and salt in the centre of the clearing glowed in the moonlight: a small circle inside a triangle, inside a triple circle—Morrigan’s addition she said would add to the power in an essential way—inside a square. The representation of the Nexus standing inside the triumvirate, all encompassed with the circle of life and death, bound by the bonds of love and connection to their mates. Each of them would stand at a point—Eloise in the middle, Skye, Bron and Shelley at the three points of the triangle, a ring of spirits, a ring of Were—both McVale and McClune—and a ring of the McClune Coven around them, then Jason, River, Iain and Adam at the four points of the square on the outside, binding all within, linked to all within, feeding everything back into the triumvirate, and from them into the Nexus. They had chosen a clearing that transected with a ley line so that when the spell got going, Eloise would be able to pour all their power through the Goddess Stone, now embedded in her chest, into the ley line and use it to search out every last speck of the Darkness, tearing it from its moorings and expelling it from the earth.

  Eloise was standing just outside the square, Iain by her side. She was talking to Morrigan—or more correctly, Morrigan seemed to be doing all the talking and Eloise was nodding. She didn’t need any pack link to feel Iain’s tension as he stood, arm around her, body angled so that he could move between Morrigan and Eloise in less than a breath.

  ‘You okay, Eloise?’ Bron said as they rejoined her.

  Eloise looked up. Her eyes were glittering with excitement and worry. ‘Morrigan was just giving me some tips.’

  ‘You don’t need them,’ Iain said.

  She placed her hand on his arm. ‘I need whatever help and advice I can get.’

  Distrust and hatred snapped in his eyes as he glanced at Morrigan. ‘She’s never done anything like this before.’

  ‘No,’ Eloise replied. ‘But she’s been wielding magic for longer than all our lives put together. She knows things we don’t. And she wants this to work as much as we do.’

  Skye took in a sharp breath, hand cupping the slight roundness of her stomach.

  ‘You okay?’ Jason asked.

  Skye nodded. ‘The babies just moved.’

  He put his hand on her stomach. ‘I feel them too.’

  Joy beamed from her and she laughed. ‘It feels so strange.’

  ‘And wonderful,’ Morrigan said. ‘It’s fortuitous you’re pregnant.’

  ‘Miraculous is more the word I’d use.’ Skye smiled at Bron.

  ‘Both our pregnancies are miraculous. But that’s not what I was talking about. The Darkness doesn’t know about them, so he won’t be expecting the extra juice you’ll all get from them being a part of the spell.’

  ‘I won’t use my babies in this.’

  ‘You don’t have a choice. They’re as much a part of this as any one of you.’ She flinched, hand cupping her stomach, the other rubbing her back.

  ‘Are you okay?’

  Morrigan nodded, but didn’t speak, her lips thin.

  Cordy was at her side in a moment. ‘How long have you been having the contractions?’

  Morrigan grimaced. ‘For an hour or so. It’s okay. I can hold on.’ She glared at Cordy. ‘The Darkness isn’t going to get my baby.’

  Cordy gripped her hand. ‘No. It’s not.’

  Something seemed to pass between the two women and then Morrigan nodded once, sharply, and pulled her hand from Cordy’s. ‘Let’s get this started. You need to be well into the spell before Cain and the Darkness get here.’

  ‘They’re not getting anywhere close,’ Michael, one of the McClunes’ lieutenants, said. ‘Our soldiers will stop them.’

  ‘No,’ Morrigan said. ‘They can’t get in the way. Can’t let him kill them. That will only give Cain and the Darkness more power to play with. They have to stay out of the way. Trust in the booby traps we’ve put in place.’

  ‘They know their jobs,’ Jason said.

  ‘Is there any chance Cain will survive after the Darkness has left him?’ Eloise asked.

  Morrigan met her question unflinchingly. ‘No. Unlike me, the Darkness won’t leave him or the others it still inhabits, willingly. And in Cain, it has sunk its claws deeper than any other I know.’ She reached out, touched Eloise’s arm. ‘The boy you once loved has been gone for a long time.’

  ‘I know.’ Eloise took a deep breath, blinking hard and fast. ‘I just hope it’s quick.’

  Iain pulled Eloise into his arms and glared at Morrigan. ‘You okay, baby?’

  She hugged him hard for a moment and then stepped back. ‘Yes. Let’s get on with it.’ The stone glowed through her shirt as if in agreement.

  ‘All right.’

  They were about to take their places when Morrigan gasped. ‘Oh Goddess. He’s coming. He’s almost here. The booby traps you’ve set won’t hold him back for long. We must hurry. You have to begin. Now!’

  ‘Then let’s begin,’ Shelley said, nodding at her coven. They moved as one to take their places, the others surrounding them in the circles, their mates marking the encompassing square.

  Once in position, Eloise placed her hands over the stone in her chest. Power glowed around her, shifting colours that represented all of them and the life they endeavoured to safeguard. Everyone looked to Shelley. She had to begin the ceremony—the beginning was all on her.

  Bron and Skye raised their arms, hands outstretched, linking fingertips, opening to each other. She linked her fingertips with theirs and with a quick glance to her left to ensure Adam was in place, ready to hold her steady and do his part, she took a deep breath and did what she’d never done so willingly before.

  She dropped her shields and opened herself to all the dead.

  Chapter 26

  Silence.

  It caught Shelley by surprise. She’d expected an immediate influx of noise, the cries of all the spirits pleading, needing, pushing at her. But there was nothing. She opened her eyes. They were all standing there, surrounding her, their mouths closed, their needs withheld. Adeline and Harrison stepped forward, nodded to her. ‘You have opened yourself to us freely and we are here to help.’

  Guilt sliced through her. They were so ready to help when she had always hated having to help any of them. All she could say was, ‘Thank you.’

  She opened herself further. Adeline and Harrison waved the spirits forward, one at a time. She tried not to stiffen, fear a living thing in her chest, a bitter taste in her throat. This was necessary. It was necessary. She would live through this. She would.

  ‘I’m here, Kitten.’ Adam’s voice in her mind made her relax. She could feel him through their bond. It was a tentative thing, but it was enough for her to hear him, to feel him as if he stood behind her, holding her shoulders. Holding her steady.

  The first spirit touched her, melting into her, melding itself to her power. She flinched.

  ‘Are they hurting you?’

  Bron’s voice came from her left.

  ‘No. It just feels … difficult.’

  ‘We’re here with you,’ Skye said.

  Shelley nodded. Their power built, surrounding her. Touching her like a caress of warm, summer-scented breeze. Their presence comforted her, allowed her to hold back the flinch as the next spi
rit and the next melded with her, giving her the power of their deaths.

  ‘It’s not fast enough.’

  She glanced over to Morrigan, who stood in the circle of witches. She didn’t have more than her basic powers, but her knowledge was more than enough to make up for it. She was there to direct the others so the triumvirate could pull power from them freely. She would give advice to the triumvirate as they became part of the spell. Even so, Shelley resented her tone. ‘I’m going as fast as I can.’

  ‘Go faster. The others need to start building their powers before the moon rises higher. You must be ready to feed that power into the Nexus as one when the moon is at its zenith and the power of Samhain is upon us. They will be ready long before you if you don’t go faster.’

  Shelley breathed deeply. She looked at the spirits before her, at Adeline and Harrison and knew they were treating her with kid gloves because, even though she had opened to them willingly, she was still afraid. She was still keeping part of herself from them all because, despite everything she’d thought before, she was still afraid of letting go and what might happen if she did.

  It was stupid. It was going to destroy everything. She had to let go and trust Adam and the others to guide her and keep her safe.

  Trust. It was now or never.

  ‘Come.’ She gestured to the spirits before her. ‘You have to come now. All of you.’ She let go of the shields she’d been holding in place around her heart, her soul, and with eyes and breath and body she welcomed the unknown in.

  The spirits hesitated. Then they rushed at her—hundreds of them—entering her in a way she’d never allowed any spirit to enter her before, not through her body, but through her soul, through the heart of her power.

  She jerked as they came into her, one after another without surcease. Her chest froze. She struggled to breathe. Every muscle and tendon seized, her joints locking. The banshee began to hum inside her, responding to the power of all those deaths, the power that was usually held beyond the veil but was now open for Shelley to use. She swayed, but didn’t fall—the power of the others wrapped around her, holding her firm, as did the bond with Adam. It was as if his hands were holding her, thumbs stroking across her shoulders.