But she knows the truth. “I don’t ever want to see you again. I’ll pack the rest of the house myself. I’ll be leaving in a week. You can come get the rest after I’ve gone.” She nods toward the door. “Now please leave.”
“Jane,” I breathe out, but she doesn’t want to hear it and I don’t blame her one bit. What I’ve done, it’s wrong. I never should have allowed myself to touch her, no matter how it feels when we connect.
“Please! Just go!” She walks into the living room and down the hall into her bedroom. I hear her door close quietly.
Feeling like a piece of shit, I walk out, leaving her hurting and not understanding a damn thing. It’s not something I can explain though. I can’t even explain it to myself. I can only feel it, and it feels so fucking right. My heart skips a beat when she looks into my eyes. Every muscle in my body tightens with anticipation, waiting for her touch, even just a brush of her hand on my arm is something I long for. I know it’s wrong, but goddamn it, it’s perfect. She’s perfect. And she’s mine. I’m done trying to deny what I feel for her.
I don’t waste any time in driving straight to the city. The whole time, I can only think of her: her touch, her taste, her smell. She’s what I want, what I crave and long for.
I knock on her door and she answers, still in the white dress she wore to the cemetery, the one that makes her look like a beautiful angel that fell in love with the devil himself.
“Fuck, Hope.” My hands reach for her, landing on either side of her face as I pull her in for a kiss. Automatically, her legs wrap around me while I carry her off to her room.
I kick the door closed behind us and we fall onto her bed. “You’re so fucking beautiful in this dress. Like my own perfect, little angel,” I say pulling my shirt off as she starts to wiggle out of her dress.
I watch as she strips down to nothing but white, lace panties. “Do you know how beautiful you are?” I ask when her hands find my belt. Already, I’m straining against my dress pants. “Do you know how badly I wanted to bend you over in front of me today? You’re so fucking perfect.” My lips find hers as she pulls me down on top of her. Her hands still pushing my pants and boxers over my hips.
I place myself at her entrance and push forward, making her arch her back and call out.
I pull out slowly. “You’re a beautiful angel that was put on this Earth for the devil himself,” I say before thrusting back into her.
Her eyes lock on mine. “You’re not the devil, Holden. You’re just a man who found love. There’s nothing wrong with that.” She pushes against me until I roll us over so she can ride every last inch of my aching dick.
Watching her move up and down my length is breathtaking. Her full chest bounces with her movements, her head dips back and her lips part with her heavy breathing, clearly enjoying my body as much as I enjoy hers.
When she begins riding me even faster, I find myself digging my fingertips into her hips, desperately trying to hold on for dear life. I’ve never felt this way before.
Ever.
She consumes me in every way possible. She owns my head, my heart, my whole body. And I’ll gladly give myself to her in any way she wants.
Chapter 21
I’m lying in Holden’s arms, feeling completely happy and content when he takes a deep breath.
“What’s the matter?”
I feel him shake his head. “Nothing. I just feel happy for the first time in a long time.”
A smile spreads across my face. “Me too.”
After a moment, he breaks the silence. “Jane saw us outside today. She knows.”
I inhale sharply as I twist in his arms to see his face. “What does that mean?” I’m wondering if this is his way of telling me goodbye. Or if it means to brace myself for the hell that’s going to try and tear us apart.
“It means she’s completely disgusted with me. She said I was a pervert and I was dishonoring his memory. That I never should have touched you.”
I place my hand on his jaw. “And what do you think of that?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m still torn. I know what we’ve done is wrong, and I feel like I’m betraying Dean. But what we have, nothing else compares to it.” He rolls us over so I’m on my back with him leaning over me.
“I’ve lived forty-three years on this planet, and I’ve never felt the way I do when I’m with you. My heart beats for you.” He kisses my neck. “My body calls out for you.” His kisses move downward, caressing my collarbone. “I’m completely consumed by you.” His lips move down to the swell of my breast. “I’m in love with you, Hope. I know it’s wrong in every possible way. I know nobody will understand. And I know the things people will think about me. But I don’t care about any of it. All I care about is you, and making sure I keep you for the rest of my life.” He sucks my nipple into his hot mouth and swirls his tongue around it, making me take a sudden breath that turns into a soft moan.
“I love you too, Holden.” I tangle my fingers into his raven colored hair and pull until his blue-green eyes are on mine. “I only want you. I need you. And I don’t give a shit what anyone has to say about it. It’s my life, and I want to give it to you.” I pull his hair until his lips touch mine.
“Come on. I want you to check out the apartment,” Holden says as he pulls me into his new building.
I’m excited that he’s excited to show me, but being back in this town with him makes me worry about us stumbling into my parents.
We rush upstairs and he unlocks the door before opening it and allowing me to walk in first. I step inside and look around the place. The living room is big and spacious. The floor is a dark cherry that leads down the hallway. There is a big window that looks out onto the town square, and the entire place has that fresh paint smell.
“It’s nice!” I say as I walk around, looking out the window and walking into the kitchen that’s done in blue and gray tile with top of the line appliances.
“You like it?” he asks, coming up from behind me and wrapping his hands around my stomach as he pulls my back against his chest.
“I love it.” I spin in his arms and wrap my hands around his neck, pulling his lips to mine. The second they touch, a warming feeling spreads through my body.
I break the kiss and look into his eyes.
“What?” he asks.
I smile, feeling my face heat up. “How can such a simple touch or kiss light my body on fire?”
“I told you I’m the devil. Fire is my specialty.” He grins wickedly.
I laugh and smack his chest before pulling away to check out the rest of the apartment.
“Hey, do you have plans today?” he asks me as we’re walking back into the kitchen.
“No, I figured I’d spend the day with you. What are you thinking?”
“I want to take you on a ride.”
I grin. “A ride, huh? What kind of ride?”
He rolls his dark blue eyes. “In my Jeep, Hope.”
“Oh,” I say feeling a little let down.
He picks up on my disappointment. “Don’t worry. If you’re good I may fit in a little dirty fun.”
I perk up. “Deal!”
We head back out to his Jeep and I walk with my head ducked. When we’re both inside, I prop my right arm on the door and use my hand to block my face.
“What are you doing?”
I take a deep breath. “My parents don’t know about us and I don’t want them to see us together until I’ve had a chance to tell them.”
I watch as all amusement leaves his face. “That is something we need to figure out. We were almost caught once already.”
“We were?” I ask, quickly turning to look at him.
“Yeah, yesterday when Jane saw us. She was showing out your parents. She kept them from seeing, even though I don’t know why. I figured she would hate me and want to ruin what we have.”
I hear all the pain and anguish in his voice. I run my hands through my hair. “I’m sorry being with me is causing you so much gri
ef.” I quickly turn to look out the passenger side window.
“Hey.” His finger is under my chin, turning me to face him. “I don’t regret anything. I love you. It’s just going to take time to figure this out. But we will. I promise.”
I nod before staring out the windshield, thinking over our whole situation.
Being with Holden makes me happy. He makes me forget all about the bad times I’ve had. He makes me whole. I refuse to give up on that. But I’m still afraid of losing my parents. I don’t know what I’ll do if they don’t take the news well. I can only hope everything works out for us after all we’ve been through.
We drive out of town in the opposite direction of the city, way out into the middle of nowhere. I’m caught completely off guard when he turns off the pavement and onto a dirt trail that has rows of corn on either side.
“What are you doing? We’re in the middle of a field.”
He laughs at my shocked expression. “I know. There are some fun trails and hills out here I’ve been wanting to take this thing down.”
I feel my brows raise as I turn and look at him. “This is a thirty thousand dollar vehicle! You’re going to off-road this?”
He shrugs with confidence. “Why not? We won’t do anything too crazy.”
I hold onto the door with my right hand and my left hand clutches the handlebar on the dash as we start hitting potholes in the dirt road. At the end of the path, the tree line opens up. “There it is,” he says around a smile.
He pulls onto the trail and we’re surrounded by trees. He follows the winding path, over small ditches and bigger rocks. The whole way, he’s smiling. I haven’t seen him smile like this since before Dean died. He’s having fun, and I find myself watching him more than our surroundings.
Just seeing his wide smile and happy gleam in his eye has my heart pounding with excitement. It makes me feel like we may be okay after all.
We spend most of the day out in the forest, under a canopy of trees. He even drove us up a couple of hills that made my stomach drop just from looking at them, but he was calm and collected the whole way, fully believing in himself and his Jeep. I’ve never done anything like this before. It’s fun and dangerous. It makes me feel alive.
When the sky is dark, he turns on the headlights and lights up the trail. “I have one more place to go before we head back.”
I look over at his smile. “Where?” I ask, curious if it will be as fun as this trip.
“You’ll see.” He focuses all his attention in front of us, causing me to look around. I’m not the best with trails, but nothing looks familiar. “Are we going in the right direction?”
“For where I’m going, yes.”
I feel the corner of my mouth lift on its own as we come to a stop.
“We’re here.”
I look around us, still surrounded by trees. “We’re where?”
“Come on.” He motions with his head.
We both step out and meet in front of the Jeep. I look around and see we’ve made our way to a big hill, and we’re directly on top of it.
The sky is a dark, midnight-blue with the bright light of the stars and moon shining. I can see nothing but the black tops of rolling trees. “This is beautiful,” I breathe out.
“Just wait.” He turns away and starts taking the top off the Jeep. “Help me lift this off.”
I rush to the passenger side and help remove the top, sitting it on the ground behind the Jeep. It’s heavy, but luckily he bears most of the weight. “What are you doing?”
He holds up his finger as he opens the back hatch and climbs in. I stand back watching as he folds the backseat down, making the trunk space bigger. He then goes about with positioning pillows and blankets.
He looks at me while holding out his hand. I squeal as I take it and climb inside. I lay back into the cozy, makeshift bed.
“One last thing.” He gets up to his knees and grabs a cooler out of the backseat floorboard.
“What’s in there?”
“I know we’re both staying away from alcohol, but I figured a little wine wouldn’t hurt.” He pours us both a glass before settling at my side, sliding his arm beneath my neck.
The night is cool, but being snuggled next to him under the blanket, feeling his body heat, keeps me nice and warm. The natural fire the burns inside of me when he is close is blazing.
“This is perfect, Holden. Thank you.”
His dark blue eyes meet mine. “You don’t have to thank me, angel. We needed this. To just be us for one night, not having to hide from anyone.”
I snuggle up close to him, breathing in his scent. It washes over me, making me feel content and happy. I wish it could be like this all the time. Not having to hide from my parents or be quiet around my roommate. Just us, being together, loving one another, without having to explain or defend our relationship.
His right hand lands softly on my left hip as my nose skims up his neck so I can plant kisses against his mouth. Slowly, his hand slides up my side to cup my cheek, holding me to him while he deepens the kiss.
A kiss is all it takes to have me quivering, needing more of him. His touch is magnetic, it draws me in. He’s moving slow and careful, like he’s planning out every move before he makes it. Cautious, has never been us before. We’ve always been brought together by the overwhelming sensations and emotions for one another after trying so hard to avoid them, but now, it’s controlled.
Before when we’d get close like this, it wasn’t an option, it was out of necessity. Right now, it’s a choice. He’s in complete control. He’s choosing to give himself to me.
He’s making love to me.
The soft, delicate touches make my skin prickle as every hair stands up right. I can feel his love and passion through his touch, it consumes me. I’m lost in him.
He uses his knee to part my legs before sliding between them. His weight pressing on me feels right, like this is how we’re supposed to be. He pulls back, breaking the kiss, and our eyes lock. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to. We exchange everything we need with one look: love, desire, ownership. We didn’t have to choose one another because deep down, we knew where we belonged all along. Even when we both tried to keep our distance, fate had other ideas.
Slowly, he lowers his lips to my neck as he takes my wrists in his hands, raising them up above my head and pinning them down. His right hand forcefully trails down my arm and over to my breast, landing with a firm squeeze. I close my eyes as the fire burning in my belly takes over, burning me up from the inside out.
His lips begin making their descent, and my hands follow him, wanting to lace through his thick, black hair. Before I can even grab ahold, he pulls his hot mouth from my body. “Put them back,” he demands, giving me a heated glare.
His order makes my muscles harden with anticipation.
He gets himself to his knees between my legs and starts unbuttoning my flannel shirt. His fingers move quick and soon the shirt is open. He softly trails his fingers over the swell of my breasts and down between them to my stomach. He doesn’t talk, only watches as his fingers that are barely touching me drive me wild.
“Do you know how fucking beautiful you are, angel?”
I bite my lower lip and shake my head. His words make my skin flush. I love hearing his praises.
His fingers skim back up between my breasts slowly. “You drive me fucking crazy.” His hand moves back down, causing me to hold off a shiver as they work on pushing my jeans down my thighs. “You’re my angel. My perfect, sweet, innocent angel and I’m the devil that’s going to dirty your wings with ash.”
His body is back against mine as his lips take what they want. His hot tongue slides into my mouth while he presses his hard length against me. Not being able to control the sensations running through me, I wiggle against him, wanting to feel the friction in the place I need it the most. But his hands land on my hips, stopping them as his fingers dig into my skin.
“This isn’t fast.
This is going to be painfully slow.” He gets himself back to his knees as he starts pulling my wet panties from my body. “I’m going to tease you until you beg me to fuck you.” He trails his finger between my folds, spreading my arousal. “I want you to feel like you’re going to burst before I even slide inside you.” His thumb presses against my bundle of nerves, making me take a shuddering breath.
With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he lowers his mouth to my clit. When his hot tongue flicks against my center, I call out and reach for him, but he pulls away quickly. “Hands up.”
Immediately, I do what he says, and the second they’re back in place, he laps at me again. I twist my fingers together to fight the urge to touch him. He’s barely touched me, yet I’m already filled with desire, needing more of him.
His hands grab my thighs and pull them further apart, leaving me completely exposed to him in every way. Ever so fucking softly, he flicks his tongue against me over and over. It’s enough to drive me mad, but not enough to release my orgasm that keeps building higher. His fingers slide into me while his tongue works me over, and I can no longer stay still. My hands fly up to reach for him as my hips wiggle for his touch.
He pulls away from me. “Do I need to fucking tie you down, Hope?” His eyes darken as they lock on mine. “Stop wiggling that pretty ass and hold the fuck still.” He lowers himself back down. Using his thumbs, he spreads my folds while his hands cup my thighs. He sucks my sensitive nub into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it violently.
I’m moaning and shaking from trying to listen to his demands. My release is at its peak and just as it is about to wash over me, he pulls away, nipping my thigh with his teeth. My hand automatically rushes to my drenched folds, needing to push myself over the edge just a little, but before I even rub against it, his hand catches my wrist.
“I warned you.” Suddenly, he’s leaning over me, grabbing a blue nylon rope from the floorboard. “I just bought this to use on a fishing trip, but I think this is a much better use,” he says while tying the rope around my wrists. He ties the opposite end around the steering wheel. When he’s satisfied with his work, he presses a hard kiss to my lips. “That should hold you.” His teeth graze my bottom lip as they travel down my neck.
Wrapped in Hope: A Forbidden Romance (The Hope Series Book 1) Page 16