Facing Up To Fatherhood

by Miranda Lee

  This last piece of information had upset Tina as well. If only she’d known, she’d have been on the first plane back to Sydney.

  ‘You’ve been staying here?’ Dominic asked at last, his expression almost disbelieving.

  ‘Yes,’ she replied defensively. Where else? ‘They’re my two suitcases against the wall.’ Still with her things in them. She hadn’t wanted to unpack. She hadn’t planned on staying too long.

  ‘Then don’t go trying to bluff me about having money,’ he snapped. ‘Come on, collect what you need so we can get the hell out of here. I’ve seen some depressing places in my life but this wins hands down. Believe me when I tell you if Sarah had come to me and told me she was pregnant, she and her baby wouldn’t have had to live like this!’

  Tina stared at him as the most bewildering confusion claimed her. For he sounded so sincere. And genuinely upset.

  ‘She really didn’t come to see you?’ she found herself asking.

  ‘No,’ he said, and looked her straight in the eye without wavering. ‘The morning after she stopped working for me was the last time I saw Sarah. I never even ran into her in the lift after that. To be brutally honest, I didn’t even realise she’d left the company.’

  ‘But why would she say she’d been to see you if she hadn’t?’

  ‘I have no idea. Who was it who told you that?’

  ‘The old lady who lives in the next bedsit.’

  ‘What’s her name?’

  ‘What? Oh…er…Betty. I don’t know her second name.’

  ‘I see. Well, maybe Sarah told her she was coming to see me, but then changed her mind. Maybe when this Betty asked her what happened, she made up a little white lie out of embarrassment. I don’t think we’ll ever know what really happened, or what was going through her mind at the time.’

  ‘I guess not,’ Tina said wearily, and sat down on the edge of the bed. The mattress sagged, as did her shoulders. ‘What does it matter now, anyway?’

  ‘It matters to me when people call me a liar,’ Dominic ground out. ‘I’m no saint, Tina, but I’m not an unconscionable bastard, either.’

  She winced at her words, well aware the insult had been flung more out of shame than genuine belief in his total wickedness. It was she who’d felt wicked at the time. Wicked and way, way out of control.

  She glanced up at him, and tried to be fair.

  Because let’s face it, Tina, her conscience demanded, you haven’t been fair to him all day. Before you even met the man you were right and ready to accuse. And not to listen. You played the avenging angel role to a T, and gave Sarah saintly qualities which she didn’t have.

  The truth was Sarah had used to lie quite a bit, whenever she’d thought the truth might get her into trouble, or into an argument. Sarah had hated to confront, or be confronted. She’d always taken the line of least resistance.

  ‘I…I’m sorry I said that,’ she muttered.

  ‘And I’m sorry I said you let Sarah down,’ he returned, more gently than she deserved. ‘From what I’ve seen, she couldn’t have asked for a better friend. Or a better mother for her baby.’

  ‘Oh,’ Tina choked out, her chin wobbling while tears filled her eyes.

  ‘You vowed you’d never cry in front of me again!’ he warned sharply.

  ‘I…I can’t help it,’ she sobbed, her hands flying up to cover her face as the tears spilled over.

  Dominic stared at her in horror.

  Why me? he agonised.

  He grimaced at the sight of her shaking shoulders, then groaned at the sounds of her heartfelt sobs, torn by his natural male urge to offer comfort to a weeping woman, yet worried sick over what might overtake him once he touched her.

  Look what had happened the last time he’d gathered a crying female in his arms! And Sarah hadn’t even been his type!

  Tina, however, was very definitely his type.

  And how!

  He was standing there at a safe distance when the thought occurred to him that he was worrying for nothing, because he wasn’t Tina’s type!

  There really was little danger of anything untoward happening when the woman in your arms couldn’t stand a bar of you.

  That apology of hers just now had been nothing but a grudging concession. She still believed he was a liar and a heartless seducer.

  Reassured, Dominic walked over and sat down on the narrow bed beside her, sending the ancient mattress into a dangerous dip which instantly propelled Tina hard against his side.

  ‘Oh!’ she gasped, her hands flying away from her face in panic.

  ‘It’s all right,’ he said gruffly, and curved an arm around her shoulders.

  But it wasn’t all right. Everything was all wrong.

  The way she was looking at him for starters, her eyes wide and lustrous. The way her face remained upturned, with her lips invitingly parted. The way her hands fluttered against his chest then remained there, faintly trembling.

  Dominic gave her a chance. He really did. She could have wrenched away from him, could have stopped him at any point during the time it took for his free hand to lift and capture that quivering chin with his fingers.

  But she didn’t struggle, or stop him. She just stared up into his eyes, her lips gasping even further apart when his mouth began to descend.

  Tina knew he was going to kiss her. She knew, but she did nothing, said nothing.

  She let his lips cover hers without protest. Let his tongue slide deep into her mouth. Let his hand slide down her neck and over one of her treacherously throbbing breasts.

  This is madness, was her last coherent thought, before a wild explosion of desire blew her brain apart, skittering all common sense and evoking in its place the most urgent need. Her arms slid up around his neck and she was pulling him down, down onto the bed with her.

  Dominic had little time to feel shock at her wild response. If his mind momentarily questioned her unexpected passion, his body didn’t. His own arousal soared, tipping him over that edge on which he’d balanced precariously all evening.

  Tina moaned when he stopped kissing her to lift her up onto the pillow. She moaned again when he pushed her legs apart and fell upon her once more, his mouth crashing back down on hers, his hard, heavy body pressing her deep into the mattress.

  She felt as if she was drowning, with no air for her lungs. Her head was spinning wildly. But she didn’t care. What a delicious death, she thought, and wrapped her arms even tighter around his neck.

  He twisted slightly to one side, but this time he didn’t stop the kissing. She felt his hand on her body, as hot and hungry as his mouth as it stroked roughly down her chest before scooping up underneath her top to where her braless breasts were waiting for him, aching and tense. Everything inside her contracted when his hands grazed over her exquisitely erect nipples, a moan of raw pleasure echoing deep in her throat.

  Men had touched her breasts before, but never like this, never with such a wild, uncontrollable ardour. There was no finesse in his questing fingers, just naked animal passion as he squeezed the sensitive peaks over and over and left them aching for more.

  When his mouth wrenched away and his hand slid down from her breasts, she cried out with dismay. No, don’t stop, don’t stop, came the almost despairing but silent plea.

  But he wasn’t stopping.

  She watched, eyes wide and lungs heaving, as he pushed up her top and slid down to put his mouth where his hands had been.

  His tongue and teeth were as merciless as his fingers, laving and nipping at her nipples till they felt like pokers hot from a fire. She couldn’t get enough, arching her back and pressing them up into his face for more. She even liked it when he rubbed his stubbly chin over their burning peaks, gasping as spears of the most delicious sensation darted all through her body.

  Her eyes squeezed shut, perhaps in denial of the dizzying pleasure of it all. But Tina found no safe haven in the darkness. If anything, being unable to see what he was doing enhanced the experience, sharpeni
ng her awareness of her body and its responses. Her breasts had never felt so swollen, or so exquisitely sensitive. Her body had never felt so restless, so craving.

  His abrupt abandonment of her needy, greedy flesh sent her eyes flying open.

  He was kneeling back on his haunches between her outstretched legs, his dark head bent over, his hands reaching for the button at her waistband. Somewhat dazedly, she stared down at the sight she made lying there, semi-naked, her top bunched up around her neck, her breasts bare, her nipples still wet and tingling.

  Dominic started peeling the tight stretch pants down from her hips, taking her G-string with them, bending to kiss her quivering stomach as he did so.

  Groaning, she twisted her head to one side, and might have closed her eyes again, ready to wallow in whatever he did to her, when her dilated gaze encountered the small photograph of Sarah and Bonnie on the dressing table.

  The erotic haze which had been enslaving Tina so totally immediately lifted. If someone had thrown a bucket of iced water on her, the effect could not have been more dramatic.

  Instant coldness where a moment before there had been the most blistering heat. A crippling dismay in place of that incredible desire.

  ‘Oh, God…no!’ she cried out, and sat bolt-upright, pushing him back off the bed with an adrenaline-induced burst of strength. He staggered to his feet, then just stood there, staring at her while she frantically pulled down her top, then started yanking up the tight white pants. It was difficult, but she managed. Finally, she swung her feet over the side of the bed and might have bolted for the door, but she started shaking. So she just sat there, hugging herself as great tremors raced all through her.

  When Dominic went to sit down beside her, she froze him with her eyes.

  ‘Don’t you d…dare come near me,’ she warned, her teeth still chattering. ‘Or t…t…touch me ever again.’

  ‘Tina, for pity’s sake! Be fair. You wanted me to. You know you did.’

  She shook her head violently. ‘No, I d…d…didn’t. I didn’t want you to. You’re the last man on earth I’d want making love to me. I hate and d…despise you.’

  ‘But why? I thought you believed me about Sarah now.’

  Tina gritted her teeth, using every ounce of will she possessed to stop shaking and face this man. ‘You still used and abused her,’ she bit out. ‘You didn’t love her but you made love to her anyway. Then, when she stopped working for you, you just moved on to that…that Shani person. I wonder if she knows the sort of man she’s tangled up with. A cold-blooded sex machine, that’s what you are. Oh, you know the right moves all right. And you certainly know when to strike: when a girl is at her lowest emotionally, tired and vulnerable and sick at heart. That’s when you move in for the kill, isn’t it? You…you…callous, unfeeling pig!’

  Her tirade over, Tina buried her face in her hands and dissolved into distressed tears.

  Dominic had never felt worse in his whole life.

  Physically and emotionally.

  The fiercest frustration raged, along with remorse and guilt and, yes, confusion.

  In one way he was glad she’d stopped him. Because he would not have been able to stop himself. He would have continued on. Without any thought of the consequences. Without a condom.

  Such a reality was as alien to him as it was bewildering. What was it about this woman which made him lose all control and common sense? Was it just a matter of a unique chemistry, or could something else be at work here, that age-old emotional trap which made fools of men and which Dominic had sworn never to fall victim to?

  He shook his head in denial of this last possibility. Surely falling in love took longer than this!

  Still, as he stared at the wretched figure hunched on the bed a huge wave of tenderness flooded through him. He just had to go to her. Had to make things right. Had to.

  He knelt down at her knees and took her hands in his, holding them tight even while she tried to wrench them away.

  ‘No, you must listen to me,’ he said firmly. ‘You’ve had your say. Now let me have mine.’

  She glared at him with daggers in her tear-filled eyes.

  ‘I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t really want it, either, or plan it. But the truth is I’ve been attracted to you since I first set eyes on you in my office.

  ‘Yes, it’s true,’ he insisted when he saw the disbelief in her eyes. ‘I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I’ve always been attracted to slender, dark-eyed brunettes. Then, when I came home and found you there, my brain and body started a war which has been going on ever since. I was as angry with you as you were with me. Because I hadn’t done what you accused me of. But at the same time I kept wanting to pull you in my arms and make mad, passionate love to you. To be brutally honest, I had an erection all through dinner.’

  Her dark eyes rounded and her lips fell tantalisingly apart. It took all of his will-power not to close the relatively short distance between their mouths once more.

  He suspected he could seduce her even now, if he were ruthless enough. But Dominic didn’t want that. He wanted more from this woman than just her body. He wanted her respect as well.

  And she didn’t respect him at the moment. Not one iota.

  ‘I think you’re attracted to me too,’ he added, and waited for her to deny it.

  She didn’t, and his heart began to beat faster, his mind already racing to the time when he would have her again under him on a bed. He would not let her stop him the next time. He would use every erotic skill he’d ever learned to keep her there till they were both satisfied. Not once, but over and over!

  It’s just lust, he realised abruptly with a great whoosh of relief. Hell, for a moment there…

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with us being friends, is there?’ he suggested reasonably. ‘If it turns out I’m Bonnie’s father, then surely it would be best all round if we got on well.’

  ‘You’re…you’re admitting you could be Bonnie’s father?’

  ‘It’s possible, I suppose,’ he said, though privately Dominic brushed aside this slim possibility as not worth worrying about, certainly not till the test results came back. He saw little point in facing a problem till it really existed. Still, if admitting he might be Bonnie’s father would get him into Tina’s good books…

  ‘What about the mystery boyfriend?’ she said, wariness in her voice. ‘Or are you admitting he doesn’t exist?’

  ‘He exists all right. I intend to find him myself.’

  ‘Best look in the mirror, then.’ She extricated her hands from his and gave him a cold look. ‘As for our being…friends,’ she scoffed. ‘I can’t see that happening. Now that I know what I’m dealing with I’ll be on guard, believe me.’

  Dominic stood up and did his best to keep reasonably calm in the face of her ongoing scorn. It was one step forward and three steps backwards with this woman. ‘What do you mean…what you’re dealing with?’

  ‘You know exactly what I mean,’ she snapped. ‘You’re a predator, Dominic. A taker. You think you can have any woman you want. I’m sure there are countless scores on your gun. But don’t mark a notch for me, because I’m not like Sarah or Shani or any of the other poor creatures you’ve used and discarded. I might have seemed like one tonight, but everyone’s entitled to one error in judgement. I underestimated you, and I overestimated myself. I didn’t realise I could be got at that way. Now I know differently.’

  ‘I don’t believe this!’ He spun away and began to pace agitatedly around the room. She was doing it to him again, making him feel a heel when he’d bent over backwards to be reasonable. Hell, anyone would think that wanting to make love with a woman was a capital offence!

  Her glance was scathing as she stood up. ‘I’m sure after you’ve visited your Shani later tonight you’ll feel much better. After all, one slender, dark-eyed brunette is pretty much like another to a man like you!’

  Her sarcasm stung him to the quick, bringing an angry flush to his face. ‘
I’ll have you know that Shani is a very intelligent woman, with a mind of her own. I do not use her, any more than she uses me.’

  ‘How nice. Then you’re well suited, aren’t you?’

  ‘Too right.’

  ‘Then leave me alone in future.’

  ‘Don’t worry. I will!’

  CHAPTER NINE

  IT WAS just on eleven when Shani let a still fuming Dominic into her apartment. Normally Dominic wouldn’t have got past the small foyer before the sex started. This time he stalked past Shani and went straight for the cabinet in the living room where she kept her hard liquor and clean glasses.

  ‘Bad day, darling?’ she drawled as he slopped some Scotch into a glass.

  He grunted, then quaffed back the lot.

  She came up behind him and slid her hands over his already tense shoulders in a seductive fashion. His fingers stiffened around the glass as her hands slid down his arms then snaked around his waist before travelling lower.

  ‘Mmm,’ she said with salacious pleasure.

  Confusion crashed through him as his conscience screamed at him not to do this. This is all wrong! It’s Tina you’re wanting. Not Shani.

  But Tina despises you, the devil tempted. You’ll never have her in your bed. Never! You can’t walk around like this for ever. You’ll go insane. And it’s not as though Shani minds.

  With a tortured groan he whirled, scooped her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom. Five minutes later, a stunned Shani was pulling the sheet up over her unsated nakedness and staring at the brooding figure standing at her bedroom window.

  ‘What’s on earth’s wrong, Dominic?’ she asked. ‘You wanted me. I know you did.’

  He turned to stare at her, at her still avid eyes, and thought of other dark eyes, eyes which flashed scornfully when they clashed with his, eyes which he would give anything to have look at him as Shani’s were at that moment.