Facing Up To Fatherhood

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Facing Up To Fatherhood Page 10

by Miranda Lee


  She drew closer and listened, her eyes widening as she heard the content of that story. Not The Three Bears. Or Red Riding-Hood. Or Jack and the Beanstalk. He was telling Bonnie all about stocks and shares!

  Amazed, Tina peeped in through the gap in the doorway and blinked at the scene before her eyes. Dominic was sitting back against the bedhead with his knees bent and Bonnie lying against his silk-encased thighs. He was holding both her hands out wide and regaling her with what signs to look for in a bull market, as opposed to a bear market.

  Bonnie was staring up at him as though he were one of the gods on Mount Olympus.

  Exasperation battled with the sudden awful temptation to be charmed by the scene.

  Exasperation won. How like Sarah’s daughter to be so easily captivated by a man!

  Letting out an irritable sigh, Tina pushed open the door and stalked in, halting by the bed to glare down at him. Dominic simply ignored her while he finished educating his daughter about the various stockmarket crashes over the years.

  Fury sent an impatient hand to her hip and a combative glint to her eyes.

  ‘The smarties always read the signs and get out before the rot sets in,’ Dominic was advising. ‘I’d tell you all those signs in detail, but your mummy’s here with your bottle. We’ll have to leave the rest of this till later, sweetie.’

  Dominic’s calling her ‘mummy’ and Bonnie ‘sweetie’ like that caused Tina’s stomach to curl over and her heart to go to mush. As did the sight of him very gently scooping Bonnie up from his thighs and placing her so carefully in the crook of his left arm. ‘I’ll feed her if you like,’ he offered, and held out his right hand for the bottle. ‘Give you a break.’

  Tina swallowed, then rather reluctantly gave it to him. As much as it was her dream for Dominic to accept and bond with his child, how could she continue to hate him when face to face with such tenderness?

  She watched him angle the bottle into the baby’s eager mouth, noting the startled pleasure in his face when Bonnie’s tiny hand came up to cover his, as was her habit with anyone who fed her. Tina remembered how she’d felt the first time Bonnie had done it to her, the innocently trusting gesture tugging at her till then hard heart, sparking the beginning of her new and amazing maternal feelings. Was her father feeling something similar? Had the first seed of love just been sown?

  Dominic looked up suddenly, his expression pained. ‘You know, Tina, I would never deny being Bonnie’s father if I thought I really was her father. You must believe me on this.’

  For the first time real doubt seeped in, and Tina felt sick.

  Dominic looked back down at Bonnie but kept on speaking, his voice low and reasoned. ‘I think I know who her father is. I spent a great deal of time over the weekend finding out.’

  ‘You did?’ she echoed faintly.

  He glanced up again. ‘Yes. I told you. I wasn’t with Shani. Good Lord, what does it take to have you believe me for once? Think, woman! What motive could I possibly have to lie? I’ve agreed to have the DNA test tomorrow, but I already know what the result will be. I know you think tonight proves I’m sexually irresponsible, but I swear to you, Tina, that tonight was the first time in twelve years that I’ve had unsafe sex. I’m fanatical about it, usually.’

  Tina was inclined to believe him. About the condom, anyway.

  ‘Tonight was a first for me too,’ she confessed. ‘For unsafe sex, that is.’

  ‘I think tonight was a first for both of us in lots of ways, don’t you?’ he said softly.

  ‘What…what do you mean?’

  ‘I mean it was something very special, Tina. Something unique. I don’t know about you but I know I’ve never felt for another woman what I’ve been feeling since I met you. To be honest, it’s rattled the hell out of me. I like to live an ordered life. I like to be in control. Falling madly in love is not on my agenda. But I’m not one to—’

  ‘It’s not love,’ she broke in firmly, frightened over where this was going. ‘It’s just lust.’

  ‘You sound pretty sure of that.’

  ‘I’m very sure. I’ve been there, done that. Lots of times.’

  He looked taken aback. ‘You’re saying tonight wasn’t anything special for you? That you’ve felt this kind of passion before?’

  ‘It’s always pretty exciting the first time.’

  He just stared at her, and she felt worse than she’d ever felt in her life. Chilled, and ashamed.

  He swung his feet over the side of the bed, stood up, and handed Bonnie back to her. ‘You can finish this. I’m wasting my time here, with both of you.’

  ‘But aren’t you going to tell me what you found out?’ she asked.

  His eyes stabbed disgust at her. ‘What’s the point? I have no real proof of my findings, only hearsay. You already have much more hearsay evidence against me. Not to mention that other mysterious evidence you won’t show me. I only hope that by the time the DNA test comes back my mother isn’t too attached to that sweet little child, because Mum doesn’t deserve to be hurt. She’s endured enough emotional pain in her life. Maybe you should give that some thought when you’re lying in your bed tonight, all alone with your prejudices and your hypocrisies. Oh, and I sure hope you enjoyed your first time with me, honey, because it was your first and last!’

  Scooping up his robe from the floor, he stormed out of the room, banging the door shut behind him so loudly that Bonnie spat out the bottle and started crying.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  DOMINIC muttered into his beard as he clomped down the hallway and into his bedroom, slamming that door for good measure as well. He’d never been a door-slammer till he’d met Miss Tina Ballbreaker Highsmith, but he rather imagined he would get very good at it by the time she left his abode.

  “It’s always pretty exciting the first time,” he mimicked aloud in that dismissive fashion she specialised in, and which set his teeth on edge at the best of times. This time, however, she’d cut him to the quick.

  Okay, so she’d probably had great sex hundreds of times. Well, so had he! But this hadn’t been just great sex. It had been a great experience. A combination of the emotional and the physical. Or it had been for him.

  Clearly she didn’t have enough sensitivity to know the damned difference!

  He paced angrily around the large room, calling her all sorts of uncomplimentary names, working his way through the alphabet. When he came to witch and whore, he couldn’t think of any more and sank down wearily onto the side of the bed.

  No point in trying to sleep, he knew.

  Dominic rose and walked over to turn on the computer he kept at home.

  ‘Might as well work,’ he muttered, and sat down.

  But his mind kept wandering, first back to Tina, then to the bed behind him, then idly around the room.

  It had once been the master bedroom, but after his father had died and he’d come back home to live his mother had insisted he have it. After much argument, he’d agreed.

  Admittedly, it was the only bedroom in the house which had enough space for a small home office, along with other normal bedroom-type furniture. But the thought of sleeping in his parents’ bed had made him cringe at first. He’d overheard far too many arguments over what had transpired there, or not transpired there. He knew personally of one young lady in his father’s employ—a cleaner—whom the master of the house had regularly bonked on the marital mattress.

  Lord knows how many others there had been!

  So, with his mother’s permission, Dominic had donated her old bedroom suite to charity and bought himself a nice large new bed, after which he’d brought in the carpenters.

  Now, one wall carried built-in storage for his clothes and personal effects while another housed a compact home office, the PC linked to the computers at work. His own television and video remained hidden behind a cupboard, the wall of which slid back at the touch of a switch.

  Not that he used them much. But they were there, when needed.

&nb
sp; His mother’s bedroom was now downstairs, in what had once been his father’s study. She rarely had to trudge up and down the stairs these days, which was a lot easier on her varicose veins. Dominic paid for a cleaner to come in every Monday and Friday to do all the heavy housework, along with the laundry. He also paid for the cook, June, who came in most afternoons for a few hours. Money well spent, in his opinion. His mother was the most appalling cook. Other than that, he had a chap pop round once a fortnight to mow the lawns and trim the edges, as well as occasionally dig up a garden bed. His mother did most of the gardening. It was her pride and joy, as well as her hobby.

  Thinking about his mother turned his mind back to what he’d found out this past weekend. Sheer stubbornness now prevented his telling Tina, but he really had to tell his mother. So he went downstairs, poured himself a hefty glass of port and settled in front of the television to await her arrival home.

  He heard her key in the door just as the Sunday night movie’s credits went up, shortly after eleven.

  He stayed where he was, knowing full well she would pop her head in to see who was still up.

  ‘Oh, it’s you,’ she said shortly afterwards, in the sort of tone he might have expected from Tina.

  Clearly he was still not the flavour of the month.

  ‘Yes, it’s me,’ he returned drily from where he remained seated in his favourite armchair. ‘Your loving son.’

  ‘Where’s Tina? I suppose you’ve bullied her into her room with your presence?’

  ‘Yep, that’s me as well,’ he drawled. ‘Bully-boy. Not to mention callous seducer and abandoner of pregnant women. So, yes, Tina has retired, but only after I’d dragged her up there by the hair on her head and had my wicked way with her.’

  His mother sighed. ‘You’ve argued again.’

  He half smiled. If only she knew. ‘You could say that,’ he murmured.

  ‘What about this time?’

  ‘Let’s just say Tina and I couldn’t agree if our lives depended on it.’

  ‘Bonnie’s asleep?’

  ‘I imagine so. Everything’s certainly quiet on the upstairs front.’

  ‘I think I’ll go to bed too, then. I’m tired.’

  ‘Before you do, Mum, there’s something I have to tell you.’

  She hesitated in the doorway, her glance rueful. ‘It’s a little late to confess all, don’t you think? I already know you’re Bonnie’s father.’

  ‘That’s just it, Mum. I’m not. Damien Parsons is. I did some investigating over the weekend and Sarah had been having an affair with him.’

  ‘Oh, Dominic, Dominic,’ Ida said sadly, shaking her head at him. ‘Putting the blame on a dead man is such a shoddy thing to do.’

  Dominic could not believe his ears. What was wrong with these women? ‘But, Mum, Sarah slept with him! I know it for a fact.’

  ‘And she slept with you too, didn’t she? Bonnie is your child, son. Believe me on this.’

  ‘But she doesn’t even look like me.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ she countered impatiently. ‘Of course she does. It’s just that she’s a girl and you’re blind to the resemblances.’

  Dominic rolled his eyes. This was hopeless. He rose from the chair and walked over to his mother, placing a caring hand on her shoulder.

  ‘Mum,’ he said softly, ‘I just don’t want you to get hurt.’

  Her expression was genuinely bewildered. ‘But how can I get hurt? Tina’s a lovely, generous-hearted girl. She wants me to be a part of Bonnie’s life. She wants you to be a part of Bonnie’s life too.’

  ‘Mum, for pity’s sake, will you listen to me?’

  He looked at her imploringly, but could see by her eyes that she’d already clicked off to that subject. ‘You know,’ she said, shaking her head, ‘when I first saw Tina I thought to myself she was just your type of girl. You always did go for feisty females. And most women seem to go for you, though to be honest I’m not sure why. Oh, you’re good-looking enough, I suppose. And you’ve been blessed with a great body. But you don’t go to any trouble to attract them. I guess it was hoping for too much to think you two might hit it off and get married.’

  ‘Married!’ he exclaimed. ‘Good God, has everyone in this house gone insane?’

  ‘Everyone? Who else are you talking about?’

  ‘Me, Mum,’ he muttered, and brushed past her to march back upstairs. ‘Me!’

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  ‘AREN’T you feeling well, Tina?’ Ida asked as they came out of the doctor’s surgery. Dominic had just stalked off in the direction of the car park, Tina sighing with relief at his departure.

  Breakfast had been a nightmare. And so had sitting in the waiting room together till they’d been called in to the surgery.

  Dominic hadn’t said a word all morning, not even during the process of the nurse taking his blood, or Bonnie’s, only afterwards brusquely asking the doctor to see if he could hurry up the pathologist with the results, to which the doctor had said he’d do his best, but he doubted they’d get them in under two weeks. Tina had seen Dominic’s mouth thin at this, and knew he was having as hard a time as she was.

  ‘No, I’m fine,’ she lied to Ida. ‘I’m just a little tense this morning. I was worried Bonnie might get upset at the needle.’

  ‘That’s understandable. But she only cried for a minute. Look,’ she said, nodding down at the pram, ‘she’s gone back to sleep already.’

  ‘Yes. She’s such a good little baby. Such a good little sleeper.’

  ‘You look like you could do with a sleep.’

  ‘Yes,’ she admitted wearily. ‘I didn’t get much last night.’

  ‘And I know why!’ Ida pronounced. ‘Dominic told me.’

  Tina froze, then stared at Dominic’s mother. ‘He told you…what?’ she managed to get out.

  ‘That you’d argued again last night.’

  ‘Oh. Oh, yes. Yes, I’m afraid we did.’

  ‘I can understand how annoyed you must be over that Damien Parsons business.’

  ‘Damien Parsons?’ she echoed blankly.

  ‘The man Dominic is claiming Sarah had an affair with. He was the head accountant for Hunter & Associates. Married, of course. Not that that stopped Damien from sleeping around. He was always a one for the ladies. An extremely good-looking man. And as suave as they come.’

  Tina frowned. He sounded just like the type Sarah would have fallen for. Now why did that name Parsons ring a bell?

  ‘Poor Joanna,’ Ida murmured, and the penny dropped for Tina. Damien Parsons must be married to Joanna Parsons, the woman Ida had put off coming to dinner the other night. Tina gnawed at her bottom lip while she bounced possibilities back and forth in her mind. This Damien’s being a married man could explain Sarah not wanting to reveal his identity and perhaps using Dominic as the perfect patsy when Tina had mercilessly grilled her friend over her new lover.

  Tina frowned, then frowned some more when another thought hit. ‘You said Joanna was a widow, didn’t you?’ she asked Ida.

  ‘Yes, Damien was killed in a car accident earlier this year. His own fault. He’d been drinking and driving. Lost control on a wet road and skidded into a telegraph pole.’

  Tina was mulling all this information over in her head when she suddenly realised something else. Damien’s name began with a D.

  All the blood drained from Tina’s face. Oh, dear God…what have I done?

  ‘But none of this matters, you know,’ Ida was rattling on. ‘I told Dominic straight. Little Bonnie is your child, I said. It’s useless pointing the finger elsewhere. Face up to fatherhood like a man.’

  A clamminess claimed Tina which wasn’t the humidity. ‘I…I think I’d better sit down,’ she said, and sank onto a low cement wall which ran along the side of the pavement.

  ‘Oh, dearie me,’ Ida fussed. ‘You’ve gone as white as a sheet. Look, I think we should get you over to my car and into some air-conditioning. It’s rather hot out here. Here, lean on the p
ram. Then, after we get home, I think you should have a lie-down. I’ll mind Bonnie. We can bring her bassinette downstairs for the day while you get a good sleep. That way, if she cries, she won’t wake you.’

  ‘You’re very kind,’ Tina said weakly, tears awfully close. What was it Dominic had said to her? He didn’t want his mother hurt. She’d been through enough in her life.

  Tina supposed he’d been referring to his mother losing her husband as a relatively young woman, then that married son of hers deserting his wife to become a monk. And now she’d come along and foolishly raised the poor woman’s hopes over the grandchild she’d always wanted.

  Tina felt awful. Simply awful!

  Dominic paced up and down his office.

  He felt awful. Simply awful!

  What a pig he’d been this morning: giving everyone the cold shoulder; acting like a sulky child; clomping out of the surgery without a word even to his mother. No wonder she’d looked at him with such disappointment in her eyes.

  As for Tina. She’d seemed to have had the stuffing knocked out of her this morning. There hadn’t been a hint of the girl who’d bulldozed herself into his life last week, spitting fire and vengeance at him. She’d looked pale and fragile, with dark circles under her eyes and a depressed slump in her normally assertive shoulders.

  It had come to him during the slow drive across the bridge and into the city that maybe she’d been protecting herself last night by adopting that good-time-girl attitude. Maybe she’d been acting a part. She was an actress after all.

  Given her antagonism towards him, their out-of-control, out-of-this-world lovemaking must have come as a shock. The blushing girl who’d agitatedly pulled down her top last Friday night could not possibly be the hard-nosed promiscuous piece she’d portrayed herself as afterwards.

  Maybe she’d bolted out of that bed because she’d been afraid to stay with him. Afraid of what she might say and feel and do.

 

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