Facing Up To Fatherhood

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Facing Up To Fatherhood Page 11

by Miranda Lee


  It hadn’t just been sex for her, Dominic had finally concluded, just as he was reaching the toll gates on the bridge. It had been anything but!

  He’d almost driven right through the gate without paying at that point, braking savagely at the last second. The collector had given him a narrow-eyed glare, and Dominic had wondered if he’d recognised him from his crossing the other night when Tina had been sitting in the passenger seat, weeping.

  This thought had swiftly wiped away any ecstatic joy Dominic had been feeling, an agonised guilt taking over. By the time he’d closed his office door behind him he’d been sweating with the reality he would never be able to make it right with Tina.

  She had every reason to hate him, he accepted now as he paced up and down. He’d been brutal to her from the start. First he’d had her forcibly thrown out of this building. Then he’d accused her of being a con-artist. He’d been rude and hostile and downright difficult.

  To top it all off, when he’d been besieged with what he’d seen as nothing more than an inconvenient lust, he’d taken advantage of her when she’d been vulnerable and upset. Then, last night, once he’d realised the chemistry was mutual, he’d really gone for the jugular, making love to her like a man possessed, without even protecting her.

  No wonder she’d been desperate to protect herself afterwards, to keep him at a safe distance. She had to have been shell-shocked.

  And now she was lost to him. Hell, in two weeks’ time, she would be irretrievably lost to him. The DNA test would come back and she would be gone from his life. For ever.

  Unless…

  Dominic sat down at his desk and put his mind to coming up with a plan of action.

  Once he did, the ruthless daring of his idea took his breath away. But he only had two weeks at best, and he couldn’t let her go, could he? Not now that he’d found the woman his mother had always said he’d one day meet, not now he’d actually fallen in love!

  Tina tossed and turned on top of the bed. She could not sleep. It was useless. Her mind went round and round. As tired as she was, she simply could not lie there and do nothing. She had to go to Dominic; to talk to him; apologise; explain.

  She knew he must hate her now, but she wasn’t thinking of herself so much but his mother, and Bonnie.

  A sob caught in her throat. Poor little Bonnie. No father to love her. And probably no grandparents, either. Even if this Damien’s parents were alive, would they accept the child of their dead son’s bit on the side? Tina doubted it. Besides, what right had she to upset them further in their grief, spoiling their son’s reputation and their memory of him?

  And what of Ida’s friend, Joanna, Damien’s widow? Did she deserve to have someone come along and claim her husband had an illegitimate child?

  Tina could not imagine any woman wanting to know about her dead husband’s baby by another woman.

  No, Tina decided. She could not do it, could not barge into another family’s life and cause the havoc she’d caused here. She no longer had the stomach for it. Or the will.

  Which meant she would have to raise Bonnie all by herself, with no financial or emotional help.

  Tina swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, squaring her shoulders. She could do it. She could do anything.

  But first she had to go and see Dominic and try to put things right.

  Dominic was making a list of how he could get around the problem of the DNA results when the telephone rang. He lifted the receiver and said, ‘Yes, Doris,’ just as he printed, ‘IF ALL ELSE FAILS, BRIBE THE PATHOLOGIST’ against tactic number three.

  Number one was to win Tina’s love and trust so he could happily ring the doctor and cancel the test altogether. Number two was to instruct the doctor to send the results to him first, where he would feed the page—or pages—into his computer, change the results and print out a new report.

  ‘I have a young lady here who wants to see you, Mr Hunter,’ Doris whispered in a conspiratorial voice. ‘It’s her.’

  ‘Her?’

  ‘The same one as last Friday. The one with the baby. Only this time the baby’s not with her. Do you want me to call Security to throw her out again?’

  Dominic dropped his pen. ‘Good grief, no, Doris. Don’t do that!’

  ‘But, Mr Hunter, on Friday you said I was to call Security if she so much as walked past the door!’

  He shook his head. Was it only Friday when that had happened? Only three days ago?

  It felt like a lifetime!

  ‘I made a mistake, Doris. She’s not who I thought she was. And that gorgeous baby is mine, as it turns out. I’ll be right out.’

  Tina watched the secretary’s eyes grow round, then stare up at her.

  Tina groaned. ‘He’s not going to have me thrown out again, is he?’ The woman had cupped the phone so that Tina couldn’t hear what had been said, though the word ‘security’ had filtered through.

  Dominic’s secretary was still sitting there, her mouth open, the phone clutched in her hand, when the man himself reefed open the door leading into his office and just stood there, staring at her as well.

  She stared back, perhaps really seeing him for the first time, without those bitter blinkers she’d been wearing. Once again, she was forcibly struck by how different he was from any man Sarah had ever been involved with.

  This time, however, Tina saw more than his macho physique. She saw the strength of character in his face, and the capacity for softness in his eyes.

  He wasn’t the stuff suave, cold-blooded seducers were made of.

  In addition to having no capacity for softness, suave, cold-blooded seducers always paid attention to their appearance. Vanity was one of their many flaws.

  Tina liked the fact that the navy single-breasted suit Dominic was wearing that morning was obviously off the peg; that his blue shirt wasn’t lawn, or silk, or hand-made; that his tie was so out of date that any other man would have long donated it to charity.

  She also liked it that he was passionate about his work, and caring of his mother, and careful now with his choice of secretary.

  She liked more about Dominic Hunter’s personality than she’d ever realised. And she liked Dominic Hunter, the sexy virile man, even more.

  ‘I…I had to see you,’ she blurted out, and brushed past him into his office.

  She made it to his desk, where she leant on her handbag, quivering inside. She heard him quietly shut the door, then make a slow, thoughtful progress across the thick blue carpet. When he came into view, she noted he was still staring at her, his intense gaze betraying a degree of curiosity in her appearance.

  She’d put her hair up and changed clothes since their appointment at the surgery, the escalating heat demanding something cooler than jeans and T-shirt. So she’d showered and put on a shift dress, light and flowery, with no sleeves, a deep round neck and a hem just above the knees. Although she’d left her legs bare, it wasn’t really a provocative outfit, but it was feminine and fresh.

  With Dominic’s eyes on her in it, Tina felt very feminine, and totally flustered.

  Hard to concentrate on abject apologies when every nerve-ending you owned was on instant sexual alert, when every female part in your body began tingling with an exquisitely sharp awareness.

  He sat down in the big black chair behind the desk, still staring up at her.

  Start saying something, she urged herself, before you make a total mess of this.

  ‘I…I came to apologise,’ she began, not wanting to keep looking at him but compelled by the way he was looking at her. As if he was mesmerised.

  He leant forward at her opening words, his blue eyes glittering with a mixture of surprise and anticipation.

  ‘I’ve been so wrong,’ she blathered on. ‘About you. I…I can see that now. After you left to go to work this morning, your mother told me about Damien Parsons, about the man he is…or was, I mean. I saw straight away he was just the kind of creep Sarah was always getting tangled up with. You’re
not Sarah’s type at all. But…but the crunch really came when I realised his name began with a D.’

  Dominic leant back in his chair, startled and puzzled. ‘A D?’

  ‘Yes.’ Hurriedly she opened the bag she’d been leaning on and pulled out a pile of florist’s cards. ‘I found these amongst Sarah’s bits and pieces. They all say the same sort of thing. Love notes. They were all signed ‘D’.’

  ‘Which you thought stood for Dominic,’ he said, glancing at a couple of them. ‘So you believed I sent these, along with flowers?’

  ‘Yes…’ Her voice was small. Shaky.

  He looked up and their eyes met. Tears filled her.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Dominic,’ she cried. ‘I jumped to conclusions which I shouldn’t have. And I refused to listen to a word you said. You were right when you said Sarah must have lied about you. And you were right when you called me prejudiced. I was. I accept now that you’re not Bonnie’s father. Damien Parsons is. But the damage has been done, hasn’t it? I’ve hurt you, and now I’ve hurt your mother. Your dear, dear mother.’

  More tears flooded her eyes, and she was having the devil of a time blinking them away. But she was determined not to burst into hysterical weeping. What good would that do?

  ‘I can’t tell you how dreadful I feel, Dominic. I hate myself more than you do, believe me, but I…I don’t know what to do for the best. I don’t want to hurt any more people, least of all that man’s widow and family. Do…do you happen to know if this Damien’s parents are still alive?’

  ‘No, they’re not,’ he said.

  Tina sighed. ‘I’m relieved. It would have been difficult not to give Bonnie the chance to know them, but I didn’t want to upset them. I was also afraid they wouldn’t want to know her. And I wouldn’t have liked that.’

  Dominic smiled a wry smile. ‘No. I can imagine.’

  ‘What about his widow? I suppose she wouldn’t want to know Bonnie, either.’

  ‘I doubt it,’ he said drily. ‘Look, Tina, I can’t have you go on any further under these misconceptions of yours.’

  She blinked her bewilderment. ‘Misconceptions? What misconceptions?’

  ‘Firstly, I do not hate you. Far from it.’

  ‘Oh,’ she said, and quivered helplessly.

  ‘Secondly, and perhaps more important, is your misconception that Damien Parsons is Bonnie’s father.’

  ‘But…but…you said. I mean…’

  ‘He and Sarah had an affair all right. That part’s correct. Sarah probably thought he was the father. I’m convinced she went to him and told him of her pregnancy. I know for a fact she never mentioned my name personally to that neighbour of hers. I went back to that house in Lewisham yesterday and checked with that old lady. Betty. Sarah only said she’d been to see the father of her baby, her ex-boss. She didn’t name names.’

  Tina was none the wiser so far. Dominic seemed to have proved even more conclusively that Damien was the father. ‘So?’ she probed, still puzzled.

  ‘I believe when Damien denied being responsible and gave Sarah that money for a termination, he might not have explained the real reason why he couldn’t be Bonnie’s father. Maybe he simply let Sarah think he thought she was a slut and slept around. Maybe he wanted to keep the truth a secret.’

  ‘The truth?’

  ‘Damien had a vasectomy some years earlier because he didn’t want children. He couldn’t father any child, Tina, not even his own.’

  Tina could not have been more shocked. ‘When…when did you find this out?’

  ‘Only this morning.’

  ‘Who from?’

  ‘I…can’t tell you that. This is all very confidential information, Tina.’

  ‘His poor wife. Did she know, do you think?’

  ‘Don’t waste any sympathy on Joanna Parsons,’ he said sharply. ‘She slept around as much as Damien. They had one of those…modern…marriages.’

  Tina could not help grimacing with distaste.

  ‘Quite,’ Dominic drawled.

  Tina noted his disgusted tone. Dominic really was extremely old-fashioned in some ways. One partner after another was fine by him when single, but marriage meant loyalty and commitment to one person only. Perhaps he’d always shied away from getting married because he didn’t feel up to loving only the one woman for the rest of his life.

  Which at least was honest.

  Better he stay single than end up in a divorce court. Divorce was so hard on children, and…

  ‘Oh!’ she cried, her eyes flying to his. ‘I just realised. If Damien’s not Bonnie’s father, then that just leaves…’

  ‘Yes,’ he finished for her, an odd smile curving his mouth. ‘That just leaves yours truly.’

  ‘But…but…why are you smiling like that? Aren’t you upset? I know you don’t want Bonnie.’

  ‘Who says so?’

  He actually sounded indignant!

  ‘Why…you did!’ Tina told him.

  ‘That was just anger and shock talking,’ he pronounced, waving his hand dismissively. ‘I resented being accused of something I hadn’t done, namely seducing Sarah then abandoning her, pregnant and practically destitute. I would never do something like that, Tina. Never!’ he repeated forcibly.

  ‘I know that now,’ she said in chastened tones whilst inside her heart was singing. Dominic was Bonnie’s father. Everything was going to be all right. Ida would not be devastated. Bonnie would have a good father. And she…well, she would survive, as long as she could see him sometimes. Who knew? Maybe she’d stop panting after him one day. Maybe they would end up good friends.

  He stood up and began to pace up and down in front of the large window behind the desk, his hands linked behind his back, his expression serious. ‘I’m not a man afraid to face up to his responsibilities,’ he pronounced while he paced. ‘Now that I’ve got used to the idea of having a child, I find I rather like it. Bonnie’s a beautiful baby. And smart too. Anyone can see that. I have two good women eager to help me bring my daughter up,’ he said, stopping to flash her a grateful smile. ‘What more could a man want?’

  ‘This…this is just too good to be true!’ Tina exclaimed, and Dominic actually looked a little embarrassed for a moment. But only for a moment.

  His eyes took on a different look altogether as he walked towards her. They narrowed and glinted with an intensity which sent another quiver all through her.

  ‘And then, of course,’ he said softly as he curved his large strong hands over her slight, slender shoulders, ‘there is the added bonus of my daughter’s guardian sending me into a sexual spin the like of which I have never known.’ His fingers tightened and he drew her against him. ‘She’s doing it to me now,’ he rasped. ‘Looking at me with those big, dark, sexy eyes of hers, telling me of what she wants me to do, forcing me to obey their silent commands…’ And his mouth began to descend.

  Tina’s lips parted, about to protest her innocence of such desires. But no protest came, unless one counted the small moan which escaped when their mouths met.

  It was a kiss of the most passionate persuasion, his hands capturing her face and allowing her no room for anything but to return his passion, to drown in it, then go with it, riding the rapids of desire, racing on and on down the raging river of desire till its unstoppable force spilled into the ocean, its power finally spent and becalmed.

  And so it was with Dominic and Tina that day.

  Less than five minutes later, Tina came through the storm to find herself sitting on the edge of Dominic’s desk, her legs still entwined round his hips, her mouth slowly disengaging from his, her breathing raw and ragged.

  Dazed, she let her arms slip away from where they’d been snaked around his neck, falling limply onto the shiny black surface on either side of her. She might have collapsed backwards if she hadn’t grabbed at the edge of the desk. At the same time her leaden legs slipped downwards. When he withdrew, she let out a shuddering sigh, which sounded more like a groan.

  His eyes sea
rched hers while he attended to his clothes. Tina winced slightly at the sound of the zipper.

  ‘You all right?’ he asked with some concern in his voice.

  ‘I…I don’t know,’ she returned shakily.

  But she knew what he meant. Dominic had been less than gentle when he’d hoisted her up onto the desk, ripping off her pants before plunging into her, swift and savage in his passion.

  Not that she blamed him for losing it. She’d been the one to free him from his trousers whilst he’d kissed her. She’d been the one to be utterly shameless, touching him like that.

  Tina could only shake her head at herself in utter amazement, her eyes dropping in part embarrassment, part confusion. Was this the same girl who’d thought sex was boring and overrated, who’d previously felt nothing but disgust for females who were easy and fast?

  No one could have been easier and faster than she had just been!

  Tina would have liked to call what they’d just done lovemaking, but somehow she didn’t think love ever came into the equation where Dominic and sex were concerned.

  Still…she couldn’t deny it had been incredibly exciting. Her eyelashes fluttered as she looked up at him, an ambivalent heat claiming her cheeks. Was she feeling shame, or more excitement?

  Surely she couldn’t possibly want more.

  ‘Come on,’ Dominic murmured, and gently lifted her down off the desk. ‘The washroom’s over there,’ he directed, nodding towards a side door as he took a large lock of errant hair and tucked it behind her ear. ‘I’ll call you a taxi while you…um…repair any damage. Time you went home. You look like you could do with a sleep. We’ll get back to this later tonight, when good little babies are fast asleep.’

  Tina sucked in a startled gasp and he smiled the slowest, sexiest smile. ‘You didn’t think I was going to let it go at that, did you, Tina? We’ve had two quickies so far, both of which were fantastic but which really only whet the appetite for more. I want an opportunity to make love properly for once, at our leisure. You want that too, don’t you?’

 

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