Kaleidoscope

by Danielle Steel

  The kaleidoscope had taken yet another turn and produced a totally different image … this time the demons had been turned into snow-covered mountains.

  He agreed to come to Kentucky the following Saturday afternoon, and would meet her at the hospital during her free time there. He thanked her for spending it with him, and he confirmed the date for the meeting with her sisters. They set it for September first, and he called Arthur as soon as he hung up. And the following morning he called Alexandra on the Riviera. They had a terrible connection, but eventually the line cleared and she could hear him.

  “Already?” She sounded excited. “You've found them both?” It was amazing. “Where was Megan?”

  He smiled at her gentle voice. She already spoke of her like a sister she had never lost, who had merely been gone on a long vacation. “She's a doctor in Kentucky.”

  “Oh my God. And Hilary's all right?”

  “Yes. I've seen her.”

  “Has she agreed to come on the first?” She held her breath waiting for the answer, and her hopes were dashed as soon as John told her he hadn't called her.

  “I don't want to give her too much time to think about it. I'll give her a call in a week or so.”

  “What if she goes away?” Alexandra was worried.

  “Don't worry. I'll find her.” They both laughed and a moment later they hung up, and Alexandra hurriedly called her mother. She was staying at Cap d'Antibes, at the Hotel du Cap where she always stayed. And Henri had finally relented on her exile.

  “Maman?”

  “Yes, darling, is something wrong?”

  Alexandra sounded breathless, and suddenly very young, like one of her own daughters.

  “He's found them both.”

  “Both what?” She had just gotten up and was drinking her coffee and reading the Herald Tribune. She couldn't imagine what Alexandra might have lost that someone else might have found. “What on earth are you talking about?”

  “My sisters! Chapman found them both!” She sounded ecstatic and Margaret's blood suddenly ran cold. She had somehow hoped that he wouldn't find them.

  “How nice.” She tried to force herself to sound happy. “Are they well?”

  “One of them is a doctor, the younger one, and the other one, Hilary, works for a television network in New York.”

  “They sound like quite an illustrious group. And you're a baroness. They ought to make a movie about you.” But she was not amused, and Alexandra knew it.

  “Don't worry, Maman. It's not going to change anything. Please know that.”

  Margaret wished she could be sure of that. Her fears were not so different from those of Rebecca Abrams. “When are you meeting them?”

  “On the first of September. I just got the call. I'm going to Connecticut.”

  “What are you going to tell Henri?”

  “I haven't figured that out yet. I thought maybe I'd tell him I was going with you … or perhaps on business for you.”

  “He won't believe that.”

  “No. But I can hardly tell him the truth. I'll think of something.” They talked for a moment longer and then hung up, and five minutes later Margaret called her back, and her first words stunned Alexandra.

  “I'm going with you.”

  “What? … Maman … you can't….”

  “Why not?” She had made up her mind, and thought it an excellent idea, aside from providing Alexandra with the alibi that she needed. Besides, that way she could keep an eye on things, and stay close to Alexandra. She was desperately afraid of that meeting.

  “It's such a lot of trouble for you. You weren't even going back to Paris until the end of September. You told me you were going to Rome for a few weeks.”

  “So? I can go to Rome in October. Or on the way back from New York. All I wanted to do was visit Marisa”—one of her oldest friends—“and buy some decent shoes. But I'd much rather go to New York with you,” and then, almost shyly, “… if you'll have me.”

  “Oh Mother …” Tears sprang to her eyes as she thought of it. She sensed how frightened Margaret was, but she didn't need to be. No one, no blood relative, no husband, no friend, could ever replace her. “Of course I'd love you to come. It just seems like such an imposition.”

  “Don't be ridiculous. I'd be a nervous wreck if I stayed here.” And then she had a totally crazy idea, but she liked it. “Shall we take Axelle and Marie-Louise?” Alexandra's face lit up at the thought. She didn't like just leaving them at the end of the summer, even for only a few days. And Henri couldn't possibly object to a family trip like that.

  “That's a wonderful idea. The three of you can stay in New York while I go to Connecticut, and then we can all have a little fun before we go back to Paris. The girls don't start school until the eleventh.”

  “Marvelous, I'll call the Pierre and make the reservations today. You call the airlines. What day will we arrive?”

  “Friday is the first … maybe we should fly on Thursday, the thirty-first of August.”

  “Perfect. I'll make reservations for ten days. We can always change them if you want to come back sooner.”

  “Maman …” There was a lump in her throat the size of a fist as she thought of the only mother she had ever known. “I love you.”

  “Everything's going to be fine, darling. Just fine.” And for the first time since John Chapman had appeared at the rue de Varenne, she really thought so.

  Alexandra didn't say anything to Henri for another week. And then she mentioned it casually to him one afternoon as they lay on the terrace.

  “My mother wants me to go to New York with her, at the end of the summer.” She said it easily but he looked up at her angrily. He was still angry at her for her supposed transgression before they'd left Paris. They had never discussed it again, but she knew he hadn't forgiven her.

  “What's that all about now?”

  “Nothing. She has some business to take care of in New York. Some investments of her family's that need looking into, and she asked me to come along and bring the girls.”

  “That's ridiculous. Why would you go to New York in August?” He was suspicious of both of them, and the plot they were obviously cooking up against him.

  “It's actually not till the very end of August. And it might be fun for the girls to do something a little different.”

  “Nonsense. You can go to New York some other time, this winter without the children.” But the harshness of his words sent a chill down her spine. He didn't know it, but nothing was going to stop her from going, or from taking her children with her.

  “No, Henri. I'm going now. With my mother. And the children.”

  He bolted to a sitting position and stared at her angrily. “Aren't you getting rather independent suddenly, Alexandra? May I remind you that I make the decisions here, for you, as well as the children.” He had never put it quite so bluntly, but it was true, or had been until then. But slowly, things had begun to change, since John Chapman had come to Paris.

  “I don't think this is worth getting excited about, Henri. It's an invitation from my mother, for myself and the girls.”

  “And if I forbid you to go?” His face was red with unspent fury, and her shocking behavior.

  “I will have to go anyway. My mother has asked me to come with her.”

  “Your mother is not an invalid. I'll call her myself and tell her you're not going.” But this time Alexandra stood up and faced him. She spoke in a quiet voice, but there was no mistaking the steel beneath the velvet.

  “I do not wish to disobey you, but I must go to New York with my mother.”

  “Why? Tell me that. Give me one valid reason.”

  “It's too complicated to explain. It's all family business.”

  “Alexandra, you're lying to me.” He was right, but she had no choice, the truth was too frightening to share with him.

  “Please don't say that. I won't be gone long. Just a few days.”

  “Why, dammit, why?” He pounded his fist o
n the glass table and she jumped.

  “Henri, please, you're being unreasonable.” And she was frightened that he would force her to tell him. “My mother wants to visit her family, and she wants me to come along. There's nothing wrong with that.”

  “What's wrong with it is that I didn't say you could go, and I see no reason for you to do so.”

  “Perhaps because I want to.”

  “You don't make those kinds of decisions for yourself. You are not a single woman.”

  “Nor am I a slave. You can't decide everything for me, for heaven's sake. This is the twentieth century, not the Dark Ages.”

  “And you are not some sort of modern women's libber to do as you please. Or if that's what you wish, Alexandra, you may not do it under my roof. Please keep that in mind before you start making your own travel arrangements.”

  “This is ridiculous. You act as though I've committed a crime.”

  “Not at all. But it is I who decide what you'll do when. That's how it's been for fourteen years, and I see no reason to change it.”

  “And if I do?” she asked ominously. For the first time in her life the way he treated her truly rankled. She knew he was a kind and decent man, but he ran her life in such a way that she was no longer happy with it. And what's more, she knew it.

  “You'll have trouble with me if you try out this independence. I'm warning you now.”

  “And I'm telling you, as politely as I can, that I'm going to New York with my mother on the thirty-first of August.”

  “That remains to be seen. And if I let you go, you are not taking my daughters. Is that clear?” It was all a power play and she suddenly hated him for it. All he needed was a whip to complete the image he was making.

  “Are they prisoners here too then?”

  “Is that how you see yourself?”

  “Lately, yes. Ever since you sent me down here as a punishment for a sin I didn't commit. You've treated me like a criminal all summer.”

  “Perhaps it's your own guilt that makes you feel that way, my dear.”

  “Not at all. And I refuse to feel guilty about a trip with my mother, or to bow and scrape and beg, I don't need to do that. I'm a grown woman, and I can certainly do something like that, if I choose to.”

  “Ah, the young baroness spreads her wings. Are you telling me that you don't need my support because of the size of your own income?”

  “I would never say such a thing, Henri.” She was shocked at how bitter he seemed to be. But he was furious that she wouldn't bend to his wishes.

  “You don't need to, my dear. In any case, I've decided. You're not going.”

  She looked at him and shook her head in despair. He didn't understand that he was choosing the wrong issue on which to take his stand. Nothing could have kept her from going. Not even her husband.

  Chapter 26

  When John Chapman arrived in Kentucky, it was like landing on another planet. He had to change planes twice, and a jeep met him and took him over three hours of bumpy roads into the mountains, until he was deposited at a “motel” with a single room and an outdoor toilet. He sat huddled in his room that night, listening to the owls outside and sounds he had never heard before, and he wondered what Megan would be like when he met her the next morning.

  He slept fitfully, and woke early. He walked to the town's only restaurant and ate fried eggs and grits, and a cup of truly awful coffee. And the jeep came for him again after lunchtime, with a toothless driver, who was only sixteen years old, and drove him to the hospital, high up in the mountains, under tall pine trees and surrounded by shacks where assorted families lived, most of them with a dozen children running around barefoot in what could only be called rags, followed by packs of mangy dogs hoping to find some crumbs, or leftover food the children might have forgotten. It seemed difficult to believe that this godforsaken outpost could be huddled in such beautiful country, and only hours away from places like New York, or Washington or Atlanta. The poverty John saw was staggering. Young boys who looked like bent-over old men from poor working conditions, bad health, and acute malnutrition, young women with no teeth and thin hair. Children with swollen bellies from lack of food. John wondered how she could stand working there, and walked into the hospital, not sure of what he'd find there.

  He was directed to a clinic around the back, and he went there, only to find twenty or thirty women, sitting patiently on benches, surrounded by screaming kids, and obviously pregnant again with what in some cases was their eighth or ninth child even though they were only twenty. It was an amazing sight, and when he looked toward the desk, he saw a head of bright red hair, braided and in pigtails, worn by a pretty girl in jeans and hiking boots, and as she walked toward him, he knew without a doubt, it was Megan. She looked incredibly like Alexandra.

  “Hello, Doctor.” She smiled at the greeting and led him to a small room nearby, where they could talk privately. He showed her the file he had shown Alexandra, and told her about Alexandra as well, and explained that the meeting was set for September first, as she had suggested. “Can you still make it?” He looked worried and she reassured him with a warm smile. She had some of the mannerisms of Rebecca, but actually she looked a great deal like Alexandra.

  “I can. If I can get away from them.” She waved toward the army of women waiting on the benches.

  “It's an awesome sight.”

  “I know.” She nodded seriously. “That's why I came here. They need help desperately. Medical care, and food, and education. It's incredible to think that this exists right in our own country.” He nodded, unable to disagree with her, and impressed that she was doing something about it.

  She looked over the file again, thoughtfully, and then asked him some questions about her parents. She wanted to know the same thing Alexandra had asked him. Why had Sam killed Solange? And then, what had happened to the others? She was saddened by what she read of Hilary, and smiled after he finished talking about Alexandra.

  “Her life sounds a far cry from mine, doesn't it? A French baroness. That's a long way from Kentucky, Mr. Chapman.” She said it with a drawl and he laughed with her, but she still wanted to meet both her sisters. No matter how different they were. “You know, my mother is very frightened about the meeting.”

  “I sensed that when we met. Your father was trying to reassure her.”

  “I think it's very threatening to any adoptive parent to have their adopted child seek out their birth family. I saw that during my residency, before I came here. But she has nothing to worry about.” She smiled up at him with ease. She knew exactly who she was, where she was going, and why she wanted to go there, not unlike the people who had formed her. David and Rebecca had lived by their beliefs too, and they were exactly the kind of parents she needed. Decent, intelligent, filled with integrity and love for the people and causes they believed in. And Megan knew it too. She had told her mother that before coming back here. “She'll be all right. I promised to call her after it was all over. I think they'll probably visit me after that, if I know my parents.” They both laughed, and John watched her eyes. They were filled with light and life and excitement. She was a girl who loved what she was doing and felt fulfilled, and it was exciting just being near her. She was so different from girls like Sasha, who were so totally wrapped up in themselves. This girl thought of no one but the needy people around her. And halfway through the afternoon, she had to leave him to do an emergency cesarean section. She was back in two hours and apologized for the delay.

  “This is supposed to be my free afternoon. But it's always like this, that's why I don't get too far.” And then she invited him to dinner at her place. She lived in a simple shack, with simple furniture and beautiful quilts she had bought from some of her patients. She cooked up a plain pot of stew and they relaxed and talked about her youth and her parents and the people she had met. She seemed to love her parents deeply and she was grateful for all they had done for her, yet at the same time it seemed to intrigue her to think that sh
e had once belonged to entirely different people.

  She smiled once over her glass of wine, and looked very young and girlish. “In a funny way, it's kind of exciting.” He laughed and patted her hand. In a way she seemed the least distressed, the most secure, the happiest of the three women. She was doing exactly what she wanted.

  And afterward she drove him back to where he was staying in the jeep her father had given her when she'd moved to the mountains. John wanted to sit in the moonlight and talk to her for hours, but she had to get back. She went back on duty at four-thirty the next morning.

  “Will I see you in Connecticut on the first?” she asked him cautiously, as he looked down at her in the moonlight.

  “I'll be there.” He smiled. “For a while anyway. I promised Mr. Patterson I'd be there to greet all of you and help get things started.”

  “See you then.” She waved as she drove off and John stood looking after her for a long time, as he heard the owls hooting in the tree, and felt the mountain air soft on his cheeks, and for a moment he wished he could stay there with her forever.

  PART FIVE

  Reunion

  Chapter 27

  Alexandra had already done all her packing, and all she had left to do was organize the girls when Henri confronted her in the hallway, and grabbed her by the arm.

  “I thought you understood me. I told you, you are not going to New York.”

  “Henri, I have to.” She didn't want to fight with him about it. It was something she had to do, and it wasn't fair to try to stop her now. He followed her back into their bedroom where he stood glaring at her in silent fury as her suitcases lay open on the bed.

  “Why are you being so obstinate about this?” He knew instinctively it had to be a man. There was no other conceivable reason.

  “Because it's very important to me.”

  “You've told me nothing that explains that. Why does a trip to New York with your mother mean so much to you now? Would you care to explain that?”