I Do--Or Do I?

by Karen King

  He grinned, the familiar lop-sided grin she remembered so well, and she felt the years fall away. It was as if they were twenty-one again.

  ‘Not a problem at all. In fact, it might be nice to have a couple of hours alone to catch up. I find it difficult acting like we’ve never met, but if that’s the way you want to play it then that’s fine by me.’

  ‘I’m not playing anything,’ she retorted. ‘It just took me by surprise seeing you when I first walked in. I decided it would be best not to say anything until I told Timothy. I didn’t want him to find out second-hand from his mother.’

  ‘Find out what? That your ex was going to photograph your wedding? An ex that you had a long relationship with, who had …’ he made quote symbols with his fingers, “Broken your heart and you’d forgotten to mention to him?”’

  Oh shit, he’d read her article. She stared at him dumb-founded, her feelings quickly changing to mortification as she watched him take a copy of the paper out of his bag, and open it at her column. ‘“Almost a Bride” by Paige Stevens. Very entertaining. I know it’s your column, so don’t deny it.’

  Damn Owen! She glared at Jared. ‘Yes, OK. It’s my bloody column, but it’s been hijacked by my editor. I didn’t write all that stuff. It wasn’t meant to be published like that. Owen saw a chance to improve the circulation figures and seized it. He didn’t even run it by me.’

  Jared tilted his head to one side. ‘Well, where did he get the information from? How did he know about us?’ A smile played on his lips. ‘Your portrayal of Sylvia is very good, by the way.’

  This was so embarrassing. There was no way she was going to admit to him that any of the stuff she wrote was true. ‘The sub-editor uploaded the wrong file by mistake. I’d just made a mock-diary because the wedding diary he wanted me to write sounded so boring. When I was away from my desk the sub-editor saw it on my screen, thought it was the proper column, and subbed it. I didn’t even know about the mistake until I read Saturday’s paper.’ She crossed her arms and scowled at him. ‘So don’t go reading anything into it. I am so over you.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear that, as you’re getting married in a couple of months.’ His expression softened. ‘For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for the way I left. For breaking your heart. If I did,’ he added quickly.

  ‘You didn’t.’ She snapped. You smashed it into smithereens, shattered it almost beyond repair.

  ‘I’m pleased to hear that, really I am.’ He sounded sincere. ‘And have you told Timothy about us yet? Because if he reads this column he’ll soon find out.’

  ‘No, not yet. It’s no big deal. We went out for a few years when we were kids. End of. Timothy and I don’t feel the need to tell each other about every relationship we’ve had. We’re far too adult for that.’ There, that told him. ‘Anyway, he never reads any of my stuff, so he won’t see it. After this week the column will return to a normal wedding diary. I’ve put Owen straight on that.’

  ‘I bet you have. Although it might not be popular with the readers. According to the internet poll the majority want you to tell Ian about me. I get the impression they’re eager to see what happens when he finds out.’ A smile played on his lips. ‘One reader even suggested that you dump Ian for me.’

  She shot him a furious glance. ‘As if! Now can we please stop talking about that stupid column and get on with discussing my wedding photographs? Which is what you’re here for.’

  He shrugged. ‘Sure. Lead the way.’

  She flounced off, determined to keep a few steps in front of him. This was an impossible situation. Why hadn’t she organised the photographs herself instead of allowing Sylvia to take over? Then she remembered; it was because trying to stop Sylvia from doing something was like trying to stop a tornado.

  ‘Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’ Jared caught up with her, matching his stride to hers, so they walked along the driveway together. ‘You’re right. It’s all in the past. No need for anyone to know. I need this job and you need a good photographer at short notice. And I am good.’ He said this with no hint of conceit.

  ‘I know you are. I’ve seen some of your photos.’ That’s right, Cassie, let him know you’ve been following his career.

  ‘Good. Then can we agree to start again. Move forward on a bride-to-be and wedding photographer basis. Strictly business?’ He held out his hand.

  She blanked it and kept her gaze fixed firmly ahead, keeping her voice crisp and polite. ‘That seems the most sensible thing to do.’

  Tessa, the receptionist, greeted her with a big smile. ‘Miss Tyler. How lovely to see you again.’ She looked beyond her, questioningly. ‘Is Mr Campbell not with you today?’

  ‘No, he’s working. This is our wedding photographer, Jar … J.M. As I mentioned on the phone he’d like to look around the venue and take some preliminary photos.’

  ‘That’s absolutely no problem. I’ll just let Katrina know you’re here. If you wouldn’t mind taking a seat for a moment.’

  ‘Of course.’ Cassie walked over to the plush green velveteen seats and sat down on one. Jared took the seat opposite.

  ‘I take it Katrina’s the one who deals with the wedding bookings?’ he said.

  ‘Yes, she’s lovely. She’ll show us around and you can ask her any questions you want. Timothy and I have thought of a few ideas for photos, but obviously you’re the expert.’

  ‘Not at weddings,’ he admitted. ‘But I promise your photos will be spectacular.’

  ‘Good to see you again, Cassie.’ Cassie looked up as Katrina walked over to them, her face wreathed in a welcoming smile. ‘What a shame Timothy couldn’t make it, but I’m sure we can manage between us.’ Katrina was über-friendly, and had quickly established first name terms when they’d had their first appointment to look around the château, and surprisingly, Timothy – who always liked to be treated with a bit of respect and deference – hadn’t objected. ‘You must be the photographer.’ She beamed at Jared.

  He stood up and shook her outstretched hand. ‘J.M. of I.D. Images. Pleased to meet you. You’ve a lovely place here. The ideal venue for a wedding.’

  ‘Thank you, we pride ourselves on being one of the more exclusive wedding venues,’ Katrina said. ‘We like to offer our client a professional service that ensures their wedding day is full of wonderful memories.’

  ‘Indeed.’ Jared nodded. ‘Now can you talk me through the day? Show me the entrance where the bride – and groom – come in? The room where the ceremony is actually taking place? The reception area?’ He turned to Cassie. ‘Will you want some pre-wedding photos in your room? Some of you and the bridesmaids getting ready?’

  It was surreal, Jared photographing her getting ready for her wedding. Sod it, if he could handle it so could she. ‘I don’t think so …’ she hesitated. It might be a nice touch. ‘Well, maybe a couple but we’d like most of the photos of the wedding itself.’ She turned to Katrina. ‘Would you mind taking us on a tour so we can discuss the best locations for shots?’

  ‘Certainly. Let’s start with the chapel where the ceremony takes place, shall we?’ Katrina led the way.

  Cassie had loved the little chapel in the grounds when Katrina had shown it them on their first visit, and that had been a dull, grey day. Today, with the sun glistening on the lake behind the chapel and dancing over the sparkling stained glass windows, it looked almost magical. It was all she could do not to clap her hands and squeal in delight. Jared seemed impressed too, and spent several minutes working out the best angles for the shots.

  ‘I’m presuming you want photographs of the wedding service?’ he asked. ‘Will it be a civil ceremony?’

  ‘A civil ceremony then a blessing. One of my friends is a lay preacher and will do the blessing for us.’ Sylvia had been outraged when she mentioned it.

  ‘A woman priest? And not even from the established church,’ she’d protested, but to Cassie’s relief Timothy had come down on her side.

  ‘If it’s important
to Cassie then it’s fine by me,’ he’d said. Cassie could have hugged him. Sylvia had been quietly furious.

  The chapel was small but beautiful, with vases of flowers strategically placed, and a huge stained glass window at the front of the church, where the sun shone through and illuminated the exact spot where the bride and groom would be standing. The ceremony being held here would make the wedding so special.

  Jared walked around, stopping every now and again to look through his camera, obviously assessing the best position for photos. Cassie stood at the altar, imagining her and Timothy standing there, saying their vows, promising to love each other forever.

  Forever was a long time.

  ‘Roughly how many guests are you expecting?’ Jared called, interrupting her thoughts.

  Roughly? She knew exactly. Timothy had set the limit. ‘It’s a small private ceremony for family only, so twenty-five. There’ll be eighty guests at the reception, though.’

  ‘Are you staying here the night before?’

  She shook her head. Timothy and Sylvia had wanted her to but she didn’t want to be alone in this castle. She thought it would be far more relaxing to be at home with all her things around her. Sylvia was appalled. ‘You can’t be serious, dear. It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding,’ she’d pointed out. Surprisingly, Sam had agreed.

  ‘Come and stay at mine,’ she’d offered. ‘Paul won’t mind, he’ll stay over at his brother’s. They love a chance to watch footy and drink a few beers.’ Cassie had readily accepted.

  ‘No, I’m staying at Sam's, she’s a friend,’ she added, then realised that she didn’t need to explain who Sam was. Jared would remember her. They were all at college together.

  He did, she could see by the smile in his eyes. ‘How are you arriving?’

  ‘In a horse and carriage,’ she told him, crossing her fingers as she’d only decided that this morning, and wasn’t sure whether she’d be able to find one in time, although Sylvia was bound to know someone.

  ‘Nice.’ He nodded approvingly. ‘We’ll have some shots of you arriving, then stepping out of the carriage. Some of the guests arriving …’ He rattled off a list of suggestions for photos and Katrina oohed and aahed, clearly impressed. Cassie was impressed too. It was obvious that Jared was a professional and would ensure they had some fabulous photos of their special day.

  When they’d seen everything Jared needed to see, they returned back to the reception where Katrina showed them to a private table in the corner. ‘I’ll leave you to discuss the photographs further,’ she said. ‘Would you both like coffee?’

  ‘Please, milk and one sugar,’ Jared told her.

  ‘Black …’ Cassie hesitated as Jared raised his eyebrow questioningly, the corners of his lips lifting into a playful smile. Damn it, he’d read her column and knew her secret sugar and chocolate consumption. ‘The same, please,’ she said.

  ‘Better not let Timothy and Sylvia know,’ he teased as Katrina went off to get the coffees.

  ‘Oh, shut up!’ She retorted, then seeing the twinkle in his eye she couldn’t help breaking into a grin. Honestly, he made her feel like a naughty schoolgirl.

  It was a mistake to let her guard down and smile at him, because now he leant forward and held her with his gaze. ‘It’s been a long time, Cassie. How have you been?’ He sounded like he genuinely wanted to know.

  She really didn’t want to do this. ‘Fine. How about you? Is wedding photography your new direction?’

  ‘Only temporarily, until I’ve earned enough to fund a visit to the Arctic.’

  Still the same old Jared, dashing off all over the world to take photographs. The next words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. ‘I take it you aren’t married then? Or you have a very independent wife.’

  ‘Nope, still single and fancy free. I don’t think my job fits with married life.’ He looked at her seriously. ‘If it did, I would have married you.’

  She was stunned. She stared at him wordlessly, trying to find suitable words to reply. Why did he have to say that?

  ‘I’m sorry, Cassie. I know I hurt you, but honestly, if we’d stayed together you’d have been hurt even more. This job, it’s in my blood. I need to do it as much as I need to eat, to breathe.’

  Finally, she forced a brittle smile on her face. ‘Forget it, it was years ago. We were just kids. If we’d have stayed together I’d never have met Timothy, would I? And he’s the love of my life.’

  For a fleeting moment she thought she saw pain in Jared’s eyes, but then it was gone. ‘I’m so pleased for you. Really, I am. I’ve felt guilty about how I let you down for years but now I can be at peace about it. Let’s put it all behind us and get on with the job you’re paying me for.’ He rummaged in his bag for his notebook. ‘I’ll make a few notes so I know exactly what you want. Do you want me to get them typed up and sent to you so you can run it all by Timothy?’

  ‘No, he’s left organising the photographs to me.’

  ‘You and Sylvia?’ Jared gave her a lopsided grin and she giggled.

  ‘Definitely not, she’s taken over enough. This is my call.’

  It was as if a cloud had lifted. Suddenly they were talking and laughing together as they had years ago. Katrina arrived with the coffees, so Jared read his notes out to them both.

  ‘How does it all sound?’ He looked questioningly from Cassie to Katrina.

  ‘Wonderful.’ Katrina clasped her hands and smiled broadly, her eyes wide as she gazed at Jared. She obviously had the hots for him. Not that Cassie was jealous, Jared had always had that effect on women.

  ‘Cassie. What do you think?’ Jared’s voice cut through her thoughts.

  ‘Perfect,’ she nodded in agreement. Her wedding day was going to be perfect.

  They walked back to the car park together, still chatting easily. She’d always loved the way she and Jared had been so relaxed in each other’s company. They’d been able to talk about anything. Timothy could be loving and attentive at times, but he wasn’t much of a talker. He was quite a serious person and didn’t really indulge in ‘idle chatter’. His conversations were always about something. Which wasn’t a bad thing, of course, but she and Jared had always seen the absurdity in things and had their own crazy sense of humour.

  ‘I’m glad we cleared the air. I’ve got to admit I was a bit worried about doing this job,’ Jared told her. ‘I feel better about it now. And look, I’m sorry I teased you about the newspaper article. If you don’t want to tell Timothy, it’s up to you. As you say, it was years ago.’

  ‘I think it’s probably best not to tell him now. It would only complicate things. Do you mind? Will it make you feel awkward?’

  ‘Not at all. It’s your call.’ They were standing by his car now. ‘Hang on a minute, I’ve just remembered that I brought a couple of the photo albums with me for you to look through. It’ll give you an idea of the designs we can do. I was expecting Timothy with you so I thought we could look through them together and decide today.’

  ‘Oh great, I meant to phone and ask you to bring some.’ She frowned. ‘I wouldn’t really like to choose without Timothy’s input though, it should be a joint decision. Could I possibly take them home with me or do you need them?’

  ‘Of course, take them.’ He opened the car boot and picked up a bag. ‘They’re in here.’ He handed the bag to Cassie. ‘Could you bring them back to the office within the next week?’

  ‘Sure. I can bring them next Thursday morning. Is that soon enough?’

  ‘Perfect.’ Jared leant over and kissed her on the cheek. ‘See you soon. I’m glad you’re happy.’ Then he opened the car door and slid into the seat, leaving her cheek tingling and her senses reeling. Why had he done that? Just when she’d managed to convince herself that she had no feelings for him any more.

  Why had he kissed her and ruined everything? Jared thought furiously as he drove off. The day had gone so well. Yes, it’d been awkward at first, Cassie had be
en a bit frosty with him, but she’d finally started to relax and they’d slipped into their old, chatty style of bantering, bouncing off each other. He’d really enjoyed her company, and felt that he could handle doing this. Then he’d gone and spoiled it all by kissing her. OK, it was only a peck, but the feel of his lips on her skin had seared through him, and it had been all he could do not to take her in his arms and kiss her on the lips. What the hell was the matter with him?

  It was being with her again, it brought back memories. He’d forgotten how gorgeous she was, how funny, how crazy. How special. Well, he had to forget all over again because he’d had his chance and he’d turned it down. It wasn’t right for him to walk into her life and mess it up again. Especially when he was planning on walking back out again; seeing as he couldn’t seem to trust himself from now on, he’d better make sure he was never alone with her.

  The sooner this wedding was over, and he could say goodbye to Cassie again, the better.

  It was a peck on the cheek, no big deal, Cassie told herself. The shiver that had run all down her spine, the almost uncontrollable urge to wind her arms around his neck and snog him like mad, had stunned her for a moment. It rendered her unable to move, to speak, but he’d simply got into his car and driven off. Obviously the kiss hadn’t had the same traumatic effect on him that it had on her.

  She took a deep breath. She was seriously over-reacting. People kissed each other on the cheek all the time. Jared was merely being polite, showing her that they’d now moved on to a friendly, professional level. That the past was forgotten.

  But boy, did he still have an effect on her.

  Ten

  When she got into the office the next morning, Owen was waiting for her.

  ‘This isn’t good enough, Cassie. You need to redo it.’ Owen thrust the ‘Almost a Bride’ column Cassie had sent over yesterday morning on the desk in front of her. She could tell by the way his chin was wobbling that he was angry.

  ‘What’s wrong with it?’ she asked. She’d actually been quite pleased with it. She’d kept to the same chatty, personal tone of the previous column, with the odd mention of her ‘monster-in-law’ and other difficulties, but had deliberately kept Blake out of it, merely mentioning at the beginning that Blake had decided he didn’t want to photograph her wedding so someone else from the company was doing it. It was a lively, interesting piece with plenty of personal interest, so Owen had no reason to complain. ‘They will be interested in reading about the wedding dresses I tried on and helping me choose which one to buy.’ They didn’t need to know that she’d already chosen her dress – the voting option had been popular last week and she wanted to continue with it, so decided to ask the readers to vote for one of three dresses. ‘Women understand what a nightmare it is trying to find the right dress. They’ll love to be involved in the decision.’