Not a Mermaid

by Madeline Kirby

  “Your personal trainer Dani Jarvis. I don’t know what’s more unnerving – that you have a personal trainer or that it’s Dani Jarvis.”

  “Dani’s really nice.”

  “She’s also still, technically, a suspect, even if you’re sure she didn’t do it.”

  “I’ll make you a deal. If she did do it, I’ll find a different personal trainer.”

  Petreski rolled his eyes and went back to the living room. I took that as agreement and went back to chopping my tomato.

  Jake Gets a Murder Board

  Dani was waiting for me in the lobby of the university wellness gym the next morning. She had worked out some kind of arrangement to get in as a guest trainer and was going to get me started on a weight training program. Oh, joy.

  “Okay, so don’t be intimidated,” she said as we walked through a forest of strange machines and racks of weights.

  “I’m not intimidated,” I lied.

  “Everyone starts somewhere. Even that guy.” She nodded towards a guy in a sleeveless t-shirt with a thick neck and bulging arms. She winced when he grunted loudly and dropped his weights on the floor with a yell and a whoop. “Okay. Don’t be that guy.”

  “No problem.”

  “It is entirely possible to get a balanced physique without turning into a skinny-legged douchebag.”

  “Tell me how you really feel.”

  She laughed and we continued on to a corner station with an adjustable bench and a rack with an assortment of dumbbells. “Let’s start here. You can actually get a pretty good workout just with hand weights. And you’re not looking to get big or compete, right?”

  “Absolutely not. I’m actually pretty happy with the way I am now.”

  She laughed and shook her head. “I wish everyone was this easy.”

  We spent the next half hour going through a series of exercises that worked my back and chest – to help combat student slouch, she said, and I remembered Jennifer’s hunchback remark. I was starting to feel a little self-conscious and straightened my shoulders.

  As we were walking towards the locker rooms we passed the cardio area and she stopped. I turned to see what she was looking at, and just stopped myself from gasping.

  “A friend of yours?” I asked, nodding towards Gloria Quintanilla, sweating it out on a stair machine. “Do you want to go say hi?”

  “Oh, no. We should get going.”

  That was when Gloria looked up and I could tell she recognized Dani. She glanced at me and got that “don’t I know you from somewhere” look on her face.

  “Yep, you’re right. Gotta get cleaned up for class.”

  I turned toward the locker room, hoping to get moving before Gloria figured out where she knew me from.

  Maybe everybody was right and I should just stay home and mind my own business. Too many people knew too many other people.

  I rushed through my shower, wanting to make a speedy exit from the gym. I kept my head down as I crossed the lobby and left the building, not looking up until I got to the corner and had to cross the street. It wasn’t until I was settling into a carrel in the library that I relaxed and let myself think about what I’d seen in the gym.

  Dani and Gloria knew each other. I had now seen Gloria twice on campus. Signs pointed to Gloria being a student. Dani had been Lana’s roommate, and Gloria was Lana’s co-worker, which was a perfectly innocent connection and it was completely possible for them to have met. So why would Dani pretend not to know Gloria, unless there was something funny going on?

  ❧

  “I need a murder board,” I announced when Don stuck his head in my door that afternoon.

  “A murder board? Like on cop shows?”

  “Yeah. To keep track of everything.”

  “Why? What happened?” He came the rest of the way in.

  “I was at the gym with Dani this morning, and we saw Gloria – from Slippery When Wet. They knew each other.”

  “What did they say?”

  “Nothing. They just looked at each other and then Dani pretended that she didn’t know Gloria. But things are getting complicated.”

  “Why would Dani pretend not to know Gloria, unless they’re up to something?”

  “That was my thought!”

  “And if they’re up to something, maybe you should distance yourself from Dani and stay away from all these people.”

  “I knew you were going to go there. Not happening. Whatever they’re up to, I’m sure it didn’t have anything to do with Lana’s death.”

  “What about Standing’s?”

  “What? You mean, you think maybe they killed Standing?”

  “Maybe. Like, revenge or something.”

  “Nooo... No, I don’t think so.”

  “You mean you don’t want to think so. But it’s not entirely out of the question.”

  “See? I need a murder board. Plot all this out – the connections and everything.”

  “Ugh. I think there’s an old whiteboard in the back room at work. I’ll see if they’ll let me borrow it.”

  “Cool. Do you work tonight?”

  “Yes. Fine. Let me borrow your car, and if I can, I’ll bring it home tonight. Happy?”

  “Yes. Yes! You’re the best friend ever!”

  Don rolled his eyes and left.

  “Best friend ever! I love you, man!” I called after him. The last thing I saw was his middle finger rise above the railing as he went down the stairs.

  ❧

  The first thing I figured out when I got my murder board was that I had no idea how to set up a murder board.

  Don’s boss just gave him the board since it was pretty much trash anyway. You could see faint traces of black and green lines and writing that wouldn’t come off. I cleaned it as much as I could and then leaned it against the coffee table. I sat on the floor in front of it, picked up my dry-erase marker, and... nothing.

  I stared at it for a minute, and then turned it sideways so it was wider than it was tall. That looked more murder-boardy.

  I had to start somewhere, so I wrote “LANA” near the top of the board. Then I wrote “STANDING” next to that, since he was also now a victim.

  I started filling in names and information and trying to figure out who knew who and how they were connected. I got up to make some coffee and grabbed my dream journal so I could add those details to my timeline.

  Staring at the board, I admitted I was stuck. I was only looking at a small part of the picture. I knew next to nothing about Standing, Miletti, or Frank Forrester, and had no real way of learning more. No safe way, that is. I could go back to Slippery When Wet and poke around, but then I’d start looking suspicious and Gloria would recognize me for sure now.

  I guess I was just... stuck. And now I needed to get to class.

  It was ridiculous to keep looking over my shoulder, but I couldn’t stop. What if I ran into Gloria again? I was starting to feel like everything was just too close and maybe Don and Petreski were right and I should step back. But I couldn’t. The dreams wouldn’t let me. Why would I be having these dreams if I wasn’t supposed to do something with that information?

  So I went to class and looked over my shoulder.

  I was walking back to my car when my phone rang.

  “Hey, Jennifer! How was your retreat?”

  “It was great! How are you?”

  “Oh, I’m fine. School. The usual.”

  “Well, I heard you were trying to reach me. You sure everything’s okay?”

  “I was calling about Dani – Dani Jarvis?”

  “What about her?”

  “Well, I’m not sure whether you knew, but her roommate was murdered.”

  “Lana?”

  “You knew her?”

  “Not well. She came to yoga class now and then with Dani. How terrible! How is Dani?”

  “Okay, I guess, but she needs a place to stay. She has to get out of the house, well, for several reasons, but she needs somewhere that she can take her – Lana
’s – dog. I’ve got a line on an apartment for her, but it won’t be ready for a couple of weeks. I was wondering whether you knew of anything?” I bit my lip, waiting for her answer. If I knew Jennifer at all she would offer to let Dani stay with her if she could.

  “Well... I have room, but I don’t know how Buttercup would feel about sharing his space with another dog.”

  “Oh, I wasn’t trying to –”

  “No, no. Of course. I’m just thinking out loud. Tell you what. Why don’t we set up a meet – Dani and her dog could come over to the house, and we’ll see how Buttercup reacts. If it’s okay with him, it’s okay with me.”

  I knew I could count on Jennifer. “Thanks. Thank you so much! I’ll call Dani and get back to you.”

  ❧

  Later that afternoon, Dani and I sat on the sofa in Jennifer’s sunny living room and watched Ruby and Buttercup circle each other.

  “I think they’ll be fine,” Jennifer said as she put a tray of iced tea and glasses on the coffee table. “Y’all want tea?”

  “Oh, yes, please,” I answered, taking the glass she poured and handed to me.

  “Jenn, I really hate to impose like this,” Dani said as she accepted a glass.

  “No, no. Don’t you worry about that. It’ll be fun to have someone around for a while.”

  “If you’re really, really sure, then I’m, gosh, so grateful. I’ve got to get out of that house. There was a prowler the other night, and after Lana... anyway, I just feel so lucky to have met Jake when I did.”

  I looked down at my drink and kept my mouth shut. I felt like a heel, knowing that the real reason I’d gone out of my way to meet Dani was to get information about Lana.

  “Jake is one of the world’s special people,” Jennifer said, compounding my guilt.

  “Y’all... please...” I started to protest.

  “You hush,” Jennifer scolded. “If it wasn’t for you... Anyway. Enough of that. Dani, do you want to bring your stuff over tonight?”

  And that was when Dani lost it. Heaving sobs and tears pouring down her face. Jennifer ran from the room and came back a few seconds later with a box of tissues, handing Dani a couple as she sat down on the other side of her.

  I sat there feeling helpless. I wasn’t sure what my role here was – comforting friend? Stoic rock? Superfluous male?

  Jennifer was holding Dani in a hug now, rocking her back and forth and whispering to her.

  “It’s okay. Just let it out. I know, I know.”

  I caught Jennifer’s eye and shrugged, trying to make it a question. She nodded toward the kitchen. “Jake, honey, why don’t you go get the bottle of bourbon from the kitchen? I think we could all do with something a little stronger, don’t you?”

  I fled. There was a bottle of Maker’s Mark among the small collection of liquor bottles in a tidy row on the kitchen counter. I grabbed it and opened the cabinet above the little bar, pulled out three glasses, and took everything back to the living room.

  Dani’s sobs had subsided to hiccups by this point, and I concentrated on pouring us each a small amount of the mellow brown whiskey.

  “Better?” Jennifer asked after Dani had swallowed a few sips.

  “Yeah. Sorry.”

  “No need to apologize. You’ve probably had to be real strong the last few days. You needed to get all that out in a safe space. You want to talk about it?”

  Dani glanced at me. “I can leave if you want,” I said. “You know, if you want to talk privately.”

  “No. Stay, it’s fine. I do. I’m not sure where to start, but I think it’s better if you are here.”

  “Start wherever you like,” Jennifer said.

  “When you called this a safe space... it was the first time I’ve felt safe since, hmm, since maybe before Lana was killed.”

  “Before?” I asked. “Were there threats, or –”

  “Shh. Let her tell it her own way.” Jennifer put her hand on my arm to quiet me.

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” Dani said, shaking her head. “I’d wonder the same thing. But no, it was more... subtle than that. It was something about Lana. Or more like, something about what was going on around Lana.” Dani took another sip of her drink and clutched the glass in both hands.

  “Okay, here it is. She’d been sleeping with her boss. I wouldn’t call it dating. Lana wasn’t interested in him for more than just a good time. She liked sex, but wasn’t interested in a relationship. Nothing wrong with that, but it struck me as kind of high risk, especially if you’re doing it with your boss.” She looked up at me and I nodded, agreeing and encouraging her to continue.

  “Then this other guy – this cop named Standing – started sniffing around. Lana started seeing him, too. But with him it was more like dating – going to dinner and talking on the phone a lot. I thought maybe she was getting serious about him, but when I asked her about it she laughed. Said she was still seeing Miletti, too. I thought that sounded stupid. I mean... there was just something about Standing that rubbed me the wrong way, you know?”

  I nodded. “Oh, yeah, totally.”

  “I was worried. I didn’t trust either of those guys, and there was Lana involved with both of them.”

  Jennifer sighed. “It’s hard, when you feel like a friend is making a bad decision and there’s nothing you can do.”

  “Yeah. Exactly. Lana’s attitude was always that everything would work out – no matter what it was. But I’m a little more cynical. I just knew something was wrong. You probably think that’s silly,” she said, looking up at me.

  “Not at all. Seriously.” Seriously.

  She looked back down at her drink and didn’t say anything for a while.

  “So, did anything actually happen? Like were either of them ever... did either of them ever hurt her?” I asked.

  “No. Not that I knew of. I mean, Miletti wouldn’t do anything like that – she couldn’t work if she had bruises or injuries. Doesn’t mean he couldn’t be a bastard, though. Standing, I don’t know. But a few days before she... before she died... she started looking upset. I asked her if something was wrong, but she didn’t want to talk at first.”

  “At first?” Jennifer asked. “Did she ever open up?”

  “Yeah. She... she finally told me that she thought she might be pregnant, but she wasn’t sure whose it was or what she was going to do.”

  I remembered the phone call. I wished I knew who she had been talking to.

  “But there was something else. Something about Standing. I’m not sure what it meant. She said she didn’t think he was really interested in her for herself. When I asked her what she meant she clammed up. Just shook her head and wouldn’t say anything else about it. And then she was gone.” Dani downed the rest of her drink and sat the glass on the coffee table. “I probably should have told all that to the cops, right?” She asked me.

  “Probably. But you were upset and afraid, right? You can tell them now. I’ll help you, if you want.”

  ❧

  Petreski wasn’t thrilled about getting this information at such a late date, even if it mostly just confirmed suspicions he already had. For me it confirmed the nature of the phone call I overheard – that she did know she was pregnant and probably talking to one of the possible fathers.

  The remark I kept coming back to was that Lana felt Standing wasn’t interested in her for herself. If not, then what was he interested in? Was it just a fetish thing, like he was into mermaids, or swimmers, or blondes? Or was it something that had nothing to do with sex at all? Something more sinister? Something to do with what she did or where she worked? One more unanswered question to put on the murder board.

  Perez Has a Theory

  I was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my murder board that evening when Don came in, Bridger hopping behind him and Perez – in Cat form – bringing up the rear.

  “Check out my entourage, dude.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m ever so impressed.”r />
  “Solved the case yet?” he asked, coming back from the kitchen with a beer.

  “I wish.” Perez sat down next to me and looked at the board. “What do you think, Snookum-Doodles?”

  She hissed at me, but didn’t take her eyes off the board. Don laughed.

  “So what happened today? You said you got Dani moved into Jennifer Katz’s place.”

  I looked at Perez, trying to decide how much to say in front of her. I knew she hadn’t done anything, but I also knew she wasn’t supposed to be involved in the investigation. But she was sitting here looking at everything I’d written down about it, so I sighed and told Don – and Perez – everything Dani had told me that afternoon.

  Later, when Don left, carrying a sleeping Bridger, Perez lingered. She was curled up in one corner of the sofa, and I’m sure she was pretending to be asleep. I sat at the other end and watched her for a minute.

  “You’re not really asleep, are you?”

  She cracked one eye open and looked at me.

  “Yeah, didn’t think so. You got something you wanna say? About that, I mean?” I asked, pointing at the board.

  She got up, stretched, and then jumped down to go sit in front of the board. She raised one paw to scratch at Standing’s name and hissed.

  “Yeah, I get it. He was an asshole.”

  She hissed again, louder and longer.

  “This is ridiculous. If I get you something to wear, can we have a conversation about this?” She sighed and looked away.

  “Tell you what. I’ll put a t-shirt and a pair of sweats in the bathroom. They’re clean. If you’re up for talking, you can go in there and get dressed. If not, the window’s open.

  She was still while I got the clothes out of a drawer and put them in the bathroom. She stared – glared? – at me for a few more seconds and then went into the bathroom, pushing the door closed with her body when she was inside.