by Sasha Scott
“There are a lot of old and lame people out there Kelly. Some of them even host successful quiz shows so I’d watch what you’re saying.”
“I have no idea! Hmph. The only one I think I’ve heard is Wagner, but does that not means it’s obvious? Screw it, Wagner.”
“You’re saying D, final answer?”
“Well yeah?”
“Let’s take it to the board and see.”
It was just like the first half of the show, everyone bringing their attention to the board for a big green tick or a naughty red cross and the second half even began like the first with a surprise tick out of nowhere.
“Wow, congratulations Kelly, that was a correct answer. He claims he doesn’t know his operas but I think we have a theatre lover hiding deep down inside. That means you avoid a forfeit for this round.”
“Oh yeah,” he cheered. At the moment things weren’t so bad… apart from his dress sense but he was sure there would be some way around it. There was no way this show seriously ended as badly as people thought, right? All he had to do was keep this up.
“Let’s move onto question seven. In which country is the Negev desert? Is it A, India? Is it B, Iran? Is it C, Iraq or is it D, Israel?”
This was the difficulty of keeping it up. He didn’t have a clue about any of the questions, how was he supposed to keep this up?
Once again Kelly scrunched his girlish face up as he tried to ponder the difficult question which honestly he had absolutely no clue about.
“Not an expert on Asian deserts?”
“Stop asking me stupid stuff like… nevermind,” he sighed out. This teasing was getting on his nerves. He didn’t need it with the day he was already having.
“Come on you need this to avoid our next forfeit round. The audience are just waiting to be asked again.”
“Maybe Negev is like one of those camps we used in the war? Yeah I’ll go with C, I’m sure they were fighting in deserts.”
“He’s saying C, let’s take it to the board and see if that answer is correct.”
Kelly was hoping to see a second green tick in a row. He did not. The red cross was back and he was condemned to yet another forfeit.
“Unlucky Kelly. The answer was actually D, Israel. The name Negev is actually derived from the Hebrew word for dry. How interesting. I’m sure though you and our audience are a lot more interested to see what’ll come in our next round of Ask the Audience!
It’s the speech round. We’ve all missed that girly voice you were putting on at the start of the show. This time we’ll give you one for good!”
Kelly gulped. He’d resorted to his, not exactly masculine but still normal voice after being discovered, but now this next round would go ahead and overwrite it with the audience voted choice.
“So folks fingers on voting pads. Vote A if you like a Lisping Lily. Vote B if a British Beauty is more your tastes. Vote C if you support Viva la Francais and vote D if you like them Better Seen Not Heard. Any preference Kelly?”
“Probably B would be the best one maybe?”
“Oh come on, doesn’t D sound like it could be fun?”
“No!”, he whined out. D would mute him unless he was addressed directly. He at least wanted to keep the ability to talk by himself, even if he had to do it with a lisp.
“Well the votes are in and it’s not D, but it’s not B either. In fact they’ve decided to do with C, Viva la Francais.”
This particular option was one that would change his voice into a recognizable accent from France which meant that as Kelly’s throat tingled he was being blessed with a sensual, girly, French accent.
The accent itself could be considered as the stereotype accent with a heavy ‘z’ sound and the such but many did consider it to be a very sexy accent, it was no wonder it was chosen really.
“Come on Kelly, let us hear that new voice. I’m sure the audience is just dying to hear it.”
“I guess I don’t really have a choice?” Kelly rolled off the tongue in a heavy French accent. He was by no means fluent in French now, or even knew any of the language, it was simply his voice which changed.
A wolf whistle sounded out from within the audience as Jim let out a small chuckle.
“Well seems you’ve got some admirers thanks to that lovely new voice of yours. They say Paris is the city of love and they just seem to love you.”
Once again he wasn’t too interested in all of this, glaring at Jim as he tried to cover his tanned, bikini clad body the best he possibly could.
“Just get on with it please.”
“Okay I get the picture. Onwards to question number eight. I guess that’ll be huit now for you.”
“On with it I said, on with it.”
There were a few chuckles from the audience by just how strongly his accent had changed, the entire way he pronounced his words being completely different.
“Alright, alright. Question number eight. Which language was spoken by the ancient Romans? Was it A, Arabic? Was it B, Greek? Was it C, Latin or was it D, Sanskrit? Sadly French is not an option for you.”
“Ha ha,” Kelly said sarcastically, “So funny I almost forgot to laugh.”
“I’m glad I could entertain but seriously do you have any idea?”
“Well I don’t think it’s Arabic but after that I don’t really know, I don’t know anything about the Romans. I’ve heard of Greek and Latin before though but not that last one. So maybe it’s that one then?”
“So you want to say D, Sanskrit?”
“Yeah sure, go with zat one.”
“Okay you’re saying D, let’s see if that answer is correct. Oh unlucky Kelly that was incorrect. The correct answer was of course Latin. I thought that everybody knew that?”
“Well I didn’t!”
It was hard for Kelly to remember if he actually did know that before he came onto the show or not. Every wrong answer, and there had been a few now, had sapped away more of Kelly’s IQ points. His head was a lot fuzzier than it had been when he first arrived. Who knows how much knowledge he’d lost?
“Sorry Kelly that means that once again we have to go ahead and Ask the Audience! Okay folks let’s look out our newest category and it’s the kinks round. Seems like things are about to heat up in here.
So everyone fingers on the buzzers. Vote A if you’re a fan of Anal Ambitions. Vote B if you’re partial to Sensual Spanking. Vote C if you’re into Once You Go Black and vote D if you’d like, get this, All of the Above!”
“What!?” Kelly squealed out. All of the Above was a rare option. A very rare option. So rare that it’d only ever been used in the surprise round and never in the kinks round. The cynical could say that they only included it this once to punish him for coming on the show to begin with.
“Wow, look at that,” Jim chuckled out before Kelly could properly protest, “In what could be the record speed for a voting All of the Above has rushed straight to victory!”
Of course it did, it was always going to win because it meant three for the price of one. Kelly was going to receive a triple dose of lewdness.
Anal Ambitions and Sensual Spanking were very self explanatory changes, Kelly’s head throbbing as the mental changes took over. The former was a fetish for anal sex while the latter was a desire for being spanked.
Once You Go Black was more centralized as a love for interracial sex, all three of the changes being inflicted to Kelly at the same time, making his body squirm while his mind throbbed and the changes were rooted deeply into him.
Kelly began to pant as he was given a triple dose of lewdness, the fresh thoughts being very prominent in his mind whether he wanted them to be there or not. He didn’t want to get aroused on national television, that’d be too embarrassing.
“Feeling any different?” Jim asked to the show’s squirming contestant who was grinding his teeth together.
“Not really,” he lied through his teeth as he bulged into his bikini bottoms, his nipples stiffening in light arousal.
“Oh well I guess that we’re fine to move onto question nine. Which US car manufacturer revealed the Charger concept car in 1964? Was it A, Buick? Was it B, Dodge? Was it C, Oldsmobile or was it D, Plymouth?”
The questions were getting to the point where Kelly should definitely know them. However his IQ had been robbed away by a series of wrong answers and it was getting a lot harder to think about anything. Apart from his new kinks, they were very easy to concentrate on.
Kelly rubbed his fingers across his temple, groaning out as he tried to think it through.
“Having trouble Kelly?”
“I said to be quiet, I am trying to zink. If I remember I zink zat maybe Dodge Charger rings a bell?”
“So you think it may be Dodge?”
“Zat is correct, I will say that.”
“He’s saying B, Dodge. Let’s see if those bells are ringing loud.”
In what could be considered something of a shock, if everybody watching at home and in the audience didn’t already know he had it correct, a big green tick flashed up onto the screen.
“Congratulations Kelly that is totally and utterly correct! Seems that you know about you cars.”
“Well I try do my best.”
All Kelly needed to go now was get the next answer right. Having four right answers wouldn’t be the worst and most importantly of all he’d avoid the dreaded round ten, the personality forfeit round.
Personality was always the final Ask the Audience segment and it was just what it sounded like, a chance to the contestant’s very being. It couldn’t get more serious than that.
“You know Kelly we have a special gift for you to, to say congrats for getting that last question correct.”
“Oh?” this was unusual. It wasn’t standard to give prizes for right answers. The right answer was the prize itself, “What is it?”
“Well you’re about to find out as we say hello to Elijah.”
From the back walked a tall, incredible muscular, topless black male. Unlike when Kelly first walked onto the stage there was no pretenses about this being a woman. This was a man, a real man.
The cynical could once again point out that to already have someone ready to appear like this that the show had specially set up the previous round to meet certain conditions, but that’s a debate for another time.
The large, muscular, black man positioned himself right next to Kelly’s seat, draping his arm around the back while the tanned, blonde haired, boy took small glances up at the hunk.
“What do you think? Just your type isn’t he?”
Thanks to that last forfeit he was just his type, the sorta guy who made him feel weak at the knees. But of course he didn’t want to admit that, even as his cheeks flushed.
“Of course not. What’s he even here to do?”
“Nothing just keep you company. Must be scary being the first male competitor we’ve ever had. Feel free to take advantage of our hospitality.”
Kelly didn’t want to share with Jim, nor the audience, the thoughts which were currently running through his head. They were strictly for adults only.
“While you enjoy your prize let’s move on with the quiz. Question number ten. In The Simpsons, what was the name of Krusty the Clown's sidekick? Was it A, Sideboard Bob? Was it B, Sidecar Bob? Was it C, Sideshow Bob or was it D, Sideways Bob?”
An easy question about The Simpsons. Kelly should have been jumping with joy but instead he was trying to rack his brain. The answer had totally gone from his head. Yes he could remember Side-something Bob but that was every answer. Which could it be?
It was hard for Kelly to concentrate with his intelligence lowered and his dream guy standing so tantalizingly close to him, Kelly unable to stop himself from glancing over to admire his large, muscular body.
“If you could take your eyes off of Elijah so you could think about it, that’d be great.”
Kelly twisted his head, lips curled up into a thick pout, “I am zinking, I’m zinking. Hmph, it’s just been so long since I watched it and… it’s so hard to zink right now.”
His body was heating up, his mind was longing to be distracted but he knew he needed to remember the answer otherwise he was going to lose his mind.
“Come on Kelly, stop drooling and give us an answer.”
“Well I zink the answer might be D, Sideways Bob.”
“He’s saying D, Sideways Bob. Let’s find out if that’s the correct answer.”
Of course it wasn’t the correct answer and a large red cross only went ahead and confirmed it.
“Amazingly you got that wrong. The correct answer is actually C, Sideshow Bob. I didn’t think anybody would be able to get that question wrong.”
“Be quiet it’s been a long day,” he whined out. Getting something so easy wrong. Stupid, stupid.
“Well, for the final time today everybody it’s fingers on your voting pads time as we go ahead and Ask the Audience! And as always it’s the personality round which means time to reveal the answer to who we want to be a bimbo; Kelly.
So everybody here are your options. Vote A for Hyper Happy. Vote B if you like some Sophisticated Slutiness. Vote C if you like them Hot and Spicy and Vote D if you like a Girl Next Door.
Any personal preference Kelly.”
He shook his head from side to side, his long, platinum locks shaking and bouncing around.
“No no no, I didn’t want this. I didn’t zink this would work on me. Please don’t do zis to me,” he whined out helplessly as the votes came in.
“Sorry the audience seem to have made up their mind already and the one that has came out in top is a bit of Sophisticated Slutiness.”
A powerful throbbing took over Kelly’s mind as the mental changes began to warp his very being. He squirmed around on his seat as the changes slowly started to take shape, the boy squealing loudly.
“Sadly folks we’re running short on time so if you want to see how this change will affect our contestant you’re going to have to join us back here after this final commercial break. Don’t go anywhere!”
“Welcome back folks, hope you had a good break. We’re joined here with Kelly, our first ever male contestant on the show who has managed to get through with three correct answers. How much brain power does he have left going into our grand prize question? How are you feeling Kelly?”
His posture had changed. Rather than being slumped back on his seat, using his legs to cover his bulge he was now sat up completely straight, head held up high with one leg crossed over the other, hands resting down over his lap, still dressed in the same white bikini.
“My current state is of little importance. If you’d ask me that question again once I’ve tackled this next question I’d be able to give you a better answer.”
“Golly folks, he sure sounds a lot smarter now but let me put your mind at rest, he definitely isn’t.”
Kelly puffed his cheeks out as he pouted his lips, “How rude, don’t you dare speak to me like zat.”
“Better watch your tongue around this one folks. But more importantly are you ready for your half a million dollar question?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be I suppose.”
“Dim the lights please, it’s time for our grand prize question.”
The studio lights dimmed as a dramatic tune played through, a single spotlight projecting itself down upon Kelly who remained posing in place in his seat.
“Kelly, for five hundred thousand dollar, how many letters are in there in the alphabet? Is it A, six? Is it B, sixteen? Is it C, twenty six or is it D, thirty six?”
It was a very simply question that at the start of the show Kelly would have been able to easily answer but alas seven IQ sapping forfeits later and his mind had been turned to mush.
This time he wasn’t making the same clear head rubbing motions as he racked his brain for an answer, he simply rested his hand onto his chin and rubbed slightly, humming in consideration.
“Quite a pickle I find myself in.”
“I know I know, I want to win after all. I am determined now to go home empty handed, just let me zink for a few more moments. I know it is not six but as for the others…”
People who had only watched the show and never experienced it wouldn’t truly be able to fathom just how hard hitting the intelligence loss was on the contestants, especially for those who weren’t the smartest to start with.
“I zink if my memory serves me right that the correct answer is twenty six?”