Present For Today

by W. J. May

  When he opened his eyes, she was staring back at him. Looking as scared and vulnerable as he’d ever seen. Yet, somehow, she had never looked so sure.

  “I don’t care how many people you’ve been with,” she whispered, trembling slightly as she stared into his eyes. “I care that you’re here with me.”

  His entire body froze. Too desperate to move. Too breathless to speak. “I don’t know how to do this,” he said softly, slowly wrapping his fingers around her wrists. A part of him wanted to run, to spare her, but he was absolutely powerless under the spell of those magical eyes. “I’m not...I’m not a good person. You shouldn’t—”

  “Gabriel.”

  The rest of the world fell away, and for a moment it was just the two of them. No boundaries, no walls, the shadows that chased him were held at bay. For a moment, it was just him and her. And a wide-open future. She took a step closer, staring deep into his eyes.

  “I want you.”

  There was no more talking after that. The time for talking had passed.

  In a flash, the two of them came together. Like the inevitable collision of two magnets that had long been held apart. His lips came down onto hers as her fingers wound up through his hair, but no matter what they did it was like they could never get close enough.

  They stumbled into the walls, into the door frames, into the furniture. Kissing, grasping, clutching—anything they could do to hold on. Her hands slipped under his shirt and he tore it off in an instant, pulling her against his bare chest as he tenderly cupped her face in his hands. The sweet smell of her perfume washed over him, and he closed his eyes, surrendering himself totally and completely to whatever was about to come. Knowing that he could live and die in that very moment. There would never be anything better. He would never want anything more.

  Then, as quickly as they came together, they suddenly pulled apart.

  Gabriel’s eyes shot open as she took a deliberate step back. Her shoulders moved up and down with quick, shallow breaths. Her eyes locked intently on his. Then, without looking away, she reached up behind her and pulled loose the ribbon on her dress. It fell to the floor.

  For a second, they just stood there. A little shiver swept over her skin, but this time, when she stepped forward, it was Gabriel who took a step back. He caught her hands as they reached for him, wrapping them in his own and holding them against his pounding heart.

  “I’d wait,” he whispered, “as long as you wanted. I’d wait a long time.”

  A little twinkle lit her eyes as she stretched up and kissed him on the nose. “...I wouldn’t.”

  They came together again. Sweeter, this time. Tender. Heading for the bedroom.

  A FEW HOURS LATER, Gabriel and Natasha were lying in the bath.

  The tub had to undergo a hasty cleaning process before he decided they both wouldn’t catch some latent form of hepatitis, but all of that was behind them now. The air was scented with steaming clouds of lavender and the two were completely at peace. Eyes closed. Muscles relaxed. Nestled down in a warm sea of bubbles as she leaned back into his arms.

  Every now and then, a passing smile would flicker across their faces. Every now and then, Gabriel would lean forward and kiss the top of her head.

  “So, you were really going to let me see every girl you’d ever slept with?” Natasha asked suddenly, casting a mischievous grin over her shoulder. “Every single one?”

  He tensed for a moment before wrapping his arms tightly around her waist—leaning down to bite playfully at her ear. “Absolutely not. I was going to talk you out of it. Had this big speech prepared. One I’d been practicing the whole way here.”

  She giggled and squirmed as his hands tickled her beneath the water. “And if I refused to be talked out of it?”

  He paused thoughtfully, considering this for the first time. “...I was going to pelt you with cookies and run away.”

  “Oh, that’s very mature!” She shrieked with laughter as his teeth clamped down on her shoulder. “Very fitting behavior for a spy.”

  “It was the first lesson they taught us.” The tickling stopped as he trailed a line of feather-light kisses along her jaw. “I’ve already shown you the second...”

  A flush spread up the base of her neck, and with no warning she flipped around so they were lying chest to chest. The water spilled over the top of the tub, but neither of them noticed. They only had eyes for each other. And their minds were focused on other things.

  She gave him a soft kiss before pulling back suddenly, searching his eyes. “Do you really think you’re a bad person? Do you really believe that?”

  He glanced down in surprise then let out a quiet sigh, holding her tighter against his chest. “You’ve shared my memories, Natasha. You’ve seen the things I’ve done.”

  “Yes, I have.” She pulled back a few inches so she could look him in the eyes. “I’ve seen the things you did in the past, and I see the things you’re doing now. You sacrificed everything you had to switch to a better cause. You risked your life. You saved mine—”

  “But that’s easy for me.” The room fell quiet as he shook his head, staring down at the sudsy water. “Dealing with absolutes. Life or death adrenaline. That’s easy. That’s what I know. It’s the little things that define you. It’s the day to day—”

  “And what? You think you’re the only person in the world somehow exempt from redemption?” she demanded. “It doesn’t work like that, Gabriel. The man I see on the day to day, the one who does the little things—cooking an old woman dinner, sneaking back in the middle of the night to fix the water heater of a girl you hardly know...that’s who you are.”

  A generous assessment. But one that was overlooking one or two pesky details.

  “I’ve also killed a lot of people.”

  Her shoulders slumped, and she rested her cheek against his chest with a sigh. For a second, he thought that was going to be the end of it. Then she added one last thing. “Yeah, well...we all have our quirks.”

  There was a beat of silence, then he looked down in shock. “What?”

  He tried shifting her higher to see her face but she refused to budge, burying her face against his skin to hide a guilty smile.

  “Are you kidding? We all have our quirks?” He let out a burst of laughter as she slipped beneath the water. “Is that the official consensus from the moral high ground?”

  She resurfaced with a grin, giant stacks of bubbles perched atop her head. “I never said I was the moral high ground. As it turns out, I happen to be quite corruptible.”

  Gabriel pursed his lips, refusing to let himself smile. “Don’t do that.”

  “Don’t do what?” she asked innocently, cocking her head to the side. A glop of bubbles slowly slid down the side of her face as she blinked up at him with those impossibly wide eyes.

  “That.” There was a crack in his composure as she dipped her face down once more and began fashioning herself an impromptu beard. “You know I can’t compete with that. It’s too bloody adorable.”

  She bit her lip with an angelic smile. “I guess you’ll just have to do what I want then. Just have to listen to what I say.” She shifted up a bit higher, trailing a finger down his chest. “So, when I tell you that you’re a good person, you’ll have to believe it—”

  The muscles in his stomach contracted and he grabbed her thighs, wrapping her legs around his waist. There was a primal sort of hunger to the way his fingers trailed down her naked spine. A wicked sort of mischief that danced in his eyes.

  “Let me guess...” She caught her breath as he hitched her up higher, wrapping her slender arms around his neck. “...you’re done talking about moral ultimatums?”

  “I’m done talking.” He tilted her chin up for a kiss. a kiss that deepened as soon as it began. “But I can think of a few more interesting things we can try...”

  It could have been perfect. It could have been the seamless transition to a perfect kiss.

  Then there was a sudden splash, foll
owed by a high-pitched scream, followed by a metallic wail, as all those ‘interesting things’ went right out the window.

  “HANS?!”

  Chapter 14

  A few hours and several vile profanities later, Gabriel and Natasha moved back to the bedroom. The bath had been drained, the robot exiled to the study, and the two of them were lying side by side watching the moon come up over a blanket of stars.

  “Is it like this in London?” she asked suddenly. “Can you see the stars?”

  “In some parts.” He lifted his arm and she snuggled in underneath. “London’s a really bright city, which makes it hard. But there are quieter parts. I used to live in one of them.”

  Her body relaxed with a wistful sigh. “I’d love to see it sometime. Go out walking in the rain, order some of those disgusting biscuits you Brits like so much.”

  “Well, why don’t you?” He propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at her with sudden excitement. “There’s nothing stopping us. I could take you. My friends grew up in the actual city, but I grew up beneath it. I still love to do all the touristy things.” He picked up momentum, planning on the fly. “We could go to the National Gallery, Westminster, the Tate. If you wanted, we could tour the Palace and you could meet some of the Royal Family.” He was dreaming now, his eyes a thousand miles away. “Get drunk at Piccadilly, horseback riding along Hadrian’s Wall. I’d get you one of those ridiculous little rain hats—”

  “Hold on,” she shifted herself higher on his chest, peering down at him with a disbelieving smile, “I don’t think that ‘touring the Palace and having tea with the Royal Family’ is part of the average pedestrian tour.” When he didn’t say anything, her eyes grew as wide as saucers. “Wait...you could actually arrange that?”

  He shrugged. “Friend of a friend.”

  To be honest, he was a lot more excited about the horses. The Wall was a good drive away, but he hadn’t been there since he was a kid. It was one of his only childhood memories pre-Cromfield. Waving a stick at that giant, crumbling wall and pretending he was King Arthur. He’d passed out in the car on the way home, overwhelmed with all the excitement, dreaming of his future life as a knight. Little did he know, he’d be fighting for the other side.

  He leaned back against the bedframe, his eyes dancing with tales of bravery and ancient swords. “Shoot, I’d leave right now...” His voice trailed off depressingly as he remembered the ‘urgent’ reason he’d come. “Except I still have a few things to take care of in the city.”

  “Oh yeah?” She rolled on top of his chest, planting a kiss on the base of his neck before peering up through her lashes. “And what’s that?”

  “You know, the usual.” He tried his best to smile. “Ridding the world of evil, one midnight subway battle at a time.”

  She felt his body stiffen beneath her, but didn’t press the issue. Instead, she made a conscious effort to lighten the mood, biting mischievously at his collarbone. “I guess I should feel lucky then. That you took the time to come here. Penciled in a bath amidst your busy crime-fighting schedule...”

  He laughed quietly, but couldn’t stop the little frown that creased the center of his brow. “Yeah, actually, it’s...it’s kind of a precedent. You’ve completely derailed me.”

  It was true. In no other world would Gabriel possibly be lying in the bed of a beautiful woman—laughing, cuddling, and eating cookies—when there was a traumatic journal to read and a gang of deadly assassins to assassinate. In no other world would he be able to close his eyes, let alone enjoy himself, until the task was complete.

  But Natasha...no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, it was like he couldn’t stay away from her. Something kept pulling him back. Like a moth to a flame.

  Why would he prowl the streets at night, looking for trouble, when he could cook dinner with her instead? Why would he lose himself in the pages of that journal, when he could lose himself in her eyes? Why miss a chance to hear that sparkling laugh? To coax that magic smile?

  As if on cue, she slumped over him, her arms and legs growing suddenly limp. “...I’m starving.”

  His troubled expression melted away into a bright smile as he wrapped his arms around her in a giant bear hug, squeezing until she let out a breathless giggle and sprang back to life. “Starving? That’s no good. We can’t have that.”

  He was out of bed in a swift motion, wrapping a sheet around his waist as he moved down the hallway towards the kitchen. The moonlight painted silver streaks across his body as he swiftly assembled a platter of everything edible he could find. A little fruit, a couple of wafers, what was left of those neighbor-woman’s cookies. He was about to head back, when something lying on the windowsill caught his eyes. A certain metal flower he’d seen before. He picked it up with a little smile and added it to his collection. The final garnish on the plate.

  By the time he got back, Natasha was drifting in and out of sleep. Her eyelids fluttered open as he perched beside her on the mattress, latching onto the silver rose. A delicate blush spread across her cheeks as she picked it up, twirling it between her fingers.

  “You didn’t expect me to throw it away, did you?”

  He watched her with a tender smile. Making plans he didn’t yet realize himself. Making new agendas, new priorities. Ones that all happened to center around a beautiful, sleepy girl. “I’ll have to get you some real ones,” he said softly. “Brighten the place up a bit.”

  She raised her eyebrows with a teasing smile, running her fingers along one of the fragile little thorns. “The great Gabriel Alden...buying a girl flowers?”

  He set down the plate with a quiet laugh. “I know. You’ve ruined me. What will all my friends say when I come home smiling and domesticated?”

  She let out a laugh herself, tickled to death with the absurdity of it all. “You could never be domesticated. Smiling, maybe. But never domesticated.”

  “I’d settle for smiling.”

  Her eyes twinkled and warmed as she opened her arms, inviting him to come inside. He did so without a moment’s pause, balancing his weight with one hand as the other slowly trailed over her bare skin. He stopped when he got to a thin scar running along the side of her ribs.

  “What happened here?”

  She tensed for a moment, then sighed. “You remember when I told you I didn’t need to go back and see my parents’ car crash? That I remembered it just fine?” He nodded, quiet, gazing down at her in the dark. “That’s because I was there. I was in the car.”

  A wave of heartbreaking sympathy washed over him, stilling his body and shining in his eyes. He didn’t say a word. He simple bent down and pressed his lips gently against the scar.

  “Gabriel?”

  He lifted his head quickly, caught off guard by the scared uncertainty in her voice. It was even worse on her face. Her entire body was frozen with it.

  “Are you still in love with that dark-haired girl I saw in your mind?”

  That’s what she’s worried about?

  A wave of relief swept over him, and his shoulders relaxed with a restful sigh.

  “No.” He stroked back her hair with a gentle smile. “Rae was never...” He trailed off thoughtfully, wondering how to explain. The story of Rae Kerrigan and Gabriel Alden was stranger than most. Especially to someone who hadn’t been there. “When I met Rae, I was a shell,” he said simply. “No guilt, no conscience, no emotions. Nothing. Everything I did was rehearsed. Every move I made was carefully planned.”

  A belated shudder ran through his body. A bullet dodged. A life he could have had.

  “She changed that. Taught me to open up. Taught me to feel. Helped me realize that I wanted to do those things. But I don’t think I was ever actually in love with her.” He smiled again, his eyes warming with blissful contentment. “I love her, don’t get me wrong, but I wasn’t in love. I was in love with the future she represented. The possibility that maybe, one day, things could change. I could change.” He glanced down, nervous as to
how this explanation had been received. “Does that make any sense?”

  Natasha stared at him for a long time before nodding slowly. “I think so.”

  Not exactly the answer he was hoping for. Not that he could really blame her.

  “Plus, she’s married,” he added quickly, hoping it would assuage more of her fears.

  If only Devon could hear me now. For the first time ever, respecting the sanctity of his holy vows...

  Natasha chuckled, twisting around to make room for him on the bed beside her. The two of them curled around each other, wrapped in each other’s arms as they gazed up at the light of the moon. They were quiet for so long that Gabriel thought she had fallen asleep, when her sweet voice piped up suddenly in the darkness. “Gabriel, did you tell my neighbor I was deaf?”

  WHEN GABRIEL WOKE UP the next morning, he was a changed man. It wasn’t anything on the surface, no specific thing he could point to, but it was undeniable all the same. The air felt lighter, the colors seemed brighter, and for the first time in longer than he could remember he actually felt excited about what the new day might bring.

  He rolled over to see Natasha still sleeping by his side. There was an angelic glow coming in from the window behind her, and for a moment all he could do was stare.

  How was it possible that this perfect girl had fallen asleep in his arms? How was it possible that, with all the crazy twists and turns his life had taken, they had somehow ended up in the same place, at the same time? Two sides of the same coin, miraculously joined together.

  He trailed a finger down the side of her neck. So lightly, it wouldn’t wake her. So tender, her lips curved up in a smile, even in her sleep. His body warmed just with the sight of it, and he resisted the urge to wake her up right then and there. To jump on the bed like a child, waving his arms until she got up to play.

  Here’s an idea...how about we don’t do that.

  For once, he wisely chose to listen to his own advice. After taking another second to immortalize the image in his mind he gently pushed out of bed, moving silently down the hall. His clothes were still scattered in various places around the living room, and he had a quick scavenger hunt to collect them all. Grinning a little wider with each one. Aching to go right back down the hall and see if she had finally opened her eyes.