I felt Gordon softly touch my arm and I couldn’t help but jump as his skin caressed mine. I was a bringer of death. Even to those I hold dearest and, at that moment in time, he was the most important. I had to keep him alive, even if that meant leaving to save him. It would be the most painful thing I ever did, but I felt like it was best, especially right at that moment. I felt like I was about to explode. A strong wind began to blow around us as I felt my power build, stinging my eyes. Light was spreading from my heart and through every vein in my body like my blood was on fire.
I stood shakily and began to walk into the darkness, and I could hear Gordon following close behind. The loyalty I felt in that moment was almost too much to bear and I just had to keep walking. My heart began to beat faster and the glow began to build in my chest. In and out. In and out. My eyes burned and it was like fire was scorching its way through my veins. I could hear his gate shuffling through the ashen ground behind me.
“No!” I turned to him and cried again, “No!”
I had my hand out to stop him, almost touching his chest, and the palm of my hand began to glow. “I don’t want to hurt you.” I backed away a few steps as the heat continued to grow behind my ribs.
Hurt and confusion took residence on his face and I almost shattered just looking at him. His dark eyes sparkled with unshed tears and understanding as if he knew exactly what I was thinking and feeling. He probably did, but I knew no matter how much it would hurt that harming him would hurt even more. I just had to get away from him before the beast caused me to do something I would regret. He took a tentative step forward and I took a few steps back. He was playing with fire, and I was trying my best to contain it. The fear and agony were too much for me to handle and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to tolerate him coming any closer. He took another step with both hands out towards me and my heart skipped a beat with panic. It was like a fire alarm was going off in my head and he couldn’t hear it.
“Gordon, no. Please,” I begged him, but he refused to stay away. He kept coming towards me, causing me to back away even further and I almost tripped. “Gordon,” I looked deep into his eyes and continued, “You’re playing with fire. Literally.”
I fell when I took another step away from him and hit the ground hard. You would think the ash all over the ground would do something to help cushion the fall, but it didn’t. The pain of the impact was reverberating through my entire body, and the palms of my hands and backside had taken the brunt of it. My heart began to hammer even harder when Gordon reached his hand out to me to help me up, but I couldn’t take his hand. My arms shook as I turned onto my stomach and pushed myself up onto my knees. A few amber tears drop onto the ground, causing a slight hiss. Even my tears contained liquid fire. Just like the liquid flowing through my veins. My blood and tears held my power.
Fear and death were the root of the power inside of me and I knew it, but I didn’t want to believe it. The nightmare of Gordon’s death spurred this on and caused the initial reaction, and then the realization of what my mother had said caused it to burn out of control. I put my hands over my eyes and tried desperately to control my body’s reaction to the horror, but the beast inside made it next to impossible. I had never had a response this bad before, so I wasn’t sure what to do from here.
I took a few deep breaths but they did nothing but make me feel like I was about to pass out, so I removed my hands from my eyes and touched the ground. The heat from my hands was causing the embers beneath them to flare back to life and small fires began to burn, flaring around my fingers. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the flames and I had to choke down tears as I saw the blood vessels in my hands react to the heat. They were glowing just a little bit brighter and pulsating as the flames waved around in the wind. My hair was whipping and stinging my face, and I still couldn’t force myself to look away.
I could still feel Gordon’s presence as he watched me, and the confusion and sadness I could sense running through his body made the tears fall even faster. Their hiss when they hit the ground was unmistakable. The emotions flowing from him were enveloping me like a blanket. The glow from my chest was lighting up the ground as I looked down at it and continued to grow brighter, just like in my nightmare. I was about to explode and I knew it. If I thought I was a killer before, I was really about to be one now.
My body began to move of its own volition as the glowing grew brighter and brighter and my eyes felt like they were about to burn from their sockets. The heat emanating from my center felt like I was at the core of the earth, and there was no cooling me down. I felt like I could shatter at any moment, sending pieces of me throughout Hell so others could find them and keep as trophies.
My back arched and my head fell back, a scream flowing from my parted lips in a guttural tone. I could only imagine was Gordon saw as the light grew and grew, ending in a bright flash as flames erupted over my body. The heat licked at every inch of flesh, but it didn’t hurt. There was no pain. I opened my eyes and saw Gordon standing before me, shock and awe apparent on his face. There was something else in his eyes. It was wonder. He was standing there in pure amazement before me, but I could still feel the heat building inside of me. It was like I would erupt again, and I was sure there would be damage this time.
I sat down and curled my arms around my legs and rocked back and forth. It was like every time this happened I regressed to a shivering child in the darkness, too scared to even look up. My eyes were closed as I tried to bring my beast back under control. I didn’t want to kill anyone, especially Gordon. That’s what would happen if I let the next eruption take place. It would be like a small version of Pompeii or Mount Saint Helen’s. I wove my hands through my hair and continued to rock, Gordon inching closer and on the offensive. Sobs racked my body as I realized that, no matter what, Gordon was there until the end and I was a fool to think I’d be able to walk away from him. I just couldn’t.
I sobbed Gordon’s name into the crook of my elbow and I felt him loom closer once he heard his name, quicker this time. It still felt like it was taking forever for him to close the distance between us and all I wanted to do was reach out and drag him to me. It felt like time was moving in slow motion and I really wanted to speed it up. I knew his touch would probably be able to tame the beast inside of me. Well, more like hoped. He had been able to before, but I wasn’t sure it would still work with the level of power I seemed to be capable of.
I turned my face up to him and I could see the flames dancing in his eyes, making them look even more alive than usual. It was like I could see my soul in his eyes, and my soul was shrouded in an inferno. That’s certainly what it felt like. The heat was continuing to build again, and it seemed hotter this time if that was even possible. It was almost burning instead of hot, and it was certainly white hot.
I reached my hand out to him and I began to shake yet again from trying to hold the beast back so it didn’t obliterate him in the process. He bent down in front of me, allowing me to touch his face with love and trust. I could feel his stubble. It was rough, almost like sandpaper. His eyes were squinting against the light like they couldn’t adjust, but there was no fear there. He didn’t seem at all afraid of the fire that was rolling over my skin, and I couldn’t help but smile. I was beginning to calm and the proof was in the dimming flames.
His gaze bore into me and he said, “I’m not going anywhere.”
I had pleaded him to back away, but what I didn’t realize was that I needed him with me to help control the animal inside of me that threatened to take over everything and burn it all down. There was no doubt about that in my mind now. Absolutely none.
We both sat there surrounded by darkness and it seemed to be creeping in on us. It was like it was alive and it wanted to swallow any light it could to shroud us in nothingness. It would even take the love we had for each other and try to twist it into hate to feed on. There was no way this love could be turned into something so evil. We wouldn’t let it even if our lives de
pended on it. We’d die first.
The flames floating across my flesh had dimmed to a trickle as my heart slowed to a steady and relaxed rhythm and the fear subsided. He was there kneeling in front of me, and all I could feel was calm. I could feel my humanity returning as the beast was being locked away inside of my mind, and I could hear it make a hushed growling noise as it sulked. Gordon reached up with his other hand and caressed my cheek, following my cheek bone and then tracing down my jaw. I trembled slightly at his touch and I couldn’t hide my response to him. The truth was I didn’t want to hide it. He had to know what he did to me. The flames completely extinguished with a slight hiss as the terror continued to melt away under his touch.
My gut tightened as he used one finger to trace my lips, and I fell to his prowess. He leaned down and kissed me with everything he had, and a moan escaped my lips as I let my body take over and left my brain at the door. I didn’t care that we were in the middle of a clearing or that Escara could possibly be watching. Everything I was feeling had come to a head and was begging for a release of some kind, whether it was a release of power or the release of letting the love we had for each other takeover. We both wrapped our arms around each other and let go.
There was nothing that could take away from this, not even the evil surrounding us. As we kneeled in the darkness I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the love we had for each other was being expressed in the most simple of ways. The most carnal and animal part took over and there was nothing left but us.
Chapter 14: Tender Hearts
We laid there in the darkness, the distant fire roaring. Our clothes were strewn around us on the ground and we were both breathing heavily, sweat dripping from every pore. Our legs were intertwined with each other’s and he was looking deeply into my eyes. It was like when we first met. I felt like I could fall through to forever in those eyes. I was drowning in his gaze just lying there and I couldn’t help but sigh. I was still in wonder of him. We had just made love in the middle of Hell, and it was uninhibited and carnal. Animalistic in our need for each other and the release of anger, fear, and frustration had the beast satiated enough to leave me alone for a while.
Gordon’s fingers were lightly running over my arm, and he began to trace my face again, pushing my hair behind me ear. I closed my eyes and let myself feel his touch. There was nothing better than this. Lying there spent and breathless was one of the best feelings I had ever experienced, especially with Gordon. We hadn’t known each other long before our deaths, but the love was so pure nothing could spoil it. Not even Hell apparently.
I could feel his gaze on me and I let my lids flutter open. My arm was outstretched underneath me and my head was lying on it like a pillow. All I wanted to do was sleep now, wrapped in his arms like the world didn’t exist. His hand had moved down to my waist and his fingers began to glide over my hip, and back up again. Back and forth. I watched his face as he looked down, head propped on his elbow. His eyes were hooded by his long lashes and his lips were slightly parted. He was beautiful, and I couldn’t help but stare at him in awe. I could feel my heart swell with love and it quivered a little bit. Even the butterflies were in my stomach once again. Not even Hell could take this feeling away.
His eyes then met mine and he grinned. The smile lit up his eyes and the stress of the past seemed to melt away. I felt the muscles in his body relax like they had been tensed the whole time we had been lying there. If only he would just relax and take the moment in. with every breath we took we were continuing to beat the odds. If anything, any other Executioner would have ended his life as soon as they could, but not me. I fell in love with a demon, and I really didn’t seem to mind that he was one. Why would I? The heart wants what the heart wants, and mine wanted him with everything I had and more. The odds were always against us, and we always beat them. And we would again.
My eyes burned with fatigue, and I could barely keep them open as he looked down at me. I fought the urge to close them and tried to memorize every line is his perfect face. The stubble that he had now made him look rugged, but it didn’t take away from the perfection. If anything, he looked more distinguished. Or at least he did to me. There was always something about a man with just a little facial hair. Not too much. Just enough to make it look like he wasn’t stuck in an office all day with a million dollar company. That wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted rugged, animalistic, and dangerous. How much more dangerous could you get then a demon?
My father didn’t seem to approve on the surface, but I knew that as long as he knew I was happy that was enough for him. It was just too bad he didn’t get to know him better. He had taken off at the first sign of trouble like I expected, but I was hopeful he would’ve stuck around. Things got too hairy for him, but Gordon stuck around. He helped me through the sickness that Lilith had inflicted me with, and I turned it back on her after Gordon’s death. The scary thing was that when I thought of Gordon before I died I imagined him in Heaven surrounded by fluffy white clouds and light. I would’ve never imagined this. Even my dreams hinted at a better afterlife, but this didn’t seem to be too bad really. Yes, occasionally you had to fight a creature from your worst nightmares to survive, but then there were moments like this. I was sure though that most people didn’t get this. Most were stuck in the river burning and suffering for eternity.
I was just happy that we had found each other once again and the love we had for each other hadn’t faded into darkness like we had. I didn’t even think happy was a good enough word for what I was feeling. Gordon was still looking at me with adoration in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but smile at the thought that he adored me. I think I adored him just as much, if not more. I wasn’t even sure how that was possible.
I rolled over onto my stomach and crossed my arms on the ground, laying my head on them. He watched as I did this and began to caress my back once I was settled. The feeling is his skin on my bare back was like pure heaven and I let out a relaxed sigh. Even though we were lying on ashy ground and were even more covered in it than before I didn’t care. This was well worth it. Were we crazy though? Could this really work? I was so scared the answer would be no, so I felt that I might as well not ask him that question and live in the moment.
He reached up and moved my hair off of my back and rubbed between my shoulders and I was finally able to relax enough to let all of the tension in my body go. I crossed my feet at the ankles and just let him do what he was doing. He seemed to really enjoy just lying here getting to know my body again.
He took a deep breath in and asked, “What happened?”
I propped myself up on my shoulders and genuinely felt confused. I even felt my brow furrow. What happened when? “What do you mean?”
“How did it happen?” He seemed to be dancing around the word that he wanted to say, but couldn’t. I knew exactly what he meant. He wanted to know how I died and ended up here, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell him. Both of our deaths were painful and violent, and I really wanted him to think I ended up here peacefully in my sleep while fighting the illness he helped me through. I just couldn’t lie to him like that.
“I thought I had killed Lilith. The disease she gave me moved into her when I confronted her. This was a few days after…” I let the rest go unsaid. I couldn’t even bring myself to say the words out loud. I breathed in deeply and continued. “She came back that night.” I didn’t want to finish. This was a story I didn’t ever want to be telling, especially not to him. I left out Chase completely. I didn’t need being trapped in Hell plus Gordon’s jealousy. There was nothing between Chase and I except a possible friendship that hadn’t even had a chance to flourish. He had responded to the emergency call and had sat by my side in the hospital. He had also watched me die.
I looked down at the ground and blew ash around in front of me, the embers sparking to life and glowing like fireflies. When I looked back at his face I could see sadness in his eyes, and I quickly looked away. He was ashamed that he wasn’t there to sav
e me from Lilith, but at this point I can’t say I regret any decision I had made or even ending up here. It brought me back to him, and I was going to get us out if it was the last thing I did. I was totally and completely in love with him, and there was no doubt about it. Seeing the sadness was too much for me.
I turned back on to my side and reached out to touch his face, and he watched me with fascination. I leaned over and kissed him and his lips were so soft I couldn’t help but moan. In return he put his free hand on my neck and pulled me into the kiss. I didn’t want to but I had to pull away after a few minutes because I was so breathless. I even felt a little dizzy. I took a deep breath in and let it out in a rush, and Gordon smirked once again. He knew the effect he had on me, and I could only hope that it would always be this way.
We heard a flutter behind us and as I turned to look I grabbed my shirt from beside me and scrambled to cover my chest. Gordon obviously wasn’t embarrassed. Escara was standing there, her branch-like wings folding against her back and disgust in her face. I wanted to chuckle. Her annoyance at our humanity was something I found hilarious, and I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep myself from breaking out into hysterical laughter. I was in such a good mood that I almost couldn’t stop it, and not even her sour face could spoil it. If anything it solidified the moment.
She looked form Gordon to me, and then back to Gordon. If I wasn’t mistaken I could swear I saw blood flood to her cheeks in the quickest blush I had ever seen. A demon blush? That was a first for me. I hadn’t even seen Gordon blush before.
She placed her hand on her hip and seemed extremely annoyed. She then said, “Now, if you two are done wasting valuable time, I think we should begin.”
I looked at Gordon who didn’t even seem to realize he was still completely nude, and cleared my throat. He looked at me, looked down and blushed. There it was. He stood and slipped on his pants and helped me off of the ground. Escara looked away quickly. Apparently demons had modesty too, even the completely naked ones. You learn new things every day, and apparently the things you learned down here weren’t what you would expect.
Follow the Screams (The Executioner Trilogy Book 2) Page 7