Behind His Walls

by B. L. Mooney

  Jasmine’s door was closed, so I peeked in before opening it. I wasn’t sure if she was getting dressed. I smiled and opened the door when I saw her sitting on the bed trying to fasten a bracelet.

  I walked inside, pulling Lindsey behind me. “Here, let me help with that.”

  She looked at our joined hands before looking up to me, smiling. “Thanks.”

  “You look more like yourself today. How are you feeling?” I fastened her bracelet and held her hand.

  “I’ll be better when I can use my left arm, but I can’t complain.”

  Lindsey stepped aside when the nurse brought the wheelchair in for Jasmine. “Now, don’t argue with me. I told you earlier this is hospital policy. If you want to go home, I suggest you get your ass in this seat.”

  “Joseph, let me go get the car.” Lindsey held her hand out to me for the keys.

  “Thank you. We’ll be right down.” I turned back to Jasmine to help her get in the wheelchair. Her ribs were cracked in the accident, and it was difficult for her to move.

  “If you guys ever find the creep who did this, I want a piece of him.” Jasmine may have been hurt, but she was still just as feisty. It was going to take more than a lunatic with an agenda to bring her down.

  I stood up straight. “What have I done?”

  “Joey?”

  “I’ll meet you downstairs.” I ran out of her room and saw the elevator doors close. I took off for the stairs. I couldn’t let Lindsey walk out unprotected.

  I took the stairs two at a time until I was close enough to the bottom of each flight to jump and started running all over again. I reached the main floor and swung the door open into a crowd waiting for the elevator. It took me a moment to find her, but I saw Lindsey walking out the front doors and into the crosswalk. I ran after her.

  “Lindsey!”

  She turned and stepped back up on the curb toward me with a concerned look just as a car whizzed past her, knocking her to the ground.

  “Lindsey!” I rushed to her and looked around for the car. It sped out of the parking lot. I crouched down and held her shoulders as she sat up. “I’m so sorry. I should never have let you out of my sight.”

  “I’m fine, Joseph. They need to watch where they’re going.”

  “Let’s get you inside so they can look at you.” I tried to help her up, but she wouldn’t take my help.

  “Joseph! I’m fine. A little embarrassed that I landed on my ass, but I’m fine.” She stood and brushed herself off. “The car didn’t hit me.”

  I pulled her to me and held her tight. “I’m so sorry.”

  She wrapped her arms around me. “Are you shaking? I’m fine, Joseph. I’m fine. We need to get the car.”

  “You’re right.” I pulled away, but held her hand. I needed to be more cautious where Lindsey was concerned and get my head out of the clouds.

  I didn’t say much when we drove home or throughout dinner and excused myself to clean the kitchen as soon as they were finished eating. I needed the moment to myself. I leaned on the sink and the vision of Lindsey falling to the ground kept replaying in my mind. It was careless to let her go alone.

  I needed to work some of this frustration out in the basement. I left the kitchen to change my clothes, but stopped in the hallway when I heard Jasmine and Lindsey talking.

  “So, you’re staying in his room with him?”

  “That’s what he’s told me.”

  “Are you comfortable with that?”

  There was a brief pause before Lindsey answered. “I’m very comfortable with Joseph.”

  “You’re comfortable with the Joseph you’ve known, but are you comfortable with the Joey I’ve known?”

  “I don’t know who he is yet, but I hope to.”

  I started to walk in again, but stopped when Jasmine started talking again.

  “He’s the most kind, most generous, and most loving man on this planet. I just wish he could see it.”

  I shook my head and walked in. “You’ve both called me names that would contradict that statement.”

  “You’re a great man, Joey. It doesn’t mean you can’t be a gigantic asshole.” Jasmine’s smile looked innocent, but I knew better.

  I sat down and decided to work out after they both had gone to bed. I’d rather not have them comparing notes on our relationships.

  Jasmine placed her head on the back of the sofa and closed her eyes. I looked at Lindsey as she looked at me. I nodded and sat up.

  “I see what you two are doing.” Jasmine yawned and interrupted herself. “You want me to go to sleep so you two can get freaky.”

  I stood, slid my arms under Jasmine, and lifted her. She looked at me and smiled, resting her head on my shoulder. “I think you still have a phone call to make before you go to sleep.”

  “You’re right. I talked to him a little bit last night and this afternoon, but he is expecting me to call him again.”

  I carried Jasmine up the stairs to her room and set her on the bed. “How are things between you two?”

  “He was concerned since I stopped answering him, but he understood once I told him about the accident.” She looked at the floor. “He wants to come.”

  “He should.” I picked up her suitcase Phil had gotten from the hotel after the accident. “I’d like to meet him.”

  “Okay, but Lindsey helps me if he asks.”

  I looked at her, to her pajamas in my hands, and back to her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it. Do you want Lindsey to help?”

  “It isn’t anything you haven’t seen before.”

  “But it is inappropriate.” I placed the pajamas onto the bed.

  “It’s okay. I can manage on my own.”

  I looked to the door and considered getting Lindsey, but they hardly knew each other. “I’ll help, but I won’t look.”

  “Joey, it isn’t a big deal. We’ve done far more than just see each other naked.” She placed her hand on my arm. “But I understand if it makes you uncomfortable. Lindsey is a remarkable woman, and I’m so happy for you.”

  “You’re reading too much into things.” I stood her up and unfastened her jeans before tugging them down. She sat on the bed as I looked at her leg. It was bruised with some cuts. “Do you need to do anything for that?”

  “No. It’s just sore. I only need to be careful of my ribs and arm.”

  I nodded and finished helping her get ready for bed. I didn’t look away when she was undressed, but I didn’t have the same thoughts I once had for her. She was still a beautiful woman, but both my adrenaline and cock stayed down.

  I covered her with blankets as she sank down into bed, and I leaned down to kiss her cheek. She brushed her hand against my cheek and whispered, “You are a remarkable man, and Lindsey is very lucky to have you.”

  I reached to the nightstand and grabbed her phone. “I think someone is waiting to hear from you. Let me know if you need anything.”

  I shut her door as I left her room and walked to my room to change. Emptying my pockets onto the dresser, I noticed the bare wall in the reflection. I wanted to make Lindsey feel comfortable and not pressured to be restrained against my wall unless she asked to be.

  I walked to the closet and grabbed my suitcase stand. I didn’t like the fact that Lindsey would be living out of a suitcase in my room, but I didn’t feel that putting her clothes away would be any better. It may send the wrong signal to both of us, and while we were sharing a space, we were far from living together.

  At least with a specific spot for her suitcase, she could feel more comfortable rather than lugging it out to get dressed every day. It also would serve as a reminder that the wall was not something we had to do—no matter how much I wanted to.

  I looked up from my tablet to see a bare-chested Joseph coming down the stairs in shorts. That answered the question of what we were going to do that evening. Well, what he was going to do. I’d stick to reading.

  “I’m going to head down and get a workout in. I
s there anything you need before I go?”

  “No. I’m set.” I raised the tablet. “Is Jasmine settled?”

  “Yes, she’s probably sleeping if she’s finished with her conversation already.”

  “Would you mind if I read in bed?”

  “Not at all. I want you to be comfortable, Lindsey.”

  “Thanks.”

  I watched as he headed down the hall to the kitchen. He seemed bothered by something. I wanted to ask if there was anything I could do, but giving him space was probably the best for him. He had two women staying in his house when all he wanted was silence.

  I stood and stretched before heading upstairs. I would’ve loved to grab a glass of wine to enjoy while reading, but if I was going to be staying in his bed, it was probably best to be sober.

  “Lexi, girl.” I bent down and picked her up. “Let’s go read.”

  I put the tablet under my arm so I could pet Lexi on my way to his bedroom. Even going alone had me on edge. I wondered if he expected sex when he finished working out. Did I expect it? I looked at Jasmine’s door as I walked by. Could I have sex with her just a few feet away?

  I jumped when Jasmine called out? “Joseph? Is that you?”

  I thought about ignoring her and walking on to Joseph’s room, but no matter how uncomfortable I was with the situation, she was probably just as uncomfortable if not more so. She was the one who used to sleep in his bed.

  I cracked the door open. “No, it’s just me.” When I saw she was clothed, I opened the door. “Do you need something?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought it was Joseph.”

  “He’s in the basement working out. Do you want me to get him?”

  “No.” She waved her hand. “It can wait.”

  “Okay, I’ll tell him you want to talk to him if I see him.” I turned to go.

  “If you see him? I thought you were staying in his room. Is he sleeping on the sofa?”

  I turned back to face her. “I think he’s staying in his room, but I can never be sure what he’s going to do.”

  “You’ve slept together, right?”

  I hugged Lexi closer and cleared my throat. “Does it matter?”

  “I want to help you, but I don’t want to scare you off if you haven’t seen some things. The fact he’s letting you sleep in his bed with him is huge.” She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “I think he has introduced you to the wall. I’m just not sure how many times.”

  I placed the tablet onto the dresser as I walked over to the chair that was too small for Joseph. It was an awkward subject for me to discuss with a practical stranger, but I needed answers, and she had them. I sat with Lexi on my lap as I continued to pet her.

  “It was a spur-of-the-moment thing and completely unexpected, but it happened once.”

  “Unexpected?” She shook her head. “I’m going to need you to explain that to me. He didn’t discuss it with you before?”

  “No, it just kind of happened.”

  “I understand it isn’t easy talking to the woman who used to sleep with your guy, but I really want to help you.”

  “I’m perfectly comfortable.”

  “Rubbing the hair off your pussy is telling me something else.” She looked down to Lexi who was still on my lap.

  I stopped petting Lexi and let her go. She jumped as soon as she was free and ran out of the room. Maybe I was a little uncomfortable, but discussing my sex life wasn’t something I was used to.

  “Tell me what you need. I want to help him, Lindsey.”

  I looked at my lap and rubbed my palm on my leg. “I need Joseph. I’m not sure I can handle only having part of him.” I looked back up to Jasmine. “I’ll take this man any way he’ll have me, but I’m afraid of pushing too far, asking for too much, and having him shut me out for good.”

  “That is a possibility. I learned early on that I couldn’t push him at all. He wouldn’t take it from me, but then I never slept in his bed.”

  “Where would you sleep?”

  “In here.”

  I looked around. “You’d come in and have sex, but then you’d go to sleep in separate rooms?”

  “It wasn’t that quick or insensitive, but yes.”

  I slept with Joseph after each time we’d had sex. He didn’t kick me out of his room the first night, and in fact, he demanded I sleep in his bed. He didn’t go back to his room after we had sex in the guest room, either. He curled his body around mine and drifted off with me.

  “You’ve already slept—and I mean actual sleeping—in the same bed, haven’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “He won’t be able to ignore it forever, but I hope he doesn’t run scared when he figures it out.”

  “Ignore what?”

  “His greatest fear of all. That man is in love with you.”

  I scoffed. “That man won’t even kiss me, and until a couple of weeks ago, he just thought of me as a colleague.”

  “He’s loved you for as long as I’ve known him.” She laughed when I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. “I admit, I thought Joey and I could be something when I first started seeing him, but it didn’t take long to understand that he belonged to someone else. I know more about you than I know about Joey at this point.”

  “Why did you think he was in love with me?”

  “I knew he had a crush on you, but he never acted on it. The most intense nights we had sex were after friend dates with you. I was a little envious at first, but I realized Joey and I weren’t compatible except for sex. I was more than willing to reap those benefits. As far as I knew, you kept dating other men.”

  “I dated other men because I didn’t think he was interested.”

  “Well, now you know differently. What are you going to do about it?”

  “There isn’t much I can do about it. He wants the same arrangement you two had.”

  She shook her head. “I guess I should ask what are you willing to do to have the relationship you want with Joey?”

  “Anything.”

  “Help me out of this bed. We don’t have much time.”

  I watched her expression for any hint of deception. I couldn’t read any, but it didn’t stop me from being suspicious. “How do I know this isn’t some trick to get me kicked out?”

  She nodded. “You’re right. You don’t know me at all, so I could be trying to piss Joey off enough to kick you out. The only problem with that is I’m in love with Brian.”

  “But you came here to sleep with Prince.”

  “You’re right again. Brian and I aren’t two people who settle down. I think we’ve been burned enough that we didn’t think finding the one was possible. In a way, that’s why Joseph and I worked out so well together. He wasn’t looking for a happily ever after, either.

  “Sometimes love comes when you least expect it. Brian was definitely unexpected. We hit it off from the start before sex ever came up. We each have shit to work through, but we also think we’re worth the trouble of working through it. I have to find a career that keeps me home so we don’t have doubts about each other. That’s going to be the tricky part.”

  “Staying home?”

  “Yes, because I’ve always fled. If life gets too hard, I get on another plane. I won’t be able to do that with Brian. What’s scarier than that is I don’t want to. I missed him when I was on the road, but I needed the space. It’s what I knew.” She wiped a tear that had fallen.

  “You miss him now, don’t you?”

  “I really do, but if you want me to help you get the man of your dreams, stop making me cry and help my ass out of this bed.”

  My breath quickened when I heard the noise in the hallway. I had wondered if he was ever coming to bed, but I had resolved to stay in place all night if it was needed.

  Jasmine said the way to earn Joseph’s trust was to put myself under his complete control. I had to accept and welcome his terms, including the wall. She helped me to secure my wrists and added a blind
fold for good measure. I would’ve liked to have seen Joseph’s face when he walked in, but from the sounds of the door opening and silence afterward, I could imagine he was in total shock.

  I jumped when the door shut. Everything was quiet, and I wondered if he left the room. I could wait him out. I’d waited for him this long.

  I sucked in a breath when he cupped my breasts and ran his thumbs over my nipples. I couldn’t see what he was doing, but each touch was amplified.

  He leaned in, pressing his sweaty body to mine, and licked my ear. “Had I known you were up here like this, I would’ve skipped the workout. How long have you been waiting?”

  “Not long.” I dropped my head and rested it on his shoulder when he reached between my legs. “Oh.”

  “I assume you had help getting this set up.”

  It was difficult to concentrate on his question with his fingers rubbing my clit. I nodded and cried out when he took his fingers away.

  I heard him chuckle as he walked away. “The plans I have for you will be well worth it.” His voice was deep and distant. I knew he was getting a condom before I ever heard the wrapper. The anticipation was killing me.

  My breathing and the blood pounding in my ears were the only sounds I could hear. I licked my lips when I felt his breath on me. He was close, but still not touching me.

  My legs were taken out from under me and wrapped around his waist as he plunged into me. I grabbed the sconces and pulled myself up. He grabbed my hips and pulled me back down as he continued thrusting.

  “Oh, God.” I couldn’t catch my breath. I leaned my head against the wall when I felt him circle my nipple with his tongue followed by a stinging bite. “Fuck.”

  I leaned my cheek into his palm when he cupped my face to pull me closer to him. I hoped he was going to kiss me, but he whispered instead.

  “Do you want to fuck?”

  All I could do was nod. I thought we already were, but it sounded as if he had more to offer, and I’d be damned if I didn’t want it. I whispered back, “Fuck me, Joseph.”

  There was little doubt that I’d have bruises left as reminders with how hard he gripped my hips. He pulled me away from the wall and stretched my arms out. It was uncomfortable at first, but when he started thrusting again, the angle he had my hips more than made up for it. He was hitting places that almost caused instant orgasms.