Behind His Walls

by B. L. Mooney

  “You’ve already apologized, Joseph.”

  “Yes, but you haven’t accepted it yet.”

  “Fine. I accept your apology.” She washed her hands once she was finished putting the leftovers into the refrigerator. I handed her a towel and pulled her close when she grabbed it. “Joseph.”

  I wrapped my arms around her and wouldn’t let her go. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do to make this better.”

  She didn’t hug me back and kept her arms hanging by her sides. “Give me time. I haven’t had a moment to myself since Elizabeth came over.” She placed her hands on my hips and gave me a little bit of hope that she could forgive me until she pushed to get out of my embrace. “I’m going to read for a little while.”

  I let her go and watched her walk away. Before Lindsey, I let them go if they wanted to walk away because it didn’t matter to me. I had no idea how to stop her. I thought about calling Elizabeth, but she was Lindsey’s friend not mine. She knew something was going on between us when I interrupted their conversation, but I didn’t want to explain it to her.

  I grabbed my phone and called the only other woman I knew who didn’t need any explanation. She already knew I could be an asshole.

  “Hello.” It was her boyfriend who answered.

  “Hi, Brian. Is Jasmine available?”

  “Yeah, she’s getting a drink, but she’ll be back soon.”

  “How’s she doing? I know what she tells me, but you see her. Is she really getting better?”

  “She’s still sore around the ribs, but her arm is looking a lot better. Did you still want to talk to her?”

  “Yeah, I fucked up and need a woman’s opinion.”

  He laughed. I’d never heard the man laugh before, but I shouldn’t be surprised that he found my current situation funny. “And you called the woman who could be the most spiteful to tell you what to do to get back in your girl’s good graces? Oh, man. That had to be a royal fuck up.”

  “Why are you on my phone?” I could hear Jasmine in the background. She wasn’t amused. “I don’t answer your phone, so please don’t answer mine.”

  I heard the phone switch to her hands and a muffled “sorry” from Brian. It looked as if Brian had found himself in his own doghouse he needed to try to get out of.

  “Hello.” Jasmine’s voice made me smile, no matter how pissed she sounded.

  “Hi.”

  “Joey!” Her irritated voice melted into a happy one. “Wait, what did he say to you? Or what did you say to him? He was laughing pretty hard there.”

  “He said that you were doing much better, and that I must have really fucked up if I called you for advice on my punishment.”

  “Yeah, well, he’s going to find his own punishment after we hang up. What did you do?”

  The light moment was over, and I was thrown back into my reality of a pissed-off Lindsey upstairs. “I didn’t trust her.”

  “Oh, that’s big. It’s going to take something equally big. Are you willing to do whatever it takes?”

  “Yes.”

  “I hope you mean that.”

  I hung up with Jasmine and shook my head. I wasn’t sure I could do what she told me was needed. I agreed with her, but it was still difficult to execute her plan.

  I walked upstairs, ready to put it in action and noticed the guest room light was on. I tapped on the door and opened it. Lindsey was in bed reading the tablet. “Are you sleeping in here tonight?”

  “What?” She looked at the time and shook her head. “No, I wanted my own space and didn’t want to kick you out of your room. I’m just a few minutes away from finishing this book, and I’ll be right in. Okay?”

  “Sure. Take your time.”

  I backed out of the room and closed the door. If she only had a few minutes left, I needed to make the most of them before she came in.

  I undressed as I walked to my bedroom and prayed it worked. If it didn’t, I wasn’t sure what else I could do to prove it to her. I moved her suitcase to the other side of the room and grabbed the straps from my dresser. I wrapped them around my wrists and turned to look at the wall I’d used to control the women in my life.

  I was about to let Lindsey control me, and it was terrifying. I stepped up to the wall and turned around, putting my hands above my head. I fought a little with the one-handed maneuver to secure myself to the sconces, but I’d had enough practice that I got both wrists secured.

  The waiting was the worst part. I’d gotten semi-hard thinking about the possibilities of Lindsey coming in and having her way with me, but the possibility that she’d have nothing to do with me kept me from being completely aroused.

  I heard the guest room door open, and I held my breath. I watched as my bedroom doorknob turned and clenched my fists. It was the moment of truth—hopefully for the both of us. I’d find out if she was honest when she said I was worth hanging on to, and she’d find out how much I did trust her.

  Or my entire world would fall apart.

  She stepped inside, focused on the tablet, and turned to the dresser. She set the tablet down and rubbed her eyes. She must have been tired from reading. She stretched, and when she opened her eyes, they locked on mine in the mirror.

  “Joseph?” She turned and looked at me. She looked around. “Did you do that?”

  “Yes, there’s no one else in here. I’d like to keep it that way. Could we close the door?”

  She looked at the opened bedroom door. “Oh, of course.” She walked over and closed it, but didn’t turn back to me right away.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m not sure.” She turned to me. “What is this? Why are you up there?”

  “To prove I trust you. I’ve never been on the receiving end of the wall before, but I want to be with you.”

  She put her fingers up to her chin. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with you.”

  I narrowed my eyes. Is she teasing? She can’t be serious that she doesn’t know what to do. I cleared my throat. “Do whatever you want.”

  She looked at my cock and licked her lips. I looked to the ceiling as my dick got hard. I couldn’t see her lick her lips without getting hard.

  “That’s better.” Lindsey walked up to me and ran her hand down my chest. “I can do whatever I want?”

  I swallowed. “Yes.”

  She dropped to her knees and smiled. “Good. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”

  She put her hands on my thighs and rubbed my legs. Her warm breath on my cock was making me harder. I assumed the piercing made it uncomfortable for women to provide oral sex, so I never asked for it, but I desperately wanted her lips around me.

  She wrapped one hand around me at the base and tilted her head. “Maybe I can get two hands on you.”

  “What?” I looked down as she looked up.

  “You told me I could wrap both of my hands around you.” She wrapped her other hand around me and squeezed. “Would you look at that? I do still have some left over for my pretty little mouth.”

  I closed my eyes when the tip met her wet tongue, but I sucked air into my lungs when she removed her hands and took more of me into her mouth.

  “Oh, God.” I tried to take my hand down to put it on her head, but I was strapped in. I looked up and cursed myself. I looked back down to Lindsey’s head bobbing as she sucked me off. “Fuck.” Her tongue was hot everywhere she put it—the underside, the tip, and even on my balls.

  I bent my knees a little when she hit the back of her throat. “Fuck.” She squeezed her hand as she ran it up and down my shaft while she sucked on what was in her mouth. I couldn’t handle it.

  “Lindsey, I’m so close.”

  “Not yet.” She slipped me out of her mouth, and the cool air hit like me a ton of bricks. I watched her get undressed and smiled as she did it. “I like this game. We should play it more often.”

  She came up and kissed me while her hand stroked my cock. The cool air had taken some of the punch away, b
ut Lindsey was heating it back up.

  “I want to fuck you.”

  She backed away and smiled. “You will.” She turned around and bent over, giving me quite the view. “Come and get it.”

  I started to walk, but the straps kept me in place. I growled and tried to jerk my hands free. “Come on!”

  She laughed, stood up straight, and walked backward to me, pressing the entire back of her body against me as much as she could. “I’m waiting.”

  I leaned down and kissed her neck before I bit her shoulder. “I’m trying. It isn’t easy from this angle.”

  “How about this angle?” She bent over at the waist again and pressed herself into me. Reaching between her legs, she grabbed my cock and guided it to her. “Fuck me, Joseph.”

  I thrust forward. She wrapped her arms around my legs to keep herself upright. I couldn’t hold her to keep her in place, so I was glad she figured out how to do it on her own. I was still working on the straps, but continued to thrust as deep as I could.

  I was able to get one strap free, but didn’t say anything. I wanted her to think I was still tied to the wall. The other strap didn’t take long at all since I could use two hands. I gripped the sconces to keep my hands up as I continued to pump into her. When she reached with one hand to rub her clit, it was all I could take.

  I grabbed her hips and lifted her in the air. She squealed and laughed as I turned her around and tossed her onto the bed.

  “What did you say a few minutes ago?”

  She smiled and spread her legs, reaching between them to rub her clit again. “Fuck me, Joseph.”

  I landed on top of her and placed her hands above her head. “I think I need to remind you just who is in control here.”

  She smiled and reached up to caress my face. “I don’t think it’s either one of us.”

  “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” I leaned in and kissed her again.

  Our movements were in sync that night as if we both had put our complete trust into each other, and even though it was fast, aggressive, and all-consuming, I never felt more at peace.

  “It’s been two weeks, Phil! I have to get back to my clients. We’re nowhere closer to finding him.”

  “That’s all the more reason to keep things under our control, Lindsey. Do you want him to make a move with one of your clients in the office? How is that going to help them?”

  Lindsey and Phil had argued about it for days. Being cooped up with little outside stimulation was making her feel claustrophobic. I tried to provide as much variety in our day as I could, but even I was feeling the effects of being in one place for too long.

  “I need to get out. I can’t keep going like this.”

  I felt for Lindsey, but her safety was more important to me than being able to leave the house. I would’ve stayed in that house forever for her.

  Phil hung his head and sighed. “Where would you want to go if you were able to go somewhere?”

  She stopped pacing and turned to look at him. “Don’t tease me with this.”

  “I’m not. As soon as Aaron gets here, we’ll take you two out, but we have to stay with you.”

  “I don’t care where we go.”

  I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close. “I’ll go wherever you want to go.”

  “Let’s go to the mall. I want to get some new clothes.” She looked at Phil. “But you’ll need to stay outside of one store.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “May I come in?”

  She looked at me over her shoulder. “If you think you can handle it.”

  I chased her upstairs to get ready for our day of shopping. I dreaded the mall, but I was intrigued at the store she wanted to keep Phil out of. I had a feeling I knew which sexy store she was alluding to, and I hoped I was right.

  Walking with my arm around Lindsey was both for her protection and because I was proud that she was on my arm. She wrapped her arm around my waist as we walked. I’d been out with her before, but never so casual and free. It was a nice change.

  She started on the opposite side of the mall where the store she wanted to go to was on. I knew she was prolonging her trip out of the house, but I didn’t mind at all. She was a different person when we left. She was still Lindsey at home, but she came alive with the fresh air and new surroundings.

  It was easier for her to laugh at my jokes, the smile never left her face, and she was starting to be nice to Phil again. He and Aaron stayed close, but not so close that we were constantly reminded they were with us. It was always in the back of our minds, but we still enjoyed ourselves regardless.

  We’d walked past the third jewelry store, and I looked at them longer each time we passed. There were couples looking at rings in each of them. I looked down to Lindsey and squeezed her closer.

  I’d never thought about marrying anyone. I was content to live out my life on my own with only friendship from Lindsey. I learned to be alone. It was an adjustment to be with Lindsey, but it was an adjustment I’d enjoyed making. I wondered if it was too soon to think about those things. What if she wasn’t ready for marriage?

  We passed a baby store, and my eyes narrowed as I looked to the floor. Would she want children? She would make a wonderful mother, but was I capable of being a good dad? Did I want to find out?

  I saw a sign for the restrooms, and I took a hard right. “I need a minute.”

  I let go of her and went to the men’s restroom. I ran the water and splashed my face with water that wasn’t cold enough. Aaron came in after me.

  “You okay there? Was it something from the food court?”

  “No, I’m not sick.” I splashed water onto my face again, and nothing helped.

  “What seems to be the problem?”

  “Kids.” I didn’t know why I blurted out my newest fear to someone I’d barely spoken to, but I couldn’t keep it in. I splashed water again.

  Aaron looked behind him and laughed. “Oh, you mean your future kids. I thought kids had come in, but you got spooked by the baby store we just walked by, didn’t you?”

  I gave up on the water and grabbed a few paper towels. “Yes, I did. I’ve never thought about a wife, let alone kids and probably a dog, too. We have a damn cat already.”

  “Are you and Lindsey engaged?”

  “No.”

  “Way to put the cart before the horse there, buddy.” He shook his head and leaned against the counter. “Whenever I’m freaking out about a possible future I have no idea if I want or not, I envision it up here before I get too worked up over it.” He tapped the side of his head. “It’s safe to say you like Lindsey, or you wouldn’t be thinking about marrying her. So, imagine yourself on your knee, popping the question.”

  “It would be more creative than just bending on my knee. I can tell you that.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “Okay, however you want to propose, imagine yourself doing that. Now, imagine her saying yes.”

  I smiled as I imagined her excited and crying while her hand shook as I slipped her ring onto her finger.

  “She said yes, you’re married, and living a great life. Now, imagine it’s her turn to make her own proposal, if you will.”

  I turned my head and narrowed my eyes. “I don’t follow.”

  “Telling your husband you’re pregnant is the equivalent to proposing marriage, in my opinion. You’re both nervous as hell how the other will react and accept what you have to say.”

  I nodded. I could see his point.

  “Okay, so imagine her cute way of telling you she’s pregnant. How do you feel?”

  I turned back to the sink and splashed water again.

  “Stop.” He turned me around and handed me a paper towel. “Let’s skip ahead. She’s eight months pregnant and thinks she’s as big as a house. Can you see her belly growing with your child inside? Imagine that you put your hand on her belly and feel the baby kick.

  “It’s a beautiful feeling, and you crouch down and talk to the baby. You rub her belly
and tell her how beautiful she is because there’s nothing more beautiful than a woman carrying your child.”

  I no longer felt the need to splash water onto my face, but I was still a little nervous. Lindsey would be a beautiful mom during pregnancy and after.

  “Then imagine playing baseball or football or maybe soccer with your kid. You get to watch them grow and shape them to be the best possible them that they can be all while realizing much later on in life that it was them who shaped the best possible you.”

  I looked at Aaron. “Do you really think that?”

  “If you’re a good person, yes. An asshole is an asshole, no matter how many kids they have, but a dad like I know you would be someday, will move mountains to make sure your kid has the best possible chance at life.

  “You don’t have to give them the world; you just have to show them it’s there for them to conquer and hopefully give them the tools to do that.”

  “Hey.” Phil walked in with Lindsey behind him. Her eyes were closed. “What’s going on in here?”

  Aaron walked over to Lindsey, turned her around, and walked her back out of the restroom. “I told him not to have that burrito. Never trust mall burritos. Hard telling how long it sat under that heat lamp.”

  Phil gave me a disgusted look before he walked out. I shook my head and followed. Letting Lindsey think it was an upset stomach was better than letting her know I was freaking out over kids we didn’t have yet.

  My mood lifted when we walked to the store I was waiting for all day. I looked at Lindsey when she tugged my hand away from the store. “What’s wrong?”

  “I think you’ve had enough excitement for the day. We probably shouldn’t shake up your system too much.” She laughed when I pulled her in behind me.

  “You’re going to deliver on this experience. I’ve thought about it all day.”

  She smiled and let go of my hand to look through the clothes. She held a few things up to show what they could look like on her. I smiled at each one, but there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t love to see her in from that store.

  I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist as she looked. “You know these will all be ripped within minutes of putting them on, don’t you?”