“That’s not an actual answer.”
I shoved my hands through my hair again and sank back into my chair. “Woman shit.”
Serge snorted. “Are you being literal or misogynistic?”
“I mean it’s about a woman, asshole.”
“What’s that I hear? Woman trouble? In need of advice? That’s right up my alley!” Parker appeared in the doorway behind Serge, startling both of us.
How she’d managed to creep up on two apex predators, I’d never know, especially with a newborn in her arms. I stood, suddenly feeling very awkward like a kid caught with his hand in the metaphorical cookie jar. The metaphorical cookie jar, in this instance, being her best friend.
“Hey, Parker. Uh-oh, hand that baby over.” Serge was already reaching for the infant, his excitement evident.
Parker’s eyes glistened with tears as she proudly placed her tiny daughter in Serge’s massive arms. “Sorry. It’s the hormones. I’ve been crying at the drop of a hat. She’s just so perfect, isn’t she?”
“She certainly is.” Serge held the baby like she was made of spun sugar as he rocked her and grinned down at her. “Hey, little Stella. I’m your Uncle Serge. Yeah, I’m going to spoil the shit out of you.”
“Hey! No swearing in front of the baby.” Parker’s hands flew to her hips about the same time Maxim appeared behind her, wrapping his arms around her. “She’s got plenty of time to learn all those words on her own.”
Parker turned her focus to me and raised her eyebrows. “I hear I have you to thank for helping Laila finish the nursery.”
I stood up. “She mentioned that? What did she say about me?”
Parker’s eyes twinkled and I realized I’d walked right into a trap. I was a retired spook who’d just walked into a set up a pimple-faced adolescent boy could spot a mile away. “Well, well, well.” Parker wore a shit-eating grin. “She didn’t mention a whole lot. Should she have?”
Maxim laughed. “Don’t try to hide shit from her, man. She’s a bloodhound disguised as a bunny. Plus, our entire house smelled of dog when we got home this morning.”
I growled at him. Laila didn’t smell like dog.
Before I could admonish him, Parker beat me to it. “That’s my best friend you’re talking about.”
Maxim held his hands up in surrender. “I’m not saying it as an insult. Polar bears have an excellent sense of smell is all.”
“I’m taking this cutie pie to see Hannah.” As Serge walked out, he was muttering to himself something about getting his mate pregnant so Stella could have a playmate.
Maxim looked torn, unsure whether to stay with his mate or follow his daughter. Parker just rolled her eyes and pushed him away. “Go on, go with Stella. I know you can’t bear to let her out of your sight yet. I need to talk to Gray about his info for the site, anyway.”
I waited until Maxim had walked away before shaking my head. “I’m not participating in your matchmaking venture, Parker.”
“I figured as much.” She grinned. “And I’m pretty sure I also figured out why. Tell me, Gray, why might a top-secret super spy agent guy like you volunteer to spend his evening decorating a nursery to help someone who’s practically a stranger?”
I leaned against my desk, more prepared for her inquisition. “Maxim isn’t a stranger. We’re coworkers now.”
“Try again.” She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to the side. “I’ve got time to wait for you to tell me the truth.”
I shrugged. “That is the truth.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not. Tell me why you helped Laila. Does it have anything to do with the reason you won’t fill out the paperwork?”
Serge came back in right then, grinning. “Hold up. Is Laila the woman you’re all torn up about?”
Maxim appeared, cooing gently to his tiny baby girl, who was tucked snugly in the crook of his thickly muscled arms. “What about Laila?”
“Weren’t you and Serge going somewhere?” I growled.
“Hannah’s on the phone, long distance with her nana.”
Parker cleared her throat. “Before you two start interfering in our conversation and change the subject, I was just getting to the bottom of something.”
I shook my head and pressed my lips together tightly.
“Come on, Gray, spit it out. I don’t have all day. I’m minutes from needing to breastfeed, and unless you want me to whip out a tit so y’all can watch, I need an answer pronto.”
Maxim’s growl vibrated through the office and made Stella startle and her little fist flail. “Don’t make me kill everyone here.”
Parker was mumbling something beneath her breath about it being a normal, natural thing for a mother to nurse her baby and that he shouldn’t make it into something sexual, but even she knew there was nothing she could say to placate him. Hey, alpha male to alpha male, I could relate.
I rolled my eyes and sank into my chair. “I’m just not interested in a mate matching site, okay?”
“Because you’ve already found a mate, and she’s someone whom we shall not name but who happens to be, oh, I don’t know, be my best friend, maybe?”
I stared at the pint-sized rabbit shifter with the purple hair, tattoos, and facial piercings and was tempted to crack a joke about how throughout the history of evolution, my kind would have made a tasty snack out of one of her kind. But it was obvious that Maxim was currently in alpha bear protective mode, hovering over his two females, ready to tear apart any and all threats to either of them. There was no way he was in any frame of mind to let a joke about one of them being eaten roll off.
“Are you ashamed of her? You plan on rejecting her or something? Why else would you not claim her?” Goading me, Parker raised her pierced eyebrow as she took Stella from Maxim and rocked her gently. She didn’t break eye contact with me. She was daring me to let that comment stand. Daring me to let her insinuate that.
Growling, I cracked the other arm clean off my chair. “Ashamed? Fuck no, I’m not ashamed of Laila. I would never reject her; she’s amazing. She’s smart and caring and beautiful. And, yes, she is my mate.”
A shrill scream came from the little rabbit, scaring her baby, but she just handed Stella back to Maxim and rushed over to wrap me in a hug. “I knew it!”
Maxim was doing a low growl, and I got his message loud and clear. It was a warning that if I dared hug his mate back, I was toast. Parker just rolled her eyes and cupped my cheek. “She is amazing, isn’t she?”
Unable to stifle a smile, I nodded. Yeah, Laila was all that and then some. “Parker, here’s the thing. She doesn’t know. Her wolf…”
The joy faded from Parker as realization set in, and she stepped back. “Her wolf might come out with some coaxing. Some help from a patient mate. Laila’s probably scared, and her wolf is definitely scared. Some things happened. Things that hurt her wolf terribly. You just need to convince her that it’s okay, that it’s safe to come out.”
“Someone hurt her?” Suddenly, I was hit with a wave of fury. My vision flashed red, and my wolf’s hackles stood on end. No one had better dared to touch our mate. Not now, not ever.
Parker shook her head. “Not my story to tell. Just be gentle with her wolf—with her.” She smiled but her eyes were cold as ice. “Hurt my best friend and I’ll show you why wolf shifters don’t fuck with rabbit shifters anymore.”
“Language!” Maxim snapped. “But I second the sentiment.”
13
Laila
Walking to my car after a long day of work, the last thing I expected to see was Gray leaning against it. My heart instantly beat out an increasingly rapid tempo until it felt as though I had a big bass drum behind my ribcage. I stumbled on thin air. Fortunately, I caught myself before I took a tumble on the pavement and made a fool of myself, but I couldn’t do anything about my warming cheeks except curse them and force a smile. “Hey.”
Gray flashed a grin that lit up his face. He looked genuinely glad to see me,
and his eyes held a twinkle that made me suspect he knew something I didn’t. “You didn’t think you were getting out of wolf lessons, did you?”
I made sure to keep a little distance from him as I skirted him and dropped my bag into the back seat of my car. “I didn’t know if that was still on or what.”
Chuckling, Gray just nodded and reached out to lightly run his finger over my cheek. “Make a wish.”
I swallowed so loud that I didn’t think anyone needed wolf senses to hear it. Jammie and October probably heard it inside the salon. “W-what?”
“Eyelash. You’re supposed to make a wish.”
“Oh, yeah. Thanks.”
“Come on. Wolf lessons. Back in the marsh, before it gets dark and spooky.”
At a loss for words, I just nodded and got into my car to follow him. I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting. Well, I knew what I’d been thinking all day. That I’d put out so fast and easy for him, and now that he’d gotten what he wanted, he wouldn’t be back to bother with me. There he was, though. Bothering with me.
As I followed him to his house, I tried to make sense of what he wanted with me—why he was still showering attention on me. I knew he wasn’t the dating type. Everyone knew that about Gray, despite the fact that so many women on the island were intent on trying their hand at changing it. So, what was he doing spending more of his time with me? Was he truly just set on helping another wolf get her shit together?
A sliver of a half-formed thought crept into my mind. Could it be that he and I were mates somehow? No, that was ridiculous. Sure, I felt an incredibly strong attraction to him. But so did the majority of the women on Sunkissed Key. Plus, according to what Parker said, if I was his mate he’d know right away. And, I couldn’t forget that he’d specifically answered Parker’s questionnaire by saying he didn’t want a mate. I thought back to all the interaction we’d had since we’d first met. He’d been flirty and playful with me, he’d generously helped with Stella’s nursery, the sex had been mind blowing, but he’d made no mention—not even a hint—about anything having to do with mates.
I swore under my breath as I pulled up and parked behind him. He was just being a stand-up guy, helping me out. That was something people did. Friends, but with benefits. Maybe that’s what he wanted. Or, maybe, the benefits part was over after the other night. Lord only knew he could have his pick of women, a different one every night if he wanted. He sure didn’t have to spend time giving me lessons or assembling baby furniture to get laid.
He was standing outside my car door watching me with a smirk on his handsome face. His eyes crinkled at the corners and that damn dimple was right there, all sexy and alluring as I pushed open the door. “I was starting to wonder if you’d changed your mind.”
I forced a laugh that sounded strained even to my own ears and got out. “Just thinking I should keep a pair of tennis shoes in the car if we’re going to be doing wolf lessons regularly.”
As his eyes raked down my body, his gaze became more heated. That yellow that I knew to be his wolf flashed, and his smile faded when he got to my feet. “Those are…something.”
I looked down at my heels and grinned. I loved designer shoes. The strappy Louboutin sandals I had on crisscrossed up my calves and lent me an extra six inches of height. They’d cost me a month of eating cheap hot dogs and boxed mac and cheese, but they were worth every cent. I intentionally paired them with my favorite flowy, short dress because I felt it showed them off. “You like?”
He growled. “You can wear those later tonight.”
My stomach tightened and I felt butterfly flutters all the way down to tickle my clit. No way could I have my kept my lips from curving up into a smile. That comment meant the friendly benefits were on. No complaints here. No matter what my stupid heart might want, my head was okay with us being friends with benefits and nothing more. The benefits were well worth it.
“Help me take them off? I don’t think they’re meant for walking through the marsh.” Hey, if he could flirt with me, I could flirt back, right? Two could play the flirty friend game.
He dropped to his knees in front of me and took my foot in his hands. As he looked up at me, his eyes flickered with a fiery passion. “Are you trying to distract me from your lessons?”
I giggled but it turned into a soft moan as Gray ran his fingers in a feather-light stroke up and down my leg. Unwinding the velvet ties that went up my legs, he let the material brush over his knuckles before slipping each of the shoes off my feet.
“Who knew a pair of shoes could be so goddamn sexy? But I suppose it depends entirely on the leg they adorn.” He shook his head and gently placed them on the roof of my car.
I gave him a look, feeling a little more confident after seeing that he was affected by me, too. “Come on, spy man. You’re telling me that you never had a Bond girl who rocked sexy stilettos?”
He boxed me in and leaned in close to my face, his forearms resting on the hood of my car on either side of my head. “There’s only one woman running through my mind. If a woman before you wore stilettos, or mukluks or rubber fishing waders, I can’t recall. Hell, I can’t even recall if there has been any woman before you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the only woman I’ve ever noticed—the only one I’ve ever wanted to notice.”
My mouth went dry, my pulse hammered in my ears. I wanted to say something to lighten the mood, but I couldn’t think of a single thing. I basked in that statement instead. I let it wash over me until I felt like the woman he saw when he looked at me. If that was a pickup line, it was the best one I’d ever heard.
“Come on, little wolf. Time to start real lessons. No more distractions.”
I swallowed hard and followed him back into the marsh. In the daylight, it wasn’t nearly as creepy. I had an urge to climb onto Gray’s wide shoulders to get away from whatever creatures were surely hiding in the tall grass, though. Gators, no doubt.
“Let’s start with the basics. Do you use any of your wolf senses?”
I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling put on the spot. The answer was embarrassing, especially when it seemed most of my friends these days were either shifters or mates of shifters. There were a lot of shifters in my life but none were clueless about their shifter side like I was. I was a useless shifter. “No.”
“You haven’t been able to master anything in the last year?” His tone was gentle, the look in his eyes soft.
I looked away and shook my head. “This hasn’t exactly been something that I’ve welcomed.”
Gray must have noticed my discomfort. “I’ll make you a promise.” He took my hand and rested it on his chest. “I promise you that you’re going to love it. There’s nothing else like it. We’ve just got to get you over the initial hump.”
Snorting a laugh, I pulled my hand back and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “I think we did the initial humping last night.”
Laughing loudly, Gray bit his lip and took me by the shoulders. “I set that up for you, didn’t I?
“I couldn’t resist.”
“Okay, Seinfeld, now close your eyes. We’ll start with the easy stuff.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. “Okay, what now?”
He leaned closer. “Just take a breath—inhale deeply, consciously. Share the breath with your wolf. Let her breathe in with you.”
I tightened my fists at my sides and licked my lips. It wasn’t easy. None of this was easy for me. Still, I inhaled, thinking about the way the air felt as it entered my lungs. I’d practiced yoga in the past. I could do focused breathing all day long. It was the part about involving my wolf and sharing the breath with her that felt strange and awkward. She was so difficult to connect with. She was just this…frightened animal, cowering, hiding away. She didn’t want to come out.
“Relax, little wolf.” Gray moved closer, towering over me as he shifted his hand to rest over my heart. “Come out and play, sweetheart. C’mon, girl.”
He was speaking to her. And dam
n if she didn’t poke her head up. I felt her then, strong—stronger than ever before. She wanted to come out for him. Sucking in a deep breath, I startled when I noticed the change. Scents! The intensity of the scents was different.
Gray smelled like leather and coriander and woodsmoke and lime, a masculine scent that was uniquely him. Under his unique aroma, I was able to scent everything about him. He’d showered before coming to meet me, with some kind of deodorant soap—Dial. It was Dial soap. Even so, I could still smell myself on him, our mingled scents, the smell of sex we had the night before.
Then, as my mind reached out, the smell of salt water and sand and mud and the grass under our feet—it all hit me. She was coming out, coaxed by Gray.
“That’s it, baby. Come on out for me.”
Too much. Oh no, it was too much. Anxiety. Fear. Panic. I wasn’t ready. She couldn’t come out. I slammed whatever wall there was, whatever barrier was between us, back into place. I stumbled backwards, away from Gray. When he reached for me, I held up my hands and shook my head harshly.
“No, please. I just… I need to go home. I can’t. I’m sorry.” I barely remembered running back to my car, diving in and slamming the door. I forgot all about my shoes being on the hood. It didn’t matter. I just needed to go home and hide. I wasn’t ready.
14
Gray
I closed myself in my office the next morning and pulled up a special search engine that I shouldn’t still have access to. Thanks to some very dangerous assignments and being in the right place at the right time, there were a couple of people at my previous place of employment who owed me their lives. I’d racked up favors and I felt this was as good a time as any to call them in. Using a government login, I researched Laila. Maybe a better man would’ve waited for her to tell him everything in her own time, but I wasn’t that man. I knew that someone exhibiting the symptoms Laila had shown sometimes needed nudging—some tough love. Other times, pushing too hard could be detrimental and cause more harm than good, and what worked best was time and a lot of patience. I was determined to see that Laila got what she needed. Furthermore, I intended to be the person who gave it to her. But for that, I had to know what I was dealing with. There was something dark behind Laila’s being afraid of letting her wolf out, of that I was convinced. Something traumatic.
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