Shifter Starter Set

by Candace Ayers

  “You lived your entire childhood with that kind of abuse?”

  “Well, by the time I was twelve, the beatings and crating stopped. That was when I had more control over my animal, and I let him know one night that if he ever touched me again, his obituary would appear in the next day’s newspaper as ‘man mauled to death by wolves.’ Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Our wolves aren’t our enemies, and they aren’t some foreign invader taking over our bodies. They are our kindred spirits, a part of us. They’re our other halves. I want to see you accept your wolf and allow yourself to feel that connection.”

  “What’s it like to not fight it constantly?”

  I grinned. “Let me show you how good it can be, little wolf.”

  “I don’t think this is a good time for sex, Gray.”

  I laughed, a full-on, deep gut laugh. “Not what I meant, but I feel like with you around, it’s never not a good time for sex.”

  Cheeks red, she uncrossed her arms and slapped my bicep. “Down, boy.”

  “Come on. I want to do something with you.” I winked at her. “Just in case your mind is still in the gutter, I’m not talking about sex. Not right now, anyway.”

  Grinning, she followed me as I led her to the edge of the marsh, a place we’d still be hidden enough to shift, but could still see the ocean. She hesitated, frowning at me, the worry evident in her beautiful features.

  “Relax. You’re safe with me. Have fun, Laila. Let your hair down and let’s live a little.” I leaned into her and took her hand. “I would never let anything happen to you. You’re safe with me.”

  Her eyes were wary, but I watched as her determination won out over her fear. Straightening her spine, she nodded. “Clearly, I was wrong about being able to force my wolf back into hiding. I need to embrace this.”

  “You do.” With me. I leaned in and stole a quick, somewhat chaste, kiss from her. It was entirely too short, but it would have to do. “Come on. Show me how you shift, little wolf.”

  “It’s…it’s not that easy.”

  “We’ve got time. I’m going to shift and sit here with you. When you’re ready, you shift, too.”

  She looked surprised. “You’re going to shift, too?”

  I grinned and nodded. “I’m not letting you have all the fun.”

  She settled at the edge of the marsh, in the sand, and wrapped her arms around her knees. She looked back at me nervously. “Don’t bite me the way I bit you, okay?”

  “I only bite in ways that you’d like, baby.” I waggled my eyebrows and as she laughed, I shifted. Seamlessly, I transitioned into my animal—a large, chocolate-brown wolf with blonde patches of fur.

  I sat next to Laila and let her look at me. Preening under our mate’s inspection, my wolf’s tail flicked sand everywhere. My wolf was ready to run with his mate. I was watching Laila for signs of distress. She seemed to just be amazed, though.

  “Holy shit. I never actually saw another wolf shifter up close like this.”

  I leaned toward her and ran my tongue over her cheek. When she squealed and shoved her hands into my fur, giggling, my wolf all but purred like a kitten.

  “You’re beautiful.” When I huffed, she giggled again. “Alright, magnificent. Is that better? It’s true. And you’re huge. You’d never be able to pass as a dog, or even a regular wolf.”

  I raised my snout in the air and let out a long howl and buried my head in her lap.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing, Gray. My life hasn’t settled down since I found out everything, and I just missed being normal.” Stroking my head, she sighed. “We aren’t normal, are we? You and I, we’re something else. We’re…magnificent.”

  I licked her face again before running a few yards away into the sand. I turned and wagged my tail at her, then barked playfully, beckoning her to follow.

  Laila didn’t shift gracefully. Not yet, anyway. It was slow and looked painful, but it was smoother than the first time, and I suspected every shift would be easier than the last. Her body contorted and reshaped itself until her stunning white wolf that had been hiding away emerged and turned its striking silver eyes on me. Our first shift together. Awestruck by her beauty and the magnitude of the moment, I almost forgot what I was doing.

  I intended to show my mate some fun. I wanted her wolf to know what life could be like without constant worry and fear. Normal was fine, unless you could be magnificent.

  22

  Laila

  “Just so we’re clear, I’m not leaving until I’m good and wasted.” I looked up at Mimi and gave her an “I’m very serious” expression. “I mean it.”

  Mimi slapped a bottle of whiskey down in front of me and nodded. “Got it. Drink up, blondie.”

  I settled heavily onto my barstool and breathed out a big sigh before pouring myself a few fingers of whiskey. I’d walked to Mimi’s Cabana straight from the salon and it was still early, so the dance floor was bare at that moment, and the place was empty except for a few locals in the back corner. It was nice; I needed the space to think.

  I was just starting to feel a little tingle of warmth from the whiskey when Grace Lowe plopped down next to me. I looked at her in shock and almost groaned when a telling blush colored my cheeks. I was sleeping with her brother. It was embarrassing to have to face her. “Hey, Grace.”

  She grinned at me. “Hey, yourself. What’s up?”

  “Just having a drink after a long day at work. What are you doing here?”

  A wide grin spread over her face. “Would you believe me if I said I was walking by, noticed you, and decided that the whole group of us hadn’t gotten together in far too long? And that I invited everyone here?”

  I took another long pull from my whiskey. “Everyone? Who’s everyone?”

  “Everyone.” She waggled her brows. “So…” She threw an arm over my shoulders. “How’s life been treating you?”

  I cringed. I wanted to run—hike up my long skirt and beat feet the hell out of there as fast as I could. I genuinely liked Grace. I liked all of Parker’s new friends. They’d even become my friends. (It was a small island.) I just wasn’t sure I could handle being in a crowd or being social tonight. Everything in my life had been changing so fast that I was left tired, stressed, and my head was spinning. And Gray…Gray was on my mind constantly. Over and over again I reminded myself he wasn’t my mate, but how could I not fall for the guy? We may not have known each other long, but he’d been my rock since the day we met. And that was no small thing considering the emotional crisis through which he’d stood by me.

  No matter what my wolf thought, I needed to protect my heart. I wasn’t at full strength yet, I knew that. I was still vulnerable both mentally and emotionally and I had been spending way too much time with Gray. Early mornings, lunch breaks, evenings, and all-nights. I couldn’t stay away from him. I tried—but just when I thought I could, he showed up, almost like he couldn’t stay away either. It was torment on a hopeful heart.

  “Laila?”

  I snapped back to attention and forced a smile. “You know, I’m not feeling very well all of a sudden. I hate to run, but I think I need to get home.”

  “Hey! Where do you think you’re going?!” Parker came in with Stella strapped to her chest and Maxim stomping along behind her, mean-mugging anyone who so much as looked at his girls. “Sit back down and spend some time with your favorite new mommy.”

  “A baby…in a bar?” I shook my head. “Only you, Parker.”

  “Hey, I’m not ready to be separated from her yet. Where I go, she goes.”

  I sat back down, grabbed my glass, and upended it. I really wanted some quiet and solitude. I could have kicked myself for stopping in at Mimi’s. Who knew social hour would suddenly erupt around me?

  “Why the long face?” Parker cupped my cheek and frowned. “What’s wrong, honey?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. How’s Stella?”

  “She’s great. Only feeds every two
hours around the clock, day and night. She’s about to go to her daddy so you can tell me what the hell is going on with you. You look down in the dumps and that’s not acceptable. Who do I have to kill?”

  I sighed, the weight on my shoulders settling a little more heavily. “I’m fine, Parker.”

  “Laila…”

  “Please.” My voice broke and I stood. Pulling a few bills out of my pocket, I threw them on the counter and pulled the bottle into my side. “I have to go. I’m sorry to abandon bonding time, but I don’t feel well.”

  Both Grace and Parker protested, but I pushed away from the bar and headed out before anyone could stop me. Didn’t anyone respect the need for a girl to tuck her tail between her legs and run off to lick her wounds?

  I hurried down the beach toward my house, but since East Public Beach was empty, I ended up dropping onto my butt in the sand, facing the ocean. I uncapped the bottle and took a long pull from it, feeling especially sorry for myself.

  It didn’t seem fair. Why couldn’t Gray be my mate? Everything in me pulled me toward Gray. It felt like he belonged to me. He looked at me in ways that made me melt. Yet… I knew he wasn’t my mate. He would’ve said something if he was.

  I sat there drinking and pouting, pouting and drinking, until the sun set. I suppose I didn’t realize just how long I’d been sitting or how much I’d had to drink because when I stood to continue on home, my legs felt like lead and walking was challenging. With my inhibitions lowered by cheap liquor, I looked both ways, determined the coast was clear, and decided to shift.

  I’d been doing it more and more and was getting better at it. The whole process was smoother. I hadn’t attempted a voluntary shift without Gray around, but that was part of my problem. I needed to cut the strings. I was far too dependent on him, treating him as though he were my mate or something just wasn’t healthy.

  I was an adult woman. And a fierce wolf. I had to stop expecting Gray to be around to hold my hand and I had to do it soon before an awkward situation developed. Like, Gray suddenly finding his mate or something. I could only imagine that scenario—me, the needy ex-friend-with-benefits, latched on like a stage five clinger to another woman’s man. A jolt of searing pain shot through me at the thought of Gray with another woman, which only served to further prove my point.

  Shifting, I settled onto four legs and my wolf immediately lifted her head in a mournful howl. She was just as emotional as I was. I let her take charge like she wanted and she ran down the beach, leaving yet another pair of my shoes behind. A real problem we were having. She didn’t care about my things, at all. Dresses shredded, shoes abandoned.

  The night air flew past us. Water splashed up as our paws stomped through the incoming waves. There was freedom in existing that way, a freedom I never would’ve known without the help of Gray. Gray—my life began and ended with him. It was a lot for a man who wasn’t my mate.

  Just like that, my wolf was running us back toward Gray’s house. I’d learned how to control our body, how to take over and take care of her. So, I did. We couldn’t go back to him in the state I was in. I needed him too much, wanted him even more. I couldn’t stand to see him right then, knowing I had no claim over him.

  I needed to do something, anything to get through whatever obsession had taken hold of me. I had to prove to myself that I wasn’t madly in love with Gray.

  Stupid as it felt, I forced myself to run home and clean up before changing into a short dress and heading back out. Back down the beach I went, stopping at Cap’n Jim’s, a cheesy club bar. The music was too loud for my now highly sensitive ears, but it helped blur out the endless whining of my wolf. She didn’t want what I had planned.

  Another couple of drinks from the bar and I was on the dancefloor, moving to a song that I’d never heard before, trying to avoid people bumping into me. When a testosterone junkie of a man approached me, his muscles dancing with more muscles, I tried to force a smile and remember why I was there.

  He yelled something to me, trying to communicate, but I couldn’t hear anything over the music. When his hands fell on my hips and dragged me into his chest, I cringed. His breath against my ear—cigarettes, gin, and garlic—was nauseating. The words he shouted were drowned out by the revulsion in my body, screaming at me to get away from him.

  I felt my teeth lengthen, and I gasped. My wolf was pissed. She didn’t want some yahoo touching us. She only wanted Gray. With a snarl at the handsy man, I tucked tail and headed toward the exit, my hastily thought-out plan crashing before it could even take off.

  23

  Gray

  Laila wasn’t at home. She wasn’t at work. She wasn’t at my house, in the marsh, at Mimi’s Cabana, or anywhere else I’d looked. Her scent was all over, leading me to each one of those places. I continued to follow her trail, rechecking each location and almost missed the break off of her scent that led to Cap’n Jim’s. There was no reason for her to be there. It was an overpriced, touristy club bar that had watered-down drinks and didn’t attract many locals.

  My throat tightened when I realized where she’d gone. I’d gotten caught up at work finalizing some things for the new business, then I made a phone call—the one turning down the job offer.

  Before I could slip into Cap’n Jim’s, the door flew open and Laila stumbled out, her eyes wide, teeth extended. When she spotted me, those pretty fangs faded and her arms wrapped around my neck.

  She stank of another male. Instantly outraged, my wolf came to the surface. Snarling down at her, I grabbed her arms and held her away from me so I could sniff her.

  “Who touched you? Did he hurt you? Take advantage of you?” I growled the words, so angry I couldn’t think clearly. “I’ll kill him!”

  Laila stuttered, her hand going to her throat. “W-What? I… Gray…”

  “Tell me!”

  Laila shoved at me. “It’s none of your damn business.”

  Shocked by her words, I stepped back. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. It’s none of your business if I smell like another man.”

  My better senses left me and before I’d even thought about what I was doing, I hauled her up, tossed her over my shoulder, and smacked her ass. It felt so good, I added a squeeze. “It’s my fucking business, alright.”

  Squirming and hammering her fists against my back, she fought like the she-wolf she was. She kicked and beat on me as I carried her all the way down the beach, across Main Street, and up the stairs to my front door. I only put her down so I could sit on the couch and pull her onto my lap.

  She continued to squirm, but I held her tight. “I’ll fucking kill you for that!” Laila fought harder. “You have no right!”

  I held her wrists tight, restraining them, then growled inches from her face. “I have every right. You hear me? Every single right.”

  When I let her up, she swung at me and only missed because I moved. Her open hand came at me again, but I caught her and pulled her back across my lap, facing me. She struggled, her eyes blazing.

  “You let some asshole put his hands on you. I can smell him all over you and I want to fucking rip his head off his shoulders. You do that shit again and you’re going to get someone killed, Laila.”

  “Are you crazy? Why the fuck…? What do you…? Ugh!” She managed to get one of her arms free and tugged at my hair, she pulled my head to the side and I let her, exposing my neck to her. Her very human teeth were there, then, scraping across my throat, marking me in her own way. “I hate you.”

  I shook her lightly, getting more of my hair tugged at. “Say that again and I’m going to turn you over my knee, little wolf, and spank your ass again.”

  “I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” Her grip in my hair stopped tugging, her nails raking over my scalp as she grabbed my head. Her body straddled mine, her thighs squeezing my hips. “I fucking hate you so much.”

  I caught her chin in my hand and forced her to look at me. “You don’t hate me.”

 
; Growling, she tried to get free. “I do. You make me crazy and it’s not fair.”

  “Tell me the truth, little wolf. Tell me how you really feel.” I held her gaze, daring her to tell me the words I desperately wanted to hear from her. My chest throbbed, my stomach was stuck between sinking to my feet and lodging in my throat. “Tell me.”

  “I can’t. It doesn’t matter.” She went still. Then laughed a hollow, humorless laugh. “Can’t you tell? Do I really need to say it? I love you, but it doesn’t matter.”

  I fought a smile, my body releasing tension I’d been holding for too long. She loved me.

  “Why are you smiling? Is that funny?” She slapped my chest and growled. “It’s funny that I love you? It’s funny that I fell for someone who isn’t my mate?”

  I yanked her closer to my chest and growled against her mouth. “Who said I’m not your mate?”

  Laila’s fingers tightened on my chest. Her heart beat so hard that a normal human could’ve heard it. “What?”

  I shrugged, acting like my entire life—my entire world—wasn’t riding on her loving me forever. “Who said that I’m not your mate, Laila?”

  “You did… You said you weren’t looking for a mate.”

  “Didn’t really need to when she showed up at my front door.”

  “You… What? You didn’t say anything. You didn’t say anything about it, Gray. Don’t joke about this. Please don’t.”

  I wrapped my arms around her waist and held on. “I was waiting for you and your wolf to work things out. I was giving you time to heal and decide whether you wanted to be with me.”

  “My wolf has been screaming at me over you since the beginning. I thought she was crazy.” Laila blinked back tears. “Why didn’t you say anything?!”

  “I had reasons. Although…they seem a little lame now.” I buried my face in her neck and groaned. “What were you doing out tonight, little wolf?”