“In Lobster Cove? I can’t remember the last time we had a robbery. Besides, I don’t have anything much worth stealing.”
“Tell me you lock your doors at night when you and Ava are sleeping.”
She rolled her eyes. “I promise you I lock my doors at night, mainly because I don’t want to be found in my nightgown if someone comes over for a surprise visit late at night.”
“Geez, Julia.”
“Like I said, it’s not a big deal.”
He thought she was being naïve, but he let the subject drop, for now. Bad things could happen anywhere, even in a small town like Lobster Cove. The illnesses of patients like Melissa and Edie proved it.
He followed her into the house. When they went into the living room, he saw that a corner had been blocked off with cardboard boxes, a plastic filing cabinet, and a baby gate to create a corral of sorts. Ava sat inside the corral, a fluffy white kitten cradled gently in her arms. Alex moved the baby gate and ventured inside. Julia stayed on the outside, watching.
He got down on his knees beside Ava and ran a finger over the soft fur of the kitten’s back. “So this is your new friend. What’s her name?”
“Snowball,” Ava replied. “Because she’s as white as snow.”
“Good name. How old is she?”
Julia answered. “Four months. We had her at the vet clinic today, and she got some shots.”
“She didn’t like it,” Ava said.
“Neither did I,” Julia said. “Veterinary care doesn’t come cheap. And it’s just the beginning. Our vet says that if we don’t want Snowball to have a bunch of little Snowballs in the future, we should have her spayed when she’s about six months old.”
She looked worried, and for the first time Alex wondered about her finances. She’d remarked once about the low pay of a teacher. Was it really that tough? Being a single parent couldn’t be easy financially. Was she getting any child support from her ex-husband?
“Snowball learned to use the litter box all by herself,” Ava said proudly, pointing to a low-sided plastic box in the corner. “She hasn’t peed on the floor once. Mommy says that once she gets a little older, we won’t keep her cooped up in here anymore.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” he said. “When she gets a little older, she’ll be able to jump out of here anyway.”
“Have you ever had a kitten, Dr. Alex?”
“No, I’m more of a dog person. When I was a little older than you, I had dog when I lived in my grandmother’s house. I like cats, but my mom wouldn’t let one in the house. Too much cat hair messing up her house, she said.”
“She was right about that.” Julia moved the baby gate aside and stepped into the corral. She stooped to stroke the kitten, a smile on her face. “You’re going to be a lot of extra work for me, aren’t you, Snowball?”
Despite her words, Alex saw the affection in her touch. She straightened and went to the litter box, grimacing as she looked inside.
“The good news is that she’s using the box, and the bad news is that I have to clean it. I swear, Ava, you’re going to be doing this soon.”
“I will, Mommy. I promise.” Ava probably would have agreed to do anything to keep the kitten.
Julia smiled fondly. “I know you will. Someday. But for now, it’s my job. I’m going to take this out to the garbage can. Ava, a couple more minutes with Snowball and then you have to get in the tub.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
She took the litter box outside to dispose of the contents. A few minutes later, she returned to the living room and refilled the box with clean litter, settling it on some newspapers.
“Would you like that beer now?” she asked Alex.
“Sure.”
Alex gave the purring Snowball a couple of pets before getting to his feet and following Julia into the kitchen. She thoroughly washed her hands at the sink before retrieving two bottles from the fridge. She twisted the cap from her bottle.
“Did Aaron say anything to you about what’s keeping him so busy?” she asked.
Alex shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t ask.”
“I tried phoning Edie today, but there was no answer. Same thing yesterday. She didn’t say a word about going on vacation. I’m sure she would have mentioned if they were planning to take a holiday.”
Lifting the bottle to his lips, he drank deeply, deciding it was best to say nothing in case he inadvertently let something slip. He didn’t like keeping her in the dark, but he had no choice.
Ava ran into the room, diverting Julia’s attention, for which Alex was grateful.
“Wash your hands, sweetheart, and then you can have a snack. Would you like something to eat, Alex?”
His stomach chose that moment to let out a loud growl, and she laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes. Would you like a sandwich?”
“I’d love one.” He’d missed dinner, having run straight from the clinic to the ball diamond. “But you don’t have to wait on me. I can fix it myself.”
“Sure, go ahead. Everything you need should be in the fridge. Help yourself.”
“You want me to make you one?”
“No, that’s fine. I’ll have an apple.”
They worked side by side at the kitchen counter as he made a ham and cheese sandwich slathered with mustard and topped with lettuce and pickle slices, and she cut up pieces of apple and cheese for herself and Ava.
They took their food to the table and ate in silence for a few moments. When Ava had finished her snack, Julia affectionately ruffled her hair.
“Time to get ready for your bath, sweetheart. Go upstairs and pick out some clean pajamas, and I’ll be up in a couple of minutes to run your bath.”
“Ah, do I have to?”
“Yes, you have to. Say goodnight to Alex and run upstairs.”
Ava slid from her chair and rounded the table to him. She held up her arms.
“Can I give you a goodnight kiss?”
Alex’s heart tripped over itself. He glanced at Julia, but her stoic expression gave away none of her feelings. He bent to put his arms around Ava’s tiny body, as her delicate hands wound around his neck.
“Goodnight, Dr. Alex.”
“Goodnight, Ava.”
He felt her feather-light kiss on his cheek. Then she let him go and ran out of the room, singing to herself as she raced up the stairs. When she was out of earshot, Julia lifted her gaze to his.
“I’m not doing a very good job at keeping the two of you apart.”
“Why do you have to?”
“I told you before, it’s not good for her to get so attached to you when you’ll be leaving Lobster Cove in a few months. I don’t want her to be hurt again.”
“Again?”
“She was only three when her father left. She says she doesn’t remember him, but at the time she asked for him over and over. She couldn’t understand why he suddenly disappeared from her life.”
He remembered what Ava had said about her father living far away. “Doesn’t he ever visit her?”
She looked away. “No.”
She said nothing more, making him wonder what Julia’s feelings were for her ex-husband. Was she still in love with him? Was that the reason she kept her heart so guarded?
“I’d never hurt her on purpose. You know that, don’t you?”
She lowered her gaze and stared at her clasped hands in her lap. “It’s easy to hurt someone, especially a child. You don’t even have to try very hard.”
He didn’t know what to say to that. She was right. Ava had become attached to him, and he to her. He had a hard time imagining leaving her behind when he returned to San Diego. The feeling was almost as strong as his inability to imagine leaving Julia behind. But he couldn’t imagine staying in Lobster Cove, either.
So where did that leave them?
“The other night, when you…when we…when we kissed, I…”
Her voice drifted off. She looked at him, confusion in her eyes. He leaned forward an
d grasped her hands.
“It was the most amazing kiss I’ve ever experienced,” he said truthfully.
“We can’t do it again,” she whispered.
“Why not?” He wanted to kiss her over and over again, and strip away her clothes to press his lips to every inch of her body. He wanted to kiss her right now.
Agony filled her eyes. “You know why. I told you. I don’t want Ava hurt.”
“Is that the only reason?”
Would she care if he left? Would she think of him when he was gone? He hoped so, because he was pretty sure she’d be on his mind.
“No,” she admitted. “People will talk.”
“I don’t give a damn what people say!”
“I do! I have to live here. You’ll leave and never give this place a backward glance.”
“Is that what you think? That I could forget you so easily?”
“Yes… Oh, I don’t know.” She took a shaky breath. “I wish I were the kind of person who could have a casual affair, but I’m not. And I’ve got Ava to consider.”
“So you want me to leave.”
She closed her eyes, but when she reopened them, they were free of tears and determined.
“Yes. I think it would be best for all of us if you didn’t come over after games.”
He nodded. He knew she was right, but if it was the right thing to do, why did it hurt so much?
He got to his feet and walked to the front door. Julia followed him. Stopping, he turned to look at her. She didn’t look any happier than he felt. At least that gave him some comfort.
“Will I see you at the next game?”
“At the ball diamond, yes. But not after.”
“What will you tell Ava?”
“That you have your life, and we have ours. Your life isn’t here with us.”
“I don’t want her to hate me.” The thought of Ava disliking him or being disappointed in him hurt far more than he expected.
“She won’t, at least not for long. She’ll be okay.”
Alex wondered if she really believed that. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be okay.
“Goodbye, Julia.”
He reached out his hand to cup her cheek, needing to touch her one last time. He thought she might pull away, but instead she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand, turning her face to press a kiss into his palm. Then she backed away.
“You should go.”
He opened the door and stepped through, not wanting to prolong the agony any longer. The soft click of the lock behind him signaled she’d closed the door.
He wished he could close off his feelings just as easily. He was pretty sure this was going to hurt for a long, long time.
Chapter Eleven
A week later, Julia had just put Ava to bed when the phone rang. When she picked up her cordless phone and saw Edie’s number, she eagerly pressed the button.
“Edie?”
“Hi, Jules.”
“Hi yourself. Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you for days. Your mother-in-law said she was looking after the kids while you and Aaron were out of town for a few days. Did you two go away for a second honeymoon, a little love fest?”
Edie laughed, but the sound was brittle. “I wish. I had some things I had to take care of. We were in Bangor.”
“In Bangor? All week?”
“Yeah. Dr. Campbell sent me to have some tests done at the hospital.”
Julia’s whole body went cold, and her stomach clenched. She put a hand over her abdomen. “What kind of tests?”
She heard Edie sigh and take a deep breath before continuing. “A breast biopsy, among other things. I have stage three breast cancer, Jules.”
For a moment Julia thought she might faint. She had to grip the edge of the kitchen counter to help her stand.
“That can’t be possible, Edie. You’re too young.”
“I keep saying that, but apparently cancer doesn’t care how young or old a person is.”
Julia struggled to keep the panic out of her voice. “Alex is your doctor?”
“Yes. He found the cancer initially, and then he sent me to a specialist in the city right away.”
Thank God Alex had found the cancer. But did he find it in time? “What are they going to do? How do we fight this thing?”
Edie sounded surprisingly calm. “I’m going to have surgery in a couple of days, and then after that my oncologist wants me to have a round of chemo, followed by a course of radiation to make sure we zap all the nasty little cancer cells in my body.”
“Damn right we’re going to zap the little bastards!”
Edie chuckled. “That’s the spirit.”
“What can I do to help?”
“I don’t know. Aaron’s mom is taking time off work to babysit the kids while we’re away, but I’m sure she could use a hand with my little hellions. Maybe you could give her a break?”
“Of course. How’s Aaron?”
“He’s…he’s taking it hard, Jules. He’s really trying to be strong for me, but he’s scared. I’m worried about him.” It was so like Edie to worry about the people she loved instead of herself.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ll look after him. And we’ll look after you, too. Okay?”
“Okay. Listen, we’ll talk more later, but right now I need to phone Tracy and give her the news, too. I’m sorry to dump this on you, Jules.”
“Don’t worry about me. Just concentrate on getting better.”
“I will. I love you.”
Julia could barely speak. “I love you, too.”
“I’ve got to go. Bye.”
“Bye.”
She set the phone on the counter, the numbness that had hit her when she’d first heard the word “cancer” now giving way to pain. Feeling blindly for one of the kitchen chairs, she sank into it, her legs unable to support her any longer. The tears came then, and she cried until she had nothing left except the fear that she was about to lose one of her dearest friends.
****
Alex’s cell phone woke him from the first decent sleep he’d had in a week. Groaning, he fumbled for the phone on his bedside table. When he saw Julia’s name on the screen, he sat up quickly and hit the talk button.
“Julia?”
“Alex, I’m sorry to be calling you so late.” She sounded tired, upset, and more than a little shaky. “Edie called me tonight to tell me about…about her cancer.”
He closed his eyes and bent his head. “I’m sorry, Julia.”
“She said you were her doctor, that you found the cancer.”
“I’m her GP. After she found a lump, I made the initial diagnosis and sent her to the cancer specialist in Bangor. It was important to find out what kind of cancer we’re dealing with so we can treat it properly.”
There was silence on the line, but he heard her erratic breath, as if she was holding back a torrent of tears. Finally she spoke.
“I know you can’t give me any details about her condition, but I need to understand. Edie said her cancer is at stage three. What does that mean?”
He chose his words carefully, not wanting to divulge any patient information, and not wanting to scare her.
“It means that her tumor is bigger than five centimeters across and that some of the lymph nodes are affected. But it hasn’t penetrated into the chest wall or the skin, and it hasn’t spread to any other organs.”
“What are her chances?” she asked quietly.
“Her odds are good,” he said, hoping to reassure her. “Someone with her symptoms is thought to have a seventy-two percent chance of survival over five years.”
“That’s pretty good, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It’s very good.”
Another pause. “Why did she get this, Alex? Why her?”
“I wish I could answer that question, but I can’t. Nobody can.”
“Edie is like a sister to me. She’s a good person. She’s never hurt anyone in her life.” Her voice cracked. “S
he has a husband and three kids who need her.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
“I’m so scared she’s going to die.”
“We’re going to do everything we can for her, Julia.”
“Please don’t let her suffer. I couldn’t stand for her to be in pain.”
“We’ll do everything we can to make her comfortable during her treatments, but I’m not going to lie to you. She’s got a struggle ahead of her.”
She sniffed. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
“Edie is young and strong, and she’s got the support of wonderful friends like you. She’s got a great chance of beating this, sweetheart. I want you to believe me.”
“I want to believe you. I really do.”
The pain he heard in her voice tore at his heart. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I know this is hard. But we’re going to get through this, I promise.”
He heard her muffled sob. “I should go. I’m sorry I woke you. Good night, Alex.” The line went dead.
He stared at the phone in his hand for a few moments before clicking the Off button. She was trying to deal with the news about her friend all alone, trying to be strong. Both Ava and Julia’s mother already needed her to be strong for them. How much more could she take?
Who was going to be strong for Julia?
Alex jumped out of bed and found his discarded clothes on a chair in the corner of his room. He dressed quickly and ran to the back door, where he’d left his shoes. Grabbing a jacket, his wallet, and a set of house keys, he locked the door and sprinted the two blocks to Julia’s house.
The likelihood of a neighbor seeing him enter her house at that time of the night was remote, but knowing how Julia felt about maintaining her reputation, he kept to the darkness, slipping around the side of the house to the back door. He knocked softly on the wooden door, once, twice, and then a third time, a little louder. Finally a light came on in the back door hallway, and Julia opened the door as far the chain would allow.
“Alex? What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Can you let me in?”
He saw her swallow. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Julia.” He leaned his forehead against the door frame. “You’re upset. I don’t want you to be alone right now.”
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