Aliens Abroad

by Gini Koch

“You’re the heroes of the galaxy right now,” Raj said. “Take all the time you’ll need.”

  Jeff caught my eye and smiled. “I plan to.”

  I laughed. “I’m glad you’re always laser focused on the priorities.”

  CHAPTER 110

  EVERYONE ON THE PLANETS was truly okay, which was a relief. The evacuations went more smoothly than any of us had expected. They took longer than anyone wanted, too. But smooth and slow was better than chaotic and fast, at least in this instance.

  We disintegrated the Helix Rime food replicator, but not before we got confirmation that feeding the planet’s dead sandworm monsters to it had created the planet’s rage virus.

  We’d lucked out in one way—all those who were irreparably mutated from eating the replicator’s food were all dead, killed in our battle or by each other when imprisoned after. ACE and Lilith both felt that, with the replicator and the truly mutated gone, we were okay allowing Helix Rime to disintegrate into the galaxy along with the rest of the system when Helix and Space Lucinda finally went supernova. And the rest of that population was decreed healed or healing.

  ACE and Lilith drained out of each of us during this time. ACE went back to Jamie, Lilith went back to being free, though she stuck around with us.

  I finally got to meet Ixtha. She was cool and, I was happy to note, a lot like me, though our frames of reference were very different. Jamie and Charlie were overjoyed to get to see her, and she spent a lot of time with all the kids, making them all happy and giving them something to lord over the others when we got back to the Apata system.

  Settling refugees wasn’t something that was going to be completed in a weekend, though. Alpha Four had been contacted and they were sending ships, too, with supplies for a new colony. After all, if they were Solaris territories, that made them part of the Annocusal Empire. That was us, expanding Alexander’s holdings everywhere we went.

  Kevin and Adam volunteered to take charge of refugee resettlement. Hamlin insisted on going, too, and ultimately, we sent Len, Kyle, Mossy, Wruck, Jeremy, and Butler as well. The Vata guaranteed that our people would be returned to us, either at Apata, Vatusus, Alpha Four, or Earth, depending on where the rest of us were when the resettlement was completed. Lilith chose to go with them, which felt right and meant that they’d have great help.

  They’d also have the rabbits of ours that had gone giant and the Most Weasels. Those animals had decided that they were needed to keep the Helix Rime people in line. Couldn’t argue because I knew they were right. On the plus side, not all the rabbits had chowed down on the Orange Scourge, per Peter because SuperBun had given them instructions before he’d become SuperStar. Worked for me, because we still had all our personal rabbits. And the Most Weasels had obviously been brought along by Algar to do exactly what they’d done and were planning to do, so no arguments from me there.

  The rest of us, including Denise, Raymond, and Rachel, went back to the Apata system. Ship docking went much more smoothly with Brian and the flyboys at the controls. Now that the Helix system was back in the galaxy, Mother didn’t care who was driving.

  Grentix and Kreaving were treated like returning heroes, deservedly. So were the rest of us. Apata had gone from isolationist to pro-Galactic Council in the time we’d been gone, in no small part due to who we’d left in the system. Jeff’s family had really stepped up and so had our politicians. It was definitely a Go Team experience.

  We’d made it down to Ignotforsta, which was a lot like the Earth, only less paved, but we were only there a day when Chuckie got a communication from Councilor Leonidas of Alpha Four.

  “Leonidas thinks that we need to send some people to Alpha Four,” he told me and Jeff.

  “Is something wrong?” Jeff asked.

  “Not really. But other systems are getting lots of face time and they aren’t. It’s totally political. He doesn’t want me to come, for example. But he does want you and Kitty, Jeff. And the kids. And Richard and Paul. I think there’s a religious festival going on and Alexander wants to include the Exonerates. Honestly, that’s a huge thing. I think you guys need to go.”

  “We can’t leave right now,” Jeff protested. “The Apatans will be offended.”

  “Leonidas doesn’t want everyone. Just a handful.”

  “We can take the sports car.” Both men looked at me. Shrugged. “I can fly it, and if you want to freak out about that, then ask James to come, too. I mean, if Paul’s going, James is going to want to go anyway. We’ll take them, us, the kids, Nightcrawler, and Richard. You know, we can take the Ard Ri, too. That’s an extra royal.” And that way I’d know exactly where Algar was.

  “Who else?” Chuckie asked. “I think you need a couple more to make it look good.”

  “How about MJO and Kristie? That way they get press coming with us.”

  Chuckie nodded. “That’s a group of a dozen. I think that works. I’ll let Leonidas know you’re coming. You guys are going to have to leave in the morning, though.”

  “No rest for the wicked, the weary, or the just plain done with it all, we know.”

  Gathered our impromptu Impress Alpha Four team together. The only one protesting wasn’t on the guest list. Buchanan was basically having kittens that he wasn’t going. Finally got him calmed down a little by explaining that the Role of the Guy Who Haunted My Every Step would be played by Siler for this short trip, but he was still pissed.

  Jeff finally lost patience. “Look, not only can the rest of us protect her, but she can protect herself. You’re the best, no argument. However, you’re going to serve everyone better by staying here and ensuring that we haven’t offended these people irrevocably by doing this side trip. And, I’ll pull rank if I have to. Don’t make me have to. Or make me ask the Ignotforstans to imprison you until we leave.”

  “Fine,” Buchanan said, clearly angry and somewhat disgusted. “God forbid I do my job.”

  “Malcolm, we still have most of the leadership of the United States in this system. We will feel a lot better if we know you’re doing your thing here, taking care of business, and ensuring that we don’t come back to a war zone. But none of that matters as much as this—nothing can happen to Wasim. I want you to guard that kid as if he were me. And I promise to tell my mom that it’s all Jeff’s fault if something goes wrong.”

  Buchanan managed a grin. “Fine. I’ll hold you to that, Missus Executive Chief. And I’ll watch Gadhavi, too. We don’t want him hurt or worse, either.”

  “That’s my Doctor Strange.”

  Happily, Algar gave us no trouble about going. Neither did anyone else. Christopher protested that his father was leaving, but he was still tired from running around a solar system and ACE leaving him, so he didn’t argue all that much.

  MJO and Kristie were jazzed about being on the team. Bellie was excited, too, which, of course, was the most important thing. Bruno and Lola were also coming along, as were Ginger, Wilbur, and our family’s rabbits. Our Poofs shared that they wouldn’t miss this for anything. So we were covered, animals-wise.

  We moved our stuff from our rooms in the saucer section into rooms in the sports car section. Then we said our good-byes again, with assurances that we’d be back quickly. Since we’d already gone and come back in the time promised, the Apatans seemed cool with our leaving. Kings and queens were great, but your own guys having done the impossible was even better.

  The sports car flew a little differently than the saucer. Reader and I got to sit next to each other, like we were in a human-created ship. There were seats behind us, so after Jeff got the kids strapped in, in the back row of course, Lizzie between Jamie and Charlie, he sat behind Reader. Algar was in the seat behind but between us, and White was behind me. Siler, Gower, MJO, and Kristie were in the row behind them, in front of the kids.

  Mother activated the version of herself she’d already ported to the sports car, which I immediatel
y named Mini-Mother. “Have a safe trip,” Mother said. “I will monitor you, just in case.”

  “Thanks, Mother,” Reader said. “Mini-Mother, are you ready?”

  “I am.” Mini-Mother sounded a lot like Mother, which was to be expected.

  We separated from the saucer. It was easy because we were in space. Space stations were where it was at.

  “I don’t want to go to warp just yet,” Reader said as we flew away from the space station. “I’d like Kitty to get comfortable with the controls first.”

  “Works for me.”

  We spent some time with Reader talking me through various differences between this ship and an Earth airplane, as well as this from what I was used to with the saucer section. Since I was mostly used to pushing buttons, this was helpful.

  We’d been zipping along for a couple of hours when I noticed something out of the windshield. “Do you guys see that dark mass off in the distance?”

  The others looked. “I believe I do, Missus Martini,” White said. “It looks something like a giant wobbly wolf’s head.”

  My stomach clenched. “Yeah, it does.”

  “And I think it’s heading right for us,” Reader said, voice tight.

  Heard a sound—someone snapping their fingers. And the mass was gone.

  Or we were.

  Instead of the blackness of space and the light of a few nearby solar systems, we weren’t alone now. There were ships, lots of them, all around us. But they looked nothing like ships we were used to.

  Most were made of bronze, some of bronze and gold. There was steel, but not as much as you’d expect. Many of these ships had different blimpy shapes or were modeled like a sailing ship. Some looked vaguely familiar—was fairly sure I saw a bronze version of a Vrierst Manta Ray, only I could see hinges, periscopes, and more on it.

  We all stared.

  “Where the hell are we?” Reader asked finally.

  “We appear to be exactly where we were, galactically speaking,” Mini-Mother said. “The solar systems are where they were, nothing has changed. Other than that we are now surrounded by ships where none were before.”

  “Ships that don’t exist in our universe,” Reader pointed out.

  “How is that possible?” Jeff asked.

  “I have no idea,” I lied, as I realized that I recognized the ship directly in front of us—I’d seen it in the three-way mirrors. “But I can say this—we’re definitely not in Kansas anymore.”

  Read on for a sneak preview of the seventeenth novel in the Alien series from Gini Koch:

  ALIENS LIKE US

  “AH,” Jeff said slowly, “are those ships all turning toward us?”

  “Yes,” White replied. “And unless I’m mistaken, they’re readying to fire.”

  “You’re not mistaken,” Reader said, voice tight. “Ready to take evasive maneuvers.”

  Well, there was certainly no time like the present for me to do what I’d trained for during Operation Interstellar. Really hoped that the universal translator was up to snuff and that Mini-Mother was going to help, versus hinder.

  “I need hailing channels open,” I said calmly. The button flashed. “Mini-Mother, you rock.” Pushed the button down. “This is the crew of the satellite ship of the Distant Voyager from Earth in the Solaris system. We have no idea what’s going on, but we didn’t mean to intrude on what’s either a party or a fight. We’ll just be going now, so you can, um, relax your trigger fingers.”

  Silence from the other side. “Let go of the button,” Mini-Mother said. “I will keep communications open and put any responses on view if able.”

  Tried not to worry about this. My kids were with us—had no idea what we might see and I really didn’t want them terrorized by someone threatening us. This moment’s example of closing the barn door after all the animals had fled.

  “You’re who from where and which ship, exactly?” a male voice asked. A really familiar voice. One I’d known since the first day of ninth grade.

  “Chuckie? Is that you?” My Chuckie was still in the Apata system, hanging out with people who looked a lot like those of us from Earth and Alpha Centauri, only more heavily animal than we were.

  Heard a lot of background noise, as if whoever was on the other line wasn’t alone and I’d freaked them out in a real way.

  “Identify,” the guy I was really prepared to swear was Chuckie said.

  Heaved a sigh. Time to pull out the gun I was pretty sure I had to use. “I’m Katherine Katt-Martini from Earth. On my Earth I’m also the First Lady of the United States and the Queen Regent of Earth for the Annocusal Royal Family. I have no idea what or who I am here, other than from Earth, though my guess is that I know you, since I’m betting you’re Charles Reynolds, also of Earth.”

  Heard more background noise and was really sure that guns were cocking. “What do you mean, ‘your’ Earth?”

  “Dude, I’d think it was self-evident for people flying around in really cool spaceships that look literally nothing like our really cool spaceship. We live in a multiverse. In my universe, we don’t have spaceships like this. In my universe, we don’t have a war going on in this exact spot in the blackness of space between solar systems.”

  “We don’t have anything called the United States,” Chuckie replied. “But you’re right—my name is Charles Reynolds. However, we’re at war with the Annocusal Royal Family, so that means you’re our enemy.”

  “How is this helping?” Jeff asked urgently.

  Looked at him over my shoulder and gave him the “shut up” glare. “No, it doesn’t. Dude, use that big brain of yours. We’re from a different universe. In our universe, the Annocusal Royal Family are good guys. Spoken modestly, God love me, in no small part due to my interference and assistance, along with the interference and assistance of all the adults in this ship with me.”

  “Adults? Do you have children on board?” Chuckie’s voice sounded tight.

  “We do. Your godson, for one. Because, in my world, you’re my oldest friend and one of my two best guy friends. My version of you stayed behind at a solar system we’ve just befriended but my other best guy friend is with us. He’s named James Reader. No idea if he’s also on board whatever ship you’re on, but I’m willing to bet that he is.”

  I’d seen this world in the three-way mirrors that had been created for me on the sentient metal moon Cradus so that I could have it on the ship with me and check on the various universes like I’d promised my daughter from another universe I would. I’d learned how to use them during my first universe switch, when I’d gone to Bizarro World.

  While the others with me, other than Algar, probably had no idea where we were, I did—we were in the Steampunk Universe. And I knew there was a version of me here, because I’d seen her, and Chuckie, Reader, and, most importantly, Jamie.

  “You sound like spies,” Chuckie said, though I heard the uncertainty. “This isn’t a battle, it’s a planning meeting. And it would be the best place for spies to sneak in.”

  “Stupid spies, sure. Dude, if we were spying on you, we sure as hell wouldn’t have chosen this way to show up on your metaphorical doorsteps.”

  “Maybe. Maybe this is your gambit—that you come to us with some bizarre story so we trust you.”

  “I get the concern, but we’re not trying to Trojan Horse you guys. We didn’t actually plan to be here, it just happened. When this kind of crap perpetrates itself on me, that usually means that wherever I’m going needs my special form of crazy to save the day.”

  “I don’t follow you.”

  “So few ever do. Look, my daughter, Jamie, is also on board the ship with us. Why don’t you do everyone a solid and go find your Jamie and ask her if we’re enemies or not.”

  “A what? What do you mean by a solid?”

  “Wow. Learning each other’s slang is going to b
e the issue, isn’t it? A solid means a favor. In our world. As in, do all of us one and get Jamie, pronto if not sooner.”

  Silence.

  “Baby, seriously, what are you doing?” Jeff asked quietly.

  “We’re clear that we’ve changed universes now,” Gower added. “Because we’re not stupid.”

  “So, totes don’t feel obligated to explain it,” Lizzie said from the cheap seats. “Even Charlie and the pets are clear on the sitch.”

  “Geez, everyone’s a critic. I’ve seen this world before. I exist here, so do Chuckie, James, and Jamie. I have no idea who else is here or isn’t, but if we’re talking to who I’m prepared to swear is Charles Reynolds, then his version of Jamie is there, somewhere.” Because I’d seen her, on a ship like the one that was moving toward us. It was the only ship that reminded me of the Distant Voyager. In fact, it reminded me of the Distant Voyager very much, only the Distant Voyager was still brand-spanking new and this ship looked ancient. Lovingly cared for, but still, old as dirt.

  Looked down at Algar, who contrived to look innocent. Yeah, I wasn’t buying it. He’d been here before, of that I was certain.

  The viewscreen went live and sure enough, there were people I recognized. They weren’t dressed anything like us, but they were us, or at least some of us.

  Jamie was in front of Chuckie, who was standing next to this world’s version of Reader. Both men were in leather pants and boots and brown shirts that were sort of like button-downs and sort of not.

  Chuckie had on what looked like a leather lab coat with about a zillion pockets, all full of something, that just about hid the gunbelt and laser pistol. He had interesting goggles with a ton of lenses and levers shoved up onto his forehead and what looked like a porkpie hat on the back of his head. He was also wearing black gloves.

  Reader was in a leather duster that had its pockets and guns on the inside and he, too, was wearing gloves. He had a cowboy hat on, albeit not a ten-gallon one. As with anything and everything else and any and every other universe, Reader looked ready for the runway.