by Frankie Love
A smile spreads across my face, as I fully allow the moment to overtake me. He begins to rock gently against me.
“Oh God, Mia,” he groans. “I’m gonna come, you’re so fucking tight. So, damn hot.”
He loves it and I do too, offering our bodies to one another in every way. I blink back tears of pleasure as he finishes inside me as I come. The orgasm a surprise and a rush that starts in my shoulders, weaving its way to my toes. My core is ignited and alive as a thousand pinpricks of pleasure round out against my openings. I gasp, panting for breath as Ford demolishes every idea I ever had about sex.
“Oh, Ford,” I moan, falling into the bed, my body spent and alive.
We shower together, soapy water covering my breasts, his cock, making the night feel like a fantasy.
We were indulgent and ordered dessert to-go from the cafe and now, sitting on his bed in fluffy hotel robes, Ford opens the box of flourless chocolate cake and feeds me bites as we groan in delight.
The sex was incredible, but this cake is pretty fucking good too.
I’m just beginning to fall asleep in Ford’s arms when my phone rings. I reach for it on his bedside table, not even bothering to cover my body with a sheet. Ford has seen all of me at this point. Over the last four weeks, there isn’t a part he hasn’t explored. That he hasn’t tasted and devoured.
The same goes for him. His body turns me on so damn fast and I constantly crave more.
“Who’s calling?” Ford asks as I fumble for my phone in the dark.
“Mia?” Tallie’s voice is filled with fear. “I can’t find Matty anywhere. He was in his room playing a video game but now he’s not there.”
I’m already standing and pulling on my jeans. I put the call on speakerphone, so Ford knows what’s happening.
“I’m just upstairs in Ford’s room. Meet me in the lobby?”
“Of course.”
I hang up and slip on my top and pull on my boots.
I sling my purse over my shoulder and turn to Ford. “Are you coming?”
He’s already dressed, and his hand is on the doorknob. He looks at me like I’m crazy. “Of course, I’m coming, Mia. We have to hurry.”
“I know,” I say. But his eyes are dark and his intensity is palpable.
“Come on, Mia.” Ford grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together as if he vows not to let me go, and pulls me to the lobby. His palm is sweaty as he rushes us toward the lobby. My fear is real, and I can tell Ford’s is too. His reaction is intense but I don’t begrudge him that. I’m grateful he understands the weight of this moment, even if his words are tight with terror.
Tallie runs toward us, crying. “Where would he have gone?” she asks.
I shake my head. “It’s so unlike him. Did you call his friends?”
Tallie looks at me like I’ve grown a third eye.
“Right. He doesn’t have friends.” I run a hand through my hair, thinking of where we can start looking.
“Let’s just think logically,” Ford says. His voice is stern and I’m glad he is here, that he can help take control. My chest is pounding and my shoulders shake. “Where does he like to go?”
“The used bookstore?” I suggest. “But it’s after ten o’clock at night. Everything is closed.”
“He kept saying he wanted to go to Brooklyn Zoo to see the bear,” Tallie says.
“There’s no way he would have gone all the way to Brooklyn,” I say.
“Is there anything else anywhere else he’s been mentioning?” Ford asks. “Think, Mia. Think.”
“I am. God,” I say, flinching at his tone.
“Um, last week he mentioned wanting to see Ford’s sculpture,” Tallie says, fear tracing along the edges of her eyes.
“That’s right,” I say, nodding, panic growing in my belly. I remember him asking me while I was on my way out the door with a garbage bag, and while I was cleaning up the dishes after dinner, and when I was trying to balance the budget. All times when I couldn’t give him my full attention. Hell, any attention. Pressing a fist to my mouth, I manage to add, “Matty asked me three days in a row about it.”
“Are you serious? Fuck, why didn’t you tell me?” Ford asks, practically accusing me of something. “I would’ve taken him.”
I lift an eyebrow. “Because it’s your job. A kid can’t just hang out at your job site. Besides, we’re a fling. Not a relationship. You don’t need to hang out with my kid brother.”
Ford looks at me like I’ve lost it. “You realize there are literally dozens of people standing around my job site every single day. Filming me. Photographing me. Adding their commentary to every move I make?”
“I get it. I should have, but I didn’t and now… fuck. He’s gone.” I feel tears brimming in my eyes, and I need to be strong for my family.
I don’t tell Ford the other reason why I didn’t ask for him to take Matty to work. I saw how comfortable they were with one another at the bowling alley. Playing Nerf war in the lobby. The way Matty and he sat on bean bag chairs in my brother’s bedroom playing Star Wars Battlefront on the PlayStation for hours.
The last thing Matty needs is to get any closer to someone who will be gone in a matter of weeks.
“We can’t waste time. Call 911, Mia. And let’s head to the park. It’s our only lead,” Ford says, tension brewing in his eyes. Under his breath, he adds, “And let’s pray to God he’s okay.”
“He wouldn’t have gone to Central Park alone, at night,” I tell him, shaking my head. “There is no way.”
Ford and Tallie share a look that means they both think I’ve lost it.
“Right.” Tallie pushes her lips forward, arms crossed. “He also knows not to leave the apartment and he did.”
Ford runs a hand through his beard. “Matty’s been through a lot and maybe he needed to get—”
I cut him off. “Don’t even,” I start. I take his words personally, pointing to my chest I say, “I’m his guardian. I’m the one taking care of him. I know what he needs.”
Ford nods his head, irritation and worry showing on his face. “You’re the boss here. You call the shots. So, where do you want to go look?”
Tears are in my eyes and I feel like I fucked everything up. And Ford is looking at me like I’m a failure. Like I’m the reason Matty is gone.
And the truth is, as hard as it is to admit, maybe I am.
19
Mia
Ford may be a wonderful man, but he is also a massive distraction. I haven’t been giving Matty the attention he deserves. This realization dawns on me all over again as I make the decision.
“Fine,” I say, running a hand through my hair. “Let’s go to the park. Can’t think of anywhere else. I mean, except the bodega on the corner.”
“Okay,” Tallie says. “Let’s look there first.”
The three of us rush out of the lobby and run toward the park. I call 911 as we turn the corner. Tallie runs into the bodega with Ford, looking up and down the jam-packed aisles as I make the call.
“Yes,” I tell the operator. “He’s ten years old. Shaggy hair. Freckles. Cute.” I nod. “I know, I know. Cute isn’t helpful. But he was at the apartment and now he’s gone, and I can’t find him –”
The operator cuts me off. “He is not missing if he has been gone for thirty minutes.”
When I hang up, Tallie looks at me with wide eyes. “What they say?” she asks as we move through an intersection.
“He’s been gone less than an hour, so he’s not exactly missing yet.”
“Shit.” She runs a hand through her hair. “I’m so sorry, Mia. I can’t believe I didn’t notice him leave.”
“Don’t apologize,” I tell her sharply. “It’s my fault. I should’ve been at home. Not in Ford’s bed.”
“His bed?” Tallie screeches. “Oh, my God. You were having sex when I called?”
“No,” I groan. “We’d already finished.” I’m out of breath, running so hard for the sculpture garden, that I lean ov
er, my sides aching.
Ford wastes no time in snapping at me. “Mia, you can fall apart later. Right now, you need to get your shit together. We have to find Matty. You know this city and how dangerous it. Hell, a kid shouldn’t even live here.”
My skin prickles as he shouts, I’m shocked to see him so angry. I know it’s scary, but he’s taking this out on me. And right now, we just need to find my brother.
I push away from Ford and run off toward the area in the park where his sculpture is being built. Tears flood my face and I feel a wave of embarrassment for being so rude… but I don’t think he understands the weight of responsibility on my shoulders. This fling has been fun, but somewhere in this whirlwind romance, I lost my grip on reality. I am a guardian first and foremost.
“Look,” Tallie shouts. I look back at her and see where she’s pointing.
“Oh, my God.”
Ford is already moving. As Ford’s sculpture grew, so has the scaffolding around it. The scaffolding around his sculpture is three stories high and at the top there is Matty.
Stuck.
Crying for help.
“Matty,” I shout. “You okay?”
Ford is already pulling himself up the scaffolding and reaching for my brother. Each step he takes is decisive and he maneuvers with ease. His body is so sure of itself. It’s what has drawn me to him, so hard, so fast.
Ford reaches Matty and when he tries to pull him into his arms, Matty screams.
Using the flashlights on our phones, Tallie and I try to see what is happening, but it’s practically impossible.
“It’s his foot,” Ford shouts. “He’s gonna be okay.”
Tallie wraps her arms around me as we stand at the base of the scaffolding. “It’s okay, Mia.”
Her attempt at comforting me only makes me feel more like crap. “I should be the one making you feel better, not the other way around,” I tell her.
“Don’t be stupid.” She leans her head on my shoulder, as we watch Ford ease Matty’s foot from the bars he got it stuck in, with the light of the phone, I see tears in my little brother’s eyes.
I hate that I let him down.
We watch with bated breath, as Ford makes his way to the ground, Matty clinging to him, his arms tight around his neck.
“What were you thinking?” I start in, but Tallie shakes her head, warning to me cool it. I take a deep breath, so damn grateful he is in one piece. “You scared me half to death, Mathias.”
“Sorry,” he says, his voice so small. “I was bored, that’s all. I wasn’t thinking.”
“We need to get him to the hospital,” Ford says. “Let’s hope it’s not a break.”
I nod, feeling ashamed at the first thought that runs through my head. Not about Matty’s well-being, but an emergency room visit and the accompanying bill.
Another bill we can’t afford to pay.
I look up at Ford and see that he’s sweating, and the lines of worry on his face run deeper now than ever.
“Hey, Matty’s okay,” I tell Ford, reaching for his arm. “Thank you. You saved him.”
Ford flinches at my words and I don’t know why they upset him, but it’s clear I’ve said something wrong.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
Ford just shakes his head, jaw clenched. He carries Matty, as the four of us head toward the street to get a cab.
“Matty’s okay, Ford. Can’t you smile over that?”
“Dammit, Mia,” he says, holding Matty in his arms. “He could have been seriously hurt.”
I swallow the lump that has formed in my chest, a pang of shame washing over me.
I have too many balls I’m juggling and tonight I let one drop. Thankfully we are all in one piece, for the most part. I’m just glad my brother is okay… but Ford’s reaction worries me.
I knew this fling had a ticking clock, but alarm bells are ringing. I need to end this before someone really does get hurt.
20
Ford
I’m retreating. It’s not even a choice… it just is. The moment Tallie called and told us Matty was missing, my heart started pounding in my chest.
I was pulled back in time to a place I never wanted to see again.
It’s all too close to home. And being here with Mia, what happened tonight, it’s the exact reason I always push people away.
She’s knows something is off. I see it in her eyes; in the way, they don’t quite meet mine. And when we return to the hotel in the early morning hours, after the hospital visit, she asks if everything is okay. “I understand it was scary… but Ford, you showed me a side of yourself I’d never seen before. And I just want to make sure you’re alright.”
“It was a long night,” I say, my heart closing even as I speak.
“You sure that was all?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry for getting so intense.”
“No. I understand that fear causes us to act crazy sometimes.”
My heart tightens. She is being so graceful, so understanding. I snapped at her when memories came flooding back to me and that wasn’t fair.
She pulls her long dark hair up to the top of her head and secures it with a tie. Her eyes are dark, and I know we’ve only known one another for a month, but it feels so much longer. She looks at me like she wants to take away my worries, but I’m not sure she’s in a place to fix the mess of a man I am deep inside.
“I’m glad it was only a sprained ankle,” she says with a sigh. “But it just put things in perspective.”
“Ain’t that the fucking truth.” We’re sitting on her couch. Matty and Tahlia are both in their rooms. Matty’s foot wasn’t broken and thankfully the sprain will heal in a few short days. He was worried that he’d miss his summer camp, but Mia assured him everything would go as planned.
As planned.
As if anything in life goes as we expect. I pull her into my lap wanting her close, even though I know that before the night is through, I need to say goodbye.
It’s too much. I said it was a fling, but my heart is getting tied up in hers. It’s all too damn soon. And tonight, solidified the reason I have my fear; the reason I push people away.
I know what it is like to get hurt. To be wrecked and ruined. Raw in ways that broke me once.
I won’t add my pain to her own.
She straddles me, and I wrap my arms around her shoulders. Our eyes finally meet.
“Ford, what’s going on with you?”
I cock an eyebrow and shake my head. “Nothing. Just intense, you know?”
“It’s more than that,” she says softly. “Did I do something wrong?”
All I want right now is to kiss her, take away her worry. Tonight, we shared a first, and it was so damn vulnerable, so absolutely beautiful. I hate that the night has gone so fucking sideways. But none of us can control that now.
I run my hands over her arms, resting them on her hips. I shake my head because damn, this woman does things to me—and so quickly. And that is the trouble.
She sighs again. This time though, she lets her head fall to my chest. “I don’t understand you.”
“I thought this was just a fling?”
She looks up at me, her green eyes flecked with sorrow. I know she’s had a hell of a year, and that’s why anything more than a fling with me is a bad idea.
I’m not the sort of man she needs. I can’t give her what she deserves. Someone whole.
“It is, or at least it was,” she whispers. “You looked so scared tonight, Ford. Why?”
I scoff, burying the truth. This situation is all a little too close to home.
“Is it because it reminded you of when you saved the mayor’s son ?” she asks.
I pull back from her. “That jackass is the last fucking thing on my mind.”
She twists her lips. “Okay…”
“Look,” I say, sighing. “The mayor’s son was being an idiot, trying to climb places he had no business being. Matty, he’s just a kid.”
She nods. “
I understand that. I was scared too… but you seemed almost…” She licks her lips, her fingers on the buttons of my flannel shirt. “You seemed a little unhinged.”
Every muscle in my body seems to tighten. I press my fingers to my eyebrows, remaining in control. I need to tell her truth.
“This isn’t easy to say. But I had a son, Mia. And uh…” I swallow, trying to find the right words. “He died five years ago. And when Tallie called…” I stop speaking, never sharing parts of myself like this with anyone. It’s why I live alone, why I keep everyone at arm’s length.
“Oh, my God, Ford.” She presses a hand to her chest looking at me with such sad eyes. I can’t bear to look at her like this. She’s all light and love and smiles. Sunrise and sunsets. Not a cloudy storm sweeping in. But now, her eyes are filled with tears and she’s shaking her head looking at me like the broken man I am. “I had no idea. I’m so, so sorry.”
I suck in a deep breath. “Yeah, well, I just… the idea of Matty being hurt? It’s a lot.”
Her hands are on my chest, her body so close to mine. The past hurts so damn badly. I want to feel good, to fly. I want to fucking forget. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks.
“No, I don’t.” And it’s the truth. I push those memories away every chance I get. It’s too painful, too heartbreaking. A son should always outlive his father.
Yet, that’s not how it happened for me.
Fuck, I’m gonna lose my cool if I keep thinking about it. So, I distract myself with the most beautiful woman in the city. I press my mouth to her ear.
“Can we not go there tonight? I’d rather go someplace else.” I squeeze her ass, my desire for her growing but really anything would be better than returning to that unforgettable day when I lost the most precious thing in my life.
She doesn’t match my tone though. Instead, she sits up straighter. “Listen, Ford… it’s just.” She pauses, clearly struggling to find the right words. “If we aren’t going to be real here, I don’t have time for this. For us. I can’t do the fling anymore.” She presses her lips together, tears in her eyes. “The timing is all off here for me. I just don’t want you to think… Look, I care for you, I do. But I need to give my attention to getting a new job and on my brother and sister. Tonight, put that into focus.”