Wander Girl

by Tweet Sering

  He pretended to consider for a moment.

  “Naaa, that’d be too boring,” he said with a smile. “What will you and Lulu talk about then?”

  “Feeling!” I said, tossing a KFC napkin at him. “We hardly ever discussed you, Spawn. By the way, have you even apologized to her?”

  “Did I ever!” he said, rolling his eyes. “She came to London last year, and she maxed out my credit card in Harrod’s when all I promised her was two full outfits. That’s what you get for trusting your own sister with your credit card.”

  “You deserved it, you know,” I said, grinning at the thought of Lulu’s high fashion revenge.

  “Yeah, yeah,” he said, but he was grinning, too.

  “Keep in touch, OK?” he said as we stood outside the Oakwood entrance. We had lunch at KFC, window-shopped at MBK for a while, and took a cab back to the apartment building. JC had whistled when he saw where Chris and I were staying. “Sosyal!” he said. He and his friends, on the other hand, were staying at one of the small, cheap hotels on Khao San Road, Bangkok’s backpacker haven.

  “I’ll keep in touch,” I promised, knowing I meant it. “Just don’t steal any more tapes, OK?”

  He shook his head. “You’re looking at a grown man,” he said, spreading his arms and open palms to expose his lanky frame. “I’m into stealing hearts now.”

  “Whatever, Spawn!” I said, laughing.

  We hugged each other goodbye and I stood and waved as his cab drove away.

  This is the story of JC’s life, gleaned from our phone conversations:

  He had gone into law school thinking that being an expert at the law was the only way to change the world. “My dad was a lawyer, it naturally followed,” he said. But he became disillusioned—“My own professors were people who practiced no integrity. They thought that being the best stopped with being brainy and knowing everything about the law. There was nothing greater than that—no responsibility to the community, no need to make the law work where it matters, you know.” So he quit law school (“If I had no intention of taking the bar, why endure those months leading to graduation?”) And the Land Cruiser? “It was a gift from my parents, which I had no use for anymore. Sold it, used the money to travel.” He didn’t get into film school at once—“I failed the first time.” And since his parents wouldn’t pay for it—they had, in fact, cut him off financially unless he went back to finish law—he waited bars at some of his moneyed friends’ restaurants and applied for a Chevening scholarship.

  His travels had been incredibly liberating for him, he said. “Nobody cared that I was the son of a congressman. My last name didn’t matter. Like everyone else, I was just another person trying to make his way in the world.” And he fell in love with London and British cinema (“It’s so different from Hollywood. It’s so much more…intelligent.”)

  “You know, I think Pinoys are quite capable of making good films here, too,” he had said. “We’ve got really good directors and writers and actors. The problem is with our producers—they lack vision. And balls, frankly.”

  That’s how he had decided to become not just a director but a producer, as well.

  During another phone conversation, he said how much he appreciated the guide book I had written on Surigao. I told him it was Lulu’s idea—she had practically bullied me into it, and that I was glad she did because it forced me to revisit the place and my wonderful memories of my first summer there.

  “I went back, too, you know,” he said, “using your guidebook. It was interesting to see my home through your eyes. I realized it’s not that bad. I’m really glad you captured its essence.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said, moved. “That’s the nicest thing to say to anyone who writes.”

  During a recent conversation, I told him I was working on a project. The idea had actually just occurred to me during a previous conversation with him.

  “New guidebook?” he asked.

  Come to think of it...

  “Yeah,” I said, feeling a familiar stirring in my stomach. “Yeah, it’s a new guidebook.”

  “To where this time?” He sounded excited.

  “To a familiar place,” I said.

  It’s a guide for... finding our way back.

  Because the best thing about wandering off, I have found, is coming home.

  Glossary

  “Ako din,” I said. “Buti pa si Jamie, pinakasalan.” – “Me, too.” “Lucky for Jamie, he married her.”

  “Alangan naman they won’t have sex.” – “It’ll be weird if they don’t have sex.”

  “Ampanget niya ha!” – “He’s fugly!”

  “Anak ni Nena Gallares, yung may-ari ng True North Travel.” – “Nena Gallares’s kid, the owner of True North Travel.”

  “Ang bilis naman.” – “That’s too fast.”

  “Ang ganda mo!” – You’re such a beauty!”

  “Ang ingay niyo!” – “You’re so noisy!”

  “Ang mahal pala nito!” – “I had no idea that it’s so expensive!”

  “Ang mahal pa ng ticket.” – “And the tickets were pricey.”

  “Ano baahhhhh!” – “WTF?!??!!?”

  “Ano ba hilig ko?” – “What do I LIKE?”

  “Ano ba hilig mo?” – “What do you like doing, anyway? What is it exactly do you want?”

  “Ano ka ba, Bisaya, Intsik o ano?” – “What are you—Bisaya, Chinese or what?”

  “Ano nga ba hilig ko?” – “What DO I want in life?”

  “Asar” – “That’s annoying”

  “Asteeeeg!” – “Keeeeewwwl!!”

  ate – elder sister

  “Ateng-ate talaga” – “How very older-sisterly”

  Ate’s kagagahan. – older sister’s stupidity; older sister’s stupid antics

  “... At sa awitin kong ito, sana’y maibigan mo… isang munting harana para sa ‘yo.” – “… And this song that I sing that I hope you’ll love is my meager serenade for you.”

  “Ay-ay, anjawa!” – “Aww, the fucker!”

  “Ay, boss. Gawin mo na lang dalawa... hindi, tatlo. Hindi, sige, lima na lang.” – “No, make that two … no, three bottles. No, actually, make that five bottles.”

  “Bahala na si Batman.” – “Leave it to Batman, he’ll take care of it!”

  banca – boat

  barkada – a group of close friends, a benign gang

  barong – a formal dress worn in the Philippines, typically made of cloth woven from Pineapple fiber, embroidered with ornate designs

  “Basta, gawan ko ng paraan.” – “I’ll make it happen, I promise.”

  “Basta puti, pareho lang yan,” – “A white boy is a white boy is a white boy.”

  baon – food prepared in one place and brought to be consumed in another place; also, money for food

  bida – hero; heroine

  buang – a crazy person; a loon

  chinito – Chinese-looking guy

  “College pa lang I wanted to play in a jazz band, but I couldn’t afford an upright bass, eh, mahal. That time mga P50,000. Malaki na ‘yun nu‘ng panahon na ‘yon. So sabi ko, I’ll save nalang when I start working na. But you can’t pala, eh. Your mom and I got married. So there was rent, electricity, water bills. Sabi ko, sige pa, trahaho pa ako para may extra… But the more I earned the more our necessary expenses—Helen was born, then you. Gatas naman ngayon... diaper, papadoktor. Tapos tuition. Naku, walang tigil “yan.” – “Ever since college, I’ve always wanted to plan in a jazz band, but I couldn’t afford an upright bass, it’s just too expensive. It was around P50,000 at the time, which was really expensive back then. So I promised myself, I’ll just save the money when I start working. But apparently, you can’t. Your mom and I got married. So there was rent, electricity, water bills. I said to myself, Go, go work, it’s all extra money … But the more I earned the more our necessary expenses – Helen was born, then you. Now it’s milk, diapers, your pediatrician. Then tuition. My goodness, it will never eve
r stop.”

  “Dami nga, eh.” – “I actually have a LOT. But I was …”

  “Dati pa to, eh.” – “Oh, from way back,” my dad said …

  despedida – farewell party

  “’Di ba baduy ’yan?” – “Wasn’t that movie a bit cliché?”

  “’Di ba you took up journ?” – “You took up Journ, right?”

  “Di ko alam kung ba’t ko to pinatagal. Buti na lang talaga we watched Mel Gibson.” – “I have no idea why I put this off for so long. Thank goodness we watched Mel Gibson.”

  “Di pa ako nagdi-dinner, eh.” – “I haven’t had dinner, yet.”

  “’Di siya Christian, eh—agnostic.” – “He’s not Christian – he’s agnostic.”

  dos por dos – 2x4, a piece of wood that is two inches thick and four inches wide, typically used for construction

  “Eh, bakit ako? I always order lechon kawali. Gaya-gaya ka lang naman, eh.” – “Why me? I always order lechon kawali. I don’t know about you.”

  “Eto na yon,” – “This is it.”

  “Exciting, ah. Galing naman ni Tito Dindo. Pinanindigan talaga.” – “That’s exciting. Kudos to Uncle Dindo, he really made a stand.”

  gambas – fried shrimp or prawn

  ganda – beauty

  ginamus – salted fermented fish paste

  “Grabe, he’s sooo cute! – “My God, he’s sooo cute!

  …in her apartment, grabe!” – …in her apartment, it’s that bad!”

  guranggutan – a portmanteau made from a derogatory slang term for old and decrepit people (“gurang”) and the primate genus “orangutan.” Thus, a “guranggutan” is the concise description for a decrepit old man with ape-like features.

  “Habulin ka talaga ng hilig mo, eh,” he said in explanation. “Kaya kayo, habang di pa kayo nag-aasawa gawin niyo na gusto niyo.” – “Well, when you want it, you want it,” he said as explanation. “So you, while you’re still young and unmarried, you should all do what you want.”

  “He’s nagwawala, noh?” – “He’s acting crazy, yes?”

  “Hil, TWO WEEKS lang, ha?” – “Hil, for TWO WEEKS only, okay?”

  hilig – likes

  “Hoy ang ingay niyo! Kita na’t nasa simbahan ang tao, eh.” – “You’re all so fucking noisy! Can’t you see there’s a fucking church service going on?!”

  “Hoy, biga!” – a person with an emaciated physique

  “Hoy, pumunta ka sa kasal, ha? I’ll expect you there. Sama mo ‘yung Kano mo.” – “Hey, you better be at the wedding. Bring along your ‘Kano.”

  “Inin mga yater!” – “These fuckers!”

  “I said, READ, potah!” – “I said READ, dammit!”

  “Isang Red Horse, please.” – “One bottle of Red Horse, please.”

  “I don’t mind naman.” – “I don’t mind, you know?”

  “Iuwi mo na ako sa apartment mo NGAYON DIN!!!” – “Take me to your apartment NOW!”

  “Jawajawajawajawajawa!” – “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!”

  “Jatis!” – “Shit!”

  jeepney – a repurposed military jeep turned into a vehicle for public transportation in the Philippines

  “Ka-gwapa gajud nimo! I’m sorry pero mas winner pa kaw sa winner! Grrrabi sab makatan-aw dimo si Tristan, bagan LAMUNON man kaw. Sus, ka-gwapo raba gajud!” – “You’re just soooo beautiful! I’m sorry but you’re more winning than a winner! The way Tristan looks at you, it’s like he wants to EAT YOU ALIVE. Jesus, he’s so handsome!”

  “Kanina ka pa!” – “What’s taking you so long?”

  “Kasipog ngani, eh.” – “It’s so embarrassing.”

  katorpehan – shyness and shame from talking to women, spending time with women, being around women

  “Kauyagan!” – “Slutty!”

  kilig – the figurative ringing of the bells of the heart

  kulangot – mucus hardened to a waxy gelatinous consistency

  Kulubot Pwet – Wrinkled Butt

  “Landi!” – “What a flirt/slut!”

  laos – out-of-date

  lechon kawali – pan-roasted pork, a Philippine delicacy

  lola – grandma

  “Magsama na kayo.” – “Knock yourself out, be together for all I care.”

  “Mahina kalaban.” – “I am merely human.”

  “Mahirap nang magbaon ng sakit.” – “Better be safe than sore-ry!”

  “Mahiya ka naman sa Diyos!” – “Think about what God would say!”

  malambing – thoughtful and caring

  manong – Mister

  “May blueberry cheesecake ba dito?” – “Do they have blueberry cheesecake here?”

  may hilig ka ba? – “Do you actually LIKE anything?”

  “Men, ang sakit.” – “Aw man, it hurts …”

  meron pa ba nun? OA magsimba, like my mom – does that still exist? Or go to church, like my mom?

  “Na-buang na.” – “Fuck that.”

  nakatanga lang – translate: just blankly staring at nothingness

  “Naku” my dad said, shaking his head. “Mahirap yan.” – “Oh no,” my dad said, shaking his head. “That’s hard.”

  nag-damit-ka-pa tops – tops that leave little to the imagination / tight titties-lating tops

  “Nan? Ako pa kintahay an mangulitawo dija?” – “What? And I have to be the one to do the courting?”

  “Namatay naman siya,” – “It’s OK. She died, anyway.”

  “Ngayon lang naman, eh,” – “But I only did it this one time!”

  “Na-pirate, laban ka! Kaya malaki na sweldo ng lolo mo!” – “I got pirated by the other side, complete with a solid gold paycheck!”

  “Nabuhay ka!” – “YOU’RE ALIVE!!!”

  “Naku, ’wag talaga kayo mag-tae” – “My goodness, please don’t shit on me”

  “Napakagaling ng batang ito” – “This kid is so good,” she declared …

  “OK lang sana if… – “It’d be okay if …”

  OK na rin siguro. – “… I suppose it’s okay.”

  “Oo nga pala,” – “Oh yeah, did you …”

  “O, di sya Bad boy,” Helen whispered to me minutes into the movie. “Manood na lang ako ng Robin Padilla.” – “He’s not a bad boy,” Helen whispered to me minutes into the movie. “I’d rather watch Robin Padilla.”

  “O, photography naman ngayon? What ba talaga do you want to do?” – So it’s photography now? What the hell is it that you actually really want to do?

  pa-cute – trying hard to be cute

  Pagtatawanan ka lang. “Tanga!” – They’ll just laugh at you. “Idiot!” they’d say …

  pagwawala – acting crazy; running amok; a continuing spree of improper acts

  Pa no pa tong lecheng market research na to? – Well, what do we do with this godforsaken market research?

  pare – good friend, compadre

  “Pasensiya ka na, hija, ha?’ she said, apologetically. “It’s medyo weird na wala ka pa ngang company ID, sinasabak ka na. Bea kasi tells me you’re an excellent writer. Eh, lahat kami dito kulelat sa ganyan. Nakakahiya naman kung basta-basta lang ang tribute.” – “Please forgive us, young woman,” she said apologetically. “It’s a bit weird that they’re making you do all this even when you still don’t have a company ID. It’s because Bea told me you’re an excellent writer. All of us here are zeroes on that front. We wouldn’t want to do a tribute just for the sake of.”

  “Pinoy na pinoy daw the story.” – “The story is supposed to be unmistakably Filipino.”

  pogi – good-looking guy

  pulutan – food you eat while imbibing alcoholic substances

  “Puno ang langit ng bituin... at kay lamig pa ng hangin...” – “The heavens are full of stars, and the breeze is so cool …”

  “Putang ina! Ang gwapo talaga ni—” – “That guy is such a motherfucking looker

  “Putangina niyong dalawa!” – “Fuck you both.”

  Putasiyehhhhht! �
�� “Motherfuckiiiingshiiiiiittttt!!!!!

  ref - gloss. – refrigerator

  riles – railroad tracks

  “Sabi na, eh.” – “I knew it.”

  “Sagad sa buto, eh.” – “Cuts to the heart.”

  “Sana naman pakasalan ka. Pag ganyan kasi, pag live-in na, nakakatamad nang mag-plano pa ng kasal-kasal, eh ginagawa niyo na naman ang ginagawa ng mag-asawa. Bakit pa siya gagastos, ’diba? – “Well, I hope he marries you. What happens when you start living with each other, people tend to put off planning for weddings, as you already do what married people get to do. Why bother paying for a wedding, right?”

  “Sana you got something else para may variety,” – “You could’ve picked something else to eat, if only for variety,”

  “Sa puti! Sa puti!” – “On the white cock! On the white cock!”

  sarap – “Delicious!”

  “Sayang naman.” – “That’ll be a waste.”

  “Shehhhhhht! Ang tanga kohhhhhh!” – “Sheeeeeet! I’m so stupiiiiiiiiid!”

  “Shet, gusto ko ng ganyan,” – “Shucks, I want that.”

  “Sige ba” – “Sure!”

  singkit – Chinese eyes

  “So? Mamamatay naman tayong lahat, eh,” – “So? We’re all gonna die.”

  “sooo galeng Ate! – “sooo kewl, Ate! …”

  sopas – soup

  “Sosyal!” – “My goodness, that’s flash!

  tae – shit; crap; dirt

  Taga-Mental yata, boss” – “He’s from the mental hospital, sir.”

  taga-tawa – the person who laughs at all the jokes regardless of comedic quality

  Tangena – Motherfucker.

  taong-grasa – greaseman, a crazy person who loiters the street characterized by a greasy appearance

  tapos na, ’day. – Heller girl, it’s done.

  tapos tutulugan mo lang – “… and what do you do? You sleep through it.”

  “Tara, let’s watch!” – Come on, let’s watch

  Third World nga, eh!). – the Third World, donchaknow?

  tingi – buying wares individually, in single units, like shampoo and candy and cooking oil, as opposed to buying by bulk

  “Tingnan niyo katabi niyo. Mukha ba siyang demonyo?’) – “Look at the people beside you. Do they look like demons to you?”

  tinolang manok – chicken ginger stew